Will You Cry for Me If I Die? - Chapter 48

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 48

 

It’s not the smell of the mark water.

 

That smell is stickier.

 

This is thin and cold.

 

Just metal.

 

It’s the smell coming from the metal cup.

 

Still, I felt uneasy and asked a question.

 

I slightly parted my lips and spoke.

 

“Is this safe? The smell is a bit different.”

 

Demian raised his eyebrows.

 

“At this rate, you’ll need to check the air too?”

 

“Air! I’m suspicious of it!”

 

Then Theodor said with a laugh.

 

While lightly shaking his shoulders.

 

“Rumel suspects everything in the world – water, light, people, everything. Right?”

 

It sounded like a teasing tone.

 

I looked at Theodor.

 

Theodor flinched and closed his mouth.

 

His laughter half-stopped.

 

Then he quietly whispered only in my ear.

 

His breath brushed past my ear.

 

“We can trust each other, so it’s okay. You don’t need to suspect our side.”

 

I liked those words.

 

Something inside settled down a little.

 

After the meal ended, we returned to our lodging.

 

Our footsteps slowed.

 

In the corridor, servants were changing the candles.

 

The flames went out and lit again.

 

New flames were born.

 

Small lights came alive one by one.

 

The new flames were bright and hurt my eyes.

 

The light pierced in sharply.

 

I squinted my eyes.

 

My eyelids came down halfway.

 

Theodor grabbed my arm and said.

 

His hand touched carefully.

 

“Your eyes hurt because the light is too strong.”

 

“A little.”

 

When I spoke, Theodor covered my eyes with his palm.

 

His hand rested on my face.

 

His palm was warm, and less light came through.

 

My eyes immediately felt comfortable.

 

I liked that warmth a little.

 

My skin relaxed.

 

But I immediately thought.

 

When it’s warm, the heart relaxes.

 

When the heart relaxes, you become dull.

 

When you become dull, you die.

 

I gently lowered Theodor’s hand and said.

 

I grabbed his wrist and slowly lowered it.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

Theodor nodded.

 

It was a face that believed immediately.

 

That kid believes right away when I say I’m fine.

 

That trust is sometimes dangerous.

 

It’s dangerous because there’s no suspicion.

 

Yet I envied that trust.

 

I can’t trust in that way.

 

Lermiel was in front of the door.

 

He was standing only at the doorway today too.

 

He didn’t step even one foot inside.

 

Seeing that, I asked.

 

I tilted my head slightly.

 

“At the doorway again. You won’t come in.”

 

Lermiel answered in a low voice.

 

His gaze came down.

 

“This is your territory. I must keep the line.”

 

I mulled over those words.

 

Territory.

 

The place where I am.

 

A safe territory.

 

Then the doorway is the boundary.

 

The place where inside and outside are divided.

 

Boundaries are always cold.

 

It feels like cooling when you touch them.

 

But when Lermiel stands there, the boundary is less cold.

 

It seems to be because a person is standing there.

 

My heart felt strange.

 

Something inside shook a little.

 

I don’t like strange feelings.

 

I don’t like them because they can’t be grasped.

 

So I spoke more firmly.

 

I pressed my lips together then opened them.

 

“Tonight, by the window.”

 

Lermiel’s eyes moved very slightly.

 

Light brushed past once.

 

“I know. I’m prepared.”

 

I asked again.

 

I checked once more.

 

“You’re coming with me. Not alone, right.”

 

Lermiel paused for a moment.

 

His breath stopped shallowly.

 

Then he spoke in a low voice.

 

His voice came down steadily.

 

“I must go. I won’t leave you alone.”

 

I nodded.

 

But firmly.

 

I liked the answer.

 

Yet my heart beat a little.

 

Something inside rang with a soft thump.

 

I don’t like running.

 

When my heart races, my breathing becomes short.

 

When my breathing becomes short, it feels like tears will come out.

 

I don’t like crying.

 

I climbed onto the bed.

 

I gripped the edge with my hands and pulled myself up.

 

My feet sank deep.

 

The blanket came up to my ankles.

 

The bed is soft.

 

My body sinks down.

 

When it’s soft, sleep comes.

 

My eyes immediately become heavy.

 

I grabbed the blanket and forced my eyes open.

 

I put strength into keeping my eyelids from closing.

 

Theodor also climbed onto the bed.

 

A small sound was made.

 

He stuck close to my side.

 

He came close enough for our arms to touch.

 

“Let’s sleep apart today.”

 

When I asked, Theodor’s eyes opened wide.

 

His eyes opened big.

 

“Why? It’s more comfortable sleeping together.”

 

“Stuffy.”

 

When I said that, Theodor frowned.

 

His mouth went down a little.

 

He thought for a moment, then moved about a hand’s width away.

 

He pushed his body to the side.

 

And immediately asked again.

 

It was a confirming voice.

 

“Is this much okay? Should I move further away?”

 

I nodded my head.

