Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut - Chapter 262

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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262. Daily Life Part. Probably. (5)
Overnight, articles flooded in with epithets like “Cinderella of the Entertainment World” and “Rising Male Star Like a Comet,” but my daily life remained unchanged.
I continued my ordinary routine—running music show schedules, preparing for year-end performances, practicing, and creating content.
Meanwhile, the song chart ranking for 【This Isn’t a Carol】 that the public had chosen climbed meaningfully day by day.
“Oh, 37th place.”
The music chart I checked while sprawled on Lee Do-ha’s studio sofa still bore the red upward triangle.
Since I’d already exhausted the exposure from 【Touch High】… it seemed less like new listeners were flowing in and more like the charted song was climbing through sustained replays—the consolidation phase.
‘Once the college entrance exam ends and the year-end atmosphere kicks in for real, if I play my cards right, I could ride the holiday wave properly….’
Maybe I’d shoot a simple performance video for 【This Isn’t a Carol】 around Christmas time.
While replying to accumulated messages amid these pleasant concerns, a strange message arrived from an unknown contact.
“Hey Ha-jin, where are you going? lol”
Who is this?
Since I’d been using the same phone for so long, even if someone’s contact changed, they often still had my number saved.
Moreover, thanks to my 【Touch High】 appearance, even people I rarely contacted were hitting me up with messages, so I replied without much thought.
【Who is this?】
The reply came back quickly.
“Me and you, dating lol”
Ah, a sasaeng fan.
The moment I read the reply, I could tell from the sheer audacity of it—I immediately hit the block button and exited the messenger. No matter how good my interpersonal skills were or how magnetic my personality, there was no acquaintance who would claim to be my girlfriend without even being added as a friend or introducing themselves first.
Maybe I should be grateful they revealed themselves sooner rather than later.
As I was seriously contemplating this, Lee Do-ha, who’d been working, spun his chair around and called to me.
“Something wrong?”
“Ah. My number got leaked, I think.”
“Your number?”
“Yeah. Got a text from a sasaeng fan.”
As I waved my phone, Lee Do-ha’s facial muscles tensed subtly and his brows drew together.
Perhaps because he had such a sharp-featured face, even just a slight serious expression carried an intimidating, oppressive presence. Of course, whatever was going on in that head of his was probably far softer than that aura suggested.
I casually tossed my phone onto the edge of the sofa and waved my hand dismissively.
“It’s fine. I’ll just change my number while I’m at it. I was already thinking about it anyway—everyone and their mother’s been contacting me.”
At my unbothered attitude, Lee Do-ha simply watched me for a moment, then nodded.
I opened the snack box kept in the studio and naturally shifted the topic.
“So anyway, why’d you call me over today? You didn’t just summon me because you were bored, right?”
“Ah. I finished an arrangement for the year-end performance. Listen to it.”
“What version?”
“Goldie’s.”
“That orchestra one? Okay.”
As I nodded and hugged the large bear plushie from the sofa, crushing it against myself, the magnificent orchestral version of 【Over the Night】 played through the studio’s incredible speakers.
Recalling the choreography structure that Yoo Gun and Seo Tae-hyun had worked out with our performance director, I closed my eyes and savored the song. I loved how it felt far more poignant and devastating than the original version.
“It’s good though, right? You coordinated all the explosive beats with Teacher Do, yeah?”
“Yeah. I worked with the guide they provided. Personally, I think it might be… a bit drawn out. What do you think, Ha-jin?”
“I get what you’re feeling, but I think that’s something Si-woo should handle with his vocals. What I’m more interested in is Tae-hyun’s part in the first verse. What if we strip away most of the instruments there, keep just a pad sound underneath, and let Seo Tae-hyun’s tone carry it? That’s the direction I’m thinking.”
“I was thinking the same thing, so I already made a version. Want to hear it?”
The conversation about the arrangement flowed on without pause.
Living in the same studio, I’d come to realize that Lee Do-ha and I shared surprisingly similar musical tastes.
Or rather, it was more accurate to say that Lee Do-ha trusted my ear and instincts far more than I’d expected.
Having once thrown myself earnestly into directing, it was genuinely gratifying to have someone this talented actually listen to my opinions.
“Then… should we just polish it up to that point and have everyone listen together? I think the other members probably have their own visions too.”
“Yeah. I’m aiming to wrap it up by tomorrow or the day after.”
After about thirty minutes of discussion wrapping up the arrangement direction, I squeezed the bear plush I’d been holding and asked Lee Do-ha playfully.
“But what’s with this dopey bear? Do you get lonely working here alone?”
“A fan gave it to me.”
“It’s just so cute, seriously. Look at that fluffy fur. Honestly, when work isn’t flowing, just holding this thing like this and suddenly inspiration comes back. Wow~ out of every living and non-living thing in this place, this is the cutest, prettiest, most lovable….”
After my unexpected barrage of affection, I carefully set the bear plush down on the sofa beside me and patted away the wrinkles I’d created.
These moments definitely called for a quick subject change.
“Oh, Do-ha. And, um, that thing. What we’re doing for year-end. QBS wants us to do a senior idol cover song, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be Upia’s?”
“Senior artists?”
“Yeah. What was the song? Oh, that… the one where… you know, back when Tae-il had that blonde wolf cut….”
“Coup d’État? Upia’s second album title track. That’s probably it since it was their first number one on QBS.”
“…You’re just as obsessed as I am.”
