Debut or Die - Chapter 147

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 147
“Hyung, I’m truly sorry. I rashly made my own judgment based on the personal experience you shared with me, and I carelessly….”
“It’s fine.”
If I heard it one more time, that would make five. I accepted Kim Rae-bin’s apology with a slight sense of exasperation.
‘Anyone watching would think I’d falsely accused him.’
All he’d done was tell the members that “Park Moon-dae hyung woke up from sleep and remembered something from the past.”
It was likely he’d done it out of fear or nervousness.
Based on that, he’d tried to interpret and respond to my outburst however he could.
‘…I thought I’d hidden it pretty well.’
I was mistaken.
After returning to South Korea and reviewing the Summer Package footage, my atmosphere was awkwardly stiff and gloomy.
‘Even I would’ve treated myself with caution, wondering if something might happen.’
The members’ worried and tense expressions were occasionally caught on camera.
The shoot proceeded smoothly thanks entirely to Big Sae-jin, who talked twice as much to compensate.
‘…Ryu Chung-woo showed restraint.’
He’d clearly realized from early in the shoot that I felt uncomfortable around him.
I suppressed a sigh and spoke to Kim Rae-bin.
“Then I should be the one apologizing. Sorry for dampening the mood.”
“Eh?? Absolutely not! In the first place, there’s no need for you to apologize for an unexpected situation that occurred during continuous filming….”
“Right. By the same logic, you don’t need to apologize either.”
“…! Understood. Thank you!”
Once I made him understand ‘why there was no need to apologize,’ Kim Rae-bin finally stopped talking, bowed, and left.
“I’ll be going then. I hope you have a restful time.”
“Yeah. You too.”
The room immediately fell silent. One roommate was away due to schedule, and the other had quiet hobbies.
‘The world is peaceful.’
I sighed and buried myself in the Bed.
But then I heard a sound from the adjacent Bed.
‘…Not even 3 seconds after saying it was quiet.’
It was Bae Sae-jin.
“…Are you, okay?”
“Huh? Yes.”
It was a clichéd answer, but my condition was actually quite stable.
Whether it was because I’d had a drink and vented at the end, or because I’d left the foreign country where everything fell apart and returned to the familiar Dormitory Room, I wasn’t sure.
Either way, it wasn’t as unbearable as it had been before.
Just occasional cold sweats when the memories surfaced. So I could readily add an explanation.
“There won’t be anything to interfere with filming anymore. Don’t worry.”
“T-that’s not what I was worried about!!”
Bae Sae-jin yelped, then, as if startled by his own voice, quickly raised the book he’d been reading back up.
“….”
What am I supposed to do about it?
Anyway, after checking the Summer Package footage, I marked today on my calendar right away—the day the Summer Package would hit the market.
‘Just in case.’
I picked up my smartphone and finally began monitoring in earnest.
“…Hmm.”
I’d worried for nothing, but fortunately there were no major issues.
After the magic of editing, my demeanor had shifted to appropriately subdued.
The reactions weren’t bad either.
It breaks my heart even more seeing him try so hard to hide that he’s really not feeling well.
-Park Moon-dae’s eyes are totally lifeless, his motivation’s shot, his passion’s gone ugh
└No that’s not it, he looks seriously unwell, what are you talking about
└How dare you say that to someone who was so sick he couldn’t even appear on the broadcast, you psycho
-The members taking care of Moon-dae really warms my heart, Testa forever
-In the Summer Package he’s so calm and well-behaved like a good puppy (Moon-dae GIF)
‘I was right to dial back my reactions rather than react sharply.’
Minimizing my reactions and emotional expressions toward other members and situations seemed to have been the correct choice.
Of course, I did see the occasional troll account spouting things like “Where’s Park Moon-dae’s original passion,” but they failed to gain traction and disappeared after getting hammered.
Since it was a one-off and I’d even skipped W Live before filming, public opinion had settled on the narrative that I was genuinely ill.
…I felt a twinge of guilt, honestly.
‘It wasn’t like I was actually that sick.’
Since I’d already used the excuse of being ill once, I’d need to really take care of my health for the next six months or so.
If I got sick again, it would stop being a one-off, and then real criticism could actually emerge.
Since content like these Summer Packages are mostly purchased and watched only by fans, it seemed to have slipped by, but the future was uncertain.
‘I need to be careful.’
I shrugged and turned off my smartphone.
Seeing the clean Internet situation, I felt it was good that I’d pushed through a bit back then.
…And I was keeping the promise I’d made at that time.
Beep beep beep.
[Counseling Time]
As soon as I turned off the alarm on my smartphone, Bae Sae-jin quietly spoke to me.
“…Going?”
“Yes.”
“Good thinking.”
“Well, yeah.”
During the time Sun Ah-hyun went for counseling, I’d also scheduled my own session.
Thanks to that, I’d coordinated my outing with Sun Ah-hyun, who’d just returned from his schedule.
“M-Moon-dae. Let’s contact each other when we’re done…!”
“Yeah… okay.”
But honestly, it wasn’t making much difference.
“So, what would you say is your biggest concern recently?”
“…I do what everyone else does.”
“I see~ Do you have any examples?”
“Well, there’s worry about whether I can do my job properly.”
I couldn’t tell the counselor that if I don’t resolve this abnormal state, I’ll die, and this bastard’s strange hallucinations are triggering PTSD symptoms like seizures.
I was just putting on a show.
“Park Moon-dae, you’re already doing quite well right now. Have you ever thought that it might be okay to be a bit more lenient with yourself?”
