Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut - Chapter 514
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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514. The Second Day (2)
I had finally finished the full course dinner at the upscale Chinese restaurant Seo Tae-il had arranged in Seoul, devouring even the expensive vanilla ice cream drizzled with olive oil and pepper that came as dessert.
-How did you know I don’t drink coffee…?
-…Huh? Oh, what? Really? Why did I think that?
-….
-Since you can’t drink alcohol, I figured you’d naturally avoid caffeine too? Ha, but you really can’t have it? That’s interesting.
-…But how did you know I can’t drink alcohol?
-What?
I still hadn’t found an answer for how Seo Tae-il remembered details about my dietary habits. Tae-il, momentarily confused, simply assumed he’d mixed me up with someone else, yet marveled at how everything still matched perfectly.
I called out to Thirteen throughout the meal, but the system window never appeared again, true to the “temporary notification” comment.
“….”
I’d eaten the meal he provided thoroughly and spent nearly three hours there having various conversations. But truthfully, my mind was only half present.
First, when Seo Tae-il asked about my idol career, I had no knowledge of it myself and couldn’t answer. Second, the question of why Seo Tae-il remembered information about Kang Ha-jin gnawed at me unbearably.
I knew well when such situations typically occurred.
-…Hey, what did you just say?
-What?
-Your brother got divorced?
-…What? That’s not a curse to put on newlyweds, hyung. That’s harsh.
-No, you just said it. That taking care of you would be stupid, like getting divorced.
-Me?
When a Returner is affected by the timeline they’ve passed through.
Or when they try to become aware of that timeline.
“…No, that doesn’t make sense.”
I shook my head deliberately, intentionally erasing every thought that surfaced in my mind.
Five days left. Only five days.
If I just endure five more days, I can return to normal.
Or rather, after five days my memories will simply be erased, and until Thirteen restores everything, I’ll just repeat September 15th infinitely without any memories. But regardless.
Regardless, it doesn’t matter. I won’t remember any of it.
-Oh, right. There was something I wanted to ask.
-Yes?
-Are you thinking about making a comeback?
-A comeback…you mean…?
-A comeback to the entertainment industry. I was wondering if you’d be willing to prepare an album again.
-….
-I thought the inspiration was dead, but sometimes it comes back to life, you know? I got the urge to write a song for you.
That’s why I firmly declined Seo Tae-il’s offer, something others couldn’t get even if they wanted it.
After five days anyway, after just five more days, everything disappears. I’m already receiving troublesome calls from unintentionally stirring things up, so there was no need to spend my remaining time living busily and productively.
It was a “fake” timeline anyway. I didn’t want to exert myself that much.
-…No. Thank you for the offer, but I’m sorry.
So I closed my eyes. I covered my ears. It almost seemed better to bite my tongue and lose consciousness.
-Is that so? Hmm…. That’s quite an unexpected answer. You said you needed a miracle. You said you wanted to return as Kairos Kang Ha-jin.
-Well…. Everyone dreams of impossible things. I have to think about it realistically too.
-I see….
Truth be told, ever since I started repeating September 15th like a madman until now, there have been thoughts gnawing at the edges of my mind the entire time. But I built dams and fences to drive them away. Whenever they tried to slip through the cracks, I gritted my teeth and erased them.
-Do you stay in contact with the group members?
If I start looking back, it will become unbearable.
“…Please, no.”
Kang Ha-jin stopped mid-step toward home and sank down onto the street.
Finally, the dam holding back my thoughts shattered.
What about the others? Can I be certain that only I was caught up in this regression? What if they’ve started to awaken just like I did? Thirteen said it was barely possible to find my timeline—what if they couldn’t find theirs, and they’re still trapped in the loop? What about Dan Ha-ru? What happened to Dan Ha-ru? If this timeline is running on the energy of a dissolved personality, then what about Dan Ha-ru? The Returner wouldn’t have left him alone, would he? He said he’d handle it directly? But what if I suddenly awaken again in the middle of it? Then he’ll come back and erase my memories again? What if that takes decades, or even tens of thousands of years? Since I won’t remember anyway, does it matter? Then in the end, aren’t I just frozen in place until I awaken again? Is it really the best choice to let time repeat so mercilessly? More than that, is there any guarantee that all of this won’t affect the original timeline at all….
“Brother―!!”
“…!”
The familiar voice cut through the cascade of thoughts.
Ha-jin’s head snapped up. Someone was rushing toward him from a distance.
“…Kang Ha-won?”
Why are you here…. Isn’t it still before your shift ends?
Before that thought could fully form, what caught Ha-jin’s eye first was Ha-won’s appearance.
He was wearing the indoor slippers Ha-jin had given him as a joining gift, and his feet were half-slipping out of them. His hastily thrown-on hoodie zip-up was one thing, but the sky-blue shirt and white short-sleeved t-shirt he’d somehow managed to put on were completely soaked with sweat.
“Hey, why are you―.”
As for his face, it was an absolute mess—tears and snot streaming down as if he’d just watched some melodramatic film. His entire face was wet with moisture, making it impossible to tell if the streaks were sweat or tears, and his eyes, nose, and mouth were all flushed red.
His eyes were slightly larger and sharper than Ha-jin’s, too wide to be called narrow, and they were so swollen that the flesh had worn away, leaving them raw and exposed.
His frantic, ragged breathing was proof enough of why his entire body was drenched in sweat.
“Hey, what’s wrong with you? Why do you look like this!?”
