Your Majesty, Dinner Is Ready. - Chapter 99
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Episode 99 — One of These People
“This one’s quite impressive!”
Pat-pat-pat!
Brunelda laughed heartily and clapped me on the back.
Though her hand gesture was clearly meant as praise, my body was being buffeted about as if I’d been struck by a fist.
“You showed up looking like him because you knew I’ve been dreaming of a bout with the guild leader?”
“Yes. If I had borrowed someone else’s appearance, you would not have wavered in the slightest.”
“A real demon, you are!”
Thump-thump-thump-thump!
“Thank you. Though it’s getting rather painful.”
“Kaha-ha-ha!”
“Ah, you needn’t hold back anymore. I think my back’s already broken.”
“Even your jokes are amusing!”
“I wasn’t joking, but in any case, thank you.”
I had passed Brunelda’s test without incident.
Thunder Boom plus Transformation.
One of the finest combinations a multi-faith Half-Elf Socialite chosen by Kar could deploy—a feat worthy of celebration.
Naturally, it was a single-use deception that wouldn’t work twice, but since I’d never face this person as a foe again, I could afford to expose my tactics completely and bare myself without reservation.
“Well fought. That was a clever strategy.”
“So a rising star explorer really is something else, isn’t he? I tried the same approach in a sparring match and was thrown out in ten seconds flat!”
A pair of regular guild members participating in the Guild War approached and spoke warmly to me.
《Spirit Archer Lai (Precious Elf, 73 years old). Special ability: Spirit Magic. A composed temperament befitting his race.》
《Terramea’s Monk Dran (Half-Beast, 25 years old). Special ability: Respite. A devoted follower of the Goddess of War, he possesses overwhelming strength that transcends his species’ natural limits.》
The two of them were the strongest tier among the Ash Gray Wolf Guild’s Level-7 explorers.
Seasoned veterans with skill and experience in abundance.
Because Guild War Dungeons employed the gimmick of equalizing all participants to the same level, greater seniority was undoubtedly a marked advantage.
“Congratulations, Kar!”
The sub-leader Yallen, who approached a step behind the other guild members, bounded around me excitedly.
To anyone’s eye, she looked like an innocent child.
“…….”
“.…Hmm.”
Lai and Dran deliberately averted their gaze from the sprightly Dwarf sub-leader.
“Since you’ve won against Brunelda in a sparring match, you should be able to achieve great results in the Guild War too? I can spend from today onward in anticipation, right?”
《True meaning: If you don’t put on a proper show, know you’ll be thoroughly embarrassed. Accept this bomb of pressure!》
I looked down at Yallen and spoke with confidence.
“Pack your expectations to the maximum. I am a Half-Elf capable of achieving even beyond that. Perhaps you might even receive a revelation equivalent to the descent of a deity.”
“…Is that so?”
“Truthfully, I’m a little frightened. I worry that Guild Leader Targon might grab the hem of my pants and beg me to please continue working as a guild member. My heart is weak, you see, so I might just waver a little if that happens.”
“…….”
The Dwarf’s clear expression crumbled in an instant.
The watching guild members turned their heads away and covered their mouths, barely suppressing their laughter.
“Kaha-ha! I told you he was funny!”
Brunelda struck my waist again with solid thumps.
My body fluttered like paper wherever her hands made contact.
“Excellent! From today on, you’re part of my tribe! I’ll call you ‘Kar, Tribal Member’!”
“Then buy me something delicious, Chieftain.”
“Quick to adapt—even better! Come on, we’re in the middle of a festival; there’s a feast of fine food everywhere!”
“…Wait a moment. Brunelda!”
Yallen urgently stopped the savage sub-leader, who was linking her arm through mine and heading out.
“Couldn’t we save the meal for later? We need to conduct joint training and strategy meetings in preparation for the Guild War.”
“Bah! A hundred days of training won’t matter. What counts is real combat.”
“A wise observation, Chieftain!”
I switched into flatterer Socialite mode and rubbed my hands together.
It could be said that a person holding a position ending in “leader” requires a scheming courtier hovering at their side to achieve true dignity.
