Will You Cry for Me If I Die? - Chapter 66

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 66

‘Push with reason, not words.’

So now I can hear life.

I can hear it with words, not breath.

“Priest coming.”

I said.

One of the three in front opened his eyes wide.

His eyelids lifted up.

“Holy mark?”

His voice jumped.

The end went up.

I nodded my head.

Slowly, clearly moving.

“Yeah.”

I said.

Yeah is a four-year-old’s word.

Short and round.

Yeah looks weak, but it’s real.

It’s an unadorned word.

I have to be real.

If I’m fake, I’ll be caught.

My expression will crumble first.

Iden helped from beside me.

He stepped one step to the side and said.

“The priest is sweeping through the corridors.”

“You’ll be caught soon too.”

The boy gritted his teeth.

His jaw became firm.

He said in a low voice.

“This is our territory.”

Territory.

A word that draws lines.

A word that divides inside and outside.

Territory is like the Research Institute.

Divided by walls.

I hated that word so I said immediately.

“You die.”

I threw it without stopping.

It’s a cruel word.

A four-year-old can be cruel.

I learned cruel words at the Research Institute.

Because those were the words for survival.

That boy looked straight at me.

His eyes no longer wavered.

“Who are you.”

I answered immediately.

I didn’t steady my breath.

“Rumel.”

I said my name.

A name is protection.

If there’s something to call you, you can be held onto.

Here my name is Rumel Ikaros.

Millayen told me to do that.

To temporarily become the youngest.

‘Youngest!’

I wanted to do that too, and Theodor had shouted with joy.

So I said it more clearly.

I opened my mouth wider to pronounce it clearly.

“Rumel Ikaros.”

The three in front looked at each other.

Their gazes brushed against each other.

Their heads moved just slightly.

One of them said very quietly.

“Youngest.”

Youngest.

When that word entered my ears, my stomach became a little less cold.

The inside loosened a little.

Youngest is not a position to be abandoned.

Youngest is a position to be embraced.

A position to stand behind.

I don’t completely believe that yet, but I feel it a little.

The boy let out a sigh.

His shoulders dropped just slightly.

He raised his hand and pressed a stone on the wall.

His finger found a specific point on the wall surface.

The stone moved.

It was pressed inward then slid to the side.

A hidden door beside the corridor opened.

A gap formed as if the wall was splitting.

Dark wind leaked out.

The air from inside flowed outside.

I disliked that wind, but I was glad a path opened.

When a path opens, you live.

In blocked places, you can’t breathe.

I said immediately.

“Thank you.”

I don’t usually say thank you much.

It doesn’t come out of my mouth easily.

At the Research Institute, even when I said thank you, nothing came back.

The words scattered.

But now I said it.

I left the words.

Because at Ikaros, the words might come back.

I wanted to see them come back at least once.

The boy looked at me and said.

“Go quickly.”

Still, it was real.

He didn’t block me.

I nodded and entered through the door.

I moved my feet quickly.

I crossed the low doorway.

Another sound came from behind me.

It was the distant sound of holy power scraping the air in the corridor.

It felt like invisible lines were sweeping across the walls.

I said to myself.

‘I can’t be late.’

And I ran faster on my short legs.

Inside the hidden door was even narrower.

The walls were so close that if I spread my shoulders just a little, they would touch.

The ceiling also looked low, so adults had to bend down more when passing through.

When it’s narrow, breathing becomes more difficult.

The air feels compressed.

It feels like the front and back are blocked.

I hated feeling suffocated, so I kept my mouth tightly shut while running.

If I open my mouth, my breathing gets louder.

If my breathing gets louder, it makes noise.

Running makes footstep sounds.

The sound of feet hitting the floor spreads through the corridor.

Footsteps call the priests.

They show the way.

Still, I ran.

I shortened the gaps between steps.

I moved my feet faster.

If I’m late, it’s over.

If it’s over, I’ll be caught.

I don’t want to be caught.

Demian grabbed my coat string and followed.

I felt the string being pulled from behind me.

Even while holding the string, he didn’t pull hard.

He matched the distance so the string wouldn’t become taut.

If he doesn’t pull hard, I’m less bound.

My body doesn’t get dragged.

I hate being bound, but the string keeps me from being lost now.

It connects us so I won’t be lost.

That difference made my insides hurt a little less.

