Your Majesty, Dinner Is Ready. - Chapter 170

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Episode 170 — E-rank Dungeon: The Endless Wasteland?
A vast wasteland stretched across the entire field of view.
All that was visible was rust-red earth, shimmering with heat.
Scattered here and there were large clusters of boulders and towering hills.
“This is the Northern Continent.”
I began offering a brief explanation of the background as I carefully retrieved the Flying Device from my Subspace and fastened it on.
“Huh? Isn’t the Northern Continent supposed to be cold most of the time?”
Silphren tilted her head as she let Bingbing out of the Cage Artifact.
This hasty fire elf had no interest whatsoever in matters unrelated to flying, so she knew nothing of what the Endless Wasteland was like as a Dungeon.
“Usually, cool winds blow year-round there, and you only get truly pleasant weather if you venture all the way to the southern reaches, isn’t that right?”
“Generally speaking, yes.”
But this wasteland was not merely warm—it was verging on hot.
Despite the absence of harsh direct sunlight, the oppressive humidity made one long to shed layers of clothing.
“Why does the temperature here differ so markedly from the rest of the Northern Continent?”
Even by the standards of this world where Secret Arts existed, phenomena and events that occasionally seemed bizarre would occur from time to time.
In such cases, one could safely blame Leria, who had once been the worst Evil Deity in ages past.
“The Socialites who serve the Watcher of the Order of Lonely Silence, Leria, are responsible for this.”
Crackle!
The snake tattoo lifted its long head with force.
Leria must have been reminiscing fondly about bygone days.
“During the Order of Lonely Silence’s most glorious era, its Socialites dedicated themselves to Faith in Leria and indiscriminately burned all the living as they worked toward the ‘mission’ of transforming the world into a quiet land of death where only the dead wandered.”
《The Wise One ridicules them for falling from patron deity to mere rabble! I’m enjoying the mockery as well. :)》
Crackle-pop!
Both Evil Deities launched simultaneous mockery.
Though their ridicule wasn’t without basis, I continued speaking as a model Socialite would, pretending ignorance.
“In the past, this place was a plain buried in snow. Since its manifestation in this Dungeon, the air and soil have become an accursed land flowing with Leria’s spiritual presence.”
“Apart from the Evil Deity’s power, I rather like this Dungeon.”
Silphren let out a soft laugh as she climbed onto Bingbing’s back.
Fire elves, born from the essence of flame, typically favored warm regions like this one.
So many had grown fond of such places that they deliberately “created” fire elves, making them targets of prejudice second only to Demon-type Beings.
“A rather disagreeable locale, if I say so myself.”
Lepicul, conscious of Silphren’s still-skeptical gaze, softened his tone deliberately.
“The spiritual presence of an Evil Deity belonging to the most negative concept in existence flows here in abundance. Truly repugnant. I wish to purify it cleanly with explosives. A sacred purification through holy detonation! Ah….”
The fake celestial’s face flushed crimson.
This caused Silphren’s eyes to narrow considerably.
I shifted my body slightly to block her line of sight and spoke again.
“As a result, the Evil Deity’s power permeates everything around us, so please refrain from deep breathing. And do not touch the soil with bare hands.”
“What happens if you do touch it…?”
I met the gaze of Brightfeather, who clutched an enormous, rainbow-hued bow against his chest, and answered.
“If you make contact with the soil for more than five minutes, your hand will gradually swell and swell due to Leria’s vitality-rich power in her prime, and eventually… pop!”
“Eek!”
Not long after his enthusiasm had been replenished, Brightfeather covered his face with his wings.
“But there is no need for concern.”
“……?”
“As I mentioned before, the Endless Wasteland is E-rank. Brightfeather, do you understand what this means?”
“If you properly study the information beforehand, you can conquer it with ease…?”
“Correct. I offer you the privilege of savoring Kar’s refreshing smile whenever you wish as your reward.”
I bent my waist and touched the soil with my right hand.
“And so long as you don’t exceed five minutes, the red earth itself becomes a convenient means of recovering vitality indefinitely.”
The minor drawback of the snake wrapping its long body around one’s spirit in an enveloping sensation could simply be ignored.
In fact, one could even say that being able to enjoy the ominous sensation alongside healing was an advantage.
“…….”
Silphren peered at Brightfeather as his head peeked cautiously between his wings, her brow furrowing slightly.
“Lai, you always keep up with the exploration reports. Yet you seem utterly unfamiliar with this Dungeon?”
“I’m not sure. The name ‘Endless Wasteland’ is unfamiliar to me too….”
“Really? Seriously?”
“It’s hardly surprising.”
Bartimir spoke up casually.
