Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut - Chapter 236
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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236. When a Workaholic Leader Seizes Power (5)
Jeong Si-u followed me far more willingly than I’d expected.
Or rather, to be honest, he even seemed to be enjoying this late-night stroll.
“….”
“….”
“…The night air is nice, isn’t it?”
“Huh? Oh, ah… Yes, it is. A bit chilly, though.”
Unlike our last walk, where I’d nervously rambled from A to Z about myself to overcome the awkwardness, today I was wound up to maximum tension, deliberating on how to broach the subject most naturally.
Whether Jeong Si-u knew about my anxious heart or not—though there was a 100% chance he knew but was pretending not to—
he simply hummed softly beside me and quietly enjoyed the night stroll.
The moment we arrived at the Convenience Store, I grabbed every late-night snack available to keep Jeong Si-u there as long as possible. As I neatly piled three cups of instant ramen, smoked eggs, hot dogs, triangular kimbap, salad, and more onto the counter, Jeong Si-u handed his card to the Cafe Employee along with a pack of canned beer, completing the payment for everything.
“Oh, hyung. I’ll pay for it. I have money.”
“No. You came out without your ID anyway, so you can’t buy alcohol.”
“….”
“I just want to have a light drink while watching you eat.”
Jeong Si-u smiled faintly and gestured for me to bring the items, then grabbed only the canned beer and headed straight outside.
I felt a bit guilty about emptying Jeong Si-u’s wallet, but keeping him around as long as possible was more important. I grabbed the cup ramen filled with hot water and the kimbap I’d microwaved, then followed him out. Jeong Si-u was already sitting under the parasol in front of the Convenience Store, sipping from his first can.
“…Then I’ll gratefully enjoy this, hyung.”
“Yeah. Eat slowly. I’ll pace my drinking to match your eating speed.”
“…Are you planning to drink all of that?”
“Who knows? Well, as much as it takes?”
Jeong Si-u shrugged habitually and leaned back comfortably in his chair. Since it felt awkward to jump straight into the main topic right after sitting down, I busied myself stirring the cup ramen with string cheese and hot dog, deliberately searching for small talk.
“Hyung, what are you doing for LET US this time?”
“I was torn between the jazz piece I prepared for school entrance exams and the ballad I sang when joining the Company, but I decided to go with the ballad. I saw it mentioned a lot in the comments.”
“Was it that one, Autumn Love?”
“Yeah. You remember?”
Jeong Si-u laughed with a hint of surprise and quickly finished another can of beer.
We talked about various topics in a scattered, rambling way. Despite the conversation wandering without direction, Jeong Si-u maintained an engaged attitude throughout, showing no sign of boredom.
Jeong Si-u, who’d been snacking on honey twisted donuts and a few bags of corn snacks, cracked open a fresh can of beer. Sensing the mood was right, I set down my chopsticks and began timing my moment.
It was crucial to speak as naturally as possible, as if I’d just randomly thought of something.
“Oh, but hyung. Now that I think about it, there’s something I wanted to tell you.”
“Yeah. What is it? Go ahead.”
Seeing Jeong Si-u nod lightly, I felt nervous again for some reason. I just tapped my fingers on the drink sitting on the table before awkwardly beginning.
“Well… No, it’s really nothing major… I’m just asking, but, um. Really, just, for the members’ condition management….”
“Hmm, why are you dragging it out like that?”
“Well, um… I was wondering if maybe you haven’t been sleeping well lately….”
The soft curve of Jeong Si-u’s lips subtly hardened into a straight line.
He stopped mid-sip of his beer and set the can down on the table with an audible clink. I sat up straight before him and hastily added what wasn’t quite an excuse.
“No, well. I’m sure you’re handling things well on your own, but honestly, I know you’re already doing great. It’s just that since I’m pushing for a rookie award, I may have planned things a bit too ambitiously… So, just in case—just in case! If that’s become a burden and that’s why you can’t sleep, we could consult with the Company again… I was wondering if there might be some way we could help….”
