I Acted Once, and Now They Call Me a Genius - Chapter 242

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Episode 242
When the filming ended, it was no exaggeration to say that Seon-woo felt as though he might collapse at any moment.
He was completely drained.
It was because of Jeong Mong-ju.
“……I feel like the most terrible murderer in the world.”
“Is that so? I feel like I died the most horribly in the world.”
At Seon-woo’s words, Seong Jun-il let out a small laugh.
Perhaps it was because he’d finished his final performance. There was something lighter about his face, though it was clear Jun-il wasn’t simply pleased.
After all, he’d lived as Jeong Mong-ju for months.
If there was anyone whose heart ached most keenly at this final moment of Jeong Mong-ju’s journey, it would be Jun-il.
Indeed, Jun-il’s eyes were visibly swollen now.
“Only now, at my age, do I understand what it means to lose one’s country.”
“……I’ve experienced it vicariously well enough myself.”
“Thank you. Because of you, I was able to immerse myself completely.”
“It’s thanks to you, senior. Somehow I was able to draw out my emotions to their limit.”
“That’s right. It was good. I really felt you grieving over my death…… which made it all the more hopeless. I thought to myself: I can never change this person’s mind. They’ve already made their decision. That realization…… ah, wait. Phew, my heart’s a mess.”
Partway through speaking, Jun-il’s eyes welled with tears, and he fanned himself with his hand fan.
Seon-woo understood Jun-il’s heart. If anything, he was impressed that he’d composed himself this quickly.
Seo Tae-rok had demanded dozens of retakes while filming this scene.
It wasn’t that Seon-woo and Jun-il’s acting was lacking. It was simply a scene where the director wanted to achieve absolute perfection.
Because of that, Jun-il had to perform the crying act repeatedly.
No matter how it’s acting, when you pour out emotion like that…… it’s natural for your heart to become tattered.
“Seon-woo, are you alright?”
“I’m all—actually, I’m not really sure.”
Seon-woo scratched his head with an awkward expression.
He’d reflexively tried to say he was fine, but by now Seon-woo himself knew that he was rather dull when it came to his own mental health.
Even before, he’d shown signs of depression without properly recognizing it.
“I thought I was fine, but there were times I wasn’t……. I guess I still don’t know myself very well.”
“……Well, that’s the hardest thing to begin with. Socrates didn’t say ‘Know thyself’ for nothing. But…… you seem to have a particular insensitivity to emotional pain itself.”
“That does seem to be the case.”
Jun-il’s expression grew serious.
“Seon-woo, do you have any hobbies?”
“I watch a lot of movies and dramas.”
“But that’s already become our profession now. You’ll end up analyzing everything you watch. That’s more work than a hobby. Is there nothing unrelated to acting?”
“……Hmm.”
Seon-woo thought about it.
A hobby unrelated to acting.
“Running……? But even that was more about maintaining my health, so I’m not sure it counts as a hobby.”
“Mm. Don’t focus only on acting. The more pillars supporting your life, the better.”
“Yes. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“No need to keep anything in mind.”
Jun-il chuckled and patted Seon-woo’s back.
“Anyway, good work. You too, Yeon-jun.”
“Thank you!”
At Jun-il’s words, Kim Yeon-jun, who’d been standing quietly beside them, raised his voice suddenly.
Jun-il looked at Yeon-jun with a playful expression.
“But you didn’t seem very sad that I died, did you?”
“Jo Young-gyu didn’t have much interest in Jeong Mong-ju, after all.”
“……That’s harsh.”
Jun-il sighed.
Well, that’s why he’d swung his weapon without mercy. For a moment, Jun-il wore an expression of hurt, then shrugged.
“Anyway, I’m leaving now. You two finish up properly.”
“Yes!”
“Thank you for your hard work, senior.”
Now Yeokjeok was nearing the end of filming.
With Jeong Mong-ju’s death, Goryeo was effectively finished. Of course, episodes like the deposition of Gongyang Wang remained……but those would be handled very lightly in comparison to Jeong Mong-ju’s death.
Goryeo’s end wasn’t completed by Gongyang Wang’s deposition.
The moment Jeong Mong-ju died, Goryeo no longer had even a life support machine to cling to.
Gongyang Wang would struggle on, requesting a military alliance and desperately trying to preserve Goryeo’s legacy……but all of that would be directed as futile.
What remained for Seon-woo were really only two meaningful shoots.
Confronting Lee Seong-gye consumed by rage, and……witnessing Lee Seong-gye’s ascension to the throne.
And that’s how Yeokjeok ends.
Well, precisely Part 1 ends, with Part 2 to be filmed later.
Part 2 might fall through if Part 1 doesn’t perform well……but.
‘That doesn’t seem likely.’
Seon-woo had watched his seniors’ performances right beside them all this while.
He couldn’t imagine this film wouldn’t be a hit. Maybe not a ten-million-viewer film, but at least a moderate box office success seemed reasonable to expect.
‘Speaking of which, hobbies……’
Seon-woo recalled Jun-il’s advice.
It didn’t seem to be simply about enriching one’s life. The worry evident in Jun-il’s eyes clearly showed concern for Seon-woo’s mental health to some degree.
Seon-woo closed his eyes.
And in doing so, he became aware of how bloodstained his mental image had become. Jeong Mong-ju’s final moments were so vivid in his mind.
