Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut - Chapter 277

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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277. It’s My Birthday Party, So I Came.
I’m Kang Ha-jin.
Day N of cafe startup preparations.
Current thoughts?
‘Should I just close it down?’
No matter how much Destiny loves me, I doubt they’d tolerate this coffee.
Since I’m the type who can’t sleep at night after drinking coffee, I hadn’t even properly tasted it—just took one tiny sip—yet the thought ‘this isn’t it’ was already forming. It was clear I had zero talent for this.
“Alright, alright everyone. Please congratulate me.”
“…?”
“I’ve finally found something I can’t do. Turns out I have no aptitude for coffee.”
When I walked into the dormitory living room and declared this confidently, the members gathered around the TV dismissed my words with expressions that suggested they weren’t even surprised anymore.
I almost felt a little hurt by their reaction, but I held strong. Truth was, I’d been doing the same thing for over five days now, so both they and I had grown numb to it.
‘The path of self-employment really isn’t easy.’
A single cafe drink I’d casually buy every day turned out to be this precious and expensive.
While I was adding respect to every cafe employee in the world, Lee Yu-gun, who’d been cleaning up the disaster zone of a kitchen, untied his apron and flopped down in front of the living room table with a heavy sigh.
Lee Yu-gun, who’d become my coffee-making practice partner solely because he was the only member with cafe work experience, pressed his temples firmly with tired eyes.
“Hyung, I don’t usually say things like this, but…”
“…?”
“Just close it down. Or at least hire a cafe employee now.”
“Ah, but then I’d lose all my cool factor.”
“Your cool factor already died the moment your coffee started tasting like poison.”
“How would you know? Have you ever drunk poison?”
“I haven’t drunk poison, but I have drunk your coffee, haven’t I? What you’re doing is a crime.”
This kid was really on a roll today with his comebacks. I had nothing to say.
I quickly acknowledged my defeat and nodded.
“Yeah, I know. I’m giving up on coffee.”
“If you’re not selling coffee at the cafe, what are you going to sell?”
“I’ve been thinking about it, right? This is my birthday party anyway, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“And I can’t drink coffee, right?”
“That’s right.”
“So why would I need to sell coffee at my own birthday cafe that I’m hosting?”
“…So what?”
“Our cafe has no coffee. We’re going with a romance novel tea house concept.”
Half-baked Lee Yu-gun made an expression like ‘what the hell is that, you weirdo’ for about three seconds before returning to a blank stare. Thinking about it, he’d probably concluded that whether I opened a romance novel tea house or an otherworldly tavern had nothing to do with him.
Ha. But he’s got no idea what’s coming.
I grabbed Lee Yu-gun’s shoulder with a reassuring smile.
“You understand what I’m saying, right? Daily cafe employee?”
“…What?”
“Count on me, daily cafe employee.”
“Me? You mean me? Why!?”
“I’ll count your birthday gift as your daily wage, Cafe Employee.”
Yu Gun. From the moment you stamped that contract, you’ve been sailing in the same boat as me.
Lee Yu-gun’s expression upon encountering an exploitative employer and falling victim to a fraudulent contract was truly a sight to behold.
* * *
The problematic cafe in question would operate for just one day—November 29th, the day before Ha-jin’s birthday on November 30th.
From 11 AM to 3:30 PM, with thirty-minute sessions, and a lunch break from 1 to 2 PM, it would run exactly seven time slots.
So in truth, Professor Task harbored some suspicion.
‘Could this possibly be something the kids are doing…?’
The fact that it was a birthday cafe yet required an album as entry material was suspicious enough, and the way they confirmed membership status and official fan club enrollment during reservation checks was equally odd. The mention that late arrivals might have difficulty entering also seemed questionable.
Beyond that, the complete lack of information about what lucky draw items were available, which skilled craftsperson was collaborating, and what activities would happen inside the cafe made it all seem deeply suspicious.
‘And besides, the announcement tone… it’s far too familiar!’
