Debut or Die - Chapter 226

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————

A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 226
The group chat message revelation received a decent response.
-Wait, is this seriously a comeback teaser??? And Rae-bin’s the one who composed the title track solo?
-What’s with that group chat notice lolol
(Screenshot with underlined text: ‘No more than 10 emoticons in spam. Yeah, you—Lee Sae-jin’)
-Did you see how Moon-dae just keeps talking about work no matter what chaos breaks loose? He’s used to it because he basically IS a dog
-Wait, does Bae Sae-jin seriously use hamster emoticons lmaooo
As long as there’s nothing controversial, this kind of casual, relatable content is always a steady seller. Plus, with a comeback hint thrown in, it was guaranteed to be entertaining.
…Though, I did receive some unexpected feedback right before posting it.
-Hmm, you’re the one uploading this, Moon-dae?
-Yeah.
-Wouldn’t it be better if Chung-woo hyung did it~? He’s the leader, after all.
-…!
-Since he doesn’t usually post things like this, I think the fans would like it even more~ Don’t you think?
…He had a point.
It would definitely feel more natural coming from him than from me, who’d already used similar patterns a few times.
So I took Big Sae-jin’s feedback and transferred the post to Ryu Chung-woo’s account instead, wrapping it up cleanly.
-Oh it was Chung-woo
-Lmaooo this guy saved his dongsaengs’ names with animal emoticons next to them, is he insane
The results turned out well, so I should’ve just shut up and been happy about it, but doubt crept into my mind.
‘I didn’t think of that before he did.’
Wasn’t I acting like some eager kid who jumped the gun?
I needed to do some self-diagnosis to see if my skills had actually dulled.
I clicked my tongue and crossed my arms.
‘Next time, I’ll do it right.’
Of course, before that, I had to properly finish the comeback preparations.
Even though I’d structured everything so it could progress smoothly even with one member joining late, the process of synchronizing on stage was still essential.
Still, the other members and I had some breathing room in between. We’d already finished a lot of shoots that could be done without Kim Rae-bin.
But Kim Rae-bin didn’t have that luxury.
‘That guy has to do all of it starting from now.’
As a result, the moment Kim Rae-bin joined, he was so swamped that work would practically spill out if you so much as poked him.
Still, he didn’t forget to greet us in the midst of it all.
A few days later, the moment he had some free time at night, he quietly came to my room.
“My sister asked me to deliver this to you and Cha Yu-jin! I added my own sincerity to it as well. Thank you so much.”
What Kim Rae-bin handed over was yakgwa and pumpkin sikhye purchased from a local specialty shop. It looked like he’d had it sent by courier.
But the quantity was enormous.
‘Looks like he definitely knows Cha Yu-jin’s taste well….’
Since giving them different things would be awkward, it made sense to match the preferences of whoever knew better.
I didn’t have any particular food preferences anyway.
‘Though I do wonder when we’ll finish eating all of this.’
Still, there are things I need to say.
I accepted the box wrapped in an enormous cloth bundle.
“Thanks. I’ll enjoy it.”
“Thank you so much! I’ll make sure to pass this along to my sister!”
Kim Rae-bin grinned and bobbed his head respectfully. His naturally fierce expression and the haggard look of someone who hadn’t slept properly in days made the gesture somewhat ineffective.
I hesitated for a moment before finally asking.
“…Is your grandmother doing okay?”
“Yes! We’re staying in touch regularly, and she’s apparently recovering her strength steadily.”
That was a relief.
I nodded silently.
“And I also asked her to be honest with us if she experiences any physical discomfort or illness going forward…”
“Good job.”
I patted his shoulder once or twice.
Now that we’d gone through this once, whenever that moment Kim Rae-bin had been dreading actually arrived, we’d be able to face it with more composure.
‘…We can’t avoid it, but we can prepare for it.’
That was enough.
I brushed aside the unnecessary thoughts and picked up the bundle he’d given me again.
“So this needs to be refrigerated, right?”
“Yes, that’s correct. …Oh, hyung! Let me carry it!”
“Never mind. I’ve already got it anyway.”
Just as I was about to take the bundle—which would need refrigeration—to the refrigerator.
