The Trashy PD Has To Survive as an Idol - Chapter 132

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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132

“Did you talk to Yoon Hee-eon?”

I found myself momentarily at a loss for words.

‘I thought the timing might be right….’

Without thinking, I raised my hand to rub my brow, trying to hide my trembling eyelashes.
Kang Yi-chae?
No. He wasn’t the type to block my conversation with Sung Ji-won first and then bring it up from behind. It was more accurate to say he’d simply figured it out on his own.
I brushed the snow accumulating on my head while keeping my gaze lowered.

“How did you know?”
“At the year-end performance, you and Yi-chae came back together after you said you were going to the bathroom and he went to look for you. Things were awkward for a while after that.”

A faint laugh accompanied the addition: “You even changed the channel when Yoon Hee-eon appeared….”

“And lately, you’ve seemed in a good mood.”

When I lifted my head at that question, my reflection appeared in Sung Ji-won’s eyes. I turned my gaze away and brushed my chin.

“…Do you really want to know?”
“….”

The silence stretched out, feeling longer than it was.
Under Sung Ji-won’s steady gaze, I felt cold sweat trickling down my back despite the chill of the day.
I found myself pathetic for turning the question back on him—unwilling to yield or confess, yet unable to bring myself to tell him even if he wanted to know.

“…Yeah, no. I trust you.”

Sung Ji-won blinked several times, then brushed the snow off the bench with his hand and sat down.

“Well, it’s not like it’ll be bad for us anyway.”
“That….”
“Right?”
“…Yeah, that’s true.”

From a broader perspective, it wasn’t wrong.
I knew it wouldn’t work on the Members, but I ground my soul down and offered up an expression that looked harmless and virtuous.
Sung Ji-won let out a small chuckle without saying much and looked up at the sky.
A little ways off, the younger members bickered and squabbled as usual, chattering away.

“I got caught again this time, didn’t I.”
“….”
“I really can’t hide anything from you.”

Sung Ji-won shifted his gaze to meet mine, paused for a moment, then spoke again.

“…I was sorry about last time.”

Last time probably meant when he’d tried to take a call from a sasaeng in the Provinces.

“Yeah, you almost did something crazy.”
“Haha.”

I spoke with a joking tone but serious intent, and Sung Ji-won laughed out loud.
I could confidently say I knew what kind of person Sung Ji-won was.
Sincere, hardworking, capable, and sometimes soft-hearted.
Plus the resolute side I’d recently added to his profile.

‘But he wanted to find out something through a sasaeng?’

Was he insane?
That was exactly the kind of thinking I’d come up with.

“―There’s someone I’m looking for.”

Then Sung Ji-won’s words struck my ears clearly.

“Someone who helped me when I was struggling, so I wanted to find them no matter what. It happened back when I was a trainee at D.go, and since they were someone who’d been following me from back then, I thought maybe they’d know something.”

‘…Wait.’

Interpreting my reaction, Ji-won’s voice grew quieter and quieter.

“…So I was debating whether to accept it or not. I dragged it out like that, but it turned out to be nothing special. I’m sorry.”

‘Wait!!’

“Now that I think about it, it was stupid….”

As Ji-won hesitated while gauging my reaction, I struggled to suppress the surging excitement welling up inside me.

‘Damn it, this is a home run!’

But I had no memory of helping Ji-won.

“It’s a pretty painful memory for me… and I didn’t really want to bring it up to you, so it was hard to start talking about it….”

However, thinking back through the scenario progression so far, it had to be me. One hundred percent.
Kim Sung-hyun? I had helped him. The same went for Jung Da-jun. Given this flow, there was no way the person who had helped Ji-won in the past could be anyone else.
Whether I did a forward roll or a backward roll, whether I passed by on the KTX Train—my intuition screamed that this was my story.

‘What? It was this?’

With recent events, I couldn’t figure out what Ji-won was thinking at all, but unexpectedly, the main scenario suddenly surfaced.

“…When?”
“Right before I left my previous agency.”