I was so tense I couldn’t even understand why I was doing this, desperately trying not to hurt Jeong Si-u’s feelings. He watched me quietly for a moment, then nodded as if something had clicked, and spoke.
“…Tae-hyun?”
“Huh? No, I mean, it’s not like he did anything wrong or anything. I just thought that if my hyung was really just too busy—,”
“Ha-jin.”
“…Yes?”
“Would it be so wrong if I handled that matter myself?”
Jeong Si-u drew a clear line, his refusal unmistakable.
In that moment, I felt as though I were witnessing an illusion—a white line being drawn between us as we sat facing each other. Perhaps because the night streets were unusually quiet, my heartbeat sounded unnaturally loud in my ears.
“I spent a long time living alone, so sharing space with someone still feels a bit uncomfortable. That’s why I’ve had some sleepless nights here and there. It seems Tae-hyun misunderstood what he saw.”
…It was a lie.
No matter how much I’d averted my gaze instinctively, intimidated by Jeong Si-u’s stern expression, I could still distinguish whether he was speaking from the heart or merely glossing over the situation to end it.
When I reflexively lifted my head to meet his gaze, Jeong Si-u offered a smile utterly devoid of sincerity.
“I won’t let it affect the team. I’d rather not talk about this.”
Then, avoiding my eyes, he added in a low, subdued voice.
“…So that was it? The reason you asked me to come out today?”
“No, I mean… it’s not exactly like that….”
“I was wondering if maybe you’d started to feel more comfortable around me.”
“….”
Struck by the accuracy of Jeong Si-u’s words, I closed my mouth without answering.
Jeong Si-u let out a small, bitter laugh as though he’d expected as much, then took a long drink of beer.
The night air surrounding us both suddenly turned sharp and cold. Watching Jeong Si-u’s hardened expression, my heartbeat—already unnaturally loud—seemed to thunder even louder in my chest.
Desperate to defuse the situation, my mouth moved of its own accord.
“I wasn’t planning to say anything to you. I know you’re someone who handles things well. But Tae-hyun mentioned that you seem too busy lately and aren’t sleeping well, and… well, I’m still the leader, so I should at least be able to check on my members’ health. So it’s not like—,”
“Ha-jin.”
Jeong Si-u cut me off, squinting as though exhausted.
“I really don’t want to talk about this.”
“….”
“Honestly, you’re uncomfortable with this conversation too, and so am I. So… let’s just stop.”
Jeong Si-u stood up from his seat, his displeasure openly expressed.
And in that moment, my true feelings burst forth as well.
“…Did I say something wrong to you?”
“…What?”
“Why should I feel guilty just for worrying once because a member isn’t sleeping well?”
I lifted my gaze from where I sat, and our eyes met.
Under that cold stare, I might normally have cowered, but now I felt cornered myself. I didn’t know why.
“You’re right, I’m uncomfortable around you.”
“….”
“But how could I not be? Honestly, how long have I even known you? Isn’t it stranger that I should suddenly feel comfortable around you out of nowhere?”
I was someone far more accustomed to ‘hierarchy’ and ‘rank’ than most people realized.
Just looking at my past—years as a trainee, military service, stints with various theater and performance groups, and finally starting work as a PD—proved it.
In this industry, seniority was skill, and experience was law.
Regardless of my age, the moment titles like “Youngest Member” or “Assistant Director” were attached before my name, I had no choice but to complete whatever my seniors asked of me, and I had to align myself entirely with them.
In this industry, seniority was responsibility, and I was someone who understood the weight of that responsibility better than anyone.
And to someone like me, Jeong Si-u—who was my senior and superior, and possessed both talent and character—could only be a source of discomfort.
“I told you, I know you’re good at what you do. I know you’ll handle it fine on your own, but I’m just asking to confirm.”
“….”
