Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut - Chapter 280

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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280. What Matters (2)
The living room, which had been hosting a peaceful year-end stage strategy meeting, had transformed into something resembling a full-fledged interrogation chamber.
When I came to my senses, I found myself kneeling in the middle of the living room like some boyfriend who’d been caught making out with a wealthy family’s youngest daughter in their front yard.
The members, scattered across the living room sofa in various poses, stared down at me with piercing gazes.
‘Is this right?’
Did I just throw away the leader’s power and authority like they were nothing?
More importantly, why did I have to slip into this guilty mode?
Convinced I’d done nothing wrong, I lifted my head and defended myself.
“I mean, we debuted, so it’s natural to keep an eye on rival teams, right…!”
At that, Seo Tae-hyun, who was leaning back against the sofa with his arms crossed and legs folded, raised one eyebrow.
“So from your perspective, they’re better than us?”
“When did I ever say that…?”
Why was I even speaking formally?
But faced with the meaningful gazes of six pairs of eyes, I couldn’t say anything more and lowered my head.
Then Lee Yu-gun, who had been observing the situation with the most detached attitude while clasping his hands behind his head, casually threw out a comment.
“Well, I mean, what he said isn’t wrong, is it? I heard Lanion’s been doing really well lately. They say in Yoo-rang’s class, almost everyone’s either a fan of ours or Lanion’s. It’s natural we’d be compared.”
So our Yu-gun finally paid off his financial therapy with that pork belly rice bowl.
I quickly nodded in agreement with Lee Yu-gun, who was taking my side, but then Ju Eun-chan, who had been sitting on the floor, chimed in.
“I don’t really care about other groups, but I don’t understand how you weren’t able to focus on our group’s stage because of that.”
“….”
“I haven’t known you for long, but I know you’re not usually this type of person. You’re the kind of guy who always thinks, ‘if this doesn’t work, then that,’ and if that doesn’t work, then something else entirely.”
At Ju Eun-chan’s words, I quietly closed my mouth.
It wasn’t that I had nothing to say—I just couldn’t easily put my own feelings into words.
There was the fear of falling behind Lanion, who was rising so fiercely, and there was also an unease about how what we were enjoying now were things Lanion had originally enjoyed. At the same time, the incredible results I’d achieved far faster and more urgently than I’d anticipated weighed heavily on me….
Unable to muster the courage to convey all these thoughts skillfully, I simply answered like this.
“I don’t know either. …It’s my first time being an idol.”
A brief silence fell over the living room.
As everyone searched for their own words, Lee Do-ha called out to me in a low voice.
“Ha-jin.”
“…?”
“Is being first what you want to do?”
Lee Do-ha’s eyes held genuine curiosity. I quietly avoided his gaze and shrugged.
“Well… if we’re going to do it anyway, isn’t it better to be first? Once I tried it, I got greedy.”
“Then, is the music you want to do as Ha-jin music that ranks first?”
“….”
“If that’s the goal of you, our group’s leader, then it has to be our goal too as members, so I’m asking.”
What’s he trying to say?
His intention was so clear that it became incomprehensible. I turned over Lee Do-ha’s words in my mind, and he calmly added his thoughts.
“You said it to me before. ‘Give us a song we can sing.'”
“….”
“Then I was wondering if the song you want is one that can rank first.”
Why did I want to be an idol in the first place?
At Lee Do-ha’s words, I recalled a resolution from long ago that I’d forgotten about for so long.
Just as I was briefly reflecting on my original intentions, Dan Ha-ru carefully added his voice.
“Hyung. Isn’t it fun performing on stage with us?”
“…What?”
“Because you don’t seem excited at all.”
Dan Ha-ru pouted his lips as if sulking. His face was filled with equal parts worry and hurt.
“During the end-of-month evaluation, during Miro Maze, when we debuted, and even now when we made ‘This Isn’t a Carol’—you always seemed excited. You had tons of ideas, suggesting we try this, try that, always full of opinions.”
“….”
“But now… you don’t seem that way.”
The cause of the headache that had been frustratingly tightening my head seemed to be coming into vague focus. Still, I quietly examined the emotions in my heart that remained unclear.
It was true… this was the first time I’d ever thought preparing for a stage performance was this headache-inducing.
“Then let’s do this.”
In place of me, who had been silent for a while, Jeong Si-u opened his mouth.
“For this year-end cover stage, Ha-jin, you’re out of the planning.”
“…Pardon?”
“This time, without you, we’ll decide on the song and concept among ourselves. With what we want to do.”
Out of the stage planning?
As I was taken aback by this somewhat extreme turn of events, Jeong Si-u continued firmly.
“Ha-jin, you’re doing too much right now. You’re overseeing all the LET US content for the kids, participating in all the other year-end stage preparations, and soon you’ll be getting into meetings about the next album concept.”
“But still….”
“The kids have experience with cover stages, so they can definitely handle it. Instead, whatever we decide, you just follow along unconditionally.”
Jeong Si-u had already made up his mind, and without even giving me a choice, he concluded that this was how it would be.
I wanted to object to something, but honestly, in my current state, I couldn’t get a grasp on how to plan any stage or what to do, so I had no choice but to nod.
“Forget about the cover stage for now and clear your head. Anyway, it’s your birthday today.”
“You made me kneel from midnight on my birthday night…?”
“Don’t you think you got off easy with just kneeling because it’s your birthday? If it wasn’t your birthday, I would’ve made you stand facing the wall with your hands up right now.”
There’s no point arguing. I’ll stay quiet.
I placed my hands respectfully back on my knees and straightened my posture, and my legs began to go numb.
Seo Tae-hyun noticed and stood up from the sofa, easing the tension.