“…Somewhat, yes.”
Well, still… there was a certain stability that came from opening up to a professional.
My taut nerves eased a bit, and my inner composure felt more solid.
Combined with a schedule that wasn’t overly demanding since this wasn’t a domestic activity period, I finally felt like trying ‘that’ again.
In the Bathroom of the Dormitory after returning from counseling.
I took a breath.
“…Status window.”
Goosebumps erupted down my spine, but not enough to make me stop.
And so, after a long time, I checked the status window.
…To properly confirm the new abnormal state.
[‘Audience or Death’]
: If you fail to meet 200,000 or more audience members within the set period, death
Achieved: 2,219 / 200,000
Remaining time: D-339
‘This is insane.’
The numbers were ruthless again.
‘This is definitely a number that requires an international tour.’
At least the events had gotten me to 2,219, but even that had limits. There weren’t events year-round.
If things went according to plan, we’d start touring with domestic concerts around autumn, so timing-wise there was no issue… but now it was a matter of scale.
It wasn’t at the level of giving up entirely, and combined with events and such, it was roughly worth attempting.
‘In the end, I just have to release a good album.’
I was back to the fundamental issue.
…Still, thinking this was the last time, some peace did return.
‘At least it’s not the target itself.’
I tried to dismiss the status window with trembling hands, then suddenly realized I didn’t need to use my hands.
It meant my head wasn’t working properly.
‘…This isn’t normal.’
The status window disappeared. I resisted the urge to bury my face in the sink again.
And I thought.
‘…What the hell do you want?’
I had no idea why this status window was like this.
When the first reward showed Park Moon-dae’s… the real Park Moon-dae’s circumstances, or when it explained Chung-ryeo’s situation in detail the second time, it was different.
I thought those were hints about how the current situation was unfolding.
But what I saw in America… damn it, anyway, that wasn’t… was it?
No explanation, no help… would change anything, would it?
“…Sigh.”
Enough of this.
I took a deep breath and cleared my mind.
Thinking about it further wouldn’t yield any answers anyway. I just needed to focus on what I had to do.
That was the best approach.
‘First, the most pressing schedule ahead.’
My personal schedule. The one I’d been thinking about since I went drinking with Ryu Chung-woo and vented.
‘Having some time to work alone isn’t so bad.’
…Truth be told, since coming to South Korea, I haven’t had a serious conversation with Ryu Chung-woo.
Greetings, light small talk, and reciting scripts in front of cameras—those I could manage without much difficulty now. But anything beyond that… given my track record, I was hesitant to attempt it recklessly.
‘I’ll maintain distance this way.’
I readily accepted the personal schedule.
-Moon-dae, are you sure? Isn’t it too soon?
-It’s fine.
And truthfully, there was a part of me that was looking forward to it.
The stats I’d filmed last time were specifically for this variety show.
‘If anything, I’m doing it later than expected.’
It was the perfect situation for a change of pace and a challenge.
I swept away the useless clutter from my mind, focused only on the clear facts, and let out a quiet laugh.
This was a singing variety show.
And my current vocal stat was… S-.

* * *
【The Singer I Created】
A variety show that’s been a massive hit on MBS recently.
The format—where celebrities in disguise come out to sing, then a survival competition crowns a winner—was perhaps somewhat familiar.
MBS itself had a concluded variety show that was a huge success with that very format.
But 【The Singer I Created】 had a unique distinction. Namely… the cast members didn’t appear in person.
That’s right. They took the Stage as holograms.
And not as themselves, but as ‘characters’ of their own design.
The cast created profiles—from appearance to personality, preferences, and age—and produced mascot singer characters.
Then the hologram machines, backed by major corporations, materialized those characters on the Stage.
Viewers marveled at the cutting-edge technology that even captured the motion-linked movements of the cast members below the Stage, and thanks to the familiar format, they were drawn in without any sense of incongruity.
So even a high school student flipping through channels paused the remote when he saw the familiar Stage screen of this variety show.
“Oh~ fake singers~”
The male student, chuckling at the crude nickname, stared at the screen without much thought.
His older sister had gone into her own room, saying she was watching those Testa people.
He’d probably be able to lie comfortably in front of the TV without worry of losing it for a while.
The program had just finished its mid-show commercial break and was starting part two.
[Imagination becomes reality on the survival Stage!]
[【The Singer I Created】! The ‘singer’ who will take the fifth Stage is now… ready!]
[Waaaaaaah!]
From baseball players to triangular kimbap, the unpredictable spectrum of characters that appeared without warning was always quite entertaining.
‘It’s about time another dinosaur showed up~ Oh, please don’t be lame!’
Recalling the last winner—the red, one-eyed dinosaur with short front legs, ‘Tyrannosaurus’—the high school student grinned.
The MC called out energetically.
[This singer~ is entering now!]
[His name is….]
Boom-boom, a drum roll accompanied the spotlights dancing dizzily across the Stage.
And then, a tall In-young began to materialize smoothly on the Stage.
Over an elegant body dressed in white formal attire lay a white veil.
Behind it, a hologram of white butterflies fluttered gracefully around In-young before vanishing.
Just as the high school student was about to jeer, ‘Ah, another human~’, the close-up revealed what lay beyond the veil.
Where a face should have been, instead sat a gorgeous bouquet of colorful flowers.
“Whoa.”
[Please welcome ‘The Groom of May’~]
Artificially inserted cheers and applause erupted from the screen.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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