“And you can handle the strategy yourself, Yallen. You’re a Schemer by class—aren’t you the expert in that field?”
“Every word from your mouth is pure truth, Chieftain!”
“……”
The Dwarf sub-leader looked at me with eyes that flickered slightly, then bent her lips awkwardly into a smile.
“Alright! Now that I think about it, Brunelda’s right…!”
“Since Yallen agrees, let’s all get out there and enjoy the festival!”
“That’s a nice touch.”
“Wonderful!”
Brunelda strode straight out, and the other guild members fell into step behind her.
“Yallen.”
Just before I followed them out, I spoke softly and placed a hand on her slender shoulder.
“…What is it?”
…….
I met her eyes in silence, then leaned close and whispered near her ear.
“You’re counted among the top five masterminds in Pletika, and I have every confidence you’ll play a crucial role in the Guild War.”
It wasn’t veiled pressure.
I was someone who made a genuine effort to speak politely and respectfully to everyone—there was no way I’d do such a thing.
I was a Socialite whose surface matched her depths.
“Please focus solely on keeping our guild members alive. I’ll handle everything else.”
Yallen stared at me blankly for a moment, then slowly looked away.
“…All right.”
Pat, pat.
“I look forward to it.”
Having bowed respectfully to the Vice-Master, I spent the rest of the time bonding warmly with our guild members in preparation for the coming Guild War.
So this was what made festivals so enjoyable.
For the first time, I could see just how tediously I’d lived—working endlessly, gaming, and indulging in only the occasional small escape.
“Safe travels!”
“Farewell.”
After soaking in the festive atmosphere all day, night fell and I made my way to the inn our companions had secured.
It was an expensive, upscale establishment—more like a hotel than a traditional inn—with spacious, immaculately clean rooms.
“You’ve arrived, Kar.”
“Welcome.”
I was sharing a room with the ward siblings.
They’d enjoyed the festival thoroughly; the room was scattered with wolf masks, biscuits, toy claws, and dolls.
“Did you have fun?”
“I finally figured out that the 6th District is a really boring neighborhood!”
“Well, it’s mainly Priests living there, so it can’t be helped.”
After a quick wash and changing into a robe, I found Rachel already waiting outside the bathroom, her head bowed respectfully.
“I’ve completed the task you assigned me.”
“Thank you for your work.”
I gestured while drying my wet hair with the Flame Wave Spell.
Rachel caught on immediately and began her report.
“I’ve been making rounds through the taverns frequented by gossips well-informed about the headquarters of the five guilds participating in the Guild War—excluding the Ash Gray Wolf—and about happenings in the 3rd District. I wore a wolf mask and changed my clothes and Stealth Art Secret Arts each time, so my intelligence gathering shouldn’t have been noticed.”
“Your work is excellent. I’ll mention it to Sergius.”
I hadn’t expected her to be this thorough.
Indeed, my butler—a master instructor with decades of intelligence work—was truly in a league of his own.
“According to my investigation, there are exactly three explorers matching the conditions you specified. Here’s the list.”
I quickly scanned the note Rachel handed me.
[Unforgotten Turtle Guild / Laenis (Precious Elf Pure Mage)]
[Grand Warrior Guild / Heaviclo (Bear Beastkin Berserker)]
[White Jade Hand Guild / Mordan Emberhammer (Eastern Continent Dwarf Blacksmith)]
One of these three.
The Six Apostles’ Conspirator was among them.
Which one, I couldn’t say for certain.
The Conspirator’s disguise target was randomized each time.
‘Laenis, Heaviclo, Mordan.’
A delicate Precious Elf, a bear beastkin with a build rivaling Targon’s, a short Eastern Continent Dwarf.
Each had distinctly different physical characteristics.
Considering the nature of the Conspirator’s ninja-class Secret Art, Flesh Garment….
“…Heh.”
A faint smile spread across my face unbidden.
Now I understood what strategy the Conspirator had devised.
“Why are you smiling?”
“Just something trivial.”
Nightmare Dungeon playtime: 20,800 hours.
Guild War experience—I hadn’t counted, but easily over a thousand times.
