Debut or Die - Chapter 359

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 359
Clatter.
“…The scenery is nice.”
“L-look over there… there’s a cow…!”
Beyond the members pressing their faces against the window and offering commentary, a pastoral landscape rolls past.
That’s right. We’re packed into a typical tour bus heading toward the rural area.
Of course, the bus is fitted with cameras everywhere. In other words, this will air on broadcast too, so we can’t afford to be careless.
“Wow~ this bus even has a karaoke machine?”
“Oh, I haven’t seen one of those in ages.”
“I want to sing! Give me the microphone!”
“Okay! Should we have a scoring competition?”
Big Sae-jin grinned and grabbed the karaoke microphone, lifting the atmosphere. His variety show energy was almost desperate.
I understand.
He can’t bear this peaceful, edit-proof atmosphere.
“Come on~ our main vocalist has to give us at least one song here!”
He’s really working hard.
“Hand it over.”
“Ooooh!”
I selected a somewhat dated pop song from about ten years ago and belted it out with maximum enthusiasm while aiming for the highest score possible.
I’m being equally desperate about this.
‘There’s a non-zero chance we’ll arrive and immediately be sent to a deep-sea fishing vessel…’
Production team, please just do what you do best.
“That blue ocean~ the refreshing breeze~”
“Ooh! Ooh!”
Please stick to the meta of screwing over the cast!
But when we finally arrived and saw what awaited us… it was a comfortable, warm rural farmhouse.
“….”
A picturesque countryside home with a blue roof, a wooden veranda, and sunlight streaming in beautifully.
The members grow excited.
“Wow!”
“It’s such a wonderful house with such a cozy feeling!”
“….”
No… the exterior could be fake. Yeah, what matters is the inside.
But after we entered.
“The floor here… it’s warm.”
“It has such a lived-in feeling that it feels even more intimate.”
“Really, it does…!”
The neatly arranged ondol rooms retained their vintage charm with mother-of-pearl chests, white porcelain, classically colorful candy jars, and even scholar’s stones.
“Did you see the refrigerator?”
“…Yes, there was quite a lot of stuff in it.”
The kitchen was stocked with various seasonings, rice, and side dishes.
Sunlight streamed through the window, and the air itself felt warm and inviting. I swallowed hard.
‘…the inside is even better.’
This was a house that perfectly encapsulated the romance and nostalgia of rural countryside living.
‘What on earth was the art director thinking?’
They’d titled it something like 【That House’s Grandson】, so why did they have to make the dormitory this charming?
Not even giving the cast members a hard time—this was nothing short of betrayal.
“Wow~ This is seriously amazing! How is this possible?”
Big Sae-jin, reading the mood, had already switched his content to a housewarming reaction.
He was trying hard.
The director chimed in casually as well.
“Haha, everyone, we borrowed all of this from the residents, so please take good care of it since we’ll need to return it when the period ends~”
“Yes!”
Why was he spouting such things with that warm expression?
I opened my mouth, just in case.
“Is there any chance we need to pay for….”
“Oh no, of course not~ We naturally covered all the rental costs! Absolutely! There’s no way that would happen!”
Yeah, I was genuinely grateful for that.
‘This really does look like it’s going to fail.’
Shortly after, we finished our reactions and came out when told to gather on the veranda.
“Testa’s Grandson everyone, please sit here~”
“Yes yes~”
Then came a brief briefing about the content.
Nothing much different from what we’d heard at the meeting. Help the elderly with their work while living the countryside life and cook meals.
‘How boring….’
If it were actual hardcore volunteer work, that would be one thing, but this was purely a structure where we got free meals.
And the Production Team’s explanation didn’t end there.
“Next is how you’ll receive compensation~”
A small pouch had appeared on the table positioned on the veranda.
Ryu Chung-woo picked it up and opened it.
“What is this? WOW~”
“…That’s interesting. Is it a bottle cap?”
Inside, circular tokens gleamed with patterns engraved in relief.
“You can only use one type of currency here, and you can acquire more of it through various tasks!”
The director pointed to the pouch.
“It’s~ 【Carrot Coins】!”
“Ooh!”
The name somehow sounded questionable.
Yet even at these toy-like coins made from bottle caps, the members’ eyes gleamed with interest.
“Why is it called Carrot?”
“That’s because these coins exchange one-to-one with real carrots~”
“Hahaha!”
The Production Team received generous reactions no matter what nonsense they spouted.
“Understood~ Carrots, carrots!”
“That’s pretty innovative?”
“Let’s use this as public funds.”
And only then did I nod in understanding.
‘Of course that’s it.’
There was no way this penny-pinching Production Team would let the cast roam free so carelessly and abundantly.
‘They must’ve rigged the coins.’
Surely they’d engineered it so debts would snowball like a rolling snowball, or the coins would be so scarce that we’d struggle and fumble.
‘So for maximum impact….’
I needed to start with massive spending.
