The Trashy PD Has To Survive as an Idol - Chapter 121

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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121

What kind of group was Lia Purple?
Five years since their debut—seniors far ahead of us.
Yet in terms of fanbase and recognition, we were pulling ahead.
They were an idol group currently riding high on a song that had recently climbed the charts through algorithmic momentum.
With their management tightening lately, perhaps that’s why—

“Hello! One, two, three! Let’s go! We are Lia Purple!”
“We are Lia Purple!!”

Their energy was fierce.

“Ah, hello!”
“We are The Dun!”

We found ourselves swept up in their momentum, shouting back with equal vigor.
Right. Better to match their fire than to seem intimidated, guys.

“We apologize for the sudden summons! Since our collaboration announcement hasn’t been released yet, we need to be careful, but we felt it was urgent to discuss some matters with you.”
“Yes, thank you so much for making time for us despite your busy schedule.”

As we exchanged greetings in turn and moved to take our seats, the System Window suddenly appeared.

[Choice
-Did you really think you could call us here without being prepared?
-Hmm… nice to see you, Ho-yoon.
-Guys, our collaboration is doomed.]

‘Damn it.’

I’d been trying to curb my cursing lately, but watching this System Window pull this crap made it impossible to hold back. This was clearly just meant to mess with me for no real reason.
There’s no way I could choose the first or third option… so it’s telling me to go with the second one.
Gritting my teeth, I rapidly spat out the line through clenched words.

“It’s great to meet you.”
“…Sorry?”
“Nice to meet you.”
“…Did I mishear that?”

I felt the members glancing at me, but I kept my expression stone-faced and sat down with composure.
Fortunately, the Lia Purple Leader followed up with a loud greeting while remaining stiffly formal, which allowed us to gloss over the awkwardness.

“Congratulations on the massive success of this Kill the Lights activity!!”
“Ah, well, thank you….”

Sung Ji-won, startled by Lia Purple’s military-strict demeanor since we first met, widened his eyes and offered an awkward thank you.
But they didn’t stop at the first verse.

“We were also deeply moved by the previous Shining Star. The Ocean Train and Kill the Lights songs that followed have transcended being merely good—they’ve solidified The Dun’s worldview even further!”
“…Thank, thank you. I’ve also been regularly listening to Lia Purple’s Headlight! I’m always amazed by how cleanly the high notes rise….”

For reference, this was a real situation with no cameras present.
Something about it reminded me of how Lee Ji-hyun used to go overboard sometimes.
As Sung Ji-won, having taken the baton from the Lia Purple Leader, launched into praise for Lia Purple with a moved expression, a warm atmosphere settled over the conference room.

‘You guys….’

…This isn’t the time for this.
We’re in serious trouble.

“—So about our collaboration.”
“Ah, yes.”

The moment I brought it up, the overheated “You’re the best,” “No, you’re the best” atmosphere instantly deflated.
Lia Purple, already aware of the gravity of the situation, couldn’t even meet our eyes and fidgeted awkwardly.

“We heard it’s going to be ‘Let’s Spend This Night.'”
“…Yes, that’s a song that our agency’s senior Woo-seo made a huge hit with… so the CEO is pushing it very hard.”
=Look, I’m really sorry, but we have to do it no matter what.

I understood perfectly well without them needing to appeal with such an agonized expression. Their agency seemed just as dire as Dae Pa-sung’s situation.

‘…Sigh.’

Okay, well… okay for now.
I swept my hair back and changed the subject to shift the mood.

“Then shall we… listen to it first?”

Everyone nodded with tense eyes. The Lia Purple Junior Member rushed over to play the song, and they all listened with serious, solemn expressions.

[Tonight I’ll show you
The secret I’ve been hiding
Ooh Hoo Let me show you
Don’t try to run away anymore]

“…Oh.”

The song was better than expected. It had a rich melody and composition worthy of its fame, with the theme of “let’s spend this night together.”
Besides, the initial beat wasn’t as sticky as I’d anticipated.

“Even hearing it again, the melody is really good.”

Kang Yi-chae swayed his head gently to the rhythm. His eyes gleamed as the composer’s spirit seemed to ignite at the sound of a good song.
Then Kim Sung-hyun, who had been tense about whether the song might be strange, finally relaxed when it seemed decent enough. He moistened his parched throat with water, but upon hearing the next lyrics, he immediately spat it back out.