The scheme meticulously devised by the Six Apostles who basked in the favor of the Demon Realm’s blessing was, to me, merely one among a catalog of standardized patterns.
***
The battlefield for a Guild War is the Dungeon.
Though the rewards were so meager that Exploration Expeditions had abandoned it, the Dungeon was suited for competition.
The entrance consisted of two fragments that had to be fitted together and held in place to open the way; each fragment could be freely moved to other locations.
Thus, it currently sat proudly in the center of an elliptical arena at the 3rd District Eastern Lively Promenade.
– Thank you all for your patience!
Clang, clang.
The announcer’s voice resonated through the Voice Amplification Magic Device.
The spectators filling every seat erupted in cheers all at once.
– I’m Dilmo, the Vice Guild Master of the Ash Gray Wolf Guild, and I’ll be hosting today’s Guild War!
《Vice Guild Master Dilmo (underground gnome, fifty-two years old). His Level is lower than other Vice Guild Masters at seven, but his Wisdom is the finest among all the thoughtful gnomes.》
That gnome over there was the very person who had painstakingly gathered the minute clues scattered by the conspirator and concluded that Rigoberto was indeed the traitor who had leaked information to the outside.
Moreover, thanks to his nature of conducting everything without leaving a blemish, he was the Guild member most capable of serving as the fairest of hosts.
– The exploration competition of six guilds! Which guild will claim the glory of administrative control over the 3rd District?
Waaahhh-!
Cheers and applause erupted from the seats like lightning.
– The Guild War features the Ash Gray Wolf Guild, the current administrative power of the 3rd District, and the five guilds with the best performance over the past two years! Watch to see whether power will shift this time or remain in the domain of the wolves!
Dilmo lifted his head sharply.
That dramatic gesture was displayed at a perfectly angled view on the floating Broadcast Crystal screen overhead.
Beyond that, it would be streaming across the entire 3rd District through imaging devices installed throughout the district.
– Now for our participant introductions. First, the Unforgotten Turtle Guild, which achieved the feat of conquering the A-Rank Dungeon, the Flaming Sea, in merely a month!
The guild members in explorer gear bearing red turtle shells neither waved at the crowd nor made any greeting—they simply stood silently, like their guild’s name suggested.
At the very front stood a middle-aged Warrior.
“Impregnable” Lufrité.
He was the second-strongest among all the participants, surpassed only by Targon.
“I’ve always wanted to cross blades with that man.”
Brunelda showed her competitive spirit, eyeing the guild master of the Unforgotten Turtle Guild.
I was watching a different guild member—the one standing directly behind the guild master.
Laenis, a Precious Elf like Elvira, Targon’s secretary.
A watchlist explorer.
– Next, the Eyebeam Bear Love Guild, which impressively conquered the Great Pirate’s Den, an unexplored dungeon for four years!
“Yes, we’re that amazing guild!”
“Give it a shout!”
Explorers dressed in cute uniforms bearing eyebeam bears waved their arms and bounced about, drawing reactions from the crowd.
Quite the contrast to the dull guild next to them.
After that came introductions of the other participating guilds, each flaunting their own distinct character.
– The Grand Warrior Guild, which succeeded in conquering no fewer than twenty-nine B-Rank or higher Dungeons!
A Warrior-focused guild led by Heaviclo, a bear-man with a fiery temperament and bulk comparable only to Targon’s, yet opposite in personality.
– The White Jade Hand Guild, which uncovered the Hidden Piece of the Demon Realm Fortress, a mystery unsolved for the past ten years!
A guild centered on Eradra, a Dragon-Blooded artisan, with craftsman-class explorers as its backbone.
– And finally, the Shooting Star Guild, participating in a Guild War for the first time! Please give a hearty round of applause to those who found the breakthrough in conquering the A-Rank Dungeon, Tiger Slaughter Hell!
That one I could skip over.
Then it was our turn at last.
– By now, we hardly need to list each achievement—you all know how extraordinary they are!
Dilmo had barely opened his mouth when the spectator seating erupted in noise far greater than before.