That image of him crawling along the ground like a dog, desperately struggling to survive despite the blood……was burned so clearly into his vision.
“Ugh……”
Eventually, Seon-woo rushed to the bathroom.
A wave of nausea had struck him belatedly. Despite knowing all of this was acting, the repulsive feeling simply wouldn’t fade.
A sensation of having crossed a line he shouldn’t have as a human being.
It was horrifying.
His own breathing felt dirty, and even his own skin made his flesh crawl.
As a result, he clung to the toilet for some time,
“Hyung! Hyung! Are you alright?”
Park Hoon’s voice reached through the door.
He’d kept his voice low to avoid others hearing, but the concern within it was substantial. Seon-woo took a moment to catch his breath before answering, slowly.
“Yeah. I’m okay.”
“……I’m right here, so if you need anything at all, just say the word.”
“Right, thanks.”
Just hearing Park Hoon’s voice somehow calmed the dizziness he’d been feeling.
Yet at the same time, Seon-woo found that he wasn’t entirely repulsed by that dizziness he’d just experienced. When he thought of it as the emotion Yi Bang-won would be feeling right now, he actually wanted to explore it further.
‘……How would it have been.’
When “Cut” is called, an actor no longer performs. They can escape all those emotions.
But the actual person couldn’t.
He would be staring down at Jeong Mong-ju’s corpse, that indelible final image replaying in his mind……crushed by that reality.
He would have felt nausea far more severe than anything Seon-woo was experiencing now.
Yet he would have endured it.
Because Yi Bang-won doesn’t break. No matter how close to breaking he seems, Yi Bang-won is a person who refuses to break.
So there was a desire to feel this revulsion a bit more.
If he could channel this into his performance, his portrayal of Yi Bang-won might come more alive.
In that moment, he understood why Jun-il had told him to have hobbies.
Seon-woo’s only hobby was acting. But if through that hobby he had to constantly absorb such negative emotions……the psychological damage would inevitably accumulate.
But for now, this much should be acceptable.
At least until this filming was done……being depressed for a while was fine.
As he was thinking this and leaving the bathroom,
Park Hoon, who’d been waiting outside the door, looked at Seon-woo with a serious expression.
“Hyung. Come somewhere with me for a bit.”
“……What? Somewhere all of a sudden?”
“You’ll see when we get there.”
Park Hoon put Seon-woo in the car and drove without a destination in mind.
To Namhae, a seaside area about twenty minutes from the filming location. Standing at the harbor, filled with fishing boats and speedboats, Park Hoon handed Seon-woo a chocolate.
“Here, have this.”
“……All of a sudden?”
“Hyung, haven’t you been neglecting everything in your daily life besides acting lately?”
Was he?
Only then did Seon-woo think that Park Hoon might be right. In fact, lately he hadn’t really paid attention to anything besides acting.
“It’s been like this since Yeo-ui-ju. You don’t really have a daily life, hyung. At first, I thought that was the mark of a good actor. Ah, he’s so devoted to acting that it explains this kind of performance. That’s what I thought. And honestly, I still think that way. But hyung.”
Park Hoon turned to face Seon-woo.
And Seon-woo flinched. Though Park Hoon was only a year younger, his eyes held the maturity of someone ten years older. There was a certain wisdom in them, as it were.
“As an actor, maybe it’s fine. But as a person, it won’t do. A person has to take care of themselves. I’ve seen far too many people fall apart by overlooking that.”
“……”
Seon-woo was at a loss for words.
He’d briefly entertained the thought that maybe it was okay to surrender further to Yi Bang-won’s feelings right now, but saying that aloud seemed too immature.
In the end, all Seon-woo could say was,
“I’m sorry. I made you worry.”
“……No. I was out of line myself.”
Park Hoon smiled wryly and shook his head.
And looked toward the sea.
“I just wanted to show you something like this. I wanted there to be at least some time where you could rest. Don’t think you can catch up on rest later. ‘Later’ isn’t something you can take for granted. That ‘later’ might never come.”
Watching Park Hoon speak like that made him wonder.
What on earth had Park Hoon experienced before becoming a manager? What kind of life had he lived to speak with such depth at this age, and to have…… such sad eyes?
But Seon-woo didn’t press him about it.
When the time came, Park Hoon would tell him on his own. For now, what Seon-woo needed to do wasn’t ask questions—it was to answer.
“You’re right. I’ll be more mindful going forward. But……it really does feel good being out like this because of you.”
“Hehe, then I’ll keep kidnapping you from now on.”
“Well, maybe not kidnapping.”
Seon-woo smiled softly.
It was true that Park Hoon’s interruption had aired him out. Being out here in this open space, looking at the sea, he realized just how confined his world had become.
And in a way, he felt this itself was rather characteristic of Yi Bang-won……
‘Yi Bang-won wouldn’t have simply let his emotions consume him.’
No, rather, he would have struggled earnestly to overcome them.
Looking at the white and red lighthouses standing on either side at the harbor entrance, Seon-woo suddenly recalled Jun-il’s words.
The more pillars supporting one’s life, the better.
Then he’d wondered what those pillars could possibly be……but somehow, he felt he understood now.
Memories like this one might become those pillars.
His anxious, precarious life seemed, in this moment……somehow a little more solid.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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