Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut - Chapter 381

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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381. What Was Bound to Come
It arrived like a horror on a midsummer night.
【[Exclusive] Crowning the New ‘Sports King’ of the Idol World, ‘Chuseok Special Idol Sports Championship’ Confirmed for August Recording】
– That bastard didn’t even die and he’s back again
The Chuseok Special Idol Sports Championship.
This notoriously brutal program was a broadcast that gathered idols together to hold a sports festival, and it maintained its existence by covering the worst elements—NO appearance fees, NO waiting rooms, NO order, NO fun, NO benefits—with only one unique strength: YES faces. That was the entire formula.
The recording time was tediously long, they didn’t even feed you, movement was restricted, and there was a high risk of injury, yet even after all that, the actual airtime for my group could be as little as a single second, so it was essentially perceived by idol fans as the “public enemy, the ultimate abuse of power by broadcasters.”
‘Still, there’s a reason the broadcasting station won’t let go of this format.’
First of all, the ratings are solid.
Thanks to the universal format of “sports,” it’s easy for adults who have no interest in idols to access, and
since idol groups from all generations rarely gather in one place unless their promotional periods overlap, it’s also easy to target young people in their teens and twenties.
And it costs nothing.
For the participating idols, they offer the “opportunity to appear on a major broadcast special during the golden holiday and maintain a favorable relationship with the major broadcasting station,” and for the idol fans in attendance, they offer the “free opportunity to watch your favorite seniors’ sports day.”
As for the equipment costs for the sports events, compared to a set that costs hundreds of thousands, it was practically nothing.
So from the broadcasting station’s perspective, this Chuseok Special Idol Sports Championship was basically their golden goose—a “national rice bowl format” that raked in ratings without spending a single penny….
“But from an idol’s perspective, this is an absolute headache.”
Our first event at the newly moved Kairos New! Dormitory was an 【Emergency Strategic Meeting to Prepare for the Chuseok Special Idol Sports Championship】.
Whether we’d become popular or not, the group members huddled together in the living room, which was much larger than our previous dorm, staring at me with bright, eager eyes. I pointed at the PowerPoint presentation I’d pulled up on the wall-mounted TV with the magic wand I gripped firmly in my right hand.

“Pay attention because this is important. The Chuseok Special Idol Sports Championship—sure, it’s called a sports festival, but it’s really just a massive idol weight class brawl. Got it?”
“….”
“Normally, Stone Board fans experience alternating hiatuses and comeback periods, fighting their own battles in their own wells, but this event brings all those fans together in one place and shows them what other wells look like for over twelve hours. That’s what this is.”
“…Okay, okay, calm down. Why are you so worked up?”
Seo Tae-hyun gestured for me to settle down as I spoke with such intensity. I took a steady breath and continued calmly.
“From the size and placement of the banners, to the size of the reverse support items distributed to fans, to how many times fans get to visit, to which members from other groups we’re close with…. Everything becomes a point of comparison.”
Honestly, with our September comeback approaching, I’d love to just go, show our faces, take the easy route, and come back, but it wasn’t something we could take lightly.
Because….
“Most of the male idol groups around our level are participating this time. One slip-up and fans will jump ship. That happens fast, you know?”
As I flipped to the next slide, a list of male idols confirmed to appear scrolled across the screen.
【Sphere (some members only), Lanion, Storm Header, Winter Tail, Phase, Endway, Saint, B-liver, Farm Tree Boys….】
“Especially you, Seo Tae-hyun! You need to be on guard. You’re surrounded by enemies.”
Among the participating groups were Lanion with Cha Min-seok, and a bunch of derivative groups from Boy Heaven including B-light. Seo Tae-hyun seemed aware of this too, nodding with a tense expression.
“Well, I mean…. They’re not exactly enemies, right?”
“Even if they’re not enemies, there’s not a single person you’d want to get tangled up with. You should have two bodyguards with you even when you go to the restroom.”
