Will You Cry for Me If I Die? - Chapter 36

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 36

 

“Seal the banquet hall.”

 

His gaze swept around the surroundings once.

 

Demian continued speaking.

 

He tilted his head just slightly as he took up the words.

 

“Separate the movements of the Priesthood and the Royal House.”

 

I only understood half of those words.

 

Not all the words came through clearly.

 

Separate.

 

To pull apart.

 

To drop what had been attached.

 

That’s safe.

 

I gripped Theodor’s hand tighter.

 

Our fingers wrapped around each other more deeply.

 

My hand was small, so even gripping tightly, it seemed like it might slip away.

 

So I put in more strength.

 

Theodor winced and said.

 

His face crumpled a little.

 

“Ow.”

 

I immediately loosened my grip.

 

I didn’t let go of his hand, just released the pressure.

 

“Sorry.”

 

I had never practiced saying those words.

 

I had never learned them anywhere either.

 

They came out of my mouth on their own.

 

Theodor stared at me intently, then nodded his head.

 

His eyes relaxed a little.

 

“Yeah.”

 

That single word strangely tickled my heart.

 

The inside felt a little itchy.

 

We moved toward the guest room.

 

We walked along the corridor.

 

The corridor was long.

 

The same walls continued endlessly.

 

I stumbled twice while walking.

 

My feet were wet and slippery.

 

The soles of my feet couldn’t make proper contact.

 

Demian suddenly lifted me up.

 

My body was suddenly raised upward.

 

I was startled and grabbed his neck.

 

“Put me down!”

 

But immediately.

 

“No.”

 

He answered briefly.

 

The words came back right away.

 

“Today is too long for you to walk.”

 

His voice was low and didn’t waver.

 

I was about to argue back, but then remembered how cold my toes were.

 

The chill from just moments ago came back up.

 

And I closed my mouth.

 

No words came out.

 

Demian’s embrace was warm.

 

My body was enveloped.

 

When it’s warm, sleep comes.

 

Eyes become heavy.

 

When sleep comes, you lose sight.

 

I forced my head up.

 

I put strength in my chin to maintain my gaze.

 

Beyond the door, the light from the banquet hall still flickered.

 

Through the glass, the light continued to sway.

 

That place keeps moving.

 

It doesn’t stop.

 

I hated that.

 

When the guest room door closed, the sound was cut off abruptly.

 

The moment the door closed, the noise from outside disappeared all at once.

 

Servants hurriedly brought water and cloth.

 

I was seated on the edge of the bed.

 

My body was pushed back slightly as soft fabric supported my back.

 

The hands cleaning my feet were careful.

 

Each time the wet cloth passed over the tops of my feet, the moisture was slowly wiped away.

 

I flinched because my toes tickled.

 

Small movements kept popping out.

 

“It tickles.”

 

When I spoke, the servant was startled and swallowed their laughter.

 

They closed their mouth and lowered their head, but their shoulders shook just a little.

 

Theodor climbed onto the bed and sat beside me.

 

The mattress sank slightly and our bodies drew closer.

 

“You’re really amazing.”

 

He said.

 

His eyes sparkled, and his breathing hadn’t completely settled yet.

 

I tilted my head.

 

I didn’t immediately understand those words.

 

“What is.”

 

I asked.

 

But just like that.

 

“If it were me, I would have run away in fear.”

 

He said.

 

The words continued quickly, then slowed down a little at the end.

 

I slowly chewed on Theodor’s words.

 

The words moved slowly in my head.

 

When scared, you run away.

 

That’s natural.

 

It’s a direction people know without having to learn first.

 

I wasn’t natural.

 

I didn’t have that direction from the beginning.

 

So I don’t know how to run away well.

 

Instead of running away, I stop or go closer.

 

Instead, I lowered my head.

 

My gaze fell onto my hands.

 

‘I was scared.’

 

A small voice spoke inside me.

 

Very quietly, but clearly.

 

I didn’t let that thought come outside.

 

I pressed it down so it wouldn’t come out of my mouth.

 

If I say it out loud, it gets bigger.

 

If it becomes sound, it remains.

 

Lermiel was standing in front of the door.

 

The door wasn’t completely closed.

 

He didn’t come inside.

 

He only placed his foot on the threshold.

 

He stood at the boundary between inside and outside.

 

“Rumel.”

 

He called my name.

 

His voice came in low.

 

I immediately raised my head.

 

My gaze reached him directly.

 

“You.”

 

Lermiel said quietly.

 

His eyes came down a little.

 

“Today’s incident is also my responsibility.”

 

He said.

 

Though his words weren’t long, the ending fell heavily.

