Touch My Brother and You Die - Chapter 266

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#Side Story: The Melancholy of Elpium Rocksburg

I am Elpium Rocksburg. I am ten years old. A typical child’s introduction would end here, but by an unfortunate twist of fate, I am the legitimate heir who must carry on the Rocksburg name. In other words, I am the young master of this mansion.
“Sigh…”
With today’s curriculum—”The Ten Vital Points That Guarantee Death When Pierced” and “Introduction to Anatomy”—crammed into my head, I rode the Segway I’d inherited from the Duke and drove it along with a soft hum. It was exhausting. There was simply too much to learn in this world, and this educational program would continue for another six years. Because of this, I had evolved into the ultimate energy-conservation human being.
My life is predetermined. Yet I have no desire to do anything differently. I simply wish to drift along with the current and live my life without much effort. It’s not something a ten-year-old should say, but if I had a dream, it would be to endure minimal fatigue and stress, accomplish my duties adequately, and retire at an appropriate time.
To achieve this, I had to conserve my energy in daily life. Maintain composure. Never be surprised. Never meddle in unnecessary matters. That alone was my life’s motto.
When I see my half-siblings bounding about so healthily and the Brown Family living with such vitality, I sometimes wonder if I too should live like a proper child, full of energy. But laziness conquers all.
Heir education alone was killing me; I had no spare energy for anything else. They clearly had nothing to do, so they were simply burning off their energy through play.
When I shared these non-worries with the Duke and the Elder, the Duke embraced me tightly and lamented that the illness that typically strikes Academy second-year students had already arrived. The Elder grieved with me, but when the Duke was absent, he quietly sought me out and honestly told me that he had been the same at my age.
Rosalite was the unusual one. When I examined Rocksburg’s history, I was simply an ordinary ten-year-old Rocksburg.
Hearing those words, I felt reassured. I am ordinary. Not remarkable, not lacking, simply ordinary. Could any words comfort me more than this?
The Duke is an extraordinarily remarkable person. At my age, he had already become a cog in the Duke’s Household, participated in the deposition of Grace, who was then the Former Crown Princess, and by sixteen, he had captured Glen Hofen, who draws the most beautiful graphs in the world. He smashed a giant squid, sold commemorative squid bread, purchased Luke Rocksberg, the treasure of the Duke’s Household, for a mere six trillion Largol Rodels, froze sea anemones, toppled the Largol Imperial Palace, defeated Pope Joraab, and brought in Lucilucil Father, who had been the Crown Prince, to sit as the Rocksberg Security Chief.
Could all these achievements truly be accomplished by a single person? Living as the daughter of such a remarkable person was not easy. Unable to follow even half of the Duke’s footsteps, the expectations of those around me weighed heavily on my shoulders. The more I studied the deeds of the previous Rocksburg Dukes, the more I worried whether someone like me could properly inherit the ducal title.
At least the Elder seemed to understand the pain of being mediocre. But soon, Elder Eddie would have to retire from the front lines, take Maria and my aunt Judith Rocksberg, who would become my aunt by marriage, and move away.
It was truly lamentable. It seemed the Duke’s only concern was the loss of valuable helping hands, but I, possessing a human heart, warm blood, and tears, felt lonely at the mere thought of my family leaving home.
Now that I think about it, the Duke said something strange to my poor aunt the other day. That was probably when the Duke was mentally strained from consecutive late nights. Even accounting for that, it was a remarkably odd thing to say.
My aunt Judith, one year younger than me, suffered from a severe fever in her childhood. And whether as an aftereffect of that, her mind never developed. To put it bluntly, she was nearly an idiot.
Perhaps because of this, Aunt Yudi and Ram Bart, who were of the same kind, often went about together. Catching butterflies, rolling in the grass, observing dung beetles. They were living quite happily in their own way, but the Duke spoke harshly to Aunt Yudi.

“Are you going to live like that forever?”

To the Duke’s irritation, Aunt Yudi simply responded.

“Butterfly~, butterfly butterfly~! Catch the butterfly for me!”