My mind finally kicked into gear. I eagerly broached the subject with a subtle hint.
“How about we use this to do some shopping for meals first?”
“Sounds good.”
“I’ll prepare a shopping list!”
I was aiming to capture the moment they fainted at the prices.
As I headed into the mart as bait, I held up the coin Ryu Chung-woo had given me and asked the Production Team with meaningful intent.
“Are you lending this to us too?”
But the Production Team answered firmly.
“No. We’re just giving it to you~ Startup capital!”
“…Yes.”
…It doesn’t seem to be a lie.
Hmm, I suppose that’s possible. Then maybe the prices are absurdly high, making the coins feel insufficient.
We began shopping.
“How much is this?”
Towels are essentials. Surely they’d shock people by charging an outrageous price for this kind of item….
“Ah~ you young folks, well anyway, this one is two carrot coins! That’s all it costs!”
“Thank you. We’ll take it.”
“…?”
Wait.
“Give us that one!”
“Does Eugene want to eat some dalgona? Okay~ How much is this, ma’am?”
“My, how handsome. Oh, quite the charmer~”
“Oh thank you so much! You’re so beautiful too, ma’am~”
“Really? Then seven of these for just one of those coins!”
“…Wow~ Amazing! Thank you so much!!”
“…?”
No matter what we picked, everything was absurdly cheap.
‘They’re practically giving it away for free.’
What is this?
I nearly dropped the dalgona that Big Sae-jin handed me before turning to address the Production Team with a measured tone.
“…The prices are remarkably affordable.”
“The locals are all so generous~”
That’s just code for the residents setting their own prices however they see fit.
So naturally, with cameras rolling and no real money changing hands, they’d give away everything!
‘Do these people have screws loose?’
Was this nonsensical, pointless free-for-all rule actually conceived by someone in their right mind?
“So shall we head inside and prepare dinner quickly~?”
“Um, Moon-dae. This time, would it be okay if I… tried? I can at least grill some meat….”
“…Fine.”
-Free-tier prices, effortless tasks, comfortable accommodations, zero obstacles to overcome.
I rendered my comprehensive verdict.
‘This is a disaster.’
Who the hell wants to watch an idol who’s already thriving beyond measure indulge in wholesome healing content?
I mean, sure, the fans might enjoy it… but even so, there needs to be some kind of compelling hook to generate genuine interest.
‘There’s no conflict whatsoever.’
This bland structure can’t capture emotion, humor, or any edge worth watching.
In a word, it’s utterly predictable and flat.
It would’ve been better to have us flexing at some impressive location, but right now the concept is neither one thing nor another.
‘I’m losing my mind.’
I popped the dalgona into my mouth and swallowed my frustration.
Naturally, I’d attempted to redirect this program’s trajectory several times before we even departed.
From grueling agricultural labor concepts to horror specials—anything would’ve worked, as long as it had some edge to it.
But remarkably, nothing stuck.
-Ah, that might be a bit…. You know?
-Yes, it doesn’t seem feasible.
All dead ends from the start.
The Production Team slipped away like eels, claiming they’d already settled everything with the Agency.
‘These bastards are so good at dodging responsibility, so why are they obsessed with this healing concept?’
The previous program had them running quiz shows that tormented actors—so why are they pulling this on us?
I grimaced bitterly.
‘We’ve become too successful.’
Testa’s been doing so well lately that now they seem cautious about rolling out anything that might provoke controversy or upset the fans.
It’s a plausible situation, and it leaves a bitter taste. The dalgona tastes bitter too, damn it.
“Wow~ Moon-dae, Moon-dae, check this out—they even have eel here!”
“Hold on.”
I decided to just find something to do instead.
At this point, the only way to salvage anything is to project the image of a harmonious workaholic—might as well capitalize on that for my image.
‘If it doesn’t exist, I’ll create it myself.’
Thanks to that determination, the sweet and sour pork I made for dinner—complete with every unnecessary step—turned out remarkably well.
…I really hope they’ll count this as a mukbang or something. Please.

* * *
The attempts to weave content together continued, but no matter how hard I thought, nothing clicked.
It was surprisingly peaceful.
‘We’re screwed.’
Still, something did happen after dinner on the first evening.
The guys who went to the neighbor’s house came back with something.
“Ta-da!”
“Wow….”
Ryu Chung-woo, grinning from ear to ear, sets a small dog with a black nose and white fur onto the veranda.
The creature energetically wiggles all four paws.
“Woof!”
“….”
I almost reach out my hand instinctively, then pull it back.
A tiny ball of fur small enough to grab and hold.
“We met the camera director’s grandmother, and this is one of the puppies her dog had.”
“It kept following us around, so we said okay and brought it!”
“Its, its name is Mung-ge.”
“Woof!”
The dog squirms between me and Bae Sae-jin. Bae Sae-jin’s face turns bright red.
“C, can I hold it?”
“Just grab it by the sides here.”
