Debut or Die - Chapter 332

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 332
What in the world was happening?
I lay in bed, not particularly thinking about anything special. I was simply replaying events in my mind.
The situation from just before—when I’d gone looking for Big Sae-jin after he left the Camp Hotel room.
-Ding dong.
I pressed the doorbell to Big Sae-jin’s private hotel room, but there was no response.
-….
I wondered if he wasn’t in the room. But would Big Sae-jin, in his current agitated state, go outside and invite scandal?
He was definitely inside.
-Lee Sae-jin.
I waited a moment, then pressed the doorbell again.
This time, there was a response.
-Buzz.
Not from the door, but from my smartphone.
[Moon-dae, let’s talk later. I’m a bit tired right now]
That was all.
“….”
I removed my hand from the pillow, checked the message once, then swiped it away.
-Hyung, are you okay?
“Yeah.”
Now Ryu Gun-woo’s face appeared on the screen. I was resuming the call I’d ended earlier.
…I should do what needs to be done.
“What were you trying to tell me?”
-…Just a moment.
The figure on screen moved. He raised both hands and pointed at empty space.
-Can you see this?
“No.”
The figure on screen carefully lowered his hands.
-So you can’t see it….
“….”
-Um, after I accessed your account last time to close that ‘Claim Reward’ popup, I did some research.
I see.
-A few days ago, I managed to pull up your status window on my end and display it. So I was wondering if you could see it on your screen….
“Yeah.”
It was worth making a video call for. I understood.
And as I closed my mouth, the room fell silent again.
“….”
A cautious voice came through.
-Um, hyung. Did something happen earlier, after all?
“No.”
Can’t you stop asking about that?
For a moment, irritation surged up, but I recognized it wasn’t necessary and suppressed it.
…From his perspective, the call suddenly cut off, so of course he’d ask.
“Someone who didn’t know the situation came and hung up, and it caused some misunderstanding.”
-Ah….
After a brief exclamation, he fell silent again. He seemed to have grasped the situation roughly.
‘Is there anything left to say.’
Just as I was thinking it might be fine to wrap up the call now.
-Um… would it be okay if I explained the situation?
“What?”
-Lee Sae-jin, right? You were close friends with my brother. So….
“I came back to the past in someone else’s body and became an idol, and if I don’t do it, I die, so I leveled up and got here—should I just tell you that?”
-….
“Logically speaking, this is… no, I’m sorry.”
At that moment, I understood why Big Sae-jin had stopped talking and left. He was trying not to shout unnecessarily.
I ran my hand through my hair and continued.
“About that status window issue you mentioned—I’ll think it through and analyze it, so you should just rest today….”
-No, hyung.
He cut me off.
-This is the first time I’ve seen you not pay attention to system matters like this. Normally you would’ve asked lots of questions.
“…!”
-It seems like the current situation is really bothering you.
“….”
And then came a quiet voice.
-So why don’t you just tell me… and take it easy?
I unconsciously clenched my fist.
That was the moment.
Suddenly, I recalled the afterimages that stemmed from those words.
The mistakes he’d made every time he met me so far.
-Hyung!
-Gun-woo hyung, uh, um….
Errors in titles and speech patterns.
I thought it was just because he was bad at reading people in general.
But now that I think about it, the fact that someone who’d lived in Ryu Gun-woo’s body for years made those mistakes every single time was….
Unnatural, wasn’t it.
“You… did you make those slip-ups every time the members were around….”
-….
“…hoping I’d find out?”
After a brief silence.
A voice came through the screen.
-Probably….
“…!”
-I wasn’t consciously aware of it at the time, but I think I was doing it unconsciously… I thought it might help you.
“What.”
-Testa is someone you’ve lived with for years, someone close to you. I wanted to tell you the secret so you could feel at ease….
It was an action rooted in goodwill.
But in that it completely disregarded the other person’s will and feelings, it reminded me of something.
And he mentioned it himself.