– The administrative power of the 3rd District! The Ash Gray Wolf Guild, undisputedly the greatest guild in Pletika!
Yesssss-!!
The spectator seats flared hot with fervor at the announcer’s passionate cry.
A torrent of brilliant gazes poured down with the roar.
The kind of attention that might have overwhelmed an introverted family.
‘Quite a lot, isn’t it.’
I’m far more taciturn and shy than most, but I don’t fear being the object of such focused gaze.
Rather, my heart races.
What if, under this enormous weight of attention, I became the reason the guild lost? How mortifying that would be, how my face would burn?
Even when I was dragged to that absurd male idol competition and delivered rapid-fire raps before botching the lyrics, my heart hadn’t so much as flickered—but this time, it would surely be different.
“I’m already quite curious how a loser will feel.”
“Haha! Kar, your trash talk is first-rate, isn’t it?”
At Brunelda’s words, a few explorers from the neighboring Shooting Star Guild shot me a glare.
When I waved at them in greeting, they all flinched for some reason and turned away their heads.
What’s the problem?
– Before we begin the Guild War, I’ll explain some simple rules and the laws of the Dungeon!
The announcer Dilmo savored the roar of the crowd for a moment before gesturing to the fragments placed in the center.
The Sun and Moon Fragments—each one only half complete.
《The entrance to the Battlefield of Sun and Moon. You can only enter by placing them together and touching them.》
– The stage of this Guild War, the B-Rank Dungeon called the Battlefield of Sun and Moon, is a ruin from ages past. Adventurers who enter the Dungeon will be randomly divided into the “Sun Battlefield” and the “Moon Battlefield”!
Dilmo swept his arm toward the sun floating in the sky as he continued.
– Collect a total of six Primordial Fragments from each location, and you’ll be able to enter the tower leading to the depths! The condition for clearing it—and the condition for winning the Guild War—is to obtain the sacred relic housed in the depths: the Orb of Lumeran! You might think it sounds too simple, no?
It seemed straightforward enough at first glance, but the actual conditions were far more demanding than that.
There was a reason it was B-Rank, after all.
– Throughout the Dungeon, Broadcast Crystals have been installed by the Dungeon Management Bureau, illuminating every corner! We’re watching your exploits in real time from all across the 3rd District, so please ensure fair competition!
“Kar, if any of your tribesmen wish to hide certain Secret Arts or Artifacts, refrain from using them. Our guild members have already exposed theirs, so it doesn’t matter for us.”
“You must have worked hard to acquire new Secret Art Tomes and tools for the Guild War. That’s unfortunate.”
“Not at all. If the enemies grow stronger, all the better. It’ll make them that much more satisfying to crush.”
“!”
I gave Brunelda a thumbs up.
True to her Northern barbarian roots, she clearly understood what “joy” meant.
– Now, I must emphasize the most important point!
Dilmo raised one hand with an exaggerated flourish.
– Within the Battlefield of Sun and Moon, Vampires and Ghouls are waging a fierce war to claim the sacred relic sleeping in the depths for themselves! As adventurers, you will become Vampires loyal to the ancient Vampire Lord Himatuth Anteste!
Ghouls who serve Solmiran, the radiant creator of the sun.
Vampires who serve Selvaran, the wise judge of the moon.
For countless ages, these two factions have waged endless wars of intrigue and scheming.
– The spiritual tier of all participants will be uniformly adjusted to Level 5, and everyone’s physical abilities will be equalized as well! Note that if you die, you’ll be immediately ejected outside, so rest assured!
It was an explanation I found difficult to make sense of.
The inability to stake our lives actually diminished the allure of the expedition somewhat, didn’t it?
– Participants, are you all ready?
Even if they weren’t, no adventurer still here would be the type to turn back now—they wouldn’t have made it to the Guild War in the first place.
Dilmo scanned the gathered guild members, some stretching, others chatting leisurely, before he finally bellowed with all his might.
– Then let the Guild War begin!
“Let’s go. Time to claim victory.”
With Targon’s matter-of-fact encouragement, we stepped into the Dungeon.
In that moment, only one thought consumed my mind.
‘What am I going to say in my victory speech?’
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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