Deadline Is Raining in the Status Window - Chapter 311

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Seian Crowell glared at Apet with such intensity that it seemed he might stomp on her foot beneath the table. But if this came to pass, everyone would know anyway—so why bother hiding it?
“It’s fine. Let’s continue the consultation.”
“You’ll end up dead from a blade if you keep living so recklessly.”
“I am invulnerable to weapons.”
“Do you not understand metaphor?”
“? I do understand it.”
“Then stop talking.”
Apet was thoroughly exasperated, and Seian Crowell demanded to know what on earth we were discussing. I naturally felt obligated to inform him as well, so I stated my desire plainly.
“I want to go all the way with Cha Cha.”
“What?”
“I want to progress to completion with Cha Cha.”
“Oh.”
See? My husbands understand when I explain things properly. Seian Crowell even applauded in encouragement, which I proudly showed off to Apet, but the old man shook his head vigorously.
“Former wife, that’s not it.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s not what you think it is.”
Seian Crowell clapped his hands and went to the cafe counter, returning with a water pitcher that he poured over my head—splash, splash, splash.
“Hmm… it seems I’ve misunderstood something.”
“Why don’t you apologize while you still can?”
“I’ve done nothing wrong, so I cannot apologize.”
As Seian Crowell listened to my exchange with Apet while pouring water, he struck my head with the empty pitcher. It made a crisp, ringing sound—clang!
“You—why do you have nothing to apologize for!”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to go all the way with my husband, is there?”
“The problem is saying it in front of me, you fool!”
Clang! Clang! Seian Crowell struck my head with all his might. It didn’t hurt, but he must be exhausted. Even as I worried about that, Seian Crowell soon set down the dented pitcher, breathing heavily.
“You should exercise, Seian.”
“Be quiet.”
“That’s why you pass out every night.”
“Be quiet!”
Seian Crowell’s face turned crimson. How adorable. Hehe, I won’t let him sleep tonight.
“This is infuriating.”
Perhaps I had smiled too wickedly. Apet, noting that my thoughts were transparent, clicked his tongue and told Seian Crowell to calm down and sit, then continued the consultation.
“As you’ve heard, this is the situation. Since she knows this is an embarrassing matter, she must have called me, an old man, for a reason.”
“Ahem.”
Seian Crowell cleared his throat awkwardly, saying the misunderstanding had been resolved. He really is adorable. Tonight, I…
“Woman, stop staring at your husband so intensely.”
“Was it that obvious?”
“Wow!”
“I see.”
There was nothing I could do about it. This was entirely because Seian Crowell looked so indecent. It certainly wasn’t my fault.
“I understand it’s not the wind. So I’ll be going now….”
“Where are you off to?”
Since he’d come all this way, I grabbed Seian Crowell and insisted he counsel me. But the man furrowed his brow and spoke.
“I don’t think I should get involved in that ridiculous consultation. Besides, I’m busy preparing to open my office.”
“My concern about wanting to see things through with Cha Cha isn’t ridiculous.”
“No. It is.”
…I suppose it is. Well, people have different perspectives on these things. I felt dejected for a moment, then brightened up and offered my next suggestion.
“After the consultation ends, I want to go to Seian Crowell’s law office.”
“Why? I told you it hasn’t opened yet?”
“I want to do it at my husband’s workplace while he’s preparing to open.”
“….”
Seian Crowell scrunched his face and squeezed his eyes shut, then took a deep breath. After that, he glanced cautiously at Apet before whispering in my ear.
“Fine. So I just wait?”
“Yes!”
How exciting! I’ll do all sorts of things at Attorney Seian Crowell’s office desk! As he hurried away and I started doing a little shoulder dance, Apet covered his face in disgust.
“Ugh, disgusting!”
“If you’re jealous, get married yourself, old man.”
“At my age, I don’t have that kind of passion left!”
Gerth was five hundred years old and still had plenty of passion. Perhaps when you’re born a short-lived species, even if your age is similar, your mental maturity and attitude toward life inevitably differ.
“These days the Mage Guild needs to reinforce their personnel because of dungeon and monster damage, right? I’ll speak well of you to the Department Head Professor, so let’s have a serious consultation.”
“This woman’s network is disgustingly wide.”
When you live diligently, these things happen naturally. The old man should have spent his abundant years networking too.
“Well, the thing is, it seems that Starving Child has some trauma from it….”
Because Bruno abandoned Zibenstein and went to Ilam to become Aying Prime Minister, Apet Zibenstein, who became Duke Zibenstein by unanimous consent of the family elders and took responsibility for the household, was earnestly troubled.
It was just something I said in passing, but it seemed the personnel shortage in Zibenstein Territory was quite serious. Should I dispatch some hands from Serpent King’s Tower as well?
“In the first place, why did you use a gorilla as learning material?”
“Because it’s a primate.”
“Still, it’s quite different from humans, isn’t it….”
“★★ looks the same though?”
“Don’t say ★★ ★★ when you’re already grown up!”
“I only said ★★ once though.”
“I’m telling you to stop saying ★★!”
The old man smacked my head, and I quickly used a recovery skill to chase away the pain. Then he puffed away on his pipe tobacco and offered a rather reasonable opinion.
“The child said the gorilla was gross, not the human version. If we show it to them as a human version, wouldn’t their impression change?”
“That makes sense. Humans rely heavily on sight when making judgments.”
“Then it’s decided? I’m going home?”
Yes. Okay. I decided to test this method and said goodbye to the old man. After that, I looked around the Commercial District, stopped by Seian Crowell’s office to help with the opening preparations, and once all the workers had left, I got down to business with enthusiasm.
I’d indulged my fantasies on the desk, in the chair, on the emergency cot for late-night work—and the very next day, Seian Crowell discarded all the furniture and issued me a ban from the office. He claimed he’d remember it during future work and find it mortifying. What an environmental vandal.
I’ll probably think about this later when I’m working and feel embarrassed about it, or whatever you’d call it. It’s like being an environmental destroyer.

