Will You Cry for Me If I Die? - Chapter 81
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 81
Theodor tried to put the star fragment into the bottle but failed.
The star’s edge got caught at the entrance.
The shape was sticking out.
Theodor shook the bottle.
His wrist moved greatly.
Shaking makes the star get more stuck.
It can’t go inside.
I watched that and spoke.
My mouth opened first.
“Turn it.”
Theodor looked at me.
His eyes stuck to me.
I slightly twisted my wrist to show him.
My hand moved small.
Theodor followed exactly.
He turned it in the same direction.
The star slipped right in.
It passed through the entrance and fell inside.
Theodor became dazed for a moment.
His eyes stopped briefly.
When he gets dazed, it means I won.
It means I knew first.
I was very quietly satisfied inside.
I pressed it down so it wouldn’t come out.
Lermiel silently picked up a bottle and put in a snowflake fragment.
His hand didn’t shake.
He never shook the bottle once.
He slowly aligned the entrance.
Quietly, precisely, slowly.
The order didn’t change.
That sight was strangely cool, so my eyes lingered long.
That day Iden gave us thin silver thread.
It was a length that rested lightly on the palm.
Shiny things are dangerous, but this was a small shine.
The light wasn’t strong, it scattered thinly.
Small shines are okay.
They don’t stab the eyes.
I wrapped the silver thread around the bottle’s neck.
I slowly turned it along the glass’s round neck.
When wrapping, fingers get tangled.
The thread overlapped with each other and the path went wrong.
Getting tangled makes me angry, but I won’t get angry.
The inside of my chest briefly hardened then loosened.
Anger comes out as sound.
The mouth moves first.
Sound is a trace.
Once it remains, it can’t be erased.
I want to reduce traces.
The invisible side is more comfortable.
So instead I pressed my lips firmly and wrapped slowly again.
I let out a long breath.
Lermiel quietly watched my hand.
His gaze moved following my fingertips.
Then he loosened some of his silver thread and handed it toward me.
His hand didn’t shake.
That action was quiet.
There was almost no sound.
Quiet kindness doesn’t make my body tense.
My shoulders didn’t rise.
I took the silver thread and wrapped it more prettily around my bottle.
I matched the overlapping intervals.
The light connected in one line.
When it’s pretty, my mood gets better.
The inside becomes soft.
When my mood gets better, I become less sharp.
It feels like the edges become round.
I was unfamiliar with the less sharp me.
It wasn’t the familiar side.
Still, today I didn’t dislike that.
The unfamiliar thing lasted long.
When the work was finished, Iden took us to the window.
We left the room and passed through a short corridor.
At the window there was a small fireplace, and above it was a place to put the lanterns too.
The stone edge continued low.
The fireplace’s fire was far away so it wasn’t hot.
The heat didn’t touch directly.
If it’s not hot, it’s not scary.
If you keep distance, it’s okay.
I put up my glass bottle lantern.
I carefully placed it up with both hands.
The snowflake inside the glass bottle sparkled receiving light.
Thin light flowed along the lines.
It seemed like a very small winter was trapped inside the bottle.
The white shape was stopped inside.
I should dislike trapped things, but I didn’t dislike this.
The inside was quiet.
I think it was because this was a trap I made.
It was a place made by my hands.
Theodor put up his star lantern.
The star looked like it was floating inside the bottle.
The edges caught the light and swayed.
Lermiel put up his bottle while speaking in a very small voice.
Breath mixed shortly.
“Path.”
That word connected with yesterday’s words.
It attached without breaking.
I nodded my head.
I moved it shortly up and down.
“Let’s not lose the path.”
My words came out in a single line.
They went straight without wavering.
Lermiel looked at me.
His gaze lingered for a long time.
Those eyes were quietly warm.
Light rose thinly.
Warmth is dangerous, but today it was less dangerous.
Being close was okay.
Outside the window, snow was quietly piled up, and inside the window, small lights appeared.
Outside was wide, inside was close.
The Founding Festival grew distant, and Winter Castle grew near.
The feeling of distance had changed.
I tapped my back with my finger.
The glass rang softly.
A short sound spread inward.
That resonance covered some of the noisy sounds in my chest.
It overlapped and made them disappear.
I decided to remember that.
* * *
On the night I made the lantern, snow fell quietly again.
When it falls quietly, there’s no sound.