-But that’s what the system does.
Right.
-It just acts without considering your thoughts or feelings.
This was an impulse far too mechanical and inhuman for such a soft-hearted guy to exhibit.
I slowly opened my mouth.
“…So, you suspected that I’m being influenced by the system?”
I recalled the guy who had been particularly afraid of the system when we last met.
-I can feel the parts that have merged with the system growing stronger. It seems to have some effect even when it transfers to a different body.
And from the screen came a voice that sounded somewhat dispirited and bitter.
-Yes. So after I realized it, I’ve been trying really hard not to make mistakes….
“….”
-I really didn’t mean to. You must have been uncomfortable, and I’m truly sorry. I’ll be really careful not to be swayed by it from now on….
“…Alright.”
I heard a sigh of relief from the screen.
‘He’s having a rough time.’
Being influenced by something unknown seemed like it would be quite unpleasant.
‘From now on, I need to keep a closer eye on this guy’s condition too.’
I looked at Big Dal, as if I’d been splashed with cold water and had regained some clarity.
But the topic came back around.
-Um, but hyung, this is something I’m saying separately from all that. That friend will definitely trust you.
This was maddening.
I spoke while suppressing a groan.
“If that guy had the kind of personality to believe this sci-fi nonsense, I would’ve settled it already.”
But Lee Sae-jin was the most pragmatic personality among us.
I acknowledged it.
‘That’s why… I’ve been putting it off.’
Because there’s work to do, because the timing isn’t right.
I was rationalizing my own silence and procrastination by making such excuses.
I had said in the heat of the moment that I’d tell you when the time came, so I should say something… but the probability that you wouldn’t believe me no matter how I explained it seemed too high.
I sighed.
Then from the screen came a voice that sounded somewhat exasperated… what, exasperated?
-Hyung, I’m just asking because I’m wondering if you forgot… but I was your status window??
I know that too.
-I know everything about how Lee Sae-jin and my brother have been getting along!
“…!!”
-Even the fights between you guys… anyway, I’m speaking as a third party who knows all the information. Please trust me…!
“….”
Seeing it all laid out like that was rather embarrassing.
But Big Dal was practically whimpering at this point, embarrassment be damned.
-Since that friend is so practical, they know you well too…! And you both trust each other a lot.
And though I found it amusing, I was listening intently to what he was saying.
-If you explain things seriously and honestly, they’ll believe you.
“….”
I lay down with one arm propped beneath my head.
-Brother….
I don’t know.
“I don’t even know how to bring it up. It’s come to this.”
-Ah….
“For now… let me see how things develop.”
I had no idea how this guy would react tomorrow if I came clean right now.
It was possible this was just heightened emotions talking, nothing serious—maybe once he cooled his head, I could explain the misunderstanding and we’d both feel a bit awkward before moving on.
-Brother, so….
The guy on screen seemed to be trying to offer some words of encouragement, but they weren’t landing.
“Yeah.”
I ended the call shortly after, then hesitated before replying to Big Sae-jin’s message.
[Sorry. Get some rest.]
And though it was amusing, it really did turn out to be nothing serious.
The album recording camp the very next day proceeded smoothly.

* * *
“I added explosion sounds to the beat. What do you think?”
“It’s good, but what if we only put it in the chorus point and replace it with a different sound for the verses? The ears might get tired too quickly.”
“Understood!”
Big Sae-jin gave feedback much like yesterday and skillfully balanced the situation. Pushing good ideas forward and cutting out inappropriate ones.
“I want to use Demo 4 as the base and pull out one track for the album. What do you think?”
“…That works. But I think 3 is better.”
“Alright.”
It wasn’t like before when things got awkward after I got angry—he wasn’t just grinning and playing along carelessly.
It was just… the distance between us had thickened.
‘Damn it.’
He wasn’t giving me a chance for personal conversation.
This was awkward to apologize for. Whether I said “what am I sorry for” or “it’s fine,” the conversation couldn’t progress.