 

This much was fine.

 

Theodor pulled the blanket with a satisfied face.

 

His hands pulled the blanket up to his chin.

 

He still pulls the blanket up to his mouth like a baby.

 

He covers it all the way to the tip of his nose.

 

I don’t pull it up to my mouth though.

 

If I pull it up to my mouth, I can’t breathe.

 

When I can’t breathe, the research institute comes to mind.

 

Narrow places, closed air, the feeling of being pressed down.

 

So I only pulled it up to below my chin.

 

The blanket stopped below my neck.

 

A servant came in and reduced the candles by half.

 

He pressed down the wicks to lower the light.

 

The light became smaller.

 

The room became a little darker.

 

When light becomes smaller, shadows become bigger.

 

The things attached to the wall became longer.

 

I don’t like shadows.

 

Shadows always create people.

 

They make things that don’t exist seem like they exist.

 

Yesterday was like that too.

 

Movement appeared where nothing was moving.

 

I pressed the edge of the bed firmly with my finger.

 

I put strength into my fingertips.

 

The pressed sensation held onto me.

 

Lermiel’s footsteps stopped outside the door.

 

One step, then a stop.

 

Demian’s footsteps weren’t far either.

 

A slightly heavier sound.

 

The sound of knights changing shifts.

 

The sound of metal brushing.

 

The sound of clothing hems touching.

 

I counted those sounds.

 

One, two, three.

 

Three would be enough, but today there were four.

 

A fourth set of footsteps mixed in very lightly.

 

The feeling of brushing the floor was thin.

 

It seemed like a servant’s footsteps, but also seemed like it wasn’t.

 

The rhythm was a little different.

 

I opened my eyes wide.

 

The darkness was pushed back a little.

 

Theodor looked at me and whispered.

 

Only his lips moved.

 

“What? Why all of a sudden?”

 

I only moved my lips.

 

I barely made any sound.

 

“Listening.”

 

Theodor held his breath.

 

His chest became shallow as if it had stopped.

 

When a four-year-old holds their breath, their stomach hurts.

 

The inside of the stomach pulls.

 

Theodor also clutched his stomach.

 

His hand went on top of his stomach.

 

Seeing that, I made a very small gesture.

 

I pressed my palm downward.

 

You can breathe.

 

He breathed slowly.

 

He carefully inhaled and exhaled.

 

We two are good at this.

 

We learned yesterday.

 

Breathing that makes no sound.

 

A little time passed, and it became quiet.

 

The fourth set of footsteps could no longer be heard.

 

The flame flickered with a small crackling sound.

 

The wick sparked briefly.

 

My eyelids became heavy.

 

Fatigue crept up the back of my neck.

 

My shoulders sank down.

 

However, I didn’t forget.

 

Tonight, by the window.

 

Yurahel.

 

The mark.

 

I thought to myself.

 

Clearly.

 

Yurahel shouldn’t be alone.

 

That can’t happen.

 

My inner words were firm.

 

They didn’t waver.

 

That firmness helped me endure.

 

It kept my eyes from closing.

 

At some point, a very low voice came from outside the door.

 

The air trembled slightly.

 

It was Demian’s voice.

 

“Now, it’s time to move.”

 

Lermiel’s voice followed.

 

Lower, closer.

 

“Please wait, confirmation comes first.”

 

I tried to jump up, but my body swayed.

 

My vision shook once.

 

Four-year-olds get dizzy when they jump up suddenly.

 

My head gets pushed back.

 

I grabbed the bed column and straightened my body.

 

My hand gripped the wood tightly.

 

Theodor tried to get up too.

 

The blanket lifted with him.

 

I spoke immediately.

 

My mouth opened first.

 

“You.”

 

The words cut off.

 

They stopped in my throat.

 

What I promised was to go together.

 

We agreed to move together.

 

But Lermiel had said.

 

Theodor could be infected.

 

The mark could transfer to him.

 

That’s why my mouth stopped.

 

I couldn’t get the next words out.

 

Theodor looked at my face and asked.

 

His eyes wavered.

 

“I can’t go? I thought we were going together.”

 

I hated that trembling.

 

It felt like something inside was tearing.

 

Trembling tears at the heart.

 

I spoke forcefully.

 

I pushed forward without wavering.

 

“You stay here.”

 

Theodor stuck out his lips.

 

His eyes grew wide.

 

“Why? I can go together too.”

 

I spoke quietly.

 

I pressed my voice down low.

 

“You get infected.”

 

Theodor’s eyes widened.

 

His breath stopped.

 

“That thing will stick to me too? I’ll become like that too?”

 

I shook my head.

 

Slowly, certainly.

 

“Not yet.”

 

I added.

 

I emphasized once more.

 

“Not yet is important.”

 

Not now, but it could happen.

 

So I have to prevent it.

 

Theodor nodded as if trying to be brave.

 

But his hand couldn’t let go of my sleeve.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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