 

I didn’t understand what he meant.

 

Responsibility is a word adults use when they fight.

 

A word used when deciding who was more wrong.

 

I spoke simply.

 

I brought out my thoughts directly without reducing them.

 

“You got hurt.”

 

Lermiel’s eyes wavered for a moment.

 

Very briefly, but certainly.

 

“That’s something that always happens.”

 

He said.

 

As if trying to make his words light, but they didn’t become completely light.

 

I shook my head.

 

Slowly, but firmly.

 

“If it’s always, it’s worse.”

 

I said.

 

When the same thing repeats, it leaves deeper marks.

 

Theodor shouted from beside me.

 

His body leaned forward.

 

“That’s right!”

 

His voice bounced around the room.

 

Lermiel briefly closed and opened his eyes.

 

His breath was organized once.

 

And he said quietly.

 

“Tonight, the Priesthood wasn’t only targeting you.”

 

Those words remained in the room.

 

I drew in a breath.

 

The air caught once in my throat.

 

I understand those words.

 

I asked immediately.

 

I didn’t add more thoughts.

 

“You.”

 

Lermiel didn’t answer.

 

He didn’t open his mouth.

 

That silence was the answer.

 

A more certain answer than words.

 

I got down from the bed.

 

As my feet touched the floor, coldness rose up.

 

My feet were cold, but I stood.

 

I straightened my body.

 

I looked straight at Lermiel.

 

I didn’t avoid his gaze.

 

“I’m going to help you!”

 

I said.

 

Lermiel’s lips parted very slightly.

 

A brief gap before words came out.

 

He said quietly.

 

“You are four years old.”

 

The words I heard earlier.

 

The same sentence.

 

I spoke again.

 

This time faster.

 

“I am No. 1!”

 

I didn’t raise my voice loudly.

 

Instead, I spoke more clearly, without breaking.

 

I added.

 

I pushed in one more breath.

 

“I can die.”

 

Theodor immediately grabbed and pulled my arm.

 

His hand attached firmly.

 

“No!”

 

His voice seemed like it would tear.

 

His breath burst out all at once.

 

Millayen entered the room.

 

As the door opened more, the air moved.

 

His voice was low, but it pressed down on the entire room.

 

“Those words are forbidden.”

 

As the words fell, the air became heavy.

 

I raised my head.

 

My gaze went up.

 

“Why?”

 

I asked.

 

Just like that.

 

Millayen sat in front of me.

 

As his body lowered, our eye levels matched.

 

“Dying is not your job.”

 

He said.

 

I didn’t understand well.

 

The words didn’t connect properly in my head.

 

If I die, someone lives.

 

That’s an easy exchange.

 

The calculation is simple.

 

I tilted my head.

 

I tilted it a little more and asked.

 

“Then who.”

 

Millayen said.

 

His gaze didn’t waver.

 

“We will.”

 

Those words were short but heavy.

 

I felt the air sink down once more.

 

My chest felt a little tight.

 

When I breathed in, it felt like the inside was narrowing.

 

And that tightness, somehow I didn’t dislike it.

 

Even though it was an unfamiliar sensation, I didn’t want to push it away.

 

Lermiel spoke quietly.

 

Standing at the threshold, not coming inside.

 

“I’m on the same side too.”

 

His voice was quiet, but it didn’t waver.

 

Vladimir spoke from outside the door as if tossing the words.

 

Leaning against the wall, not even lifting his head.

 

“Summer too.”

 

Nina’s voice followed.

 

It continued softly.

 

“Autumn too.”

 

Yurahel spoke quietly from inside.

 

With his eyes lowered, almost like a breath.

 

“Spring too.”

 

I counted those words one by one.

 

I placed them in order in my head.

 

Four seasons.

 

Each had different temperatures and colors attached.

 

The world I knew had only one season.

 

A cold, narrow, closed season.

 

A season without an outside.

 

I spread my hand.

 

My palm faced upward.

 

I could see a small wound on my palm.

 

A thin red line remained.

 

That suddenly felt childish.

 

It was too small to say it hurt this much.

 

I am four years old.

 

My body is small, my breath is short.

 

My wounds are small, my feet are cold, my eyes are dazzled.

 

Even so, I wanted to see.

 

What happens outside, I didn’t want to miss it.

 

I spoke quietly.

 

I pressed my voice down as if burying it in the blanket.

 

“Tonight, will they come again?”

 

Demian answered.

 

The words came back immediately.

 

“They might come.”

 

He didn’t reduce the possibility.

 

I nodded my head.

 

But not to stop.

 

And I climbed back onto the bed.

 

As my feet went into the blanket, warmth rose up.

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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