“Well then, let’s go with that, and let’s call it a night. It’s getting late anyway.”
“The other members all agree with me too, right? We’re doing this cover stage just among ourselves?”
“I like it!”
“I think it’s fine too.”
“I don’t care either way, so tell that hyung to get up already. His leg’s going to cramp like that.”
“…It already has.”
In the end, I could barely get up from my seat only after being supported by Lee Yu-gun and Lee Do-ha.
Watching the others casually head back to their own rooms, there was still something vaguely unsettled in a corner of my heart. Unable to quite define the emotion, I cleared my throat awkwardly and entered the room I shared with Lee Do-ha.
“Ah, Ha-jin.”
“Huh?”
“This. Kwon Wook said to give it to you.”
I entered the room awkwardly alongside Lee Do-ha and flopped onto the bed, when he rummaged through his bag as if remembering something, then handed me a small transparent plastic box. Peering inside, I found it packed with blue sticky notes covered in writing.
“What is this?”
“Birthday congratulations messages. From the fans who wrote them during the Birthday Cafe today… or rather, yesterday.”
The fans wrote these themselves?
Rolling paper events like this were common enough, but since I hadn’t thought to expect it, I accepted the box with a slightly bewildered feeling. Then Lee Do-ha naturally turned off the room lights and moved the mood lamp that sat between our beds toward mine, speaking as he did.
“If you’re going to read them now, turn this on. I’m going to sleep first.”
“Oh? Yeah… thanks.”
“….”
“…?”
Even after finishing what he came to do, Lee Do-ha remained standing before me, gazing at me intently. For reference, I’d seen that expression once before—back during the Miro Maze days when he called me out for half-assing the part distribution.
‘Is this bastard trying to roast me again?’
Instinct carved into my bones made me raise my guard by lifting the box, and right on cue, Lee Do-ha opened his mouth.
“Are we included in your pride?”
“…? What are you suddenly talking about?”
“I hope we are.”
“….”
“So that you can believe in yourself a little more.”
Only then did I notice that Lee Do-ha’s gaze wasn’t fixed on me, but on the plastic box I was holding. More precisely, on the small text sticker attached to it.
【Pride Of You】
Your pride.
It was a phrase I’d thought of without hesitation the moment I decided to open the Birthday Cafe.
“I just… want my friend to have more confidence in himself.”
“….”
“If you can’t believe in yourself, then believe in us instead.”
Lee Do-ha smiled with rare warmth and patted my shoulder.
“That’s what being a team means.”
“…man.”
“Do you know why I quit sports and chose music?”
Lee Do-ha, who’d been spouting touching lines in the middle of the night, was now unfolding his past narrative.
I’m done for. I’m weak to this kind of thing.
“Sports have no process.”
“….”
“My effort, my practice… all of it matters, but ultimately if you don’t win the match, you lose.”
Lee Do-ha slowly shifted and sat on the edge of his own bed.
“Of course people say the process matters too, that results only come because of that process… but in the end, a loss is still a loss.”
As if to show he’d been an athlete for a long time, he always maintained an upright, straight posture even when sitting like this. Lee Do-ha touched the calluses embedded in his palm and continued.
“But music wasn’t like that, and I liked it.”
“…Why? Music has results too. Rookie awards, grand prizes, first place, number one.”
“That’s a reward. Not a win or loss.”
“….”
“Just because you didn’t get that reward doesn’t mean the song lost, does it?”
I cared about the results.
No, actually—I don’t think that was always the case. But now that I think about it, somewhere along the way, I started believing that.
I wanted to win the Rookie Award for Dan Ha-ru, prove to my parents that I was capable, earn recognition from people, and make more money.
But if you asked me whether that was the reason I became an idol…
‘I don’t think it was.’
Lee Do-ha seemed to sense that my thoughts were settling into place, so he didn’t add anything more and lay down on the bed. Seeing him even find his eye mask—the one he always hung by the bed—and put it on, it seemed he was being considerate so I could read my fans’ messages without being disturbed.
-If it’s hard to believe in yourself, then believe in us instead.
Was I still doubting myself?
Even with these results in my hands, could I still not believe I deserved them?
Though countless question marks still floated around inside me like balloons, I stopped thinking and quietly opened the box. It was filled with one hundred birthday congratulation messages from the hundred fans I’d met today.
【Happy birthday, Ha-jin♥ I hope the biggest worry in your life from now on is just things like ‘what should I eat for lunch today?’.】
【My pride, Kang Ha-jin, happy birthday!!! I’ve been healing myself by listening to Kairos songs every single day lately! Thank you for debuting :)】
【Why are we getting a gift on your birthdayㅠㅠㅠㅠThis surprise craftsman, Kang HathiㅠㅠㅠㅠI hope you continue to be healthy and active for a long timeㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ】
….
“…Geez, seriously.”
They say if you keep doing this, you’ll develop bad habits.
Faced with support so overwhelming it felt like even if I dug a tunnel to escape, they’d scoop me up with a excavator and throw me onto the rooftop of a skyscraper, I had no choice but to read and reread those messages all through the night.
* * *
But a few days later.
I couldn’t shake the feeling of being swindled when I saw the hopeful group project results from the members who’d told me to just trust them.
“…Is this real?”
“We’re serious.”
I was really…
Really moved…
“What… what are you planning to do?”
I’d even shed a few tears last night over that cool advice to just trust them, and I’d done some serious self-reflection…
As I blinked in disbelief and asked again, Seo Tae-hyun grinned triumphantly and cheerfully explained our cover song concept one more time.
“We decided to do a cute and innocent girl group song for this stage.”
What kind of insanity is this—bringing the Italian mafia to play house with Pororo, you absolute lunatics…!?

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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