When I asked cautiously, Ji-won clasped his hands together and spoke.
What was I doing back then?
Honestly, I couldn’t remember clearly.
It was clearly due to the System’s machinations rather than my own fault.
Until the main scenario began, my memories were locked away tight, and only when I reached a certain threshold would fragmented images surface—like an old television set filled with static and noise.
In other words, I couldn’t know exactly what I had done until the System Window unlocked my memories.
I decided to make good use of this excellent opportunity.

“Sung Ji-won.”
“Huh?”
“I’m just going to ask you three things.”

Min Ji-heon had once said that Koreans always go for the third attempt, and I’d hated hearing it then. But he was right—Koreans did always go for the third attempt.

“Does he work at the Broadcasting Station?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“The one who smokes?”
“…Y-yeah! That’s him!!”

Sung Ji-won stared at me as if he’d just seen a ghost.
I pulled out the most important question.

“He’s got absolutely zero manners, doesn’t he?”
“….”
“….”
“…Ho-yoon, that’s not right. He’s someone I owe a lot to. Let’s watch our language.”

…This is infuriating.
I’m clearly right, so why is he drawing a line with me?
Sung Ji-won had been nodding enthusiastically just moments before, but the instant he heard that question, his eyes shifted to an expression that screamed ‘what nonsense are you talking about?’

“His tone was a bit rough, sure, but thinking about it again, everything he said was spot-on. And he was really impressive.”
“….”

Rough but cool.
That’s not me, right?

‘The more I hear about it, the more it sounds like me.’

No matter how I looked at it, it was obviously me, and the fact that Sung Ji-won suddenly got serious about it irritated me.
On top of that, there was something genuinely unfair about this.

“You….”
“Huh?”

‘You dragged me through all this just to find some punk like that?!’

I still haven’t forgotten Sung Ji-won, pale and trembling before the Showcase, his whole body shaking with anxiety.
That’s why I chose consideration and compromise—to spare him further hurt.
Fine, let’s say he wanted to find the person who helped him.
But what of it? Just to find some nobody like me?

“Why is he so important to you?”
“Huh?”
“From what I hear, he works at a Broadcasting Station and chain-smokes like crazy—he’s obviously got no manners and no conscience! What’s so great about him anyway?”

I felt like I was spitting on myself.
There was so much I wanted to say, but I held it all back.
I couldn’t know how Sung Ji-won would react if I let it slip out. He stopped and stared at me intently.

“Seo Ho-yoon.”

And his expression hardened.

“Are you picking a fight with me?”
“….”

This guy’s kind, but he’s definitely not soft….
Feeling like I’d been struck hard from behind by someone I’d trusted so firmly, a sigh rose all the way to my throat.

“But how did you know he works at a Broadcasting Station and smokes?”

As I splashed my flushed face with cold water from my palms, Sung Ji-won asked with narrowed eyes.

‘Because it’s me….’

“I just guessed….”
“Hmm.”
“When you were a trainee, there was a high probability you’d meet someone from Broadcasting, and since people at Broadcasting Stations tend to smoke a lot….”

Even as I fumbled through such a ridiculous excuse, Sung Ji-won simply looked me over briefly before turning his gaze away.
He pressed his palm firmly against his eyes and then dragged his hand up through his hair.

“…Why didn’t you say anything?”
“What?”
“With Yoon Hee-eon too—if you’d just told me, your brother, then… wouldn’t things have been different?”

I’ve been giving you rides for a whole year.
Yet I spoke honestly to this ungrateful bastard, searching in all the wrong places.

“I could have resolved it for you, you know.”

Maybe he didn’t trust me.
Perhaps he thought that confiding in me would create a weakness in himself.
But when Sung Ji-won heard my words, he blinked a few times before letting out a soft laugh.

“Why are you laughing?”
“Haha, Seo Ho-yoon, you really….”

Even as I stared at him with cold eyes, Sung Ji-won couldn’t suppress his laughter. After a moment, he smoothed the corner of his mouth and spoke.