“Does Pletika have just one or two Dungeons? How could anyone in this world possibly remember the detailed characteristics of thousands upon thousands of Dungeons?”
With those words, the Demon-type daughter sent a telepathic message: “We’re friends now! Best friends!”
— Gasp! A person like that was right in front of me the whole time!
— I don’t remember everything, I’m afraid.
Information about dungeons as unstimulating as the Sky Village had long since faded from my mind.
I’m no owner of a Perfect Memory Ability — how could I memorize every last detail?
Of course, I had committed every shred of information about B-rank and above dungeons to memory without exception.
“Now that you mention it, that’s true. Besides, Silphren only encounters dungeons through newsletters and rarely enters them directly, so she probably can’t recall information as quickly as other explorers might.”
Silphren accepted the explanation without further suspicion.
With the Flying Device completely secured, I turned to face my companions and opened my mouth.
“Let’s take to the sky first.”
With wings now as familiar as limbs that had always belonged to me, I soared upward into the air.
The others followed, rising alongside me.
When everyone has their own means of flight, exploration becomes this comfortable.
“It really is vast!”
Once we’d climbed to a certain altitude, Lepicul flapped his wings lazily while scanning the ground below.
“No matter which direction I look — north, south, east, or west — all I see is horizon. What a strange affair.”
“Ah, now that you mention it, that does seem odd. Is there really terrain this expansive on the Northern Continent?”
Silphren tapped the side of her goggles thoughtfully as she studied the horizon, her brow furrowing.
“That’s strange. No matter how much I magnify, all I see is wasteland.”
“Hah! More curious still!”
“…But I have to say, that’s the stranger part. Are you really Skyborn?”
“What else would I be? ‘Doubt’ is a negative emotion — set such thoughts aside.”
While the fake Skyborn and the overeager elf were absorbed in each other, the Demon-type Being who knew nothing but dungeons drew close and spoke softly into my ear.
“Shouldn’t we tell them soon?”
A question only those who knew this dungeon’s true nature could understand.
I shook my head immediately.
“Not yet. If we reveal it too early, they won’t savor the true taste of exploration.”
“True enough.”
“For now, let’s quietly enjoy the truth until something happens.”
…?
Brightfeather, who had been eavesdropping on our conversation, blinked his eyes blankly.
I gave him a crisp wink as if our talk had been utterly innocuous, and for some reason he flinched and scurried away behind Silphren’s back.
Shortly after, Lepicul placed a hand atop my head.
“Kar, commander. Begin the proper exploration at once. Before my anticipation intoxicates me to the point of losing control of my body.”
“Understood.”
The exploration of the Endless Wasteland isn’t particularly complicated in its stages.
First, I made a request of Silphren.
“Would you fly swiftly in any direction you choose?”
“Oh! Really, I can just fly off anywhere at all?”
“Yes.”
“Sounds perfect to me!”
— Whoosh!
“Don’t worry about what comes after….”
— Screech!
She flew off before I could finish speaking.
I’d proposed exploration to see if Brightfeather could be trusted, but now that I’d given him something he enjoyed, evaluation became secondary.
— Uh… ah…—
Brightfeather, left with ‘unfamiliar’ people, studied us with anxious eyes.
……—
Bartimir and I approached the trembling parrot companion.
“At last we’ve rid ourselves of the hindrance.”
— Ehehehe…—
The Demon-type daughter emitted a ‘villainous cackle.’
— Hyack!—
Brightfeather shrank his neck and shuffled backward.
“Lepicul, would you restrain him?”
“Mm, very well then.”
“Bartimir, would you take his bow?”
— Ehehehe!—
The Demon King caught the parrot companion gently from behind as he flailed about in the air, his shoulder brushing against him lightly.
The Demon-type daughter made a rough motion as if to snatch it away, then smoothly brought the bow to herself with a gentle hand movement.
“Ugh, ahhh…”
Brightfeather’s face crumpled before his eyes squeezed shut.
But closing his eyes wouldn’t spare him from what was coming.
“Brightfeather, prepare yourself.”
“Ahhh… p-please, have mercy…”
The cold-hearted socialite paid no heed to the victim’s pleas.
I ignored his trembling voice and went through with ‘the deed that had to be done in secret from his protector.’
“Do accept this.”
I pulled a large bow from the subspace and nestled it into Brightfeather’s arms.
《Hard Mountain Echo — a masterwork》
《Increases the power of all shots. The farther the target, the higher the accuracy of fire.》
A masterwork-grade tool that had once belonged to a rogue orc ranger who ambushed our expedition at Cherry Cherry Farm.
It was a fairly excellent weapon—both its power and accuracy were superior.