I displayed my innocence with full force. At that moment, the Duke grabbed Judith by the neck and shook her vigorously, shouting, “I know everything already, so reveal your true form at once, you wicked evil spirit!”
The atmosphere suddenly turned into an exorcism, and I grew frightened, frantically ringing the emergency bell stationed throughout the Rocksburg Mansion. When I cried out that the Duke was trying to kill my aunt, Aster Brown arrived first and separated the Duke from Judith.
I still couldn’t forget the sight of the Duke crying and throwing a tantrum, insisting that she kept pretending to be foolish. What on earth had happened between the Duke and Aunt Judith?
“Aaahhh! She’s so terrifyingly scary! Run away!”
“Run away!”
What were these little brats up to now?
Though the twins feared nothing in this world, I was grateful that Marie and Lily at least feared me. Covered head to toe in mud from who knows where, they bolted toward Lucilucil Father’s Palace.
Where my younger siblings had been giggling, Miriam Amber hung limply from a tree branch, her eyes devoid of life.
“You’ve been through so much.”
“Yes… Will you take me down, Young Master?”
“Call for someone.”
“Yes… Thank you.”
Miriam, captured by my second father Lucilucil and now suffering at the twins’ hands for four years, descended to the ground without a sound and trudged after them.
She kept chanting like a mantra: just one more year, just one more year. Without such self-hypnosis, she couldn’t endure it. No matter how much money was offered, caring for those creatures and playing the role of friend was not something a person should do.
Even when trading something worth a single silver coin, one inspects its condition first—childhood ignorance had made Miriam what she was.
I hoped that through this, Miriam would come to understand something. Her father, Amram Amber, had committed grave sins and must dedicate his life to serving Rocksburg, but wasn’t Miriam’s situation different?
…
Of course, considering my second father’s nature, he wasn’t the type to hold onto someone for merely five years. He likely had other schemes to extend the contract. As for me, I harbored a sincere wish that Miriam would work at Rocksburg for a very long time.
That way, those spoiled twins wouldn’t cling to me, and I could live in peace. It was unfair to Miriam, but humans were inherently selfish creatures who prioritized their own well-being above all else.
Peace. This was the ultimate concept I sought. I could not forgive anyone who disturbed my peace—not even my parents.
“Eri!”
“Your Grace, the walking path is that way.”
“Mother came because she wanted to see Eri!”
“I am busy.”
I dismounted from my Segway and executed the secret technique I’d learned from Will Brown. I varied my pace while moving my body swiftly, ensuring my opponent wouldn’t detect the deception.
Being an utterly ordinary mediocrity, it had taken me nearly a year to master this step. But once learned, I never failed.
I successfully deceived the Duke’s eyes and evaded the woman rushing toward me for kisses.
“That was merely my afterimage.”
“Kyaaahhh!”
Due to the assassin’s step that created an afterimage, the Duke tumbled to the ground while trying to embrace me. I leisurely mounted my Segway again and accelerated.
“Hey! Mother just wants a kiss! Do you hate it that much!”
“I do.”
Well then, that’s all. Adios, Your Grace.
I bid the Duke farewell and smoothly drove my Segway to the Brown Estate. Today’s instructor was Jack Brown, and the subject was “practical self-defense for real combat.”
Leon Uncle had initially been considered as a candidate for this instructor, but after seeing that he’d wallpapered his room with photos of me, the Duke, and Marie and Lily, I felt so uncomfortable that I vehemently opposed it.
Why was Uncle so… so utterly repulsive?
“Young Lady! You’re ten minutes late!”
“Miriam was hanging from a tree on the way here.”
“Ah, those little masters have been doing that a lot lately!”
Indeed. Recently they keep setting traps to hang people from trees. It must be my younger siblings’ current obsession.
Jack Brown, the two-time consecutive Rocksburg Beauty Pageant champion, had removed his gas mask—apparently the Duke forbade him from wearing it for a while due to the concert preparations—exposing his shiny, sweaty face to the open air. I’d heard the Duke said it would ruin his skin.
“Alright then! Today we have a special bonus lesson!”
“A bonus lesson?”
“The mysteries of the human body! Hit here and they’ll definitely hurt so much they’ll die!”
“Ooooh.”
I applauded Jack Brown’s confident declaration and set down the textbook I’d been holding. So today wasn’t about killing techniques—it was about striking techniques.
“Now then, our assistant instructor, well-versed in taking hits! Aster Brown makes his entrance!”
Jack Brown seemed incredibly happy about this, and it didn’t seem like an illusion. Aster Brown, the Duke’s first-rank guard knight, appeared in the courtyard with a face like he’d just eaten a bug. The way he looked like he’d rather be anywhere else suggested either the Duke had given him permission or someone had dirt on him—probably food-related.
“So I have a question for our intelligent young lady. Which part do you think would be most fatal to strike?”
“Um… the eyes?”
I’m not actually intelligent at all—if I’m being honest, I’m just average among the average ten-year-olds in Rocksburg Territory—but if I voice that, the lesson won’t progress, so I’ll keep it to myself.
“Ah, eye strikes are excellent! Depriving your opponent of vision gives you a long-term advantage. You’re truly wise!”
“You are wise, young lady.”
“When striking the eyes, it’s best to form your hand like this—edge of the hand—and use the entire palm surface to strike. Much more stable than using fingers.”
Jack Brown told me to form a hand edge and suggested I try striking Aster. My heart ached a bit, but since Aster Brown had agreed to be here, I didn’t hesitate and struck the edge of my hand directly at Aster Brown’s eye socket.
“Aaaagh!”
“Bwahahaha! So merciless, that’s the best! Our young lady is the greatest!”
Jack Brown laughed so hard he clutched his belly, then wiped away the tears that had spilled, and continued.
“So back to the main point. The answer to what hurts so much you’ll die when struck is…”
“…”
“The groin!”
Well, I’ve heard about that. The organs are wrapped in just a layer of skin, so it causes insane pain, right? But that doesn’t apply to women, does it?
When I voiced my doubt and asked the instructor about it, he waved his hand dismissively and said that was a misconception.
“Women hurt like crazy there too, young lady.”
“It hurts enough to die, young lady. I got kicked there by my siblings when we were roughhousing as kids, and I nearly died.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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