Debut or Die - Chapter 477

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 477
“….”
Cha Yu-jin drew in a slow breath.
The coastline, the fresh and bracing scent peculiar to a beach with rough waves—it filled his lungs.
Though it was summer, the dawn air by the water was warm enough to endure. The beach of Ganghwa Island carried the same atmosphere as the one in San Diego where he had been.
In the past, he would have easily recovered his composure in moments like this.
But now his mind would not clear.
To be precise, Cha Yu-jin could no longer brush away ‘feelings of defeat’ as easily as dust—could no longer blow them away without effort.
It was impossible now, as it had been before.
‘This is infuriating.’
So he resolved to at least compose himself.
It seemed he could endure thirty days here in silence….
If no one else was around.
But,
“Cha Yu-jin!”
“…!”
He heard someone calling.
Turning his head, he saw In-young wearing a mask, silhouetted against the light.
It wasn’t that it was dark.
Because they were running with their back to the dawn, the light made them appear shadowed.
Yet from that dark silhouette alone, he could recognize who it was.
He’d seen this person for years.
-…Take care, Cha Yu-jin.
A colleague who had given a final greeting on the way back to South Korea.
“Kim Rae-bin.”
But the moment the name left his lips, he understood.
‘This isn’t the same person.’
His stomach twisted uncomfortably.
Even so, ‘Kim Rae-bin’—after all, the name was identical!—came rushing along the coastline and shouted.
“You really were here?!”
Finding him like this.
‘This version of Cha Yu-jin’ must have some special memory tied to this place.
The thought made him feel utterly sick.
“I’m here. But aren’t you looking for your friend?”
“…??”
“Then go back. Seems like that person doesn’t exist. I’m not your friend.”
The words came out so awkwardly. Cha Yu-jin suppressed the rising anger without letting it show and quietly turned his head away.
That was when.
“No! You are my friend.”
“…!”
Kim Rae-bin’s voice grew louder as well.
But Cha Yu-jin understood.
‘He’s not angry.’
The confidence and conviction unique to someone sharing a newly discovered truth resonated firmly through Kim Rae-bin’s voice.
“Since we joined Ajusa, I agree that we’ve experienced different timelines. But I realized that the bond we built before joining hasn’t disappeared.”
‘Before joining?’
Cha Yu-jin unconsciously questioned it internally, then immediately understood.
Before joining Ajusa.
The days when we trained together at the same Agency.
“Then I’m the friend you met during your trainee days. And you’re the Cha Yu-jin I studied alongside during my trainee days!”
“….”
“That means we can determine we’re the same person!”
Cha Yu-jin was momentarily at a loss for words.
Not because there was nothing to refute.
It was simply that the other person—Kim Rae-bin—was brimming with certainty. He seemed to believe without a shred of doubt that he had found the perfect logic.
‘Good grief.’
And this was… not something I’d easily seen over the past few years.
But it wasn’t entirely unfamiliar either.
Before debut, and even a few times after—when preparing albums.
-If we proceed this way, we’ll definitely deliver contemporary appeal while achieving a polished Stage performance.
I recalled seeing him like this occasionally.
…No, that’s not it.
‘My friend was originally that kind of person.’
Kim Rae-bin had always been that way.
At first glance, merely polite and humble, but stubborn and unyielding in another aspect.
His own conviction.
A worldview so brazenly unwavering.
And the talent that made it not mere stubbornness…
Seeing a longtime colleague’s better self again stirred something profound within me.
“….”
Certainly, Cha Yu-jin also knew.
‘He’s not the same person.’
I’d even said directly multiple times that this was a different person, not the one I knew.
Yet this was unavoidable.
‘…But there are commonalities.’
Cha Yu-jin was only just entering his twenties.
Suddenly thrust into an unfamiliar world, I couldn’t deny the genuine bond proven in a dead end.
So I could only answer with a strained voice.
[You’re right.]
The first acknowledgment.
Just then, a wave crashed against the rocks. Cha Yu-jin turned his head away.
‘He probably didn’t understand that.’
But rather than repeating himself in Korean, a far more decisive answer came back.
“Yeah!”
Huh?
Cha Yu-jin pushed himself up from the rock.