“Let’s take a break.”
“Yes.”
During the break, I watched the others scatter freely throughout the Suite Room, then got up.
‘I should splash some cold water on myself.’
If I couldn’t concentrate because I felt stuffy, that would be stupid. Let me do some cold water therapy to clear my head and look over the album.
That’s when I was returning from the washroom area next to the entrance.
“…Lee Sae-jin.”
“Yes?”
A voice came from the kitchen beside the corridor.
Bae Sae-jin calling Big Sae-jin.
It was rare. So right away, the conversation with Bae Sae-jin from yesterday came to mind after Big Sae-jin left.
-Did I… say something strange?
-…No. There’s just been a misunderstanding between us. I’m sorry for dragging you into it.
-No, it’s not that.
Anyone listening would think they’d bring up that topic.
The voices of the two namesakes continued from beyond the corridor corner.
“About yesterday… if I made a mistake, I’m sorry.”
“Huh? No. It’s not like that. I was the one who caused a fuss.”
“…Is there a problem?”
“Oh, it’s just my issue. I was rude when I spoke back then, wasn’t I? I’m sorry, hyung.”
“No, that’s fine, but….”
A brief silence followed.
“Um, hyung. I have something else to do, so is it okay if we stop here?”
“…Wait a moment.”
I heard Bae Sae-jin swallow.
“…About yesterday. The person Park Moon-dae was looking for—I didn’t find out because Park Moon-dae told me. I just happened to be there and found out.”
“….”
“I shouldn’t have said anything….”
“Hyung.”
Big Sae-jin cut me off.
“I think you should hear this directly from him.”
“…!”
“I don’t think it’s really your fault, so don’t worry. Besides, thanks to you I found out about the situation.”
A groan escaped Bae Sae-jin. He seemed torn between wanting to explain what had happened and the fear that he’d be overstepping his bounds.
And in the end, he spoke.
“Yeah. I… I hope you talk things through with Park Moon-dae.”
“….”
Normally he would have just said yes and left it at that, but instead he spat out words that sounded tired and sharp.
“…I don’t know if I will.”
“…!”
“Anyway… yes. I understand.”
That’s when I realized it.
This guy was clearly worried about the situation far more than he should be.
And right now, he was furious about it, but there was also an impulse in him to hear the story.
‘If that’s the case…’
I suddenly recalled Big Dal’s final words from yesterday, when I’d said I didn’t know how things would turn out like this.
Words that hadn’t resonated with me at the time.
-Wouldn’t he believe you more if you tell him now? You’re not the type to say something ridiculous to someone who’s angry.
-…!
-Since I know you, the stranger the story sounds, the less I’ll think it’s an excuse or a joke!
“….”
Damn. Yeah.
I picked up my phone and called the Manager.
There’s no other way. Let’s try it.

* * *
Lee Sae-jin loved concerts.
Anyone who knew her might mistakenly assume she’d prefer variety shows or appearances on famous YouTube channels, but that was the trap of assumption.
What the mind thinks and what the heart feels are often two different things.
A concert was nothing short of self-affirmation as an idol.
The tangible manifestation of dreams and ambitions.
‘That’s what makes it so good….’
But today, I couldn’t fully savor that goodness.
Normally at concerts, by the time the encore comes around, members gather together and enjoy their reunion.
Even if that doesn’t happen, when members come up on stage intermittently and the synchronization is flawless, it stirs immersion and a sense of belonging.
Today, however, that was impossible.
‘Sigh….’
Ever since that commotion days ago, I’d been on stage with Park Moon-dae without having a single proper conversation with him.
I was acutely aware of it moment by moment, like a pebble lodged in my shoe, and each time my mood sank.
‘Why….’
The truth was, I already knew Park Moon-dae didn’t view me as ‘generously’ as he did the other members.
Actually, I was rather pleased about it.
It felt like a kind of relationship definition.
‘An equal friend.’
I was even a bit proud.
