Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut - Chapter 440

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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440. Your Well-Being (2)
“There’s a condition.”
I opened my mouth again when I emerged from the Discount Mart with puffy eyes, arms laden with frozen ice cream bars that were rock-solid with cold.
“I need time. Thirteen isn’t here right now, and the Headquarters hasn’t been in contact about anything, so I honestly don’t know how to handle things on my own yet.”
“Thirteen? The Headquarters…? Oh, you mean those voices?”
“…Right, you heard them as voices. Anyway, yes, those.”
As I spoke, I pressed the coldest ice cream bar against my still-burning eyes. Dan Ha-ru merely shook his head once at the ridiculous sight of me.
I fumbled my way toward the New House, unfamiliar since this was my first time here, and continued speaking.
“There are things I need to investigate regarding the System, and we might need to establish more detailed specifics later, so let’s put it off for this year. If you suddenly shift into sparkly mode, Jeong Si-u and Seo Tae-hyun might find it strange.”
“Sure, whatever.”
Dan Ha-ru nodded readily at my proposal without much hesitation.
That lack of hesitation seemed to confirm that Dan Ha-ru had truly made peace with his decision, which somehow unsettled me, but I repeatedly reminded myself that Dan Ha-ru was simply Dan Ha-ru—he wasn’t going anywhere to die.
Dan Ha-ru, gazing up at the darkened night sky, spoke in a light voice.
“It’ll be a memorable birthday.”
“Ha-ru… Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“That. What you’re doing right now. That final flag—the kind of desolate line a character in movies delivers when they’re bearing everything and heading toward the end of their life.”
“What are you even talking about?”
I’d pressed the ice cream so hard against my eyes that they were practically frozen shut, and yet this bastard was triggering my tears all over again. I needed to escape quickly before hot tears—hot enough to melt the ice cream itself—started falling pathetically.
If I cried any more here, it would be a real disaster. Of the four people I’d see once I got inside, only Father would look at these swollen eyes without flinching.
“Then I have a condition too.”
“A condition? What condition?”
“Give me a chance to talk with Ha-ru again.”
This youngest one had made my eyes so puffy they could barely see, and today of all days he was being especially clingy. I was barely holding it together while he asked me to erase his personality, and now he kept demanding one thing after another.
This bastard. He’s definitely enjoying my weakened state.
“I think I understand now why Ha-ru tried to call me out before. Maybe it’s because I fully comprehend that I am Ha-ru and Ha-ru is me….”
“Then that’s settled. Why would you two need to have a private conversation? You’re just making me sadder.”
“You’re going to do it anyway, so why do you always complain like that? …Still, I want to meet again and settle things properly. Maybe Ha-ru… wanted his own disappearance.”
Unfortunately, I thought the same thing.
Dan Ha-ru was ultimately Dan Ha-ru, and this Dan Ha-ru was still that Dan Ha-ru.
Saying Dan Ha-ru so many times might cause some kind of semantic satiation, but that was the reality. So whatever this one had thought of, that one had already thought of it too.
And if I knew Dan Ha-ru, he would surely have wanted his own disappearance so that this Dan Ha-ru could reclaim his life.
“Think carefully about it. What if I get persuaded by the sparkly one?”
“You won’t.”
“Wow, why are you so confident?”
“Because you care about me.”
What kind of tactic was this?
As I lost my words at his shameless line, Dan Ha-ru smiled wickedly as if he’d expected this, and annoyingly bit into his popsicle.
“Because you care about Dan Ha-ru, you’ll definitely know what decision we truly need.”
At that point, I had no choice but to admit defeat.
I couldn’t stop Dan Ha-ru, who had already made his decision.
More than anything else, I couldn’t because he was crying out with such genuine sincerity about wanting to live this way. Just as Dan Ha-ru wished to greet tomorrow with nothing but joy and anticipation, so did I.
“…You really think so?”
And at the same time, the moment I acknowledged that choice, another question mark formed within me.
“Erasing a tomorrow I’ve already lived through and living in anticipation of an uncertain future—is that truly the most necessary choice?”