“The thing about Senior Yoon Hee-eon—I wasn’t hiding it for any particular reason.”
“Then?”
“I was just listening to what my grandmother said.”

What kind of nonsensical thing was he saying now?
I was troubled, but Sung Ji-won seemed to be in better spirits as he gathered the snow piled on the bench with his hands, pressing it firmly into a small ball shape as he spoke.

“She’s always been like that. She said that in our profession, we’ll hear a lot of harsh words. People gradually wear down, but especially at times like that….”

When his fingertips had turned slightly red, he placed the completed snowball on the bench where he sat.

“She wanted me to see only beautiful things and hear only kind words.”
“….”
“That’s why I did it.”

And he began packing snow again.

“You were worried I might get hurt hearing something harsh?”
“It sounds strange when you put it that way, doesn’t it? Though I know you don’t really care about that sort of thing.”

If you know that, then damn it….
I swallowed back the words that nearly burst from my throat.
Perhaps sensing what I wanted to say, Sung Ji-won chuckled softly and pressed the snow firmly with his hands.

“Anyway, it’s probably just my selfishness, but I want to show only good things to people I care about and let them hear only beautiful words.”

So, just like Sung Ji-won said at the beginning, there was genuinely no particular reason for hiding what Yoon Hee-eon had said.
Sung Ji-won eventually finished building a small snowman on the bench.

“Well, still, it feels refreshing to say it out loud.”

Sung Ji-won looked at my vacant expression, shrugged his shoulders, brushed the dust and snow from his hands, and blew warm breath onto his reddened fingers.

“The snow is falling so beautifully.”
“….”
“A white Christmas is so rare. It’s been four years, I think…. We’re lucky, aren’t we?”

The sub-vocalist viewing the same scenery and calling it garbage falling from the sky, and the main vocalist rejoicing at the white Christmas.
Just as I was about to mock those contradictory sentiments by saying what luck was even good about it, Seo Ho-jin’s words came to mind.

“You could just say ‘I understand, thank you,’ but why do you always have to twist your words like that?”

But what did I care.

“…We’d be lucky if money fell instead of snow.”

Or maybe a hit song, recognition, or fame.
As I spilled out whatever came to mind out of sheer emptiness, the corners of Sung Ji-won’s eyes curved upward and laughter spilled from his lips.
That appearance of his, shimmering like a star that gleamed with light even in any darkness….

“Hyungs!! What are you doing?! There’s so much snow here!”

Just then, from far away, Jung Da-jun, covered in snow from head to toe, waved his hand toward us. Sung Ji-won saw that sight and rose from his seat with a faint smile.

“Coming now!”

Left alone like that, I plopped down onto the spot where Sung Ji-won had been sitting and tilted my head back.

“…This is annoying.”

[Why? Because of Sung Ji-won?]

The System Window appeared beside me.

“He’s annoying too, but that’s not it.”

I shook my head to clear my eyes and pulled the padded beanie back over my head.
As my excitement subsided and my brain began functioning properly, I could see it all the more clearly.
Here I was, a man without patience, waiting for Sung Ji-won to speak first, and needlessly stepping in to handle Yoon Hee-eon without any benefit to myself.
Only now did I realize why I’d been acting so unlike myself all this time.

“…I’m completely screwed.”

I care about Sung Ji-won.

Ding!

[????]
[Why…?]
[Can’t proceed with the scenario? That’s okay, we have plenty of time ahead!]

‘Is it just Sung Ji-won?’

I ignored the System Window spouting nonsense without grasping the situation, and looked at each of my members’ faces one by one.
I tried to gauge how angry I’d be if they told me not to concern myself with them.
The conclusion.

‘I’m furious.’

Ever since Jung Da-jun’s double contract, I’d felt a nagging unease at the back of my head.
Various unsettling feelings had crept in, but I was too busy making a living and unwilling to admit it, so I’d ignored it and moved on.
In the end, it took a year before I had to face the truth.

“Ugh….”