“Gerth! I’ve arrived!”
“Welcome, Evan.”
The Serpent King’s Tower was a feast from morning onward. I settled at a table fragrant with sesame oil and enjoyed a family meal. Hubert and Obero were both contentedly gnawing at meat beside me, and the sight alone left me feeling satisfied.
“Gerth, remember that gorilla practical you observed with Cha Cha last time?”
“Yes. I remember it.”
“I’d like to show you the human version.”
“What exactly do you mean?”
This was troublesome. Gerth hadn’t grasped it immediately. Hubert would be furious now.
“Oh no!”
Sure enough, our son had caught on first. Hubert grew absolutely indignant and attempted to leave the table with Obero in his arms.
“Elder brother! I haven’t finished eating yet!”
“We’ll eat later! If we stay here, our ears will get dirty!”
“What are you saying! Please explain so I can understand!”
“You’ll understand when you’re older!”
“I rather thought I was already quite grown!”
That very thought was proof you’re still young, Obero. I handed her a short rib to keep her mouth occupied, then settled back into my chair. Gerth still wore a bewildered expression.
“I want to go all the way with Cha Cha.”
“That’s hardly welcome news.”
“So I’d like to show a demonstration with you first.”
“I refuse.”
“If you refuse, I’ll ask Seian Crowell instead.”
“I won’t refuse.”
Excellent. I concluded the negotiation with Gerth and we shook hands amicably. I called Cha Cha directly and arranged to meet on the weekend. He grew excited, asking if the Starving Child was finally going on a date after so long, and said he’d bring the Egg along.
My conscience ached.

◇ ◆ ◇

“What is this?”
What do you mean, what? It’s a practical lesson.
Gerth and I, who had invited Cha Cha to the Serpent King’s Tower’s master bedroom, sat upon the neatly arranged bed.
“What do you mean, what is this?!”
“It’s a practical lesson.”
“More precisely, it’s a practical lesson for you to observe, Cha Cha.”
“No, I don’t understand what you’re saying at all?!”
Cha Cha, who had said he’d leave Egg with Hubert since it wouldn’t be good for education, huffed indignantly back into the bedroom and plopped down between Gerth and me while still wearing his space suit.
“Don’t press against each other. Move apart.”
“The practical lesson is impossible without contact.”
“Hey! You should listen to your older brother!”
By appearance or mental age, Gerth looked far more like the older brother. But if I spoke the truth, Cha Cha would feel hurt. I chose not to mention this and instead explained the purpose of today’s invitation.
“I’ll be blunt about it.”
“No, no, Evan—I don’t have good memories of you being so direct.”
“I want to see this through with Cha Cha!”
“See? That’s not a good thing to say!”
The child-adult in the space suit clutched his helmet and groaned in distress. How adorable.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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