Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut - Chapter 254

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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254. Touch High! (6)
Faced with the self-proclaimed destroyer’s brazen attitude, the Team Leader blinked blankly, and I added further explanation.
“Do-ha here already tried punching numbers into a calculator earlier and self-destructed, sir. It’s more profitable to deliberately secure last place and get voted for than to accidentally land second place after one success.”
If our team had luckily placed second in the previous situation, Do-ha and I would each receive 6 badges.
In that process, if Do-ha received votes for any reason and had 3 deducted, his final count would be 3.
But if we made our team place last?
“If our team comes in last, he gets 9, so even with 3 deducted, that’s 6. He chose a guaranteed 6 over a possible 3.”
“You, you…! And here I thought you talked about integrity…!”
It was a loophole in the rules, but who would’ve expected someone to reveal their identity on a variety show and deliberately tank to last place?
When another regular panelist teammate pointed at Do-ha with a betrayed expression, Do-ha simply shrugged his shoulders with composure.
“A spy pursues only profit.”
“Sister, these guys are seriously weird. They all have a bit of a crazy look in their eyes.”
“Kairos really are scary people, honestly…”
At that moment, I felt oddly wronged.
“No, sir. Why am I…? I’m actually a good person?”
“A virtuous jinx developer… that’s even scarier.”
“Huh↗? No, that’s not… that’s an unfair thing to say about a listening jinx developer…”
The Team Leader and the other regular panelist gave their all with reactions, working hard to create broadcast-worthy content.
I didn’t need to look to know that every cast member and production staff member’s attention was focused on our drama.
We’d drawn enough aggro, and the drama had played out just right.
Now the important thing was how to handle the destroyer, Do-ha.
I quietly scanned the opposing team’s capabilities once more, then made a proposal to our team, who were still deliberating.
“How about we take a gamble?”
“A gamble?”
“Let’s abandon Do-ha.”
At my words, Do-ha’s left eyebrow twitched.
I persuaded my teammates with more seriousness than ever before.
“Honestly, if we send Do-ha out in his current state, it’s a minus. He doesn’t even want to win right now, does he? Just look at those crazed eyes.”
“That’s true, but… can we really place first without Do-ha? Wouldn’t it be better to think about some kind of deal to propose to him instead?”
“Just trust me once. We only need to win 5 times total anyway, right? Multiple entries are fine too?”
“That’s right.”
“He and I will go out and win every single one.”
I spoke with confidence and firmly grasped the shoulder of the one who would be the trump card in this gamble.
“…Me?”
It was Dan Ha-ru, our baby rabbit warrior who had been listening intently to my words.
* * *
“Alright then, let’s begin the competition~!”
With the Main PD’s announcement, the air inside the Filming Studio grew heavy with tension.
Dan Ha-ru, wearing a marshmallow-like tube connected by elastic cord to his body, stood awkwardly in position waiting for the signal.
“Hey, Ha-jin. Are you really sure about this? No matter how I look at it, Ha-ru doesn’t seem like the type to exert strength.”
The Team Leader, reluctantly following my lead, still wore a worried expression as he questioned me. Lee Do-ha, standing beside me, seemed equally curious about what I was thinking.
I surveyed the opposing team’s members while draping an arm across Lee Do-ha’s shoulder.
“I told you, it’s a gamble. If Dan Ha-ru can’t win, we have virtually no chance of victory. Lee Do-ha here has no intention of exerting himself, and there’s no way I can win five consecutive rounds alone.”
No matter how I thought about it, the Production Team had failed their balance patch.
When someone received the Destroyer vote, the penalty should have been around –5 to make them cautious, but since it became a wash either way, that’s how someone like Lee Do-ha ends up breaking the game.
‘Or is there some other rule I’m missing?’
While I was pondering, a whistle signaling the start of the match sounded.
Sanchez from Storm Header, one of the leader members from Winter Tail, and Dan Ha-ru—all three burst forward simultaneously. The balance of power among the three was remarkably well-matched.
“Still, I think I would’ve been better insurance than Dan Ha-ru. Or maybe the Team Leader instead.”
At that, I shook my head firmly and gestured with my chin for him to just watch.
In the arena, Dan Ha-ru, who had been maintaining balance, tilted his head once, then lowered his body forward with his mouth wide open.
“Do-ha.”
“Yeah?”
“Why do you think our youngest members are always causing trouble?”
Dan Ha-ru suddenly straightened his body with force and retreated backward.
The precarious balance collapsed, and the other two stumbled, losing their footing.
In that moment, Dan Ha-ru secured enough distance for a running start, gripped the tube tightly, and sprinted toward the flag with all his might.
I sensed our first victory and patted Lee Do-ha’s back enthusiastically.
“The guy’s just overflowing with strength.”
“….”
“The curtain rod and frying pan handle at Eun-chan’s place—Dan Ha-ru broke those.”
“….”
“And the other day he snapped one of the dining table legs while folding it. Oh, and he also ripped off the shoe cabinet door at the entrance.”
“….”
Piiiiiiik―!!!
Right then, a whistle sounded to signal the end of the match.
On the soft mat, Dan Ha-ru waved the flag in his hand and shouted cheerfully.
“Hyungs! I won!!! How did I win!?”
“Look at him—he doesn’t even realize his own strength. That’s why he keeps breaking things.”
“….”
Lee Do-ha, having just discovered the identity of the culprit who’d been destroying the household furnishings, fell silent with a shocked expression.