When I stand at the same crossroads of choice, what decision should I make?
Currently, I have the Mental Care Program applied to me, so fortunately my basic personality and my personality as a fixed returner have stabilized and harmonized.
But once all of this ends, I too will be given the opportunity to choose.
[SAVE OR DELETE]
Will I remember my life, or will I anticipate it?
I fell into thought, recalling that choice which seemed to loom not so far away.
“Is that really the path meant for me?”
Remembering a life that has passed—it is truly a lonely thing.
Even now, I occasionally searched through my contacts and social media for names from old memories.
Friends left behind in time that had slipped away, colleagues, seniors, juniors, and so many connections….
There was no guarantee they would make the same choices or live identical lives in this timeline either, yet I still sought out traces of them.
Even as I couldn’t be certain whether those I met again were truly the people I remembered.
“…Would that be the case?”
Do you know how pathetic it is to long for a life that has vanished?
Every time I see Ha-won, for whom the moments I don’t know are now outnumbering those I do, I imagine hundreds of times a day grabbing him and pouring out all the trivial moments we shared together.
How close we were, how near to each other, how much time we spent together.
During all those years we approached thirty together, how many conversations we had, what conflicts we endured, and yet how we became brothers who understood each other better than anyone else.
Every moment I couldn’t do that felt regrettable, and I worried that I might truly never return to the relationship I once knew….
Yet I despised myself for grasping only at the shadows of time that had passed, unable to feel the present moment and relationship as they truly were.
Remembering life and anticipating it.
Perhaps the reason I found myself thinking so much about Dan Ha-ru’s decision was a premonition that it would become my answer.
“…What?”
To my long-standing question mark, Dan Ha-ru placed a period like this.
“What kind of bullshit is that?”
…This guy really has no sense of mood.
At that sharp and clear response, I couldn’t help but laugh even as tears hung heavily from the corners of my eyes.
* * *
“I’m home―.”
“I’m home!”
The moment the entrance door opened, the first to rush out was Jung-wook, Ha-jin’s father.
He’d been drinking water in the living room, and holding a cup in one hand, he immediately asked Ha-jin and Ha-ru, who were entering with a black bag, this question.
“How much per hour?”
“…What hourly wage?”
“You went to the ice cream factory, didn’t you? Since you were taking so long, your mother and I figured you must be out earning some pocket money.”
It was certainly taking longer than expected for a trip to the nearby discount mart.
Ha-jin, well aware of this fact, handed the taiyaki from the envelope to his father and loaded the excuse he’d prepared in advance.
“I bought the ice cream but forgot which building the apartment was in for a moment. Since it was my first time, I wandered around a bit.”
“Yeah, I figured it might be confusing if you’re not familiar with the area. Nothing happened, right? I was actually about to go out and check, worried that maybe someone had followed you or something.”
“No, nothing like that. Ha-ru and I just got lost for a while before we finally found it. What about Si-woo? Did you finish the card game?”
“He’s washing up now. Ha-won is doing the dishes, and your mother was about to prepare breakfast for tomorrow, but I barely managed to stop her. She’s resting in the master bedroom now. So make sure you two prepare your own breakfast tomorrow morning.”
“Got it. Honestly, I don’t need to eat anyway. I ate way too much today.”
While Ha-jin had been out getting ice cream, everyone had apparently cleaned up and prepared for bed. As Ha-jin conversed with his father, Ha-ru headed straight to the kitchen, seemingly intent on helping with the mountain of cleanup remaining.
Ha-jin watched Ha-ru and Ha-won’s retreating figures for a moment, then entered Ha-won’s room under the pretense of changing clothes. Since Ha-won’s build was slightly slimmer and more delicate than his own, his clothes would be uncomfortable, so he made sure not to forget to grab his own clothes from his luggage.
“….”
Stepping into the room, Ha-jin finally found himself alone.
Observing Ha-won’s room—filled entirely with his own belongings, a testament to how much care he’d put into his first true space of his own—with tender eyes, Ha-jin quickly changed clothes. Then he fell into thought.
