Debut or Die - Chapter 123

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 123
Sun Ah-hyun didn’t stammer.
“…I understand your words to mean that I should continue with this same heart going forward, doing my very best… and I will always strive to do so.”
His speech was measured, with many pauses where he drew in breath. In places, he prolonged his pronunciation before connecting the next phrase.
But he never stammered once.
“…And to all the reviewers supporting us, I’m truly grateful and I love you!”
“We love our reviewers!”
“Thank you!”
Behind Sun Ah-hyun, who had safely completed his final words, the other members rushed to lift the atmosphere.
But there was no need.
The fan section was already caught in a whirlwind of shock and emotion.
Ahhhhhhh!
You did great!! You did great!
What do we do!! Ahhhhhhh!!
Even those watching through the broadcast could hear the roar of the audience so clearly that it resonated through Testa’s microphones.
-Lolol the fans’ voices came through so well lolol
-Sun Ah-hyun’s fans must be breathless
-Lol this is a secret but honestly I got a little emotional too
└Nadakekekekeㅠㅠㅠ
└Lolol is this what they call post-award aftereffects
-Seon Ah-hyun, it’s good ㅠㅠ
-It couldn’t have been easy, that was amazing
-Anyway, I deserved the testa.
And so Testa completed their award acceptance through self-affirmation.
The mockery and criticism that people had anticipated at the end of last year had vanished without a trace.

* * *
After accepting the award and returning to the Singer’s Seating Area, my teammates offered Sun Ah-hyun words of praise.
“Ah-hyun, congratulations on achieving your goal!”
“Congratulations!”
Sun Ah-hyun’s face flushed red.
“Th-thank you so much….”
Well, he deserved the congratulations. That guy had struggled quite a bit for this.
‘Roughly… he’d been practicing for about a month and a half.’
Sun Ah-hyun had started treatment for his stammering during that hellishly busy period of year-end stage rehearsals.
Since it was the initial phase, we’d set him an easy short-term goal to maintain his sense of purpose, and this was what he’d chosen.
To deliver his acceptance remarks without stammering at the awards ceremony.
As a result, I’d watched him muttering that short speech all day long—in the Dormitory, the Training Room, in the car.
‘…Within a week, even the Manager had memorized the entire speech.’
And before long, everyone had started treating Sun Ah-hyun’s muttering like some sort of sleep-inducing ASMR.
In any case, it was certainly impressive that he’d succeeded through sustained, careful practice without excessive anxiety.
‘Once you succeed once, you tend to keep going.’
If this reduced the likelihood of Sun Ah-hyun’s condition relapsing, that was good for the group too.
I added my own praise.
“I did tell you it would be fine even if it didn’t go as practiced. But there was no need for that. You did great.”
“…! N-no, it wasn’t that good… there were parts where I breathed too heavily, and n-next time I’ll really do better…!”
“….”
No, I’m just saying you did well. Why are you answering like you’re making excuses?
But before I could correct him, Sun Ah-hyun beat me to it.
“Th-thank you for… t-telling me to try counseling.”
Hmm, that was something worth being thanked for, actually. I nodded.
“Don’t mention it.”
“Oh, how heartwarming~”
“Our team’s atmosphere is really great.”
The controversy had disappeared, the rookie award had gone well, and my carefree teammates, all worries lifted, laughed cheerfully as they headed toward the Singer’s Seating Area.
But my mood was deteriorating the closer I got to the Singer’s Seating Area.
Testa’s seating was positioned right next to VTIC.
‘Why would they put the rookies right next to them?’
As a result, every time we moved, I had to bow my head and greet VTIC, but that much was fine.
“Congratulations~”
“Thank you!”
The problem was that Chung-ryeo grinned widely every single time we greeted them.
‘Damn it.’
Anyone watching would think he was just smiling warmly.
That bastard had actually done a pretty good job cleaning up the SNS posts he’d used to fuel the rookie award controversy.
Every time he appeared on year-end programs, he’d upload a massive amount of photos to SNS, and scattered among them, he’d add random cast members with captions similar to those used for ONYX.
In other words, it was a distraction.
Thanks to the fans’ proactive explanations, everyone moved past the ONYX incident as a mere coincidence.
The most irritating part was the reaction: ‘…he seemed close with Park Moon-dae, which was strange~’
“….”
After the greetings ended, I deliberately took my time entering and sat in a chair as far from VTIC as possible.
It wasn’t particularly meaningful—just an attempt to look less miserable.
Not long after, the first segment ended and we entered a few minutes of commercial time.
And the advertisement appeared on the monitor.
