Became The Leader of a Girl Group Destined To Fail - Chapter 194

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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Chapter 194.

“Thank you for your patience. The recipient of this year’s Grand Prize is,”

What is this?

“An artist beloved not by one generation, but by an entire era—shining brilliantly throughout this year as well—”

Where am I right now?

“Baek Nok-ha!”

Before I could even gather my wits, the people around me began applauding and embracing me.
I was pushed forward from all sides.
I couldn’t comprehend what was happening.
I was moving up onto the stage almost unconsciously.

“Ah, it seems our Nok-ha didn’t expect this at all. You look so surprised!”
“If I were Nok-ha, I would have thought this was a natural result. You’re always so humble.”
“As they say, the fuller the ear of grain, the lower it bows. Despite being the greatest star, you’re so gracious. This really makes me reflect on myself.”
“Me too.”

The MCs were praising me as they looked on.
No, it’s not humility.
What is this even—
I was definitely at the Platinum Music Awards just moments ago.
Why did I suddenly come here?
And to this moment where Baek Nok-ha is receiving the Grand Prize?

“Congratulations, Nok-ha.”

Cha-yul!
Cha-yul smiled brightly and handed me the award.
Right.
The presenter at this moment was Cha-yul.
Memories began returning to me, piece by piece.

“Our Nok-ha, congratulations. Why are you so surprised? Of course the Grand Prize is yours!”

Cha-yul whispered directly into my ear.
Strangely, her voice brought me back to my senses.
Cha-yul wasn’t calling me ‘Yun Chung’.
She called me ‘our Nok-ha’.
I am… Baek Nok-ha.
Right now, I’m not Yun Chung, but Baek Nok-ha.
Get it together, Baek Nok-ha.
You can’t ruin this moment of receiving the Grand Prize.

“First, I’d like to express my gratitude to everyone who helped me get here.”

As always, I smiled brightly, letting my joy shine through.
But the people watching me had touched expressions on their faces.
What? In that moment of confusion.
I felt a warm sensation on my cheeks.
Ah.
Could it be that I’m….
crying?

***

“Nok-ha! You did so well, my girl. I’m so proud of you, my girl. Goodness, I’d love to give you a kiss, really. I’m holding back because I don’t want to ruin your makeup.”

The moment the awards ceremony ended, Baek Ju-ha rushed over to me.

“Wow, three years in a row. Do you know how rare this award is? I have to touch it once myself.”
“Ju-ha unnie.”
“Hm? Oh, should I not touch it?”

Baek Ju-ha looked at my expression and seemed flustered.

“Mom… is our mom okay?”
“Mother?”

Baek Ju-ha looked at me with a puzzled expression.

“Mom is… probably watching the awards ceremony at home right now. Why? Is there something you’re worried about?”

The moment I heard those words, my legs gave out beneath me.
It’s done.
I… I actually did it.
None of it was a dream.

“…No. It’s nothing.”
“What’s wrong with you? You won the Grand Prize, but you look like… something’s off.”
“No, no. It’s just… I’m so overwhelmed right now.”
“Is this your first time winning the Grand Prize? You’re something else. Your modesty is practically a disease.”

Baek Ju-ha shook her head vigorously.

“Let’s go home. Unnie. I really, really miss Mom….”
“Huh?”

Only then did Baek Ju-ha seem to notice something was off.
But she didn’t ask further.
She simply nodded.

***

When I arrived home.
Snow was falling heavily across the entire apartment complex.
It was an absolutely insane blizzard.
That’s strange.
Did it snow this much that day?
I pushed through the snow that blanketed the entire world and stepped inside.

“Mom.”
“Nok-ha?”

Mom was there.

“Mom….”

Mom was really there, in the condition I knew her to be… and she was well.

“Why are you like this? You won the Grand Prize, but you look so sad.”
“Mom. You’re such a fool, Mom….”

I buried myself in my mother’s arms and sobbed uncontrollably.

“Mom, why do you leave the gas burner on while you sleep…?”
“Huh?”
“I mean, why do you sleep without turning off the gas burner…?”
“How did you know that? You didn’t install a CCTV in our house, did you? This girl is hilarious. I actually came to my senses right away. I had the window open while sleeping, and snow blew inside and woke me up. But honestly, if it hadn’t been for the snow, something really bad could have happened.”

