Unbeknownst to Me, I am Secretly Dating the Emperor - Chapter 133

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 133
He was far grander and more dangerous than I’d braced myself for. It felt like a bucket of ice water had been thrown over the flames I’d been burning with.
But my fire didn’t go out—it only dimmed a little.
That was how much I loved Ed.
Even if the flame guttered for a moment, I knew it would reignite given time.
I simply needed time to adjust.
‘I should trust what I’ve seen with my own eyes, not rumors.’
The Ed I’d experienced was an affectionate, passionate, and endearing lover.
‘I’ll just think of his work as being a bit unusual.’
Just slightly—by the breadth of an ant’s claw—the situation had improved.
Wanting to strengthen my resolve, I asked Ed a question.
“Do you love me?”
It was a strange thing to ask right after I’d collapsed and then suddenly come to, but Ed answered with a beautiful smile.
“I do.”
Finally, “Ed” came into focus sharply enough that I couldn’t confuse anything.
“So do I.”
I kissed him lightly on the cheek.
I thought my heart might burst for a different reason this time, but whether it was the power of infatuation or not, I found it bearable.
I couldn’t boldly say now that it didn’t matter who Ed was, but I could still say without hesitation that I loved him.
Yet there was one thing that troubled me.
Ed when he wasn’t my lover.
I knew that no love lasts forever.
I also knew how twisted my life could become if things ended badly with someone powerful.
‘I’m not thinking of breaking up right now, but… marriage might be difficult.’
If we couldn’t marry, then the ending would inevitably be a parting.
The “Emperor” I’d come to know better since joining the Blue Hawk was a gentler person than those depicted in novels.
Yet he was decidedly different from my lover, “Ed.”
I had an ordinary heart, no larger than a bean.
“Let’s love in a mature way—wishing for each other’s happiness even if we part.”
So I wanted to secure this one promise at least.
“What?! Why would we break up? Lina, why are you saying such things all of a sudden?”
Ed looked shocked, as if I’d asked him to end things right then and there.
“No, not now! Just… there’s a chance it could happen someday.”
I hurried to soothe Ed.
I knew well enough that bringing up such things between lovers who’d just begun was tactless.
It was also a remark rife with potential for misunderstanding, made right after we’d spent our first night together.
But if Ed was the Emperor, he couldn’t simply love as he pleased or think of marriage.
“That will never happen.”
Ed cut me off firmly.
“You said you wanted to have me.”
To anyone unaware of the situation, I’d sound like an ambitious woman with designs on the Empire.
Fortunately, there was no one else in the room.
Only after carefully checking my surroundings did I whisper quickly to Ed.
“That’s what lovers say to each other in bed.”
Though I’d accepted the fact that Ed was the Emperor, I was still getting used to my newly discovered lover’s identity and appearance.
So it was inevitable that I fell into a state of “I do love him, but…”
When I, who had been boldly displaying my possessiveness, quietly drew a line, Ed’s face showed genuine shock.
“But you said… you loved me.”
His golden eyes glistened with moisture.
“Do you love me less than yesterday? In just one day… have you already tired of me?”
Ed spoke in a trembling voice, his tone full of reproach.
I felt like a worthless person who’d seduced an innocent man, spent the night with him, and was now trying to run away.
We’d both been each other’s first.
“Did I say I don’t love you?”
I had no intention of being misunderstood as such trash, and besides, I was still bewildered beyond measure myself.
“I just need a little time to accept this.”
I decided, ultimately, to be honest.
“I feel like I’ve been swept along by circumstances lately, and I haven’t had a chance to sort through everything yet.”
I wasn’t the type to need a cave to weather shocks.
But this time, I genuinely needed some quiet time alone to think.
At some point, events had started pushing me along.
This wasn’t my way.
And there was another reason.
“I don’t want to become an Empress. Not yet.”
Marriage to Ed came naturally to my imagination.
But becoming an Empress felt like an entirely different matter.
I wasn’t someone who could bear the weight of a crown.
I lacked ambition and grand vision.
Ed, who knew well my small-minded nature, wore a melancholy expression and said nothing.
“Would it be alright then if I weren’t the Emperor?”
After a long silence, Ed spoke heavily.
If I said yes now, Ed looked ready to hurl the Emperor’s crown away without hesitation.
As though I were the most valuable thing in his existence.
His sincerity struck my faltering heart like a log thrown on dying embers.
The flames blazed up anew.
“At times like this, I should say I’ll try my best to accept it.”
I spoke while brushing Ed’s stiff lips with my thumb.
But his expression didn’t soften.
“I don’t want to force you into something you don’t want.”
“I want you, Ed.”
His stubborn, downturned expression was heartbreaking.
Peck.
As I kissed his cheeks and lips lightly several times, his expression gradually eased.
Finally, I pressed my lips to his for a moment longer, then spoke.
“While I take time to think, you wait for me too.”
“How much time do you need?”
Ed asked pitifully.
“A day?”
Ed seemed to think that was far too short, as he squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again before speaking.
“Or a week?”
His tone was resolute, as though a week was the longest period Ed could endure.
But honestly, I didn’t think it would take me nearly that long either.
“Let’s say a week for now.”
But I asked for the maximum time.
It was far better to ask for a week and show up in three days than to ask for three days and show up in three days.
Ed nodded with a melancholy expression.
* * *
After submitting my leave request, I headed home.
I opened the door thinking of nothing but how much I wanted to collapse into bed, only to find the apartment completely empty.
“What is this…?”
Then it all came back to me—what I’d done yesterday morning.
Thinking Ed was marrying the Princess, I’d cried my eyes out, reserved a passage to a different continent, sent letters to Ibeta and others, and put my house up for lease and prepared to move.
“I’m ruined.”
My capacity for action had been extraordinary amidst the despair, and now I had no idea where to even begin fixing things.
I stood gripping the door handle for a long time before my mind cleared.
“First, the landlord.”
I went to find my landlord to cancel the lease.
“Oh dear, what am I to do? Another tenant has already come and signed a contract. They seem to be in quite a hurry—they said they’d move in tomorrow.”
Since it was I who’d given notice to leave, there wasn’t much to be done.
I offered thanks for the time I’d spent there and turned back with heavy steps.
“I was planning to move anyway.”
I could find another place to live.
The real problem was my leave request and the luggage I’d sent to my parents’ house.
‘Mom and Dad are going to be shocked.’
Since I’d needed to settle my affairs within three days and board the ship, I’d sent luggage to my family home in Lanheldin with only a letter enclosed.
“There should be my leave request and letters I sent to Ibeta.”
Even my leave request, which had the earliest dispatch date, wouldn’t have been delivered yet since today was still a holiday.
The plan was to go to the post office and retrieve the letters, then travel to Lanheldin to explain the situation to my parents and retrieve my luggage before coming back up.
“I was right to ask for a week.”
I grabbed only a bag with the essentials and rushed toward the post office.
“I’d like to retrieve all the mail sent under the name Carolina Diaz.”
The staff on duty seemed to remember me from yesterday, crying profusely.
I heard someone quietly mutter, “Was it actually a false alarm?”
They certainly had rich imaginations.
I let their increasingly detailed interpretations go in one ear and out the other, waiting. Soon the staff gently smiled and brought me a stack of letters.
“Should we dispose of these for you?”
the staff member asked kindly.
“Thank you.”
I gratefully accepted their offer.
Skipping any check to confirm all my sent letters were there.
The letters were shredded into fine pieces.
‘Now I just need to go home.’
I hurried off to catch a shared carriage heading to Lanheldin.
And the next day, my leave request was delivered to the Inspection Unit office.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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