I watch the dog’s vacant, thoughtless-looking face and its tail fluttering wildly.
‘This might actually work.’
People love dogs, after all.
Plus, it’s clearly a mixed breed, so there’s no unnecessary controversy. Hmm. Good.
I nod inwardly with genuine satisfaction.
“Since this puppy came to Testa, it needs a stage name too~ How about Moon-dae’s Pup?”
“Hey.”
And I deliberately overreact to Big Sae-jin’s dog sounds, running around the yard with Big Sae-jin and the dog.
“Hahaha!”
I wondered if my laughter threshold had gotten too low, but regardless, the members and staff laughed.
…This might not be so bad after all.
From that day on, the dog slept with us in the middle of the ondol room.
Small tasks continued to pile up after that.
Digging potatoes, watering crops, feeding ducks, giving massages to the locals.
And what I’m doing now is delivering groceries.
“Ugh!”
“We’re almost done.”
We were distributing supplies to farmhouses scattered across the distant countryside.
Walking along rural paths with a dog in tow was perfect for letting my mind go blank.
And on the way back.
“Hey, should we take a break over there?”
“That’s an excellent idea!”
With no time constraints, we could spend our time however we wanted.
So in the late afternoon, just before sunset, we could park the bicycle cart and sprawl out casually in the pavilion.
“I’m going to lie down~”
“Me too!”
And we could stretch out completely flat.
‘We’re really doing everything under the sun.’
We were lying down like figures in a painting, but I wondered if this would even make it into the final cut.
Then, Sun Ah-hyun, lying beside me, murmured softly.
“This… this kind of thing feels nice too.”
“…”
“It’s been a while since I’ve spent time like this, without worries.”
“…Yeah.”
I’d been running hard without hesitation all this time. It’s a profession where you fall if you stop moving.
‘I even plan out my rest time efficiently.’
…So it makes sense that time like this would be rare.
Time that passes without purpose.
“One per person. That’s it.”
“Mmm…”
Bae Sae-jin, who had just rushed to the convenience store and back, brought hard candies, and I popped one in my mouth.
It tasted like fruit.
Whoosh… whoosh…
The grass field sways in the breeze.
“Smells nice.”
“Yeah.”
It’s quiet.
Lying in the pavilion, I realized I was in quite a relaxed state.
“…”
Maybe… this isn’t so bad after all.
‘Is this why healing variety shows keep coming out?’
Looking back at it, they seem to have steady popularity, so maybe there’s demand for this kind of tension-relieving feeling.
‘The feeling of distance from those explosive competitive battles is definitely real.’
I turned my head. And I thought.
‘…Maybe I’ll just leave it as is this time.’
Even if I enjoyed the variety show without overthinking it, it seemed like it wouldn’t interfere much with clearing the missions.
Maybe this time I should trust the Production Team’s editing skills and leave the content to them.
‘It’s possible that when I first stepped into variety shows through Ajusa, I got too caught up chasing overly stimulating content.’
Not knowing the taste of organic simplicity.
I slowly savored the sweetness of the ice cream, resting my head against the floor.
This cramped Pavilion bustling with activity wasn’t so bad after all.

* * *
Two peaceful days passed like that.
Just as the members and I were finally getting used to this unremarkable life.
“Hello, everyone!”
“Good morning!”
The Production Team, who arrived like clockwork every morning, appeared again and called us over.
‘They’re probably going to hand out some minor tasks again.’
But today, before the work briefing, they had something else to do first.
“How about we play a quick mini-game?”
“A mini-game?”
“Yes. There was a small event this morning, and let’s use a mini-game to figure out what happened there!”
“Ohhh.”
The mini-game was a simple game against the Production Team.
We’d played it often enough before, and winning usually got us snacks or fireworks or things like that.
So everyone naturally agreed and participated.
“Wow, our Mung-ge seems to always be hanging around Moon-dae.”
“Haha, I guess since he’s a dog, he picks up on similar vibes.”
“…hyung.”
Even Ryu Chung-woo was doing this.
I participated without much tension, petting the dog, and lost.
“Ah.”
“Well, it happens.”
“It’s okay! Let’s do more work!”
Everyone was unfazed. Just a relaxed atmosphere of laughter and mutual encouragement.
“Then let’s draw a penalty slip to see what happened at our event.”
“Sure~”
Based on past patterns, the penalty slips usually had things written on them like “one volunteer activity today” or “buy corn.”
And only two slips remained.
“Rae-bin, you draw.”
“Understood!”
Today’s drawer, Kim Rae-bin, vigorously pulled one of the two remaining penalty slips.
And he went rigid.
“…??”
“Rae-bin?”
“What is it?”
“Rae-bin, read this for us~”
At the Production Team’s call, Kim Rae-bin opened his mouth, his pupils trembling.
“Early this morning, an unidentified nighttime visitor broke in… and completely cleaned out Testa’s precious 【Carrot Coins】?”
“…!”
What… what did he just say?

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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