Word had somehow spread among Destiny members about this mysterious cafe, and when I checked the reservation site recently, all time slots appeared to be fully booked. However, from what people were saying on the forums, most seemed to think it was simply an unusually elaborate concept from some particular fan-made birthday cafe production team.
‘Have I been watching too many dramas?’
Ever since hearing that Soda’s older sister had become a devoted fan after following Yupia to their concert last time, my mind kept filling with happy fantasies. If I’d booked an afternoon slot, I might have caught some spoilers beforehand, but unfortunately I’d hastily grabbed the earliest morning time slot instead.
After walking while lost in thought for quite some time, I arrived at the problematic cafe, situated slightly away from the heart of Hongdae.
The cafe, which appeared to have been created by renovating a house built with red brick, had large glass windows on the first floor. The birthday cafe posters plastered across those windows and the birthday banner at the entrance made its presence unmistakably clear.
“Hello. May I have the name of the person with the reservation?”
“Ah, it’s Kim Ye-jin.”
“Yes. Let me just confirm our reservation email and your album.”
After undergoing simple identity verification from the staff at the cafe entrance, I received a welcome kit in a beige shopping bag. I decided to enter the cafe first and open it inside.
Though I thought I’d arrived early, there were already people inside exploring the cafe.
‘It’s pretty ordinary.’
The all-white, cleanly remodeled cafe wasn’t significantly different from any other birthday cafe. In one corner where all the tables and chairs had been removed and curtains drawn to create a slightly dimmed atmosphere, a projector was displaying Ha-jin’s stage footage. It wasn’t a fancam—just a compilation of various stages from over the years.
The second floor was blocked off, and in front of it was a photo zone set up. Watching the early arrivals take photos holding Ha-jin’s photo cards at the photo zone, I found an empty spot and set down my belongings.
‘There’s nothing special here—why did they make such a big secret out of it?’
At the counter, there wasn’t a single tall male staff member; only a few female staff members similar to those I’d seen at the entrance were announcing that orders would be taken shortly.
I pulled out my phone while scanning the high-resolution photo frames and other decorations scattered throughout the cafe.
【Where are you guys?】
I sent the message to a group chat where Kang Ha-di, Kang Dae-jang, and Yoon Jae-hee, Soda’s older sister, were gathered together. After this was over, I’d planned to meet up with them and enjoy a birthday cafe tour. Among them was a cafe directly operated by Kang Ha-di, who had established herself as Ha-jin’s most prominent supporter.
【Ha-di unnie: I’m preparing the cafe right now lol】
【Ha-di unnie: Did you go to that super secret cafe?】
【Yeah lol but it’s just pretty ordinary here?】
【Nothing special but it’s decorated nicely】
【Dae-jang unnie: Mu-cheon and I are meeting up now and heading past Hongdae!】
【Dae-jang unnie: They said the kids’ albums came in at the Yeongdeungpo Hot Tracks so we’re opening a few lol】
【Dae-jang unnie: (photo)】
【Dae-jang unnie: So we’ll head straight to Ha-di’s cafe】
Mu-cheon was Yoon Jae-hee’s nickname, short for “Undefeated Angel.” It was a nickname she’d been using frequently even before she became a fan of Ha-jin and Kairos, and I still vividly remembered her emotional explanation about how it had finally found its true owner.
As I checked the album haul photos that Dae-jang had sent, I suddenly remembered the welcome kit I’d received earlier.
‘Since I haven’t ordered yet anyway, and I can take my time looking around, why don’t I check this out first?’
As I pulled items from the shopping bag I’d received earlier, I noticed the Staff Members closing the door and drawing the curtains over the glass windows—apparently the first time slot’s customers had all finished entering. Though the sunlight was blocked out, the interior lighting was bright enough that I didn’t mind as I examined the contents of the welcome kit.
Inside the small shopping bag—roughly half the size of an A4 sheet—were quite a few merchandise items.
After placing an acrylic keyring featuring an adorable Doberman character, a small hand mirror, a blue ballpoint pen engraved with “Pride Of You,” and an elegantly designed birthday party invitation on the table, I felt something was off.