-What kind of nonsense is that?
What came to mind was Dan Ha-ru’s sharp retort from earlier.
Toward Ha-jin, who had grown overly sentimental and was trying to divine his own future, Dan Ha-ru had expressed utter bewilderment at what he considered ridiculous talk. Then, before Ha-jin could even offer an excuse, he’d poured out his words in a torrent.
-Have you lived as much as I have? You’re just a thirty-year-old who got tangled up in my mess.
-And we can’t possibly be the same, right? You genuinely lived your life with sincerity before getting caught up in me, while I’ve experienced everything under the sun by willfully manipulating every setting with my own will. The level of our concerns is completely different, understand?
It was impossible to tell whether that was an insult or encouragement.
It wasn’t even particularly harsh language, yet the way he’d criticized him was so cutting, as if he were comparing a flounder and a canned tuna on equal footing. It was neither entirely unpleasant nor entirely pleasant.
-You know best what choice you really need to make. So if you want to make the same choice as me, think harder and come back. You’re still far too early.
Still, Dan Ha-ru had criticized Kang Ha-jin without wavering. His attitude was so unyielding that even Jeong Mongju would have wept in defeat. If that guy had rewound time five thousand years and been born in the late Goryeo and early Joseon period, Yi Seong-gye might never have founded Joseon.
“Ha, seriously….”
Still, it was clear.
It felt like the vast presence of the forest and the air between the gaps—which he hadn’t been able to feel while buried among densely packed trees—were finally becoming perceptible.
Yes, there was still time.
Time to think more carefully about what choice was truly for me, and to weigh the balance of my life’s gravity.
“Ha-won, I’m sleeping in your room.”
“Sure.”
“I’m taking the bed.”
“If you want to wake up in the living room at dawn, go ahead.”
“…Cold bastard.”
“If hyung had bought me my Jaws bar earlier, I would’ve given up the pillow at least.”
“But I did buy it for you!”
“Already brushed my teeth. Good luck.”
Kang Ha-jin, having changed clothes, left the room with the look of someone who had made a decision. Ha-won, who had apparently finished most of the cleanup and was coming from the kitchen to the living room with Ha-ru, gave Ha-jin a cool smirk.
Normally a reserved older brother with a strong preference for solitude and little emotional expression, Kang Ha-won became an excellent barrage of witty remarks in a household where energy seemed to recharge infinitely. When in a good mood, he’d occasionally crack strange jokes, and he could hold his own against his formidable family’s sharp tongues.
It was why Kang Ha-jin thought Ha-won was the funniest person in the world.
“Hey, Won.”
Yet Ha-won, unable to abandon his kind-hearted nature, energetically delivered the blanket and pillow he’d prepared in advance from the storage room to Ha-jin’s room. Si-woo and Ha-ru had already laid out bedding on Ha-jin’s floor using blankets taken from the master bedroom.
Ha-jin, leaning against the doorframe of Ha-won’s room, spoke to him.
“Why?”
“…I’ve been pulling all-nighters for the past few days, so I might collapse and sleep through today too, you know?”
“You’re saying I shouldn’t wake you up in case you don’t wake on your own? Got it. I’ll let Mother and Father know ahead of time.”
“Yeah, just in case—try not to wake Si-woo or Ha-ru too early either. Especially if I wake up later than Si-woo, do whatever you can to keep him from seeing me.”
“Why’s that? Well, anyway, I understand.”
Good-natured Ha-won nodded without suspicion. Still, I was a bit worried about Si-woo, but with Dan Ha-ru around, it seemed like we could manage somehow.
‘Right, since I’m the one who asked him to do this, I should at least handle the aftermath myself.’
Even though Thirteen hadn’t returned yet and the Headquarters was unreachable, I couldn’t afford to delay now that there was work to be done.
‘What was the access code for the Studio again? Ah, I hate mint chocolate.’
I wondered how the Unconscious Space would have changed after all this time.
Suppressing the trembling anticipation and dread that coexisted within me, I summoned the brilliant blue System window into the air—the beginning and end of everything.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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