The certainty that even if the group disbanded, unlike anyone else, Park Moon-dae and I would continue working together and remain friends.
That reassurance.
But once you realize it was an illusion, that certainty transforms into… betrayal.
‘This is ridiculous.’
I mean, Park Moon-dae never even said he trusted me most—so what right did I have to feel betrayed?
I let out a hollow laugh.
I knew well enough that people easily shift their positions depending on circumstances. And there was nothing particularly hurtful about that.
‘This industry is even more like that.’
Yet I couldn’t understand why I’d become so hurt, as if Park Moon-dae and I were some great friends.
But then again, wasn’t it reasonable enough?
‘We didn’t just casually form a group together.’
We’d shared all sorts of worries and incidents, talked about everything under the sun, and even opened up about personal matters.
And yet….
I clenched my fists.
‘He just sent an apology text and called it done.’
It meant Park Moon-dae wasn’t particularly bothered right now.
The funnier part was that I was the one deliberating whether to reach out first and try to smooth things over.
Whoooosh!
Watching the burst of confetti explode beside the stage, I took a deep breath.
It wasn’t just because I was out of breath.
‘This is irritating.’
On such a good day, I’d let my condition deteriorate because of a quarrel with one member in front of so many spectators—it was absurd.
Especially since I’d always looked down on that kind of idiot who couldn’t distinguish between public and private matters.
So I’d focused even more on the performance and live singing. If immersion was lacking, I had to make it technically flawless instead.
“Thank you for your hard work~”
“You did great!”
So when I came down after finishing the concert, a certain emptiness weighed heavier than the usual sense of fulfillment.
The energy that had overflowed on stage seemed to have vanished without a trace.
“….”
“Oh, where’s Park Moon-dae?”
“He left in a hurry saying he had something to do!”
The fact that the other person had left just fine somehow irritated me even more.
‘Why am I the only one emotionally drained?’
Lee Sae-jin wavered between anger and exhaustion, then finally suppressed a sigh and left the venue.
I got in the car and headed straight back to the hotel, planning to just collapse into sleep.
Click.
But when I opened the hotel room door and stepped inside.
“You’re here.”
“…?!”
Someone was already sitting in the room.
“I got the key from your Manager.”
That someone with his hand resting on the table was… Park Moon-dae.
Lee Sae-jin’s eyes widened in disbelief.
‘What is….’
What kind of situation was this?
Why was the guy who’d supposedly left first here?
In that moment, a spark of hope flickered through my mind.
‘Could it be?’
Was he trying to apologize properly….
“I’m sorry for the intrusion.”
“Is that what you’re apologizing for?”
Damn it, damn it.
Big Sae-jin felt the urge to slap his own mouth. He didn’t even understand why he was speaking like this.
Showing signs of hurt feelings in the first place felt like losing.
And… he was also afraid that this would make their relationship strange.
“That’s one thing I’m sorry for, and there are other things too.”
But Park Moon-dae answered calmly without any other retort.
His calmness somehow bothered me even more.
“What is.”
‘No, is he really calm…?’
He was on the verge of tears, but in that instant, he caught sight of Park Moon-dae’s face and posture.
His expression remained serious, yet his hands fidgeted with his fingers, and his shoulders trembled slightly.
“…!”
Park Moon-dae was… extraordinarily nervous.
“There’s something I failed to explain properly to you yesterday.”
“….”
“My hyungs don’t fully understand my situation. They’ve only caught glimpses of it.”
“Caught glimpses?”
“Right. Which means this is the first time I’m telling you directly from my own mouth.”
“….”
Lee Sae-jin momentarily cast aside all the complexity and irritation, focusing entirely on the conversation.
What on earth was he trying to say?
“First… I think I should start by saying this.”
Park Moon-dae’s eyes gleamed.
“I’m not Park Moon-dae.”
“…??”
“And I’ve returned to the past.”
Lee Sae-jin began to suspect he’d actually fallen asleep in the car.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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