[Every night I’m lonely
Please hold me tight (Ah-)
I wish you’d hold me close]

“Pfft!”
“…Geez.”
“Cough, cough…. S-sorry….”
“….”

Not just Lia Purple, but we too began to pale.

[Babe, Give me a Kiss Kiss!
Let me Bite Bite!]

…Ah….

[Babe Please come to me (Ah-)
I want to fill myself with you]

“…*cough*, ugh….”

‘How did this even pass censorship?’

No matter how many times I listened, I couldn’t get used to it. The composer’s unwavering determination to cram every possible innuendo into an all-ages song without triggering the censors was painfully obvious.
In this room, there wasn’t a single person who didn’t understand what those lyrics meant—including Kim Sung-hyun, who was literally choking to death. Of course, our youngest member was always the exception.
While everyone else’s faces had gone pale, Jung Da-jun was the only one clapping and beaming with a bright smile.

“Wow! The melody is so romantic and nice!”
“….”
“But what about the last part? What does it mean to fill something…?”
“Da-jun!!!”

I urgently covered Jung Da-jun’s mouth and took a deep breath. Even with his mouth covered, he mumbled something like “Does it mean filling with love?” but the atmosphere had grown so frigid—like turning on the air conditioning in the middle of winter—that even I was left speechless.

“…What do we do about this?”
“…We have to change it. We absolutely cannot use this.”

Even when I listened to it alone, I thought “Ugh, this is a bit much,” but hearing it together with Lia Purple and Jung Da-jun—who was practically a national treasure of innocence for a teenager these days—made it feel impossibly awkward.
When I laid it out bluntly, Lia Purple’s youngest member clenched her fist with an expression that screamed “That’s exactly what I was thinking!”

“We did bring it up to the company, but they said it would be difficult. They claim we don’t have a song more representative than this in our agency. Um… what do you think about it at Dae Pa-sung?”
=Hey, I think we’re screwed. Can your company talk them out of this?
“Our company doesn’t hold a different opinion on the matter.”
=Our company is useless.
“….”

Lia Purple fell silent again, apparently understanding perfectly.
Dae Pa-sung, especially the CEO, had a habit of going suspiciously quiet whenever situations like this came up.
It seemed like they’d been pressured by Lia Purple’s agency to take on the song, but probably figured if they told me beforehand, I’d raise all kinds of hell, so they kept putting it off until the decision was made without any prior notice.
I let out a sigh.

‘Has my cooldown expired?’

Even if a person genuinely tries to live a good life, the world doesn’t cooperate quite so smoothly.
I was carefully choosing my words on how to handle this when Lia Purple opened the conversation first.

“I… would it be alright if I just made one statement?”
“Yes, go ahead.”

The main dancer took a deep breath, as if she’d made some monumental decision.

“Phew, I think everyone here already knows our situation. So let’s skip the preamble.”
“….”
“With a concept like this, we’ll… well, at least Lia Purple will completely bomb.”
“Oh, unnie…!!”
“So here’s what I’m saying!”

Lia Purple’s main dancer squeezed her eyes shut.

“Let’s just dance like wooden puppets!!!”

The other members of Lia Purple, who had been taken aback by the main dancer’s bluntness, soon nodded in grim agreement.

“First, absolutely no touching. We’ll inevitably need some paired couple formations to vary the choreography, but let’s maintain a two-meter distance between people—about two arm-lengths apart—minimize conversation as much as possible, and avoid making eye contact!!”
“That’s right! Don’t talk without your mask on!”
“Of course not!!”
“…Epidemiological guidelines?”

Kang Yi-chae muttered at the oddly familiar phrasing.
But Lia Purple was completely serious. They didn’t want to waste the opportunity they’d barely secured through their viral comeback.
On the surface, it seemed like an absurd suggestion, but….

‘No, that’s actually really smart.’

I had to admit I agreed with their proposal.
Though the words themselves sounded a bit ridiculous and even amusing, Lia Purple was genuinely wise.

“…Then shall we try practicing that way?”

Sung Ji-won carefully suggested it, and with everyone’s agreement, we moved to the Lia Purple Agency’s practice room to rehearse….

[Every night I feel so alone]

“Is this about two meters?”
“Looks just right!”

