Will You Cry for Me If I Die? - Chapter 40

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 40

 

I took a bite of the bread.

 

My teeth pressed into the bread.

 

It tore softly.

 

Bread crumbs stuck to the corner of my mouth.

 

Small powder clung there.

 

I wiped it away with the back of my hand.

 

The back of my hand brushed against the corner of my mouth.

 

“There’s always danger.”

 

When I spoke, Lermiel quietly looked at me.

 

His gaze lingered long.

 

That gaze wasn’t pretty.

 

It wasn’t gentle either.

 

But strangely, it didn’t hurt either.

 

It just settled heavily.

 

Then Millayen came in.

 

The door opened again.

 

Behind him, Nina, Vladimir, and Yurahel followed.

 

Their overlapping footsteps changed the air in the room.

 

When the four families gather in one room, the air changes.

 

Temperatures mix.

 

Seasons mix.

 

I liked that feeling.

 

My breathing became a little easier.

 

Millayen sat at the end of the dining table and spoke.

 

The chair scraped low.

 

“Yesterday’s intruder was from the Priesthood.”

 

I stopped chewing the bread.

 

My jaw paused for a moment.

 

“Are you certain?”

 

I asked.

 

Millayen nodded.

 

“He was disguised as a Royal Knight, but his fingertips were Priesthood style.”

 

I only understood half of those words.

 

I could hear the words but they didn’t all connect.

 

Fingertip style.

 

The Research Institute also has different fingertips.

 

The way of grasping, the way of releasing.

 

Hands that experiment are gentle, hands that discard are rough.

 

I spoke quietly.

 

I pressed my words down low.

 

“The Royal House.”

 

I didn’t continue with a question.

 

Millayen didn’t answer immediately.

 

His gaze dropped for a moment.

 

Instead, Lermiel spoke low.

 

Without lifting his head.

 

“The Royal House will pretend not to know.”

 

Vladimir swallowed a laugh.

 

His lips curled slightly.

 

“That’s what they do best.”

 

Nina put down her spoon.

 

Metal touched the plate.

 

“Then what about today?”

 

He asked.

 

Gazes circled the dining table.

 

Yurahel answered quietly.

 

“Today the official ceremony begins.”

 

Yurahel’s voice flowed low across the dining table.

 

I coughed while drinking milk.

 

My throat tickled.

 

The warm liquid went down wrong.

 

Theodor patted my back.

 

His palm tapped my back gently.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

He asked.

 

I nodded.

 

Quickly.

 

Milk is sweet.

 

The sweet taste remained in my mouth.

 

When things are sweet, the heart becomes loose.

 

The body relaxes a little.

 

When you become loose, it’s dangerous.

 

I put down the cup and asked.

 

My hand placed the cup down without making a sound.

 

“Will they look at the mark again today?”

 

Lermiel nodded.

 

His gaze didn’t waver.

 

“Sacred objects will appear in the ceremony.”

 

I spread my palm.

 

My small hand was placed on the dining table.

 

“Do you need my blood again?”

 

Millayen said.

 

“Today, no one can touch your blood.”

 

I wanted to believe those words.

 

For a moment, just a moment.

 

But believing isn’t my specialty.

 

I don’t have that kind of habit inside me.

 

Instead, I confirmed.

 

I brought up words again.

 

“How.”

 

Immediately.

 

Demian answered.

 

His gaze turned toward me.

 

“Someone will stay by your side.”

 

I frowned.

 

My eyebrows drew together.

 

Stay by my side.

 

Since yesterday, they keep sticking close, holding, blocking.

 

Hands keep touching.

 

Sometimes I can’t breathe.

 

My chest feels tight.

 

I spoke in a small voice.

 

I lowered my voice.

 

“I don’t like it.”

 

Demian looked at me with surprise.

 

His eyes opened wide for a moment.

 

I lowered my eyes.

 

I avoided his gaze.

 

“Stuffy.”

 

When I added that, Demian paused for a moment then nodded.

 

A thought passed briefly.

 

“I’ll adjust the distance.”

 

Those words were strange.

 

My words get through.

 

When I speak, things change.

 

At the Research Institute, they didn’t get through.

 

Words always hit a wall.

 

I was unfamiliar with that difference, so I fidgeted with my fingers.

 

My fingers moved under the table.

 

Lermiel shifted his gaze toward me.

 

His head turned just a little.

 

“Rumel.”

 

He called my name.

 

I raised my head.

 

Our eyes met again.

 

“Yesterday.”

 

He said.

 

He spoke slowly.

 

“I understand that you tried to protect the bottle.”

 

I spoke immediately.

 

I didn’t stop.

 

“Mine.”

 

Clearly.

 

“Yes.”

 

Lermiel nodded.

 

He accepted my words.

 

“But next time.”

 

He paused for a moment as if choosing his words.

