Genius Archer’s Streaming - Chapter 1265

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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The Genius Archer’s Streaming Season 5 Episode 150
46. Patch Notes (3)
Some say it this way.
[Jetpumpd isn’t pay-to-win, it’s pay-to-live]
You’re not spending money to win—you’re spending it to survive.
Because in Jetpumpd, defeat means death.
Losing in this game carries a fundamentally different emotional weight than in other games.
In the ‘comic’ fighting game genre, ‘comic’ is a decidedly one-sided concept.
A concept for winners only.
Dancing over corpses, performing defecation emotes—that sort of thing.
Jetpumpd was a place where all taunting was legal simply because it was considered funny.
Here, taunting transcended legality and became a commodity.
Dances and defecation emotes were all part of the emotional expression item effects available for purchase.
The game’s motto was to deliver extreme pleasure to winners and thoroughly disgusting feelings to losers.
What if you felt like you lost because you didn’t spend enough money?
You’d have no choice but to spend.
To avoid feeling that filthy sensation again!
But the real problem starts here.
[Now you gotta pay just to break even, what a godly game kekekeke]
This wasn’t an RPG—it was a competitive fighting game.
Ultimately, it came down to relative performance.
Victory only came if you spent ‘more’ money than your opponent.
So even after spending, satisfaction never felt complete—you were just spending to maintain your position.
That’s why it’s ‘pay-to-live.’
The balance became so warped that expensive jets couldn’t even beat cheap free jets.
Naturally, user complaints piled up and protests flooded the developers.
But the developers remained utterly unfazed.
“You guys just suck at the game.”
It wasn’t a balance issue—the problem was players who couldn’t play.
Their favorability rating plummeted through the floor.
At G-Star, they even prepared an event called ‘Beat the Developers,’ offering patch rights as a prize—an unprecedented proposal.
But of all people, it was Streamer Almond, a rookie who didn’t know the first thing about Jetpumpd, who beat them first.
And then—
1st Place) Breaking News! They’re finally using the patch rights!!
Jetpumpd Garden.
A fresh issue thread appeared in a place usually filled with nothing but curses directed at the developers.
==== ====
From what I heard in the explanation,
they said he can change one jet however he wants?
Damn, Almond’s really about to change it however he pleases
==== ====
-For real?
-Coordinates incoming
-When did this crazy Nut Shake get the patch rights? Using it now?
-But she doesn’t know anything??
└That’s the whole point lol
└Sigh….
-Out of nowhere?
-Legendary timing lolololol
└For real, a hero’s entrance lol
A legendary bow genius who appeared when the crazy jet Lightning Bow came out lol
There was a reason why Jetpumpd Garden reacted so intensely to my return.
You could tell immediately by looking at the issue thread list.
2nd) Who would win if Lightning Bow fought the US Aircraft Carrier?
3rd) Put the developers on the target and shoot Lightning Bow event—upvote if you want it
4th) Lightning Bow is just a Jet that was made because the devs wanted to stop patching the game
5th) ???: Wow~ You’re still doing Jetpumpd even after seeing Lightning Bow? That’s hardcore~
6th) ???: Ah, we gotta go make our Ril RPG, so stop already lol
Lightning Bow.
An unprecedented overpowered Jet that appeared recently.
It was performing too well for its price, drawing complaints from all sides.
In this patch note, instead of nerfing Lightning Bow, Sanghyeon adjusted it (a buff in disguise), which caused Garden to be flooded with people.
[Called it since the ranged resistance nerf lol]
I get that long-range is good for beginners, but you gotta use it in moderation.
[It’s not even a fighting game anymore honestly]
[Lightning Bow is one thing, but “penetration property” << this makes no sense]
This was less a community of users and more a protest movement.
And right when all these protesters had gathered, Sanghyeon stepped forward saying he'd adjust the patch.
It was like standing with a match in hand over a pile of dry kindling that had been doused with gasoline.
"I… didn't realize it was this bad?"
Juhyeok examined Jetpumpd Garden and was shocked.
It just happened to fall on today because of the schedule, but it ended up looking like I'd timed it perfectly.
If I'd known it was burning like this, I would've reconsidered.
"What do I do? I don't have time to be swayed by them."
The reality was that I'd soon be entering Platform Championship practice again.
There was no time to deal with these issues even if I got caught up in them.