[The Magical AI Secretary of Magical Boy Testa!]
“Aaaahhhhh!”
“Oh please….”
The members let out anguished screams at the exposure of their dark history (ongoing) and buried their heads in the table. The wheel of horror had spun again.
[Kyuu! Curious!]
This time, Bae Sae-jin was the victim.
Bae Sae-jin’s acting with the hamster-ear CG was natural, but he himself had completely lost it.
“…B-bathroom. I need the bathroom.”
Bae Sae-jin’s face had turned crimson as he stumbled up from his seat and rushed away in a panic.
And the members managed both sympathy and laughter simultaneously.
“Hahahaha!!”
“Sae-jin, you okay, pfft!”
Reactions ranged from applause to burying one’s head in one’s knees.
‘As long as it’s not me.’
That’s true. I nodded and reached for my water bottle.
The moment I put the bottle’s opening to my lips, someone sat down in Bae Sae-jin’s seat.
And asked.
“You have one of these for each member, right? That’s fun.”
“Pfft.”
It almost came out through my nose.
‘Damn it.’
It was Chung-ryeo.
The laughing members startled and bowed their heads.
“Hello!”
“Yes. Hello. I’ll just talk to Moon-dae for a moment and then leave.”
“Sure!”
Show some discomfort, you bastards.
But Bae Sae-jin wasn’t here, so there was no one to do that. Damn.
Big Sae-jin seemed almost certain that Chung-ryeo’s SNS upload was intentional, but now he was just smiling and nodding.
And actually, that was right.
‘What got caught was the Singer’s Seating Area direct cam.’
Someone in the Audience Seating was definitely filming this scene right now.
Whether it’s VTIC or Testa members, at least twenty cameras would definitely be capturing the current situation.
‘Stay calm.’
Either way, conversation here wouldn’t carry far—the noise was too overwhelming. Unless I deliberately raised my voice, the members probably wouldn’t hear me.
“What did you want to discuss?”
“I mentioned it during our last call… you don’t remember?”
Ah, that thing about his SNS upload not being malicious or whatever.
In short, he wanted to give me a lengthy explanation of ‘I wasn’t trying to screw you over.’
At this point, I just wanted to half-listen and end it with ‘Oh, I see. Got it.’ But there was a problem.
“…You’re planning to explain all that within the commercial break?”
“Oh, that’s plenty of time. Listen.”
Chung-ryeo nodded with a smile.
“Dying once at this timing would be the easiest way out.”
“…!”
“I’ve thought about it carefully, and what was hardest for me at first was that. I had resistance to starting over.”
Chung-ryeo tapped the table lightly.
“But once you try it, you realize it’s nothing, right? After that, everything becomes much easier.”
“….”
The reason for his insanity beyond imagination had just surfaced.
‘This is serious.’
I consciously picked up my water bottle and gulped down water.
My palms were sweating.
“You must have had regrets this time too, junior. Go back and fix them. Then the burden disappears… and instead, you feel accomplishment.”
“Wait.”
I set down the water bottle.
“So you were trying to make me fail the rookie award and die, then?”
“Just because I did that doesn’t mean you can’t win the rookie award. It’s not that… I just made things a bit annoying.”
Chung-ryeo added his explanation kindly.
“Public opinion isn’t good, and since the situation is frustrating, you might want to try again anyway.”
“…So you were trying to reduce my resistance to death and make things proceed smoothly?”
“Yes.”
“No, don’t lie.”
“…What?”
“Whether my progress goes smoothly or not has nothing to do with you, so there’s no reason for you to do that.”
“…!”
We weren’t on particularly good terms, and there was no way someone like him would move with altruistic intentions without any personal gain.
I was planning to half-listen and move on, but at this point, I couldn’t predict what nonsense would come out next, so I decided to cut him off.
Chung-ryeo’s expression became slightly embarrassed.
“Well, it was a choice that considered my position too, to some extent.”
“….”
“It doesn’t really affect you, junior… I was just curious.”
Chung-ryeo tilted his head slightly.
“I was just curious—if you died, would I restart too?”
“…!”
“Right. It doesn’t have to be the exact point I returned to… your return point would work fine too. There are a few things I’d like to fix in the first half of this year.”
This bastard had completely lost it.
True reset syndrome in its purest form.
“Ah, of course I’m not saying I want to keep restarting… but if I confirm it beforehand, it’s certain and reassuring, isn’t it?”
“Wait.”
The thought suddenly struck me that if this went wrong, when the VTIC scandal broke, this asshole might bury me alive.
‘This is driving me insane.’
