A Contract Marriage with My Child’s Father - Chapter 66
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 66
‘Did I look anxious in Cain’s eyes?’
I thought I was fine. But hearing that I appeared unstable enough for others to notice, I could finally admit it now.
‘I wondered why I’ve been so restless lately, not wanting to rest…’
I remembered there was something I had wanted to tell him.
The matter wasn’t finished just because Morden was locked up in prison. There was still an important story left unfinished.
“Um, Your Grace.”
I set down my teacup and carefully opened my mouth.
“I would like to report on the events that have occurred, albeit belatedly.”
Seeing Cain nod his chin as if telling me to continue, I slowly began to speak.
“…Not long ago, Young Master Jayden’s condition improved, so I allowed him sword lessons.”
Starting with those first words, I poured out everything that had happened like a bursting dam.
The unreasonable treatment Sir Eugene suffered, of course, and the ominous signs I felt while being with Jayden.
And even the conversations that passed between Morden and me when we clashed.
I was merely reporting what happened while he was away from the manor, but my voice, which had been calm at first, gradually began to tremble.
“Young Master sometimes… looked anxious. But I still…”
Though I had tried to suppress my emotions, my hands were already trembling.
It was because of the guilt that had settled inside me.
I felt something welling up inside.
“I’m sorry. I… failed to protect Young Master.”
The apology that burst out impulsively was what I had wanted to say most.
‘Jayden getting sick this time was my fault.’
I had promised to ensure he wouldn’t fall ill again.
I failed to protect Jayden.
No matter that the child hadn’t honestly told me what was happening, that couldn’t serve as an excuse.
As the adult, I should have paid more attention. I should have noticed somehow and helped.
Thinking of the time Jayden suffered alone in silence made my heart feel like it was breaking.
I had failed to fulfill my responsibility.
Suddenly overwhelmed, tears welled up in my eyes.
Ugh. How foolish.
What was I trying to cry about when I hadn’t done anything right?
I felt so pathetic that I couldn’t lift my head at all.
Without realizing it, I clenched my hands into tight fists on the table.
“My responsibility in this matter is great. I will gladly accept any punishment-“
“Stop.”
Cain, who had been listening silently all along, cut off my words decisively.
Soon, a large warmth covered the back of my hand. It was Cain’s firm hand.
He gently wrapped around my fist, which was clenched so tight it had turned white, and slowly opened it.
“I didn’t call you here to impose any punishment on you.”
“But…”
“The investigation is already finished. It was an unavoidable incident from the start, and the culprit has received appropriate punishment. Everything has been resolved.”
When I unconsciously tried to clench my fist again in anxiety, his long fingers intertwined to stop me, locking our hands together.
Cain looked straight into my eyes and said,
“You have always done your best. That’s all.”
Though his voice was calm and firm, it was clearly meant as comfort.
Was that really true?
I still couldn’t be certain.
The self-blame that if I had just tried a little harder, Jayden wouldn’t have fallen ill, wouldn’t disappear.
However, one thing became clear.
Blaming myself and cowering like this wouldn’t improve the situation.
I needed to shake it off and gather my strength so this wouldn’t happen again.
That was the way to help Jayden.
Perhaps because my expression had improved, Cain’s atmosphere also softened.
But soon he added in a deliberately stern voice,
“Still, there’s one thing I must say. Don’t do that next time.”
“Ah…”
“Morden is a Sword Master. No matter how fearless you are, it would be better to size up your opponent before charging in.”
The members nearby would have stopped it if necessary, but it was a situation where you could have died.
He added as if giving sincere advice.
Everything he said was right.
At the same time, these were words spoken out of concern for me.
I should have just answered that I understood, that I would be careful.
Unfortunately, what came out of my mouth wasn’t agreement.
“…I’m sorry. I can’t promise that.”
As if he hadn’t expected such an answer, Cain’s brow furrowed.
I continued hesitantly,
“I taught Melody that you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep. But I can’t lie.”
I knew it was quite an impudent answer, but this was my honest feeling.
If I returned to that day’s situation again, would I be able to not shout at Morden?
No matter how carefully I thought about it and looked back several times, I would have acted the same way.
‘I know it wasn’t a very wise choice.’
And that it was a hair-trigger situation where I could have died.
Even so, my thought that I would act the same way if such a situation came again hadn’t changed.
During my time at the Deborae Marquis’ household, I faced countless acts of violence.
Those hellish days I don’t even want to remember now.
The violence I suffered was familiar, so I could somehow endure it…
The day I met Melody, who had lived a life similar to mine, I made a vow to myself.
Never to turn away again.
Never to crumble in the face of blatant malice.
Children learn quickly.
Just as I learned to give up in the face of violence in my childhood, if I crumbled before malice, Melody might grow up crying through every night like I did. The same went for Jayden.
‘I don’t want that.’
I hoped there would be no more children in this world who became accustomed to violence like me.
I hoped they would live with at least the hope that they could fight back.
That was my resolve, firmly rooted in the deepest part of my unconscious.
That’s why I had no confidence I would act differently even in the same situation.
No matter how reckless it might be.
So I answered like this for now, but…
‘What am I doing, really.’
Emerging from my brief contemplation, I made a troubled expression.
I could have just said I understood.
But I had to go and say I couldn’t do it, making weak excuses.
Cain had said it out of concern for me.
Feeling sorry, I watched his reaction and tried to salvage the situation even now.
“No, I mean, sorry. Please pretend you didn’t hear that…”
Was he angry? For spouting unnecessary nonsense.
But when I slightly raised my gaze from the floor to look at Cain, he had a completely unexpected expression.
Along with a deflated laugh, he looked down at me with a faint smile.
“I see… Because that’s the kind of person you are.”
His quietly muttered voice was barely audible.
“Pardon? What did you say?”
Cain wiped away his expression as if he had never smiled and asked with deliberate bluntness.
“So the gist is, you’re saying you’ll cause trouble like this again in the future?”
That wasn’t exactly what I meant, but I couldn’t strongly deny it either. Given all the trouble I’d caused so far.
I glanced around nervously, eyes wide, and timidly nodded my head.
“I’m truly sorry to the Duke who worries about me, but… yes.”
“That’s troublesome. I made a contract to protect you. Yet you keep throwing yourself into danger and causing accidents.”
“Ugh…”
“I told you to at least eat properly while I was away from the manor, but it seems you didn’t even do that.”
“I, I did eat fairly well though…”
“Even like this?”
He gestured toward my arm with his chin.
It wasn’t a lie that I had been eating, so I felt somewhat wronged, but I couldn’t say anything.
It was true that I had lost some weight from staying up nights caring for Jayden.
“Did you eat lunch?”
“…Not yet.”
“It’s 4 o’clock?”
His eyes seemed to say, go ahead and try making more excuses, making me flinch.
“I, I’m sorry…”
Was this how Melody felt every time she got caught not brushing her teeth?
In the end, I could only roll my eyes around.
Seeing me finally become docile, he chuckled and suddenly stood up.
“Get up.”
“Pardon?”
I stood up from my seat somewhat bewildered, and he gestured for me to follow.
“Since you won’t listen. I’m thinking of starting surveillance now.”
When I tilted my head, not understanding what he meant, he added.
“Let’s go eat.”
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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