"Wait. Of all things… a bow?!"
But of all things, the Jet causing problems right now was a bow.
Jetpumpd users were filled with anticipation.
-Almond thinks it's overpowered because she's good with bows, so she's gonna nerf it lol
-If you use the bow, your stats will drop immediately lol
-For real, those Developers are so annoying lol Especially with Almond lol
"You're being too naive, aren't you?"
Juhyeok was bewildered.
What was he talking about? This pure innocence like a girl from a manga?
I could understand why they kept cursing Petjumpd while continuing to play.
These people's heads are full of flowers!
"Why does he think he'll try the game and touch it!?"
They were actually expecting a real 'balance patch' from Almond, whom they didn't know at all.
It was absolutely ridiculous.
'Sanghyeon said he wouldn't do anything.'
This patch was just buildup for advertising.
The plan was to roughly change the appearance to something cute and move on cheerfully, and Sanghyeon had agreed.
But the problem was, they hadn't decided what to touch.
Juhyeok felt uneasy about this.
'No, it's fine. We're only touching the appearance anyway.'
Sanghyeon, as expected, touched the 'Lightning Bow'—a bow-shaped jet among countless jets.
Then he opened the drawing pad and wrote letters instead of drawing.
[Damage 500x]
"!?"
Juhyeok's eyes went wide.
"Five… five hundred?!"
Sanghyeon began acting in the complete opposite way of what Juhyeok had discussed.
Over countless logs and oil drums, Sanghyeon fired not a match flame, but a flamethrower.
'Puhahahaha!'
And he was laughing very cheerfully while doing it.
'What is he doing…?'
Juhyeok was momentarily stunned.
He thought Sanghyeon was acting this way because he had no idea about the current situation, so he tried to type a message urgently.
'Huh?'
Pababababam~!
A large donation came through after a while.
[Jet Reconstruction Association Chairman has donated 1,000,000 won!]
[Can we talk for a moment?]
"!"
Juhyeok's hands stopped as he was about to type a message.
Despite the massive 1,000,000 won donation, Sanghyeon wasn't responding.
He just sat quietly with [Damage 500x] written in the notepad.
Then another donation came in.
Pababababam~!
[Jetchangtonenya has donated 2 million won!]
[CEO. Hold on a moment. Let's resolve this through conversation.]
-Wow
-What??
-Kekekekeke gasp
-"I became the alpha male of the Petjumpd world…" can someone recommend this novel
-Insane kekekeke
-Wow what's with the Jet guys' firepower???
-They just swarm in and cause chaos keke
The amount was a staggering double.
Even the existing viewers in Almond's channel were taken aback.
Juhyeok adjusted his glasses and straightened his posture.
There was something about large sums of money that made one instinctively more respectful.
"I-insane… I heard it was a pay-to-win money pit game. The scale of their hands is different!?"
Compared to the money pouring into Petjumpd, the cost of persuading the patch authority was nothing—massive donations began flooding in.
Not just the big spenders, but Petjumpd players themselves started sending donations one after another.
'They've already figured out how to persuade me.'
At first, they flooded the chat with threats, but they realized that wouldn't work on their opponent.
In the end, they adopted the method most convenient for themselves.
What would be most comfortable for people who had always played pay-to-win?
Pababababam~!
[Jetjeossi has donated 300,000 won!]
[Lightning Bow—long live our country~]
[Jetpummulju has donated 500,000 won!]
[Talk with us ^^]
[Jetbal has donated 500,000 won!]
[The stone we carelessly threw kills the Jetguris!]
'Money… money is falling from the sky!'
Money pours down.
Donations are always a flow.
Once the 1 million won ceiling breaks, that broadcast day often becomes just a day of sweeping up money.
But since the other side is getting anxious, donations keep flowing in.
The momentum grew stronger and stronger.
And finally—
[Rubisword has donated a whopping 1 million won!]
[What? Let our little Almond do as he pleases!]
This couldn't help but affect the viewers in Almond's channel as well.
-Kekekekekekekekekeke
-Even Gensay keke
-The Great Emperor Ruby
-Kekeke
-The room host says he can't exchange it for this amount of money~
-Kekeke
[BigSon has donated 1,000,000 won!]