The only problem was that it carried a faint taint of depravity, which is why I had to give it to him secretly.
“…Huh?”
Perhaps it was the weighty heft he felt in his arms.
Brightfeather, who had been trembling uncontrollably, slowly opened his eyes and examined the bow’s form.
He blinked mutely for a long while before finally speaking.
“What is this…?”
“A gift from me. The weapon Silphren gave you was excellent, of course, but this one is equally magnificent. I’m certain you’ll like it.”
“Ah…!”
Brightfeather studied the bow more closely, then cast a cautious glance in my direction.
“It looks nice. But…”
“But?”
“The color is a bit…”
“……”
Such a fierce sense of taste and personal conviction that even his phobia of the unfamiliar couldn’t suppress it.
I was satisfied enough to nod quietly.
If he had been so weak-willed that he couldn’t stand by his own opinion and simply praised everything others gave him out of mere politeness, I never would have brought him along on an expedition that demanded enduring all manner of hardship.
“But I can change the color myself…!”
Brightfeather transferred the cloth and paper that had been attached to his old bow onto the Hard Mountain Echo.
With that, the clunky bow was reborn as a fashion leader—though tastes might differ, its uniqueness was undeniable.
“Thank you so much…!”
Brightfeather hugged the bow to his chest and gave a deep bow.
“But…”
“But?”
“Why did you create such a scary atmosphere instead of just giving it to me?”
“Only when presented amid an aura of dread can a bow of this type truly perform at its peak.”
“There’s a bow like that?”
“Yes. The world is vast, and there are many strange and wondrous Secret Arts and tools. For reference, I myself possess a Secret Art that makes me feel better the more I’m struck by enemy attacks.”
“Wow!”
《Truly a naive joiners. It seems he shall become a target of pranks not unlike those Merlin has inflicted upon me!》
Merlin had been gradually growing more accustomed to me lately, his reactions becoming increasingly flat.
Already, I was beginning to look forward to the days ahead when Brightfeather would be out on expeditions with the rest of our party.
“Positive emotions are rising from you again, Captain Kar.”
“I can’t see positive concepts visually, but just looking at your expression tells me enough.”
The two Demon-type Beings were murmuring to each other from a distance when—
Whoooosh!
Bingbing, the sturdy great tit who had headed north earlier, came flying in our direction.
Approaching from the south.
“Huh…?”
Silphren scratched her head as Bingbing came to a stop near me.
“That’s strange. I flew in a perfectly straight line north…”
“That is precisely the true nature of this Dungeon.”
An endless Wasteland where the same space merely loops back upon itself.
An infinite plain from which no one can escape, no matter which direction they fly.
“The Conquer condition for the Endless Wasteland is simple: escape this place.”
A condition as straightforward as befits an E-rank Dungeon.
Had there been more elaborate gimmicks to obstruct our exploration, the rank would certainly be higher. But there are none.
“And I already know the way out.”
The classification is a ‘puzzle,’ so it requires complex and tedious intermediate steps, but problem-solving expeditions like this one follow a simple rule: once you know the answer, the difficulty drops sharply.
What’s amusing is that the Dungeon Management Authority rated the Endless Wasteland as E-rank for the exact same reason.
Not that the classification matters much anyway.
“I hear this Dungeon isn’t quite the type you usually prefer, Captain Kar.”
Lepicul regarded me with his arms folded across his chest.
“And yet I sense distinctly positive emotions radiating from you—growing stronger by the moment, in fact. There’s something you haven’t told us yet, isn’t there?”
“I can never hide my true thoughts from you, can I?”
I turned slowly in place, surveying the wasteland around us.
《!! ↖↖↖ !!》
After spinning around five times, Jinjil displayed a peculiar pattern.
The meaning was simple.
A formidable foe approaches.
Crack—boom!
Then, from far across the expanse, a deafening roar echoed toward us.
A sound like thunder shaking the very earth and sky.
“Ha-ha-ha-ha!”
Before my ears could fully recover from the blast, laughter reached us.
Following it came the figures whose heavy presence had announced themselves.
“…Ah.”
“So it was that!”
Silphren exhaled sharply upon identifying the one laughing so boldly, while the Demon Lord clenched his fists tight.
Beyond the wasteland, where sand and dust rose like a veil,
towering savage humanoids—easily more than twice the size of Targon, who stood well above the average adult orc—were loosening their massive frames.
Giants.
“In truth, the Dungeon we entered is not called the Endless Wasteland.”
A C-rank Dungeon.
Giant’s Hunting Ground.
“The Endless Wasteland is a Dungeon within a Dungeon—used by the giants to confine captured beings of other races and enjoy hunting them for sport.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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