“Bodyguards at the Chuseok Special Idol Sports Championship? Isn’t that embarrassing?”
“Stick with Ju Eun-chan and Lee Yu-gun on both sides. Don’t get dragged around and end up giving away challenges, alright? You got it or not?”
I was even more worried because he was someone who’d already made an impression everywhere by handling broadcast MC duties, and there were plenty of groups with their eyes on him. Idol friendships might be gossip material when they’re good, but they could turn into poison in an instant.
Besides, from what I’d heard about those guys from Boy Heaven, no matter how I thought about it, it seemed like the best strategy was to avoid getting involved with them at all.
“You especially need to be careful about getting too friendly with people left and right from now on. Cha Min-seok at least seems to have caught on—lately there’s been no sign of him doing that….”
“I know, I know. Besides, once we’re there, I’ll be too exhausted to stray far from the group members anyway.”
With each repeated emphasis, Seo Tae-hyun nodded in agreement once more. He was sharp enough that by now he’d gotten the message loud and clear.
I advanced the PowerPoint slide. We still had a long way to go.
“Right, so now let’s brainstorm some fan engagement ideas and think about which events each of you will compete in. And I’m going to keep stressing this—our goal is not first place.”
I could see the two youngest members, blinded by competitive spirit, and Bear, who was born an athlete, all flinch at that.
I gritted my teeth and gave those guys a crystal-clear repeat performance.
“Not first place, got it? Do you understand?”
“…Yes.”
Ju Eun-chan nodded reluctantly despite his dissatisfied expression. Lee Do-ha remained silent as always, but he seemed like the type who’d figure things out and execute well anyway, so I didn’t bother pressing the point further.
“The Chuseok Special Idol Sports Championship is in September. So when is our comeback? Also September. Between the two, which one is more precious to us? Obviously the comeback, right? So our absolute top priority is safety and injury prevention.”
“….”
“With that in mind, the final runner in the 400-meter relay will be Seo Tae-hyun.”
“What? Why, why does it have to be that way?”
“That way we abandon any fleeting hope of a comeback and go into full entertainment mode.”
“….”
“While other groups brag about their Usain Bolt, we’ll leisurely admire Seo Tae-hyun’s runway walk. Any objections?”
Then Jeong Si-u, who had been listening to my strategy from the back seat, raised his hand with a sparkle in his eyes.
“Si-u, you have the floor.”
“Then I want to be the starting runner.”
“You, hyung?”
“Yeah. If I’m first, the camera will focus on me longer.”
“That makes sense. This is finally our chance to show off hyung’s face to the whole Stone Board.”
The fact that I could legitimately showcase Jeong Si-u’s face—which had transcended human beauty after bleaching his hair silver—was genuinely satisfying.
And in the same vein, there was another guy who needed to get a close-up camera shot.
“Ju Eun-chan.”
“Yes?”
“You’re doing archery.”
“…Me?”
“Won’t Eun-chan break the bow?”
“That’s fine. What matters is the close-up camera shot when he’s shooting the arrow.”
Let me emphasize once more—what matters to us is only our faces.
Keeping Nam Da-down’s ancient wisdom about Stone Board in my heart from the Miro Maze sports festival, I waved my magic wand at Dan Ha-ru, who had been quietly pretending this had nothing to do with him.
With a cheeky little “plink” sound, soap bubbles burst from the wand’s tip and pelted Dan Ha-ru’s face.
“Ah, what are you doing…!”
“Sparkles.”
“…?”
“You have one special individual mission.”
“Me?”
Dan Ha-ru furrowed his brow and spoke with a confused tone. I retrieved the wand and pointed it sharply at a single word in the PowerPoint on the TV screen.
【Storm Header】
“A special mission exclusive to our youngest member.”
“…?”
“Make a friend.”
“…No, what am I supposed to—”
Dan Ha-ru stopped mid-sentence, suddenly aware that his physical body was indeed eighteen years old.