‘…This is the basic bonus? And I didn’t even order a drink? They’re just giving me this? Just like that? They’re really just giving it?’
Usually when they say “basic bonus,” they just hand out paper cups with cheap popcorn at most, right? They didn’t even take a deposit, yet they’re giving out welcome kits like this? Are the organizers digging holes to run their business? Why? Did these guys win the lottery?
My eye twitched from the confusion.
The bigger shock came next.
There was still something left in the shopping bag!
“Ah. Photo cards, photo….”
I hurriedly unfolded what I estimated to be the cheapest item among these—the cheap popcorn photo pack.
And I was taken aback.
“…?”
The four-cut photo of Ha-jin with shoulder-length black hair, wearing a black short-sleeved shirt and dark navy casual suit set in a free-spirited pose, and the selfie photocard of Ha-jin with unstyled red hair in a school uniform—those were fine.
But the moment I saw the Polaroid that was clearly taken in the waiting room after the chaos with the cake when we achieved first place for the first time (a group photo had been posted on the official account that day), and Ha-jin’s childhood photograph that had never been released anywhere else.
I could feel my hands trembling.
“Insane, this is absolutely insane…. No, insane….”
Just as I, newly realizing that people’s vocabulary drastically deteriorates when shocked, was about to rush and dump this amazing discovery into the group chat, something happened.
Suddenly, an enormous commotion and screams filled the cafe.
I slowly lifted my head. The counter, which had only female Staff Members moments ago, now had two people towering over the counter wall, greeting everyone inside with bright smiles.
“Hi, Destiny.”
“Hello.”
It was Ha-jin and Yu Gun—dressed in white shirts, black slacks, and black aprons tied at their waists.
‘Am I dreaming right now?’
The vision was too vivid to be a dream. I forgot about contacting the group chat and immediately turned on my camera. It looked like other people were filming too.
Ha-jin, smiling sheepishly at the reaction, lightly placed his hands on his waist and spoke.
“I heard you were all having my birthday party without me, so I just came myself.”
“…I was dragged here.”
I could see Ha-jin pointedly poking Yu Gun’s side as he spoke so nonchalantly.
In the past, I might have thought Yu Gun’s tone was insincere or presumptuous, but now all of Destiny knew that despite speaking like that, Yu Gun would throw his full effort and passion into today’s event.
Seeing quiet laughter break out among Destiny, Ha-jin draped his arm around Yu Gun’s shoulder in an overly friendly manner while making a “secret” gesture with his other hand.
“Everyone. Feel free to take as many photos as you want today and enjoy yourselves, but in return, could you please keep it secret that we’re here until 4 PM this afternoon? If too many people show up, we’ll have to close early, seriously.”
At those words, several people’s fingers that had been frantically operating their phones visibly stopped moving. I noticed Staff Members warning a few people, and it seemed to be for this exact reason.
I also quickly deleted the message I was about to post in the group chat (something like “omg they’re here”).
‘Sorry, sisters. But you would’ve done the same if you were me.’
I’ll spill all the details when I see you later…. Just forgive me for six hours….
Sending unspoken telepathy, I turned the camera app back on, determined not to miss a single moment of Ha-jin, whom I trusted more than Professor Task. Then, as if preparing to start business, Ha-jin came out in front of the counter and spoke while resting his hand on the unusually low register.
“Alright, please come one table at a time to place your orders. By the way, coffee is only available when Yu Gun is here. This time slot is the only one today where you can have coffee, so please keep that in mind. Orders are strictly one beverage and one snack set each. Also….”
What else was there to mention?
I saw Yu Gun whisper something in Ha-jin’s ear as he rolled his eyes. After hearing it, Ha-jin nodded with a small “ah” and spoke in that smooth, charming voice I adored so much.
“And it’s all on the house. My treat.”
Ha-jin clicked his tongue with a sharp sound and winked, causing Yu Gun to squeeze his eyes shut while Destiny screamed. Professor Task also discreetly tapped the table with careful restraint.
‘Mom. My boy is buying me dinner and coffee!’
It was truly the first reverse sponsorship from his favorite artist!

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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