“Kim Rae-bin, you understood what I said?”
“I’m studying simple English at the word level for songwriting. It helps with matching punchlines.”
Oh.
Cha Yu-jin almost asked what song he was composing, but quickly caught himself and stopped.
There was no point.
“…?”
Kim Rae-bin didn’t notice that awkward pause, but he had already resolved to continue the conversation as planned.
He seized the slightly more relaxed atmosphere and recalled Park Moon-dae’s advice.
-If you really do meet Cha Yu-jin… just speak freely, however you want.
So that’s exactly what he did.
Kim Rae-bin decided to ask what seemed most important to him first.
“Have you eaten?”
The essentials of life!
Since he probably hadn’t slept, the least he could do was make sure he ate something.
Cha Yu-jin was momentarily flustered, but soon let out a soft laugh and turned his gaze back to the ocean.
“No.”
“Then let’s have breakfast, even if it’s early.”
“It’s fine.”
He wasn’t in the mood for it.
At that, Kim Rae-bin looked at him with an expression of apparent alarm.
“Are you under so much stress that you’re skipping meals?”
“….”
“…! Or is it that because you’ve lived so freely, you’re feeling a lot of pressure from your current situation?”
That word—freedom.
Cha Yu-jin rested his chin on his hand, staring at the waves, and answered without thinking.
“I worked at an auto repair shop.”
“….”
Five years of activity had ended as if it never existed. And after returning home, that’s what he had started doing.
“My parents offered to give me a surfboard shop, but I refused.”
The thought of spending all day at the beach meeting and listening to idiots prattle on about surfboards seemed unbearably irritating.
It was a contradictory feeling—wanting to throw his life away in a pathetic existence, yet not wanting to meet the fools who actually did.
“An auto repair shop?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you enjoy it?”
“Not really.”
But it wasn’t something I disliked either. There was hardly anything I hadn’t tried my hand at before. I adapted quickly to physical labor at the repair shop as well.
And….
“It was nice not thinking about anything.”
“….”
Why did STier’s Cha Yu-jin return to South Korea the moment his contract ended?
In truth, he hadn’t received zero offers from other agencies.
They weren’t particularly prestigious agencies, but a few smaller ones had made proposals.
Perhaps he could have released another album or two.
But he didn’t.
-No.
‘I’ve already come too far.’
Because he had realized what a foolish thing he’d done.
“….”
Originally, he had a very simple philosophy of life that he’d learned from his Grandfather and developed—
-If no solution is visible, find one.
-If you absolutely cannot find one, abandon it cleanly and attempt a new direction.
That was how I had lived, thinking and acting on these principles. Until before my debut.
But the past few years spent as ‘STier’s Cha Yu-jin’ were somewhat different.
‘I couldn’t abandon things cleanly.’
‘A member was arrested for drugs, an unchosen song became the title track, the group’s name was attached to a project I didn’t participate in, albums were canceled….’
And rumors.
Rumors and rumors, an environment beyond my control.
Even though no fundamental solution was visible, I endured by making the best choice at every moment.
Of course, at that time, all of it felt worthwhile. Even if it was wasteful, it didn’t matter.
But after pouring everything out like that.
In the end, nothing remained.
-STier, contract terminated.
“….”
An ending where no growth or reversal occurred.
Having come this far, I had to admit it.
That I had missed the timing to give up.
“But this place makes me think too much.”
That’s why it’s painful.
A world where the price of a foolish choice not to abandon was given in all the wrong ways was excessively perfect.
Everyone is happy, and everything is successful.
[I just… don’t understand why I have to witness this damn perfect world where everything works out.]
“….”
It was something I couldn’t even say in English, so I muttered it in Spanish.
But Kim Rae-bin didn’t press me on what I was saying.
I simply sat quietly, using what little social awareness I possessed to carefully discern the emotions hidden within his tone.
‘He seems to be struggling.’
And that much was enough.
So Kim Rae-bin decided to simply sit beside Cha Yu-jin in silence and watch the ocean together.
He knew his own lack of eloquence.
“….”
“….”
And it was the right choice.
Whoooosh—
The waves reflected the light, rippling gently across the surface.
Before the tranquil beach, Cha Yu-jin felt a subtle sense of liberation.