“Anyway, everyone gets it, right? Unlike Touch High, we don’t need to worry about screen time at this Chuseok Special Idol Sports Championship. Just think of it as having fun with Destiny and enjoy yourselves. Getting MVP here or racking up screen time won’t give us anything—absolutely nothing, nothing whatsoever—except maybe being first on the list for next year’s championship.”
I hammered these points home repeatedly, drilling them into my members’ heads like a teacher conducting a brainwashing session.
“Socializing? Absolutely forbidden. Fan service? Do as much as possible. Reverse fan service? Approach it with the heart of a parent packing their child’s lunch for their first school trip. Take the sports lightly and film with minimal effort. Our goal is to be invisible. Understood?”
“Yes―.”
The members chanted in unison like elementary school students sitting through a lesson.
Despite all this emphasis, I didn’t actually believe we’d become invisible and slip by quietly. Just thinking back through our track record, there had never been a single ordinary moment when Kairos encountered a variety show like this.
But this was the first time since our debut—excluding the year-end stage—that we were doing a group broadcast with another idol group.
Whether it became a legendary moment or a humiliating disaster, the scale of attention we’d attract this time was on a completely different level!
‘Please, let us get through this safely and quietly….’
And as always, that was easier said than done.
* * *
The day of the long-awaited Chuseok Special Idol Sports Championship recording.
From the very start, I sensed that “quietly” could never exist in Kairos’s variety show life.
“Alright, Kairos. Please make your entrance!”
Perhaps because it was an event where all the idols were gathering, the championship had a special photo time prepared for the arrival. It was a simple segment where idols entered in their team uniforms and shared their aspirations for the day, but since we were lined up in order of seniority, we ended up entering near the beginning.
“Now? I’m going out now?”
“Go on, hurry.”
“Yoo Gun, what are you thinking?”
“Wondering what kind of clever headline will come out today.”
“I’ll go first, follow slowly.”
“Watch out for the stairs ahead.”
“I have a feeling we don’t have good chemistry with sports competitions….”
With Ju Eun-chan’s gloomy final remark, we filed out one by one toward the photo zone.
As we appeared along the grandly decorated entrance that looked like an actual sports event, I could see with my own eyes the half-asleep reporters hastily raising their cameras in the early morning hour.
“Yes, from ‘This Isn’t a Carol’ to the recent ‘No Spring’! A team receiving praise for innovatively leading the new generation of male idols. This is Kairos! Since the group has a member with an athlete background, we’re really curious to see what kind of performance you’ll show us at the championship today!”
The unnecessarily grandiose introduction from the host embarrassed me.
As we stepped onto the photo zone, camera shutters erupted from the reporters while bright laughter rang out simultaneously.
Soon, the entertainment host, seeing our appearance, let out a giggling laugh and added a comment.
“Ah, the very embodiment of intense charisma, Kairos! Is today’s concept cute little chicks? That bright yellow team uniform is so adorable!”
Why, of all things.
Out of all the team uniforms available, we’d chosen a bright yellow chick.
Still, it was within what I’d anticipated. This much was nothing.
With a face of complete resignation and an enlightened smile, I gave a thumbs up and answered.
“…When you think of Kairos, you think of breathtakingly cute. Our core is definitely on the cutesy side.”
Riiiiip—
And in that same instant, an ominous sound erupted from Lee Do-ha beside me, who had been raising his arm and waving toward the camera.
“…?”
“…Ah.”
With a sinking feeling, I turned my head to find Lee Do-ha staring at his right shoulder with a bewildered expression, his arm still raised. The shoulder seam of his yellow athletic uniform—which had looked precarious from the start—had completely torn open, exposing his muscular forearm in all its glory.
Whatever bargain-basement supplier had provided these uniforms, the shoddy finishing along the torn seam was glaringly obvious at a glance.
Click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click—
‘…Listen to those shutters go.’
An absolutely deafening barrage of camera flashes and shutter sounds erupted.
The spectacular comeback of the Cute Gangster Yellow Team.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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