Will You Cry for Me If I Die? - Chapter 59

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 59

Faith can sometimes be wrong.

But now we must believe and move.

If we stop, it’s over.

Lermiel caught his breath and spoke.

His breathing came in thin streams.

“Outside is snow.”

I nodded my head.

Short, up and down.

“Snow is water.”

My words were simple.

Simple words are fast.

I can move before my head gets complicated.

Demian pointed below the window.

His finger pointed downward.

“If we go down from here.”

He cut off his words.

His eyes calculated below.

They were eyes measuring height.

I hated that face.

Calculation eats time.

Time catches us.

Creates danger.

Danger creates fear.

Fear binds our feet.

I answered quickly.

I spoke before thinking.

“We go down.”

Demian looked at me.

His gaze came straight down.

“You first?”

I nodded my head.

I pushed out a short breath.

“I go first.”

At the Research Institute, I was always first too.

Called first, pushed first, reached first.

Cold hands found me first.

Went in first, got hit first, was thrown away first.

The order was always the same.

There was no going last.

Would it be different at Ikaros?

I hoped I would be different.

Hoping hurts.

It hurt thinly, like the inside of my chest was tearing.

Still, I hope.

I didn’t let go.

Demian opened the window just a little.

His hand moved slowly.

Frost had eaten the locking mechanism.

Thin ice had seeped between the metal.

A clicking sound came.

Even though it was very small, it sounded loud.

I stopped breathing.

My chest hardened as if it had stopped.

This sound was scarier than what was outside the door.

I was afraid the priest’s ears might reach here.

Ears come even when you can’t see them.

They come riding on sound.

Wind came in.

It rushed in through the window crack.

Snow scattered.

White pieces came into the room.

Cold wind hit my cheek.

My skin cooled immediately.

I flinched.

My body jumped slightly.

Cold things wake up the mind.

Blurry things become clear.

Good.

I opened my eyes wide.

I widened my field of vision.

Outside was dark.

There was almost no light.

Snow floated white.

White things floated above the black night.

White night.

The white night was different from the Research Institute.

The white at the Research Institute was light.

Light that hurt the eyes.

The white here is snow.

It scatters without breaking.

Snow is cold, but it’s alive.

It falls, piles up, and moves again.

Count Iden’s laughter moved away from outside the door.

The sound gradually got smaller.

It moved away from the room.

He seemed to be deliberately leading the priest in another direction.

The footsteps changed direction.

I was grateful for that.

Gratitude loosens the heart.

Hard things become slack.

I pressed down hard on my gratitude.

I pushed it inside my chest.

I can’t loosen up now.

If I loosen up, my hands will slow down.

Demian spoke low.

He barely mixed in breath.

“Rumel, waist cord.”

He wrapped a small cord around my waist.

The cord went around my body once.

It wasn’t rough but firm.

The rope bound my body.

I hate being tied up.

I hate the feeling of my body being caught.

But this binding is different.

This is a binding that holds me.

It grips me so I won’t fall.

I felt that difference.

My hands trembled a little less.

When I feel it, my heart wavers.

The inside moves.

I spoke again.

I pushed the words out briefly.

“Good.”

Demian looked into my eyes.

Our gazes met directly.

Those eyes became gentle for a moment.

The light softened thinly.

When it’s gentle, it’s dangerous.

My hands become slow.

I didn’t avoid his gaze.

“Quickly.”

I said.

I cut my breath short.

Demian nodded his head.

It was brief and certain.

I climbed onto the window sill.

My feet were slippery.

Frost was spread there.

Thin ice pushed against my soles.

I gripped the window frame tightly with my hands.

My fingers dug into the metal.

My palms froze.

The cold stuck to me immediately.

Even frozen, I didn’t let go.

My hands gripped even tighter.

I looked down below.

I could see the snow-covered roof.

White layers were thickly covering it.

More snow below the roof.

It continued like stairs.

And further below was darkness.

It was a place where light didn’t reach.

I hate darkness.

I can’t see the end.

But now I have to go down.

If I stop, I’ll be caught.

The door rang out with another thud.

This time it was a louder sound.

The wall rang along with it.