Not only do I look after my own interests but theirs as well, and if anyone dares to mistreat them, my head spins and I need to retaliate to feel satisfied—that’s what it means.
Not only do I take care of my own rice bowl, but I also look after those guys, of course. And if anyone else dares to mistreat them, I’ll lose my mind and have to get revenge to feel satisfied. That’s what I’m saying.

“Damn it, I’m just creating another weakness…”

Don’t be so gloomy just because it doesn’t match up!!

From the cafe still open at the street corner across the way, Black Call’s carol flowed out softly.

[White Christmas
I smile happily before you
White snow falling from the sky
I want to remember all of this for a lifetime]

“That’s not it!! Ugh, this is so unfair!”
“Hey, want to bet? Want to make a wager?”
“Go ahead then. But in return, I’m putting all my gaming consoles on the line, got it?”
“Fine, let’s do it.”

Between the music, I could hear the members bickering noisily about something—though I couldn’t quite tell what.

“Ho-yoon! Come here and tell us who’s wrong!”

I didn’t respond and just kept staring up at the ceiling.

“When exactly will I get to coast through life? How much longer do I have to be good before you give me a gift?”

[I really do want to give you something. But Seo Ho-yoon, you haven’t exactly lived that virtuously…]

“In times like this, you should read the room a bit.”

I was just whining because I felt like it.

[White Christmas
You who smiled happily before me]

What should I do going forward?
What kind of constraints will this acceptance place on me?
I weighed these things carefully, one by one.

‘Nothing will really change that much.’

Even if I expand my dependents, the scenario progression won’t be hindered anyway.
No matter what, my goal of becoming a top-tier idol remains unchanged.

[Carols ringing out in the distance
I want to remember all of this for a lifetime]

Seo Ho-yoon—this bastard would still exploit everything to achieve what he wanted.
…except the members.

“…Okay.”

After organizing my thoughts, I watched the snowflakes now falling in thick, heavy clusters, then rose from my seat and approached the members.

“What, what is it?”
“Ah! Listen, listen quick. I’m going crazy from how unfair this is??”

Our maknae was so indignant that he kept barking, but honestly, it didn’t register with me.

‘Youngest, I’m even more unfair about this.’

Black Call’s Christmas song breaking through the ceiling with its box office success.
Sung Ji-won about to do something insane just to find me.
The main scenario showing no signs of progressing at all.
Not a single thing had gone my way from beginning to end.

“—Isn’t that right?”
“You guys fight over something like that?”
“It’s serious.”

…Yet somehow, it was fine.

“…Seriously.”

Of course, that was the most absurd part of it all.
I folded my arms and muttered to myself.

“I wanted to reclaim my original passion, not just be serious about it.”
“…???”

The members all tilted their heads in unison, question marks floating above their heads.

“Jung Da-jun.”
“Yes?”

I grabbed the back of Jung Da-jun’s neck—the one closest to me—and leaned forward, resting my chin on his shoulder. Then I deliberately grumbled in an aggrieved tone.

“Ho-yoon, life’s been rough lately.”
“….”
“….”

A chill sharper than the winter wind swept between us.
Jung Da-jun, forcibly grabbed by the waist, couldn’t escape and flailed his arms in panic.

“It’s hard for me too when you’re like this!”
“Hmph.”
“Ah! Ah!! Why are you really like this?!”

Eventually, Jung Da-jun bounced and struggled, and the moment I let go, he scrambled away. Only then did I giggle.
The members complained endlessly that something was wrong, that I shouldn’t have exposed my aegyo on broadcast, that it seemed like I’d replaced my steel face with a diamond one.

“Why, why did you become Kang Yi-chae? What was in that Christmas cake earlier?!”
“Ah, now I want to challenge the leader….”
“Being leader is really, really, really hard….”
“Why.”

The members gave me worried looks, saying I seemed ill, but they were the ones who should really be concerned.
Guys, I’m sorry.
You’ve caught a crazy one.

[Merry Merry White Christmas!]

Actually, I’m not really sorry at all.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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