Yurahel, Lermiel, and Iden followed behind.

As they entered the corridor, the line connected.

Front and back were tied together as one.

The sound of the door closing again came from behind.

It was the low sound of stones fitting together.

The sound of something settling into its proper place.

When the stone door closes, there’s no way back.

The rear is blocked.

When there’s no way back, my heart becomes quieter.

Choices decrease.

When it becomes quiet, fear grows.

It swells up from inside.

I suppressed the growing fear.

I moved my feet faster.

The corridor went down slightly like stairs.

The floor lowered very gradually.

The more I walked, the more my body tilted downward.

I hate paths that go down.

Down below is the Research Institute.

I said to myself again, ‘This is the Winter Path.’

I repeated the words.

Not just once, but several times.

When I speak, my heart becomes a little stronger.

It doesn’t scatter.

When it becomes strong, fewer tears come out.

I don’t cry.

To avoid crying, I kept moving.

I didn’t stop my feet.

A faint light appeared ahead.

It floated thinly between the darkness.

It wasn’t a yellow lamp, but blue light.

The blue light spread inside the corridor.

The light spread along the walls.

Blue light is winter magic.

It’s cold and clear light.

Winter is on my side.

I wanted to believe that.

When I want to believe, my legs move faster.

I walked faster.

My steps connected in short intervals.

While walking, my foot caught on a ledge and I almost fell.

The floor wasn’t even.

My toes caught on a protruding stone.

Four-year-olds have small feet that easily catch on stones.

Even catching once makes you lose balance.

I didn’t want to fall, so I pressed my hands to the floor.

I put my hands out first before my body could lean forward.

The floor wasn’t dry earth but cold stone.

It was hard and not smooth.

The sensation of stone pricked my palms.

The rough surface scraped my skin.

When it hurts, tears come.

I held back the tears.

I opened my eyes wide.

Instead of holding back, my cheeks became hot.

My face heated up from inside.

When it’s hot, breathing loosens.

Breathing becomes longer.

I made my breathing short again.

I cut it short and adjusted it.

Iden whispered from ahead.

The sound settled low.

“There’s something like a rest area coming up soon.”

A rest area is a place to rest.

A spot to stop briefly.

If I rest, I get sleepy.

My body relaxes.

If I get sleepy, it’s dangerous.

My eyes close.

I glared at Iden.

I lifted my head and threw him a look.

Iden let out a very small laugh.

Only the corners of his mouth moved slightly.

I hated that his smile tried to ease my heart a little.

The inside becomes loose.

If I relax, I become weak.

If I become weak, I get abandoned.

I hate being abandoned.

Demian spoke in a low voice.

It came from right behind me.

“Even if you rest, keep your eyes open.”

If I keep my eyes open, I’m safe.

There’s no safety, but if I keep my eyes open, I die less.

I can see ahead.

I nodded my head.

Lermiel caught his breath and spoke.

“Rumel.”

When my name is called, my chest lurches.

The inside shakes once.

At the Research Institute, it wasn’t a name.

It was a number.

Here, it’s a name.

It’s a word spoken with the mouth.

A name makes my body human.

If I’m human, I can protect.

I hold hands.

I stand in front.

As I was thinking that, I became scared again.

Because protecting means having something to lose.

‘If I have something to lose, it hurts.’

I hate pain.

Pain lasts a long time.

It remains deeper than the body.

Still, having something to lose is good.

Good things are more frightening.

If it’s good, I want to protect it.

To protect, I keep it close.

If I keep it close, I can see it better.

If I can see it, it hurts more.

I hated that complexity, so I opened my mouth.

I didn’t let the thought linger.

“Don’t talk.”

I cut it short.

Lermiel hesitated.

His steps slowed just a little.

He asked quietly.

He tilted his head and looked at me.

“Why?”

His gentle voice almost made tears come up.

As his words trailed down, the inside loosened.

I hated that, so I answered briefly.

“Focus.”

Lermiel nodded his head.

He turned his gaze back to the front.

“I understand.”

Those words were warm again.

Warm words are dangerous.

They loosen the chest.

I endured that danger and only looked ahead.

I fixed my gaze between the wall and floor.

The corridor suddenly widened.

The walls on both sides spread apart.

Even if I spread my shoulders, they wouldn’t touch.

In the widened area, there was a small room.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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