I could hear the bewilderment in my mother’s voice.
But I just cried as I pleased.
Because my mother knew nothing.
My mother knew nothing about my past year.
But my mother.
Even knowing nothing.
Patted my back the entire time I wept.
That kindness only made me cry harder.
Like the snow falling in torrents.
My tears fell in torrents.

***

“Huh?”

In my personal studio.
Baek Ju-ha tilted her head as she looked at me.

“You want me to look into these people?”

Baek Ju-ha scanned the names written on the paper I handed her.

“Seo Baek-young. Ryu Bora. Kim Geum. Yeon Ju-hong…? Yeon Ju-hong? Kim Geum?!”

Baek Ju-ha looked at me as if she couldn’t understand.

“You know these two, don’t you? They’re famous.”
“Well, I know roughly what they’re up to these days. But I don’t have a personal connection with them.”
“Then why didn’t you just ask for their numbers at the awards ceremony? Why investigate them privately?”
“…Just. Can you do me a favor, unnie?”

Baek Ju-ha looked me up and down as if I was truly strange.

“Seo Baek-young, Ryu Bora…. Both names sound so familiar…. Ryu Bora…. Where have I heard that before…. Wait.”

Baek Ju-ha’s head snapped up.

“Hey, you. Are you seriously asking me to dig up dirt on that nation’s little sister Ryu Bora right now?!”
“There are plenty of ‘nation’s little sisters’ these days. Besides, she’s not even active anyway, Ryu Bora.”
“Well, that’s true, but…. Who’s Seo Baek-young?”
“You might not remember, unnie. That girl who debuted from Colors as StillBlue.”

There was a girl group that flopped after just a year.
She was one of them.

“Oh. I remember now. I watched that show. She was actually pretty talented. Just had terrible luck with her teammates.”
“Right?”
“Kim Ryeo-yu and Jo Hee-on completely ruined it, didn’t they.”

That was true.
I let out a bitter laugh.

“Do you remember that girl Yun Chung from there?”
“Yun Chung? Who was that…. Oh, the lead vocalist?”
“Yeah.”
“Hmm, well. I do remember her. She had a nice voice. No stage presence though.”
“Right.”
“I felt bad for her, honestly. The ones who really deserved the hate didn’t get any, but she took it all.”

I laughed bitterly.
So this was how people remembered StillBlue.

“I have no idea what she’s doing these days. She’s probably doing fine, whatever.”
“…Yeah, probably.”

Though that was likely far from the truth.
I didn’t ask her to look into Yun Chung.
No matter how she was living now.
The moment I heard news about her, my heart would feel uncomfortable.

“Alright, I’ll look into all of it. But why the sudden interest…?”
“Just…. A bit….”

I hesitated, carefully choosing my words.
What should I say?
What was I really feeling?
Did I want to go back to that time?
Or….

“I wanted to get closer to you all.”

Simply.
I missed those people so much.

***

“Hello~”

A spacious Practice Room.
This was the Practice Room of the most popular Dance Studio these days.
The hour when all the students had left.
I visited this place quietly.
Despite being used by many people, the Practice Room was kept immaculately clean.

“How can I help-”

Seo Baek-young was there.

“Oh, um…. Baek Nok-ha?”

Seo Baek-young’s expression turned flustered the moment she saw me.

“You know who I am….”
“I think there’s hardly anyone in South Korea who doesn’t know Baek Nok-ha…. Haha.”
“Ah.”

Seo Baek-young laughed awkwardly.
I also felt awkward and couldn’t say anything.
It had been so long since I’d seen Seo Baek-young not recognize me—it felt strange.
Seo Baek-young looked at me with a puzzled expression and asked.

“But what brings you here…?”

Ah.
I needed to answer.
I had prepared words to say.
But my lips wouldn’t move.
Seo Baek-young looked flustered when I said nothing.
Then, as if she’d figured it out on her own.
She lifted her head.

“Did you come to request choreography?”
“Oh, yes. That’s right.”
“You’re preparing a new song! I’ve been listening to Baek Nok-ha’s music. I especially love 【Eternal Summer】. Oh, that came out so long ago…. Anyway, I enjoy all of it.”

That’s a song you performed too.
I forced the corners of my mouth upward.

“Um, Baek-young… ma’am.”

I almost called her unnie.
I corrected myself.