Good? That’s not quite right….
Normally, the choreography would involve holding hands, but with them standing about two meters apart, just stretching their fingertips like aliens in those old sci-fi movies—E.X.—it just looked strange.

“I’ll spin on my own!!”
“Then I’ll pretend to spin you!!”

[Give me a kiss kiss
Let me bite bite]

The dance should have progressed like a waltz where one partner spins the other, but with them standing apart and only reaching out their hands while the other person spun on their own, it looked less like choreography and more like a dark sorcerer controlling a puppet. Kang Yi-chae watched the spectacle and quietly murmured.

“Isn’t there that one famous meme from way back?”
“The dark wizard controlling an idol from the audience seating?!”
“Oh, yeah!! That one!”

Anyway, after the roughly four-minute performance ended, no one could find words.

“…W-well, it wasn’t so bad, was it?!”
“Of course not!”

The Lia Purple Leader spoke cautiously, gauging the mood, and Jung Da-jun shot up, giving a thumbs up. Watching the other members force themselves to nod along and applaud, I felt a pang of sympathy for our situation. It was a scene that made it hard to breathe.
We should wrap this up soon.

“…Seniors, shall we take a break?”
“Let’s do that!”

Everyone from Lia Purple nodded frantically. I thought they must be having a tough time too.

“I’ll step out for a moment.”
“Yes, go ahead!”

I bowed silently in greeting and strode outside the building to get some air.
This was something of a habit, really. I’d always go out and smoke a cigarette while organizing my thoughts.
I rubbed my lips and muttered to myself.

“…What do I do?”

I’d honestly thought it was wise to structure the performance according to Lia Purple’s input, but seeing it actually happen changed my perspective.
This is…. well….

“What did they call it again?”

Ding!

[Bluetooth Circus Troupe?]

“Ah! Right, that’s it.”

Yes, the perfect description. I snapped my fingers and nodded along with the characterization.

‘This won’t satisfy the craving though.’

Well then, let me set aside the craving for now and activate the happiness circuit instead.
For now, the best strategy was to avoid getting caught up in scandal.
Perhaps the extreme restraint in physical contact during the dance might even earn public sympathy, or conversely, it could blow up as a funny video instead.
I could already auto-play in my mind how people would mock this Bluetooth Circus Troupe.

[Hey
you guys
I get it, I know you’re serious
└Man, their determination not to cause scandal is way too obvious lolololololololololololololololololol]
[But why do a collab in the first place if this is how it’s gonna be? lol Both the people doing it and watching are just uncomfortable
└I’m completely satisfied though
└└I understand]

“…Wait?”

Come to think of it, this isn’t so bad either?
Setting aside the dopamine injection strategy coming from the year-end stage performance, playing the victim to the public didn’t seem like such a terrible approach after all.
However, there was one thing bothering me.

Ding!

[^^]
[Seo Ho-yoon]
[What are you thinking about?]

Right, this damned Quest.

‘They asked me to show overwhelming quality.’

But with this circus act, I couldn’t display overwhelming quality. I collapsed onto the Building Back Stairs and raked my hand through my hair in frustration.

“What I’m thinking.”

[…Huh?]

“That you’re going to bury me someday.”

“Haha, would you like me to show you the quest again?”

The System Window read my thoughts perfectly and mocked me.

[Quest ♡Re♡Ar♡rived♡
Successfully complete the collaboration stage with a sexy concept!
Showcase overwhelming quality to the public.
Success: 5,000 Points awarded
Failure: Dance Stat slightly decreased
(B+ ➝ C+)]

A short groan escaped me. No matter what I thought, the message was clear—come out with a s-e-x-y c-o-n-c-e-p-t worthy of public recognition. I buried my face in my crossed arms and let out a slight laugh.

“Which mountain do you want me buried on? Pick somewhere in Gyeonggi Province.”

hahahahaha
[Read my mind again♡]

Look at it—says what it wants and vanishes. This tiresome System Window.
With a sigh at this coercion, I sent a text to Lee Ji-hyun. An emergency request for help.

[Me: Lee Ji-hyun]

Before I could even finish typing the next sentence, the “1” disappeared and Lee Ji-hyun’s reply came back immediately.

[Planning Team Lee Ji-hyun: Lia Purple?]

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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