…I hadn’t wanted to mention this, but it seemed like speaking up would actually reduce the risk.
First… he still seemed like someone logic could reach, so let me start with that.
“…First of all, if I fail, it might just be the end for me.”
“…Huh?”
“That’s the feeling I get. It seems like I’ll just die and that’s it.”
I glossed over it as a feeling since I couldn’t mention the status window, but it was the truth.
‘My abnormal status only says “death.”‘
Unlike Chung-ryeo’s abnormal status, there was no expression like “returning” at all.
‘This will probably be it, just this once.’
Even if I could return somehow, there was no need to take that gamble. It felt better mentally to just accept that I’d really die and that would be the end.
But Chung-ryeo chuckled.
“Ah, that’s how it is at first. But it probably won’t be, right?”
“….”
“Don’t be scared. Just try it.”
This fucking bastard.
I answered with heat rising in my chest.
“No. I don’t want to restart in the first place. I want to see the ending right here, right now. I like the members we have, I like the fans. There’s nothing I want to change.”
“….”
Chung-ryeo closed his mouth. Then he stared blankly into empty space.
‘…Did I go too far?’
He’s not about to pull out a club from nowhere and smash my head in, is he?
But Chung-ryeo soon nodded.
“…I think I felt the same way.”
“….”
“Yeah, I understand. Well, if that’s the case.”
Did that actually work?
I almost relaxed completely, but I held back. This guy might stab me in the back again.
But Chung-ryeo just looked slightly apologetic.
“Anyway, if I caused you any mental anguish because of me, I’m sorry.”
“…It’s fine. But next time, please check with me first about what I want.”
“Yes. Ah, then should I share some reassuring news… well, yes.”
“…?”
“I’ll tell you the criteria for the Rookie Award.”
Chung-ryeo smiled.
“The Han Dae-eum ‘Rookie of the Year’ Award.”
“…!”
Han Dae-eum?
That Han Dae-eum?
…The Korean Popular Music Awards—a place that supposedly excludes commercialism and evaluates purely on musicality.
As far as I knew, no idol had ever won the Rookie Award there… ever.
Wait, so this bastard never got it either.
“Haha! Obviously I’m joking.”
“….”
Someday… when this condition ends, I’ll smash Testa’s trophy right into this guy’s face.
Fortunately, before my patience ran out, Chung-ryeo delivered the real information.
“What matters is public opinion after you win the award.”
“…!”
“The reaction needs to be ‘you deserved that award’—that has to become solid public consensus. Of course, the premise is actually winning at the majority of the real awards ceremony.”
…I see.
‘So the “most prestigious awards ceremony” the status window mentioned was about public opinion.’
That made sense.
Now that I thought about it, the status abnormality completion popup didn’t appear for the Goldie Rookie Award either—it probably won’t show up until February.
And the moment I reached that conclusion, Bae Sae-jin, who had fled earlier, returned.
“…! Over here.”
“Ah, sorry. I should get up. Moon-dae, I’ll contact you again.”
“….”
I couldn’t bring myself to give a positive response, but I nodded my head, conscious of the direct camera.
Chung-ryeo waved to all of Testa and returned to his seat.
Bae Sae-jin watched Chung-ryeo with a slightly uncomfortable expression, then sat down, seeming a bit uneasy about his own seat.
“…Are you close with that guy?”
I briefly wondered why he didn’t call him senior, but then I realized Bae Sae-jin had debuted over 14 years ago.
So I answered casually.
“No. He was talking about work.”
“…Work?”
“Oh, Moon-dae’s social life~”
Since my voice was a bit loud, Big Sae-jin heard it and giggled with laughter. He probably assumed I’d made some excuse about SNS and left.
But Bae Sae-jin whispered with a somewhat serious expression.
“If he’s harassing you, tell me.”
“….”
Bae Sae-jin seemed to be recalling his past experience as a child actor, thinking about senior industry figures and their abuse of power… but wait, in some sense, that assessment might actually be correct.
In any case, explaining the situation was impossible, so I simply nodded with an ambiguous expression.
“If anything, I should say this. Thank you.”
“…Don’t mention it.”
That day, Testa received the Grand Prize, performed flawlessly on stage, and returned home.
For reference, the award went to VTIC.
…Until my abnormal condition ends, I’d prefer if those bastards keep taking the awards.
Who knows if some lunatic might attack in the dead of night claiming they’re restarting things.

* * *
And the day after the Goldie Awards ceremony ended.
I’d mentally prepared myself to some extent, but unwelcome news reached my ears.
“I heard he came to work today?”
A new Director had been assigned to the Company.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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