“Oh, by the way, there’s something I wanted to ask you about!”
“What is it?”
Kim Rae-bin followed along and raised his hand.
“I’m curious why you shared the message group for this remote album project with the fans!”
“…!”
“Since there haven’t been any official press releases about this album yet, I was worried there might be a risk of leaks…”
Kim Rae-bin’s eyes widened.
“I wanted to ask what kind of efficiency you were expecting to justify taking on that risk!”
“…”
I’d never actually considered such a risk.
I looked at him with slight bewilderment.
‘The song wouldn’t leak unless someone hacked the KakaoTalk servers.’
He cared so deeply about the songs and album that he was worrying about risks that only existed in theory.
Still, it could be a bit problematic for the group to leak hints about a comeback before an official statement comes out.
But I couldn’t directly mention those statements that crossed the line as the reason.
‘I should probably extract just the least provocative parts and weave them together.’
I opened my mouth calmly.
“Some fans noticed that you were at your family home. I was just reassuring them.”
That was actually part of the real reason. There were quite a few people who were anxious and worried about Kim Rae-bin’s mental state and condition.
Of course, my primary goal was to shut up those bastards spouting nonsense.
Haha, the rabbit cares more about her career than you guys do~
-Where did they all disappear to?
Before you guys even make a move, God already handles it well, so what can you do? Hitting would be the joy of life, but here we are.
Seeing that reaction, my heart felt at ease.
‘This is the right answer.’
“Yes, sir.”
But… Kim Rae-bin still looked puzzled.
“However, once the official comeback press release goes out next week, everyone would have naturally felt reassured anyway.”
“…!”
“The joy that the group chat could provide would still have been valid then, so uploading it after would have been safer and better… Ah, no! I’m sorry for talking back.”
“….”
I stood there in a daze, thinking.
Was he right?
Yes.
Not that Kim Rae-bin’s hypothesis about leakage risks was correct, but rather that there was no need to directly respond to the X-like underground rumors at all.
Once the comeback teaser dropped, everything would resolve itself anyway.
Hastily uploading a screenshot of the group chat was just scratching an itch—a hint that I was actually conscious of that nonsense.
It only passed off naturally because it was Ryu Chung-woo who uploaded it, not me.
My initial judgment was… wrong.
“You’re right.”
I muttered to myself.
A voice echoed in my mind.
-But don’t worry too much, hyung. How could you possibly change someone else’s mind the way you want?
-That’s not true, and not everyone believes that anyway…!
While listening to the guys around me say their piece, I’d acknowledged that I was obsessing over public opinion control more than necessary, yet I’d gone ahead and repeated the same mistake.
And this time, I’d acted like a brainless fool without even getting any benefit from it.
It was obvious.
I just… couldn’t bear the sight of my family dying while also being criticized. Damn it.
“I was oversensitive and made a mistake.”
“Ah, no! I just asked an unnecessary question….”
“No, this is right.”
I continued muttering.
“Pointless old memories just came to mind.”
“Yes, old… memories, sir…?”
“Yeah.”
My words spilled out as if my spine had frozen over.
“I was too late.”
“Yes…?”
“By the time I got there, all the other families had already finished identification. Only my parents were left there until that late night….”
Have I lost my mind?
I bit my tongue.
“My tongue, hyung.”
“I’m sorry for saying something pointless. Anyway, your reasoning is correct. It was my mistake, and there was no grand purpose or efficiency behind it.”
“I’m… I’m so sorry…!”
Kim Rae-bin looked like he was about to burst into tears any second. Damn it.
I set down my bag and pressed my forehead.
“What are you apologizing for?”
“I chose the wrong topic, which brought back difficult memories…”
“No.”
I spoke the truth.
“It’s because I didn’t handle things properly back then that it was difficult…”
“That’s not it!”
Kim Rae-bin cut me off.
His hands clenched into fists, his posture tense and strained.
“From what I remember, hyung was studying at the Academy at the time, so you didn’t receive the call right away… You got it a bit later, didn’t you?”
“…Yes.”
So that’s what he’d been told back then.
Kim Rae-bin nodded earnestly.