[In my opinion, that's still enough to refuse]
-Breaking news) Interest rates skyrocket
-Gasp
-Kekeke
The guys are trying to throw an almond money party lol
The Fed Chair has arrived ㄷㄷ
Hahahahahaha
Ding.
[Gaji-bokkeun has donated 3,000 won.]
[Do you want patch rights? Then pay up. Expensive stuff.]
Hahaha 3,000 hahaha
-Hegemony lololol
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ (lol/haha)
Haha, I get that you don't have dominance/control over this.
-"PAX NUTS"
Almond's viewers began defending his patch rights.
From their perspective, they had a stake here too.
It was only natural that they disliked this sudden atmosphere of someone appearing out of nowhere and making demands.
So they too chose the best way to demonstrate their influence.
Money.
'Money… money!'
Boom boom boom!
Boom boom!
As Juhyeok heard the sound bursting like fireworks, his eyes drifted to the advertising revenue chart he'd been lamenting.
He had no choice but to lift his hands from the keyboard and acknowledge it.
"San… ghyeon…."
The grace of Daegam.

* * *
Gaji-bokkeun's words became like the opening cannon announcing war.
Pababababam!
Babam~!
Pababababam~!
Countless big spenders began firing cannons.
and lol
-Fire!
-Shoot the cannons!
-Kill them all! Wipe them out!
Hahaha, oh man, I'm having so much fun with all of this.
and had a money party lol
War is all about money, man.
Almond's existing viewers naturally egged on the fight and provoked the Jetpumped users.
-Jetpumped scared?
-Scared?
-Breaking news) Jetpumped users provoke third nuclear test
-Is that all?
-Is it over? The Ruby Princess can go all day long~
Who were the Petjumpd users?
They were people with a strong will to resolve everything in the game world with money.
In this free broadcast, their pride couldn't accept losing in the amount of money spent.
Pababababam!
[Jetchangtonenya has donated 1,000,000 won!]
Pababam~!
[Petjumpd has donated 1,500,000 won!]
Millions of won in donations were fired off relentlessly.
"W-wait…"
It was when the money cannon war from both sides reached its peak.
It was probably the point where Sanghyeon's mental count had exceeded a certain amount.
The moment when enough money would accumulate that I couldn't possibly refuse.
"I'll end this war."
Sanghyeon waved his hand as if bestowing a favor and erased [500x Damage] from the whiteboard.
Swish, swish.
-Oh
-Ohhh
-Oh…
Thank you so much ㅠㅠ
The Petjumpd users reacted as if they had just received a divine envoy.
After that, he began changing the bow's appearance on the whiteboard in the way he originally intended.
The arrowhead took on an almond shape, and the brilliantly ornate bowstring became a relatively simple design.
The Lightning Bow had somehow transformed into the Nuts Bow.
"I'll make this change for you."
-?
-???
-?
No, please nerf it ㅠㅠ
-Just the appearance???
-This is just a skin patch lol
-Nerf nerf nerf
-Nerf it! Nerf it!
Then requests to nerf the bow began pouring in.
Of course, I had no intention of listening to them.
If I touched the balance, I'd get criticized no matter what.
I needed to end this here, and to do that, I had to create a negotiation table again.
"Ah, I almost forgot. The Nuts Bow has this feature."
[Upon impact, the almonds on the arrowhead burst, triggering a nuclear chain reaction for 7,850x damage]
-Kekekekekekekekekekeke
-Kekekekeke
-Kekekekekekekeke
-Lolololol
-There's no negotiating~
-Insane lol
-What was that plausible explanation earlier lol
-Hoo, it's holding up? 5000x damage lol
-You can feel the madness in those numbers lol
In the end, the Petjumpd users all marveled at my aesthetic sense and begged for a patch that only changed the design, keeping everything else the same.
-Now that I see it, the bow is so pretty~
-I'm keeping that bow
-Just changing how the bow looks less intimidating makes me feel like it's worth trying
"Since everyone's satisfied, I'll go ahead with just a cosmetic patch. If the opportunity comes up later, I'll play the game again."
In the end, the big spenders of Petjumpd had gathered and spent an enormous sum for a world where nothing actually changed.
And─
[Streamer Support Today Ranking]
1st Place. Almond
2nd Place. Cutie Pie
3rd Place. Doughnutz
4th Place. Miho
5th Place. Jello
.
.
.
I achieved first place in the platform's sponsorship rankings for the first time.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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