“Yes?”
“I….”

What are you doing these days?
Don’t you miss those times with StillBlue?
You gave up being an idol, something you wanted so desperately.
Are you really okay with that?
You were the most earnest among us.
You were the one who found the most happiness in StillBlue.

“I want to create choreography for 【Eternal Summer】 concert version. Would you be willing to help?”

But the conflicting words tangled in my mouth, unspoken.
I only managed different words instead.
Seo Baek-young looked at me with surprised eyes, then smiled softly.
That same smile I had always relied on.

“Of course. It’s my favorite song. I should be the one asking you.”

***

Ding.
A soft bell chimed.

“Welcome.”

The cafe door opened.

“Hello.”

A pristine white cafe.
It reflected its owner perfectly—neat and understated.
A movie played from a projector in one corner of the cafe.
That one….
Ryu Bora’s favorite film.

“I’ll help you with your order.”

As if entranced, I stepped up to the counter.
Ryu Bora stared at the register with her characteristic indifferent expression.
She didn’t even look at me, and yet….
Her appearance remained exactly the same.
The dry timbre of her voice, her measured gestures, her compact features—all unchanged.
Just one thing.
Ryu Bora, when she wasn’t looking at me, felt so….

“Customer?”

When I said nothing, Ryu Bora finally lifted her head and looked at me.
Only then did my heart, which had sunk, begin to beat again.
You were always watching me.
Now that I think about it, whenever I turned to look at Ryu Bora….
She was always watching me first.
As if asking for help, or waiting in case I might ask.

“Do you have any ades?”

Ryu Bora stared at me intently.
It seemed like she recognized me, yet also like she didn’t.

“We have blueberry ade and green grape ade. Which would you prefer?”
“…Green grape ade, please.”
“Yes, that’ll be 5,700 won. Let me process your payment.”

Her voice remained utterly flat throughout.
I handed over my card and accepted the vibrating buzzer from Ryu Bora.
Yet I couldn’t bring myself to return to my seat.
Nowhere in this cafe….

“Customer?”

It felt as though I had no place here.

“Could I get this as takeout instead, please?”
“…Of course.”

Only then did Ryu Bora regard me with an odd, piercing stare.
I couldn’t meet that gaze.
I fled, taking the ade and hurrying out.

***

I encountered Yeon Ju-hong much later.
Quite some time had passed.
To be honest, meeting Yeon Ju-hong was the most difficult of all.
After I’d sought out Seo Baek-young and Ryu Bora.
I’d stopped searching for the other members for a while.
I knew them, but they didn’t know me at all.
And witnessing my members living such entirely different lives, walking such different paths.
It was far more shocking than I’d anticipated.
Even with all the mental preparation I’d done beforehand.
And yet.
This encounter was unavoidable.

“Hello, senior.”
“Yes, hello, Ju-hong.”

Of all people, Yeon Ju-hong and I had been invited simultaneously to the radio program that Cha-yul hosted.
I wasn’t exactly unfamiliar with Yeon Ju-hong.
We’d crossed paths often enough in the backstage areas of music broadcasts.
Though we’d never really had a proper conversation.
…But why was that?
Yeon Ju-hong was a collector of older sisters.
The type who’d strike up a conversation with anyone, even strangers.
So why had she never approached me?
…Did she not like me?
Unsettled by the thought, I took a sip of water.

“….”

Cha-yul’s expression looked strange.
What was wrong with her now?
I gestured to Cha-yul to step outside with me.

“What’s wrong?”

The Waiting Room was empty.
I handed Cha-yul a coffee and asked.

“It’s nothing. Just… uncomfortable.”
“Uncomfortable? With me?”
“You? Of course not. Someone else.”

Today’s guests were only Yeon Ju-hong and me.

“Yeon Ju-hong makes you uncomfortable? Why?”

Cha-yul looked at me with a sullen expression.

“How can you be even more clueless about entertainment industry gossip than I am?”
“I’m just not interested.”
“Yeon Ju-hong’s a total psycho, I’m telling you.”
“A… psycho?”

Who?
Yeon Ju-hong?
Two words that didn’t match at all left me bewildered.

“She’s completely oversensitive. I’m sensitive too, but she’s really…. She acts like she has some kind of misanthropy.”