I beamed with pride, embraced the rushing Dan Ha-ru, patted his back enthusiastically, then sent him back into the ring.
“Alright, Dan Ha-ru. Just win two more times like that. I’ll handle the rest.”
“Yes! I think I can do it. He’s not as heavy as Eun-chan hyung.”
“Win two more times and we’re having samgyeopsal for dinner tonight.”
“Yes! You’re grilling it for us?”
“No? I’m going to ask Lee Yu-gun to grill it.”
“Wow. Lee Yu-gun really knows how to grill samgyeopsal.”
Dan Ha-ru, laughing with a literal “hehe,” bounded back onto the ring with a spring in his step.
No matter how I thought about it, those guys on the other side must have definitely botched the balance patch.
‘They poured every protagonist setting imaginable into the child to make them happy, so the kid grew up without knowing fear in this world.’
At least among those settings was ‘superhuman strength,’ so I suppose I should be grateful for that.
I watched Dan Ha-ru fit the tube around his body and take his position, then nudged Lee Do-ha, who remained lost in thought beside me.
“Hey, Destroyer.”
“Hm?”
“What are you going to do now?”
Beep―!
The second match had begun.
Seeing Dan Ha-ru looking relaxed again, I flashed a smile that would suit a villain and spoke to Lee Do-ha.
“If our team takes first and you get filmed, you’re guaranteed zero points, right?”
At that, Lee Do-ha gave a small laugh and nodded.
“…Yeah. We’re in trouble.”
The guy saying they were in trouble didn’t look troubled at all.
Even though Kairos’s member handling their physical prowess hadn’t competed, the center of attention at the filming studio had already shifted entirely to Team Kairos.
The production crew, the opposing team—everyone was curious to see how far this delicate-looking Dan Ha-ru would dominate.
Without even needing to see the edited version, I could already tell that this episode’s main storyline would revolve around Team Kairos.
‘If Kairos doesn’t go viral when this broadcast airs, I’ll eat my words.’
Beep―!
“Team Kairos, victory!”
“Waaaaaaah! Ha-ru!!!”
“Wait, what exactly does Kairos do?”
The goal I’d decided on before entering the filming studio seemed to be already half-accomplished.
* * *
The filming proceeded rapidly without delay.
In the first theme, ‘Athletic Games,’ our team ultimately earned points.
Dan Ha-ru won four consecutive bull-wrestling matches and then displayed outstanding performance in the chicken fight that followed.
Since he’d had so much fun today, I figured he’d probably collapse into deep sleep once we got back to the Dormitory.
‘Seo Tae-hyun must be having it easy.’
The second theme was ‘Wisdom’—a typical quiz game.
However, since all team members had to write their answers one character at a time in order, this time we genuinely needed the cooperation of Lee Do-ha, our true Destroyer.
-I’ll make the sacrifice.
It was the comedian who served as our team’s Team Leader who stepped forward.
-Do-ha, if you cooperate in this match, I’ll definitely take all the remaining Destroyer votes myself.
-What? No, hyung, you don’t have to do that….
-No, I have to do this. I’m going to make you guys the champions today and take the penalty.
-Father-in-law…!
-That’s not it yet, you bastard!
In response to the Team Leader’s conviction that he had to make us champions for his daughter Jiyu’s sake, Dan Ha-ru and I earnestly acted out tears of emotion.
And we appealed to Lee Do-ha, who was still hesitating, with tears(?) in our eyes.
-Do-ha. Are you really thinking about it right now? Jiyu from Destiny is probably watching this broadcast right now, isn’t she?
-….
-For the honor of Jiyu and Destiny, shouldn’t my fighting spirit be ablaze to win this three-way championship!?
Lee Do-ha, knocked out by the cheat code that is Destiny, eventually accepted our proposal, and our team recorded a final second place in the intelligence mission.
Since each team’s points accumulate the same way as individual badges, the team battle results so far were as follows.
【Kairos Team: Round 1-9 points / Round 2-6 points / Total 15 points】
【Storm Header Team: Round 1-3 points / Round 2-9 points / Total 12 points】
【Winter Tail Team: Round 1-6 points / Round 2-3 points / Total 9 points】
We were currently in the lead, but depending on the results of the next match, the outcome could be decided or all teams could end up tied.
The third theme, which would likely be today’s final mission, was “strategy.”
There was a complex rules explanation, but simplified, it was a flag-capture game.
“Each team will take turns being ‘it’ for 10 minutes and must steal the opposing team’s flags. During this time, the teams that aren’t ‘it’ can protect their own flag and search for items that help with the mission.”
Ultimately, it was a game where we had to protect our team’s flag while capturing all 10 flags from the other teams to win.
However, the rules didn’t end there.
“Now, Destroyers, regardless of your team’s victory, you’ll be able to perform a secret mission to earn individual badges. Your team’s future will be determined by this choice, so please proceed with careful judgment.”
The moment the word “Destroyer” was mentioned, everyone’s eyes snapped toward Lee Do-ha in unison.
Lee Do-ha listened to the explanation with an unreadable expression.
“Then we’ll now begin the strategy tag game.”
I mentally sketched out countless scenarios while equipping the flag holder that resembled a quiver.
‘Alright. Now, how should I spin this narrative to fill the runtime?’
It wasn’t until shortly after that I realized this worry was the most useless concern in the world.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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