When there’s no sound, dangerous presences are less noticeable.
Even lying in bed, I kept looking toward the window.
Windows look darker when night comes.
When it’s dark, the inside reflects.
When the inside reflects, I become visible.
I didn’t like being visible, so I turned my head to the side.
But when I turned to the side, I could see the light from the fireplace.
The light was swaying gently.
Gently swaying light isn’t scary.
It wasn’t sharp fire like a candle, but winter light trapped in a glass bottle.
I looked at it and let out a long breath.
When I breathe out long, my chest goes down.
When it goes down, my head is less noisy.
My glass bottle lantern was placed by the window.
Snowflake pieces sparkled inside the glass.
I learned that sparkling things are dangerous, but this sparkle didn’t hurt me.
I don’t fully understand the difference yet.
But I can feel that it’s different.
When I feel it, I start to believe a little.
Believing is unfamiliar to me.
Footsteps came from outside the door.
The footsteps were light and steady.
It was Theodor.
Theodor can’t hide his footsteps.
Not being able to hide is comfortable.
When it’s comfortable, I’m less on guard.
I looked at the door while pulling the blanket up to my chin.
The door opened and Theodor poked his head in.
He was holding a small basket in his hand.
Inside the basket were cloth and thread, and a small bell.
Bells sparkle and make noise.
I frowned because I dislike bells.
Theodor saw my expression and covered the bell with his palm.
When covered, it doesn’t make noise.
When it doesn’t make noise, it’s okay.
He carefully entered and closed the door.
The closing sound was soft.
Soft sounds are safe sounds.
Theodor sat beside my bed.
The bed sank slightly.
When it sinks, it means someone is close.
When close, sometimes I can’t breathe, but today it was less so.
I don’t know if it was because of the fireplace’s warmth or the glass bottle light.
Theodor placed the basket on the bed.
The cloth unfolded softly.
Soft cloth is warm when it wraps around your hand.
When warm, the heart becomes loose.
I was wary of becoming loose, but I didn’t dislike the feeling of cloth touching my fingers.
Theodor picked up the thread.
The thread was gray.
Gray is the color of stones in snow.
If it’s stone-colored, it doesn’t stand out.
If it doesn’t stand out, it’s good for hiding.
I liked that color.
Theodor made a small knot with the thread and said.
“This, wear it around your neck.”
I don’t like things around my neck.
The neck is weak.
When something touches a weak place, memories come up.
I covered my neck with my hand.
Theodor saw my hand and stopped.
Then he closed his mouth for a moment, then moved the thread toward my wrist.
His hand changed direction.
“Then how about here?”
His words continued low.
The wrist is less scary than the neck.
Even when touched, I don’t suffocate.
The wrist can move.
When I turn my hand, my view changes.
If it moves, I can also untie it.
Even when tied, I can find the end.
I lowered my hand a little.
The hand that was covering came down.
“Good.”
It came out briefly.
Theodor attached a small piece of cloth to the end of the thread.
His fingers tied it quickly.
The cloth piece had winter patterns embroidered small on it.
Thin thread lines gathered to form shapes.
A pattern that looked like a snowflake.
Lines split and spread out.
I saw it and my eyes widened.
My field of vision expanded.
The pattern was like a mark.
When visible, it distinguishes.
Marks are dangerous.
If they remain, you get caught.
However, this pattern is not the Royal House’s crest.
It doesn’t shine brightly.
This is Winter Castle’s pattern.
The name is different.
Winter Castle’s pattern doesn’t catch me.
It doesn’t chase after me.
I thought of that and gently pressed the fabric piece with my finger.
It pressed down softly and returned.
Theodor carefully wound thread around my wrist.
His hand moved slowly.
His fingers touched my skin.
Warmth remained thinly.
When touched, it tickles.
Skin reacts first.
When it tickles, the body flinches.
Muscles twitch briefly.
Flinching shows signs of being startled.
Breathing wavers.
I didn’t want to show signs of being startled, so I kept my body still.
I gathered strength inward.
The knot was completed.
The thread was secured once.
It was a thread bracelet.
It lay thinly on my wrist.
The bracelet is small, light, and less noticeable.
Even when moving, there’s little swaying.
I liked that.
There was little burden.
Theodor pointed at the bracelet and spoke.
His finger moved briefly.
“This is a mark showing we’re on the same side.”
Same side.
Same side!
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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