The kind that came from speaking words no one else could understand.
Thanks to that, he could nod at Kim Rae-bin’s words.
“It’s eight o’clock now—a good time for breakfast.”
“Yeah.”
The two rose from the beach rocks.
Their footprints remained perfectly aligned, not a single step out of place.

* * *
After eating breakfast at the Baekban Restaurant with a solo room that Kim Rae-bin had arranged with the members beforehand.
Kim Rae-bin now felt comfortable enough to ask his curiosity directly.
“Cha Yu-jin, do you dislike your hyungs?”
“Cough—”
Yes.
Just like that, bluntly.
Cha Yu-jin, who had been drinking water, nearly choked but managed to hold it back.
And since he’d already left the Dormitory anyway, he decided to give an honest answer.
“It’s uncomfortable.”
“Is it because you feel they’re infringing on your freedom for the sake of another Cha Yu-jin? Or because they’re projecting that other Cha Yu-jin onto you?”
“Umm… yeah.”
Cha Yu-jin responded reluctantly. Kim Rae-bin had stated it far too bluntly.
And after thinking it over, he found himself offering an even more honest and specific answer.
Goodwill, apology. And… a bit of concern.
“And… Park Moon-dae?”
Hm?
Kim Rae-bin’s head snapped up.
Cha Yu-jin’s brow was furrowed in an enigmatic way.
“I find that person suspicious.”
“…!”
“That person knows too much about me.”
Kim Rae-bin’s mouth fell open.
“That… Park Moon-dae hyung has always remembered all of us well, and since he’s overseeing this group’s planning….”
“Nope! That’s not what I mean. It’s about me.”
“…?”
“Not you guys. Me.”
Cha Yu-jin pointed to himself.
He was already sensing it.
The person Kim Rae-bin called ‘Park Moon-dae hyung’ knew far too much about STier’s Cha Yu-jin.
STier was objectively a group that hadn’t enjoyed a particularly good reputation.
‘And it was even a boy band.’
It would be difficult for another man to know the circumstances that well. At best, he might have heard the name once. And even then, only through negative rumors.
But what was the attitude of this person called Park Moon-dae?
-Keep your mouth shut.
-…You don’t need to see that.
He blocks at critical moments.
Precisely, as if he knew what triggers his group possessed.
And based on facts at that.
“Too much, so… it doesn’t feel natural.”
“….”
Cha Yu-jin couldn’t explain it in detail to Kim Rae-bin, but he wanted to at least warn him that something felt off.
So he spoke.
But then.
“Let’s just ask him directly!”
“What?”
Kim Rae-bin immediately grabbed his smartphone…!
“Are you insane, Kim Rae-bin?”
“I’m not insane, you idiot!”
“Idi….”
In the moment Cha Yu-jin was flustered hearing Korean profanity for the first time in a while, Kim Rae-bin casually succeeded in making the call.
“Yes, hyung!”
And shortly after.
“….”
“….”
One more person had been added to the Baekban Restaurant room on the Ganghwa Island beach, still devoid of crowds.
“Hey.”
‘Park Moon-dae hyung’ had developed dark circles under his eyes in just one day.
He was already a person who didn’t have particularly healthy complexion or a fierce impression, but now his face looked even more exhausted and worn.
‘Hmm….’
Cha Yu-jin felt a faint sense of guilt, but he recognized that wariness came first.
So he tried to immediately brace himself, but,
“Hyung, Cha Yu-jin has some questions for you!”
Kim Rae-bin immediately poured out the doubts Cha Yu-jin had been harboring directly to Park Moon-dae.
‘Kim Rae-bin!’
Cha Yu-jin screamed internally, and in that moment of bracing for the unexpected and sharpening his reflexes by locking eyes.
The ‘Moon-dae hyung’ before him… lowered his head slightly.
“Well, that’s…”
And Cha Yu-jin, perceptive in interpersonal matters, immediately caught the nuance of that gesture.
This person…
“I was interested.”
“…??”
“I was interested, so I just kept up with your activities a bit.”
This person was embarrassed.
‘Good heavens.’
Park Moon-dae.
The former Ryu Gun-woo had just made a fan confession right in front of the singer himself at the most unexpected moment.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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