“Whatever the reason for your insomnia is, just asking about that one thing shouldn’t give you grounds to say I’m making you uncomfortable or whatever. You’re the one drawing a line with me right now…!”
“―Then!”
“….”
“Then you shouldn’t have asked while looking like you were about to die, trembling like that.”
Jeong Si-u cut off my rising voice with a brutality I’d never heard from him before, looking down at me. His expression was difficult to pin down to any single emotion, so I kept my mouth shut and didn’t avoid his gaze.
Jeong Si-u pressed me harder.
“If you were really worried about me, you shouldn’t have asked by dancing around it with that expression, Ha-jin.”
“…Is being careful not to hurt your feelings also a sin?”
“In the first place, why did you think my feelings would be hurt by that question?”
“….”
“Idols not sleeping properly isn’t something new, and I’m not even avoiding sleep entirely. So what exactly are you so afraid of that you explain everything in detail before asking me?”
“….”
“Who are you sitting in front of me right now? A caring younger member worried about your hyung? Or a business partner who’s just pretending not to know, but got pushed forward as the leader?”
I felt as though Jeong Si-u’s words had struck me across the head.
Understanding my silence as an answer, Jeong Si-u wiped his gaunt face with his hand, his expression genuinely exhausted and fed up.
“…How much longer am I supposed to pretend not to notice that you feel inferior to me and keep your distance?”
My heart sank with a heavy thud.
The uncomfortable feeling I’d harbored toward Jeong Si-u materialized into the three syllables of “inferiority complex,” floating between us both.
“Seok-i and you too…. You treat me like some unbreakable alloy statue, so what am I supposed to say to you every time this happens?”
“….”
“You want to know why I can’t sleep? Are you prepared to pity and sympathize with me once you hear the reason? All while you don’t even care to ask why I’ve cut contact with my mother?”
-Why are you alone, hyung…. Mother didn’t come….
-No, don’t tell me. I’m not ready to hear about Mother yet.
Words I’d once spoken to Jeong Si-u suddenly flashed through my mind.
Jeong Si-u murmured self-mockingly in a low voice.
“How am I supposed to open up about my nightmares to you, when you don’t even consider me a close hyung?”
“…Hyung, that’s—,”
“Don’t say things you can’t take responsibility for, Ha-jin.”
-If you can’t take responsibility, you shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place.
At Jeong Si-u’s final words, a memory I’d buried deep overlapped with the present moment.
Even knowing this situation was different from back then, hearing similar words made my entire body go cold, and instinctively an alarm blared in my mind.
I watched Jeong Si-u, whose emotions had clearly overtaken his reason, and in the moment I was barely managing to hold my breath to prevent further wounds between us, about to finally open my mouth—
Jeong Si-u spat out one more thing in anger.
“Anyway, what matters to you isn’t me—it’s Main Vocalist Jeong Si-u.”
And that single sentence was enough to sever the last thread of reason I’d been barely holding onto.
I quietly rose from my seat.
Jeong Si-u seemed to realize his words had gone a bit too far, momentarily flustered, but soon fell silent and merely crumpled the empty beer can in his hand.
Whatever emotion that gesture expressed, it was clear we couldn’t continue this conversation any further.
“….”
After finishing the cleanup and stepping outside, Jeong Si-u was nowhere to be found. With only two empty beer cans left sitting on the table, it seemed he’d simply returned to the Dormitory alone.
Well, after fighting like that, it would’ve been awkward for us to walk back in sync anyway, so perhaps it was for the best.
I turned back toward the Convenience Store.
“Just one digestive aid, please.”
The late-night snacks I’d forced down while trying to talk with Jeong Si-u felt like they might come back up at any moment.
Or maybe they already had. My stomach had felt heavy since earlier, and my head had been spinning.
“…Ugh, this is irritating.”
Without even knowing what I was frustrated about, I turned my steps toward the Dormitory.
The crisp autumn night breeze felt unusually biting against my skin.
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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