 

His eyes went down very briefly.

 

“Please use a different method.”

 

I tilted my head.

 

I didn’t understand right away.

 

“Different?”

 

Lermiel spoke quietly.

 

His voice came down softly.

 

“You have a small body.”

 

That again.

 

The same words repeat.

 

I stuck out my lips.

 

The corners of my mouth went down.

 

“It’s okay to be small.”

 

I continued my words.

 

I didn’t cut them short.

 

“My head is big.”

 

The words came out of my mouth.

 

A little louder.

 

Vladimir burst into laughter.

 

The sound bounced over the table.

 

“I like it!”

 

He said.

 

He clapped his hands once.

 

Nina also lifted the corners of her mouth slightly.

 

Her eyes folded softly.

 

Theodor laughed completely.

 

He bent over laughing.

 

“That’s right, Rumel is smart!”

 

He said.

 

My face got a little hot.

 

My cheeks became warm.

 

I don’t like hot things.

 

It feels like my insides are being exposed.

 

I quickly took another bite of bread.

 

My mouth was filled again.

 

Then a bell rang outside the door.

 

Once, twice, three times.

 

The sound continued at regular intervals.

 

Ritual summons.

 

Millayen stood up from his seat.

 

The chair was pushed back.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

With those words, the air in the room became solid again.

 

When he finished speaking, everyone’s movements changed.

 

I tried to get down from the chair, but my feet couldn’t reach the floor and I flailed for a moment.

 

My legs swung in the air.

 

My toes couldn’t find the floor.

 

Theodor was about to laugh but stopped.

 

His mouth opened then closed.

 

Because my face had hardened.

 

My eyes stiffened.

 

I was annoyed that I couldn’t find my footing.

 

I lowered my legs harder.

 

Still couldn’t reach.

 

I wish I would grow up quickly.

 

Sometimes getting down from a chair is harder than a big fight.

 

The feeling of my feet floating in the air lingered for a long time.

 

Demian extended his hand.

 

His palm faced upward.

 

“Shall I help you down.”

 

He said.

 

I hesitated for a moment.

 

Yesterday, I was carried.

 

My body was lifted up.

 

Being carried is comfortable.

 

I don’t have to use any strength.

 

When it’s comfortable, I become smaller.

 

If I don’t use my hands, I become even smaller.

 

So I said.

 

But evenly.

 

“Just hands.”

 

Demian nodded his head.

 

He followed my words.

 

He didn’t lift me up, only supported me with his hands.

 

His hands supported me under my arms.

 

I searched for the floor with my toes.

 

Slowly, carefully.

 

I found it.

 

My soles touched the stone.

 

At that moment, my heart felt a little better.

 

The inside loosened lightly.

 

Lermiel walked toward the door first.

 

His steps were steady.

 

His back was straight.

 

His shoulders didn’t sway.

 

I approached his side.

 

I moved my feet quickly.

 

“You.”

 

When I called, Lermiel turned around.

 

Only his head moved.

 

I spoke vigorously.

 

Taking one more breath.

 

“Today, we watch together.”

 

Lermiel’s eyes relaxed very slightly.

 

The tension went down a little.

 

“Yes.”

 

He answered quietly.

 

We stepped out into the corridor.

 

We crossed the threshold.

 

The knights cleared the way.

 

They stood on both sides and stepped back.

 

The crystal columns came into view again.

 

Light moved around inside the columns.

 

The light was waiting for us.

 

I clenched my hands tightly.

 

My fingers curled inward.

 

Four-year-old hands are small.

 

The palms are narrow.

 

But I know.

 

Today is a ceremony.

 

Ceremonies are when people drop their real faces.

 

When what they’ve been hiding falls away.

 

I won’t miss those faces.

 

I’ll watch with my eyes wide open.

 

* * *

 

The corridor was dark even though it was morning.

 

Light didn’t come in sufficiently.

 

Sunlight did come in, but the crystal columns intercepted it.

 

The light shattered inside the columns.

 

It broke into pieces before reaching my face.

 

The fragments scattered.

 

I squinted my eyes.

 

My eyelids came halfway down.

 

Sparkling things are pretty, but watching them too long gives me a headache.

 

The back of my eyes becomes heavy.

 

Footstep sounds overlapped.

 

They came from multiple directions simultaneously.

 

The sound of the knights’ boots.

 

Heavy and steady sounds.

 

The servants’ careful footsteps.

 

Light and broken sounds.

 

The sound of my shoe soles tapping against the stone floor.

 

Short and light sounds.

 

I stumbled once while walking.

 

My foot went slightly off course.

 

The floor wasn’t slippery, but my legs are short so sometimes the rhythm gets off.

 

My steps aren’t long.

 

Theodor immediately grabbed my arm.

 

When I looked back, I saw worried eyes.

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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