The wood cried out like a scream.

The sound of cracking mixed in.

I made my decision.

My body moved before my head.

I’m going down.

‘Now!’

I threw my body forward.

My hands fell away from the window frame.

Air struck my face.

Cold air rushed at me all at once.

A four-year-old body is light.

It gets pushed by the wind.

When it’s light, it falls quickly.

The ground rapidly approached.

When you fall fast, you make noise.

I clenched my teeth because I didn’t want to make noise.

My jaw became rigid.

Snow entered my mouth.

It was cold and bitter.

It touched my tongue.

I swallowed the cry that was rising up.

My throat folded inward.

If I cry, breath leaks, and if breath leaks, I’ll be discovered.

My feet touched the snow.

Thud.

The sound spread dully.

The snow sank deeply.

It sank up to my knees.

Because of my short legs, I sank even deeper.

My balance immediately crumbled.

I rolled forward just like that.

White snow briefly covered my eyes completely.

My vision disappeared in an instant.

Up and down vanished.

I couldn’t breathe.

It felt like my nose and mouth were blocked simultaneously.

Cold particles stuck to my face.

I flailed my arms.

My short arms scratched at the air.

My hands split through the snow.

As the snow parted, light came in.

I’m alive.

I took a big breath.

Cold air stabbed my lungs.

The inside suddenly cooled.

It hurt.

Inside my chest stung.

It hurt but my mind was clear.

What was blurry became sharp.

I immediately looked up.

I jerked my head up.

My neck strained.

I could see the gap in the window.

It looked like a bright line between the black walls.

I could see Demian’s hand.

It was resting on the window frame.

That hand was gripping my waist cord.

The cord was pulled taut.

The cord pulled me up.

He was holding on from above.

I straightened my body on the snow.

I straightened my waist and brought my feet together.

I tried to stand, but the snow was slippery and I sat back down.

My feet immediately sank.

I got angry.

Heat rushed up inside me.

When a four-year-old gets angry, the body moves first.

It springs before thinking.

I swept away the snow with both hands and stood up again.

My hands dug into the snow.

Cold particles pushed between my fingers.

This time I stood.

My feet sank a little deeper.

My breath came out white.

Steam spread long from my mouth.

White breath floated in the night.

It spread thinly against the black background.

Breath is also a trace.

What can be seen can be caught.

I reduced my breathing.

I moved my chest only halfway.

Demian spoke quietly from above.

His voice came down mixed with the wind.

“Don’t move.”

I nodded my head.

Shortly up and down.

Even though I wanted to move, I held back.

My legs kept shaking.

I’m used to enduring.

My body remembers.

Then Lermiel appeared at the window.

His head slowly came down.

His face was even whiter.

He was pale as if drained of light.

He placed his hands on the window sill and looked down while catching his breath.

His shoulders shook very slightly.

Yurahel was behind him too.

He was attached like a shadow.

Yurahel’s wrist glinted.

The silver dot shone like eyes.

It moved as if blinking.

Eyes can be seen from far away.

I became urgent.

My heart beat fast.

When I’m urgent, I speak shortly.

My mind doesn’t go long.

“Hurry.”

I said from below.

My breath came out short.

Could they hear from above?

I don’t know.

But I said it.

When I speak, my heart shakes a little less.

Lermiel tried to come down first.

He leaned his body forward.

His hands gripped the window sill harder.

At that moment Demian raised his hand to stop him.

His palm blocked in front of Lermiel.

The movement was firm.

Demian’s lips moved.

There was almost no sound.

“Yurahel first.”

Yurahel swallowed.

His throat moved greatly.

He nodded his head.

But decisively.

This wasn’t to hide me, but to hide the mark.

I knew that.

The mark is dangerous now.

It beats stronger when close.

It gets stronger when the priest comes near.

Outside is wide.

Snow is spread out.

When it’s wide, it’s hard for the priest to find.

That’s what I believed.

I have to believe to be able to move.

Yurahel stepped onto the window sill.

His feet rested on the window.

His hands pressed against the wall.

The moment he was about to come down, a loud sound came from the door.

Bang.

It was a sound exploding from inside.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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