When his only younger brother came running toward him in such a disheveled state and grabbed his knees while gasping for breath, Ha-jin forgot all about the dam of thoughts he’d been drowning in moments before and jumped to his feet.
He remembered that the weather had been quite cold lately, and Ha-won had definitely put on a light outer jacket over this hoodie before leaving. What on earth could have happened for the boy to come running out of the company without even properly grabbing his bag and end up like this?
“What are you doing here? Isn’t it still work hours? And why do you look like―.”
“Why….”
“…?”
Ha-jin hurriedly bent down to check on his younger brother’s condition, but Ha-won, who had just caught his breath, was faster.
As Ha-won straightened up and looked at Ha-jin, his eyes were even redder than before. It seemed fresh tears were welling up again.
“Why didn’t you answer my calls―!!”
It was an expression I’d never seen before in my life.
Despite living together for nearly thirty years and confidently believing I’d experienced all of Ha-won’s emotions by his side, this was undeniably an expression Ha-jin had never seen before.
That expression of genuine resentment and blame toward me….
No, it was something that couldn’t be expressed by such simple words alone.
Loss, resentment, relief, joy, hatred, anger, anxiety, fear, despair, confusion, gratitude….
“I was worried about you!”
Guilt and self-reproach.
Apology and relief.
“…Ah.”
Ha-jin let out a foolish sound without realizing it. Hearing his younger sibling raise his voice for the first time in his life seemed to have temporarily short-circuited his cognitive functions.
Only then did Ha-jin understand why his younger sibling was angry, and he frantically rummaged through his bag. He remembered putting his phone on silent mode before meeting Tae-il earlier.
“Ah, sorry. I’m sorry. The reporters kept calling, so I just turned it off for a bit. I really am sorry. Were you worried?”
“Then why didn’t you!?”
At that, Ha-won could no longer contain himself and began pouring out his emotions like a flood. His words tumbled out in excitement, his pronunciation barely coherent.
“Someone who spent months bedridden, living like a person who’d lost all will to live, suddenly went down to Busan on his own debut anniversary—something he never cared about before—spouting strange things and singing songs nobody asked him to sing!”
“….”
“But then you don’t say a word to us. Yesterday you looked like you were about to die, and I was terrified, but today you’re grinning like nothing ever happened! You talk crazy about breaking your savings account to buy beef you never even ate before, saying it’s for me!”
Kang Ha-won was, after all, a member of the Kang family, and he wasn’t someone who was usually quiet.
It was just that his parents and older brother talked so much and did it so well, with such loud voices, that he usually held back his own words and accepted his family’s opinions. Still, when he felt something needed to be said, he articulated it clearly and calmly.
“You remember that savings account you kept adding to even after you quit your job, right? Then suddenly you said you didn’t need any of it, cancelled the subscription plan, and said you’d use it for living expenses right away. And today you said you were going to meet Seo Tae-il, but you didn’t contact me, and no matter how many times I called, you wouldn’t answer!”
“….”
“I somehow managed to reach his company and asked around, and what? You’d already left a while ago? But you rejected the offer to return to the entertainment industry? When I heard you say there’s no point in chasing a dream that won’t happen anyway…!”
But it was never like this.
This had never happened before.
Never had Ha-won been this agitated, pushing him this hard, his words cascading like a waterfall.
“When I hear things like that, I…!”
Kang Ha-jin stood there stupidly, absorbing every word his younger sibling hurled at him. Ha-won thumped his own chest in frustration as he continued, his voice growing thick with emotion. His throat seemed to tighten.
“I…! I was so afraid that you might make a bad choice!”
“…Hey, Ha-won.”
“What if yesterday was all a sign! What if I didn’t notice! What if I was foolishly thinking it was a relief because you seemed happy, and I didn’t realize how much…!”
As Ha-won poured out his words, his emotions finally overwhelmed him, and tears began to fall.
Except for when he was preparing for entrance exams after growing up, or when he’d had conflicts with their father while worrying about his future and during his job search, I’d never seen him cry.
“Do you know how scared I was…!?”
Ha-won cries.
Sobbing uncontrollably.
Since I’d quit my job and returned home, Ha-won had never once asked if I was okay—he’d simply stayed by my side quietly, cracking jokes and playing games with me. Now he was crying pathetically, tears streaming down his face.
“….”
Only then did I truly understand.
My hellish twenty-nine had been an inescapable prison for Ha-won’s twenty-eight as well.
“…I’m sorry.”
I pulled my younger sibling’s arm and held him tightly in my embrace.
Just as I had held Ha-won when he was little, crying in kindergarten, afraid of being separated from me and entering an unfamiliar classroom.
Just as I had rushed to his classroom the moment class ended, holding him tight as he sat alone, shy and withdrawn.
“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”
As if to say your older brother is still here.
As if to say I still exist here, still safe and sound.
So Ha-won could feel my existence, my aliveness.
Burning hot and infinitely warm.
“I’m sorry for leaving you alone.”
I’m still sorry for leaving you alone in this hell.
I’m sorry for only thinking about escaping this hell myself and returning to happiness.
“I won’t do it again. I won’t do it again, I’m sorry.”
With that vow, I pulled Ha-won into my arms once more, holding him tightly.
The moment he leaned against me, Ha-won’s sobs erupted—his terror finally pouring out until it was completely spent.
The brothers held each other, comforting and embracing one another.
For a long time, and through all those years that had passed.
At last, they had finally done so.
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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