“But a student’s duty is… to study, isn’t it!”
“…!!”
What?
I stared at him as if I’d been struck on the back of the head.
“You were simply doing your best in the position you held. So that was… just an accident.”
Kim Rae-bin swallowed hard.
“Just like how me going to the MT wasn’t a mistake.”
“…!”
“Right? Of course, the circumstances are a bit different…”
Yes.
You are not me.
But separately, I also did my best back then.
It’s just that my best felt woefully inadequate.
And I couldn’t accept that no matter what I had done, there was no way to avoid the difficulty.
-No one is skilled at handling such things.
Just as I told Kim Rae-bin directly, no one is skilled at handling such things.
“…”
I grabbed my head.
The shock was severe, but the answer was clear.
Using Kim Rae-bin as a reference point, I could finally see it.
‘What could a middle schooler possibly do to handle things properly?’
I’d thought he was too young to experience bereavement, yet I hadn’t extended the same grace to myself when I was even younger.
So now… it was time for a reassessment.
‘Yes. He deserves that much.’
For a middle schooler, he’d made a genuine effort.
“….”
Somehow, my heart felt lighter.
…I had an inexplicable premonition that tonight’s sleep would be restful.
“Well, I believe there is grounds for hyung and me to arrive at similar emotional conclusions given our recent circumstances….”
“Yes.”
Still, let me give him a definitive answer first.
This poor guy had been watching my expression, continuing his attempts at persuasion.
Kim Rae-bin’s face brightened considerably.
“…! Exactly! So it’s my fault for reminding you of a painful experience!”
“No, that’s not it.”
He was saying it was his fault far too cheerfully. The joy of successful persuasion seemed to have inverted his logic.
I picked up the boxes of yakgwa and sikhye again, speaking as gently as I could.
“…Thank you for putting it so kindly.”
“Hup!”
Kim Rae-bin bowed his head again with a soft nod.
“I’m the one who should be grateful, hyung. Really. Thanks to you, I’ve received so much help and was able to participate in the album safely.”
He’s saying it benefits the group itself too, and here we go again. This could go on forever.
‘I need to lighten the mood.’
I asked casually.
“Is that why you gave a gift to Cha Yu-jin as well?”
Kim Rae-bin’s expression turned serious.
“No. I gave it to him incidentally.”
“….”
I’m not sure whether they’re close enough to be comfortable with each other or if they just treat each other like fools, but I hope the fans see it as the former.
I shrugged and organized the yakgwa and sikhye in the Refrigerator.
“Enjoy.”
“Yes!”
For the record, these gifts were something the guys with low blood sugar picked at one by one during comeback preparations, which made the final weight management phase absolutely brutal.
‘Self-inflicted.’
…The mysterious part was that Cha Yu-jin wasn’t affected at all.
Anyway, such amusing incidents were fleeting. The album release date was approaching by the hour.
The first signal was the teaser release.

* * *
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing. Get lost.”
Kim Rae-bin’s personal fan shoved her younger brother, who was peering over her shoulder with grinding teeth.
‘If you’re interested in Park Moon-dae, you could just search for him yourself instead of acting like this!’
It irritated her that instead of boldly looking him up if she’d become interested in Park Moon-dae, she was trying to sneak a peek as if she were picking a fight with her.
Of course, even accounting for that, her current reaction was more intense than usual.
She had something to worry about.
‘Is Kim Rae-bin really okay…?’
Word had quietly spread that he’d joined the preparations late because his grandparents had collapsed.
Kim Rae-bin’s fan picked at her nails.
‘At least from what he’s posting on SNS, it looks like the family situation didn’t get worse.’
Still, with a relatively shorter preparation period, she had an ominous feeling that Kim Rae-bin’s parts in the album would be reduced….
‘Ugh, shut up! Then just file a complaint asking for more of his parts in the next album!’
Why was she worrying about something she’d brought on herself?
She let out a shout, then adjusted her mouse.
It should drop right at midnight….
‘It’s here!’
[TeSTAR ‘Nightmare’ Official MV Teaser]
And she covered her mouth.
“Gasp.”
The thumbnail is Kim Rae-bin!

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————