That devoted Idea guy….
I stared blankly at Lee Do-ha’s Upia merchandise collection decorating one corner of the studio and let out a hollow laugh. No matter how I thought about it, the most successful fan I knew was definitely this guy.
“Anyway, unless something changes, we’ll probably end up performing that song, but doing it exactly like the original might be risky this time.”
“That makes sense. The performance purpose is completely different from last time.”
“But I’m not sure how to approach rearranging that song. Those seniors really dominated it.”
“Hmm… I’ll think about it too. There’s no rush on the deadline, right?”
“Nope. They’re still discussing it overall with the broadcast station. Once it’s confirmed, let’s talk it over with the members again.”
After covering all the important matters, idle chatter took over.
Toasts to the success of “This Isn’t a Carol,” behind-the-scenes stories about “Touch High”—I just lay back on the sofa and laughed along with everything.
Then at some point, the conversation naturally died down.
Lee Do-ha took a sip of the iced Americano I’d brought and stared at me intently.
Then, just like some other time, he suddenly threw out a question.
“Ha-jin.”
“What.”
“You can write songs, right?”
“….”
At Lee Do-ha’s question, what came to mind was a very old, worn sheet of music.
Back when I was full of myself about becoming a singer, after relearning practical music piano, I’d created my first song by myself, fumbling around on the keyboard.
“…Anyone can write a song. Even four-year-olds hum melodies.”
“Have you ever thought about doing proper composition?”
“Are you asking a leading question? Why won’t you listen to my answer and just say what you want to say?”
“I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I’ll help with the production. I just hope you write a proper song. You.”
Lee Do-ha meant every word.
Of course he did. That guy never had a moment where he wasn’t sincere.
I remained sprawled on the sofa, staring up at the dark ceiling of the studio. Large and small words tumbled around inside my tightly closed mouth.
So many words had painted every timeline of my existence.
“…I don’t know.”
“….”
“I’m still uncertain. It’s not like I studied it professionally.”
“….”
“Still, I’ll think about it. Thank you.”
Sincerity lived in that faint smile.
Because it would be a lie if I didn’t harbor the wish to someday create a song I truly wanted to sing.
But not yet.
Still, even now, I….
“…Yeah. Just tell me whenever you want to start trying.”
“Mm. Thanks, really.”
This hesitation and fear that even I couldn’t resolve now felt only shameful.
* * *
Where did this endless distrust begin?
Tracing back, it started long ago.
-Ha-jin seems like he could do better, but he’s always just short of that final touch.
It was something like a chain that had bound me over a very long time.
-Kang Ha-jin. Go to the very back row.
It was when I happened to join the Municipal Children’s Choir, which had considerable scale.
Before that, I had always played leading roles in small theater groups, or roles where I could shine even without being the lead. Becoming a choir member relegated to the very back row—not even a soloist—was quite a shocking event at the time.
-Again. That’s not it.
I was a rather slow learner.
The moment I was called out as a representative from among roughly a hundred choir members and stood before them relearning diaphragmatic breathing remains vivid in my memory.
For someone who had never held the position of “the kid who can’t do it,” it was deeply humiliating, and I eventually quit the choir.
【Chaoeum Youth Municipal Choir Wins Grand Prize at World Youth Choir Competition】
But what truly scarred my heart wasn’t the fact that I quit the choir—it was that nothing changed in the choir after I left.
Rather, the choir began its full-fledged activities only after I quit, and it flourished more with each passing day. Eventually, new choir members didn’t even know I had been part of that group.
-This competition, Han Seok-hee and Yoon Jae-hyung are going, so just know that~
-Oh~ Han Seok-hee, Yoon Jae-hyung~
-But those two seem like they’d go. They really sing amazingly.
Opportunities always passed me by.
I appealed quite a lot and had confidence, but for some reason, I was often not even mentioned.
Similar things repeated at KD Entertainment, my first company.
My performance wasn’t poor, but there was always someone better than me in that position.
In studying, running, personality, singing, dancing—even in trivial things like drawing or gaming.
Being “decent at everything” was ultimately no different from saying “mediocre across the board.”
My consolation that I simply hadn’t shone yet because there was no one to recognize me, no circumstances, no world for it—had gradually transformed into excuses and rationalizations.
I, Kang Ha-jin, was a man shaped by years of fearing to confirm my own potential.
A heart that craved recognition for a lifetime, endlessly doubted itself, and feared becoming nothing—had grown over such a long, protracted span of time.
Gnawing away at a corner of my soul.
Looking back now, I was far younger and clumsier then, and I didn’t understand my own strengths and weaknesses well.
Just as I’d been ostracized at KD Entertainment, there was certainly immaturity in me back then, and I knew intellectually that it made no sense to deny my present self simply because my past self went unrecognized.
I understood well that everyone has a season, a place, and a moment when their talent and ability bloom, and that no one knows when that will come in their life—and yet….
‘How far can I go?’
Is this result I’ve created now luck, or skill?
If it’s skill, how long can this success sustain itself?
On a bigger stage, in a bigger world, how much of a person am I capable of being?
The bad habit of not savoring the success I’d achieved wasn’t easily broken.
And perhaps.
【’Rene Rookie’ Lanion, First Album Pre-orders Surpass 400,000 Copies…Emergence of Major New Artist Predicted】
The Voice seemed intent on posing the same question to me once more.
Having spent a lifetime running from that question, it hoped I would find the answer this time.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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