…That Yeon Ju-hong?
The one who’d follow anyone she met for the first time if you just gave her candy?

“Yeon Ju…hong? Why?”
“You didn’t know? She was famous for that…. Agency issues. She left Colors in disgust, and the only place she ended up joining was MidBless….”

MidBless.
The moment I heard that word, my heart sank.
But in this world, MidBless was….

“Anyway, she made it big for sure…. But the girl’s a bit crazy. She’s professional when the camera’s on. But when it’s off, you can’t even talk to her.”
“I had no idea….”
“Well, you only talk to people who approach you first.”

Cha-yul sighed.

“Anyway, she’s sensitive, so don’t talk to her carelessly.”

After hearing that, how could I not approach her?
The moment I returned to the radio booth, I saw Yeon Ju-hong.

“….”

There it was.
Not the bright, cheerful expression of Yeon Ju-hong I knew.
Eyes devoid of life.
Lips that didn’t twitch even slightly….
It was a side of Yeon Ju-hong I’d never seen before.
Then.

“Is there something you need from me?”

Yeon Ju-hong noticed my gaze and looked at me.

“Ah… um….”

I didn’t really have anything specific to say.
I just wanted to ask if she was doing okay, but I couldn’t quite say that.

“Would you like some candy?”
“Pardon?”
“I have some candy….”

I pulled a piece of candy from my pocket.
I’d bought Yeon Ju-hong’s favorite candy from the convenience store in front of the Broadcasting Station earlier.
Though I hadn’t expected to give it to her like this.

“What, are you trying to bribe me with candy right now?”
“Huh?”
“Are you treating me like a child?”

Well….
She is a child….
Except she’s 27 now.
The word “bribe” coming from Yeon Ju-hong’s mouth was unexpected.
I wasn’t sure whether to find this refreshing or not.

“No, that’s not it…. Do you dislike candy?”
“I have to watch my weight, so I don’t eat things like that. You should have plenty, senior.”

The girl who used to always have candy in her mouth?
Now that I thought about it, Yeon Ju-hong looked far more gaunt than the Yeon Ju-hong I knew.
How was she even managing with a body like that….
I frowned.

“We’re starting soon, Nok-ha.”

That’s when Cha-yul interjected.
Just like that.
My meeting with Yeon Ju-hong came to an end.

***

“Hey there~”

I met Kim Geum not long after meeting Yeon Ju-hong.
The shock of meeting Yeon Ju-hong had actually jolted me back to my senses.
I realized that now was not the time to run away.
I asked Baek Ju-ha to invite Kim Geum to our company.
Under the pretense of wanting to work on a song together.

“Wow, an award-winning artist inviting me over.”
“Kim Geum was a nominee too, though.”
“There’s a difference between being a nominee and actually winning.”

Kim Geum was the member who had changed the least.
Though she was active as a solo rapper, her personality and musical style remained virtually unchanged.
Of course, without the need for filtering, the internet’s opinions had become even more polarized….

“But don’t you think your style and mine are too different? Why did you suddenly summon me like this?”
“Well…”
“Don’t tell me you’re going to rap too. Don’t take away someone’s livelihood.”
“…I don’t really have much talent for rapping.”
“Oh really? You seem like you’d be good at it though.”

I thought seeing someone unchanged would put my mind at ease….
It didn’t.
Not at all.

“Are you looking for a feature from me? Or do you want to take one of my songs? Mine doesn’t really mesh well with your style.”
“…Kim Geum.”
“Yes?”
“How do you feel about your solo career?”

Kim Geum looked at me with eyes asking what on earth I was talking about.

“Aren’t you a solo artist too? What kind of answer are you looking for?”
“I’m just curious how Kim Geum feels about it.”
“Hmm.”

Kim Geum still looked suspicious, but she began to consider my question.

“I think it suits me well.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. In the end, we all live alone and die alone anyway. I’ve never been fond of being around others.”
“….”
“But doing activities together too? Hmm. I must have hated that.”

Kim Geum let out a soft laugh.

“Back then… didn’t you want to become an idol?”
“Oh, that?”

Kim Geum raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders.

“That’s ancient history. Me, an idol? I really don’t think it would have suited me at all, don’t you?”

No.
Even Kim Geum, who seemed unchanged, had transformed.
She had changed far too much.
Everything had.
Changed so much that I could never accept it.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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