The Return of Lilietta - Chapter 52

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 52

Lillieta remained unshaken. She simply continued speaking calmly.

“The oracle, His Holiness the Pope, would have answered that if you hadn’t ignored my request back then, you could have prevented my disappearance. Right?”

Richard stared down at her blankly. His face had turned pale as if all the blood had drained from his entire body.

“God confirmed it. That you failed to stop it. That you could have saved me but didn’t. Otherwise, there’s no reason why someone so diligent would suddenly shut himself away drinking.”

Richard’s face contorted.

Lillieta looked up at him and tilted her head. Following that movement, her thin blonde hair fell across her shoulder.

“Am I right?”

At that moment, Richard recalled a memory from the past.

His childhood. When Richard was a 13-year-old boy who had just decided to become a holy knight. When Lillieta was still an innocent 7-year-old child.

The day Richard had fought with Leonhardt, who scolded him about what academy he’d attend and what holy knights even do, and ran out to hide in a corner of the garden.

Young Lillieta had found him.

That day, Lillieta crawled through a gap in the hedge and crept under the hydrangea bushes.

Under the bushes where blue flowers clustered like cotton candy formed a roof, there was a damp, mossy smell. The interior surrounded by hydrangeas taller than adults was a small castle made of flowers and leaves.

The red-haired boy hiding inside hastily wiped away his tear stains when his little sister appeared.

“H-how did you get here?”

“Richard showed me before. You said it was your secret base.”

Lillieta smiled brightly and sat at the feet of the crouched Richard, chattering away.

“Richard, you know, you’re not really angry at Leonhardt, are you?”

“What?”

“I was watching from the beginning? Richard, you didn’t look angry, you looked sad.”

“Hey, what does a little kid know? Go away!”

“No, Lillieta knows. Leonhardt said he didn’t understand why Richard was acting like that, but Lillieta thinks she knows. Listen, Richard, okay? Tell me if Lillieta’s right.”

Small hands covered in dirt from crawling shook Richard’s shoulder. The boy who tried to turn away had no choice but to look back at his sister. He could see her young face seriously furrowing her brows.

“Richard has been talking about holy knights for a long time. You even read me stories about Saint Nicholas. So you thought about becoming a holy knight for a really long time. It wasn’t a sudden decision.”

“…”

“You thought about it so seriously and hard, but Leonhardt asked if you really thought about it before deciding. That made you really sad and hurt, right?”

“…”

“That’s why you wanted to explain your reasons properly, but Leonhardt was too scary, he’s really scary when he’s angry, so you couldn’t speak well, right?”

“…”

“You didn’t mean to yell at Leonhardt either. And you didn’t cry because you got scolded. You cried because you felt wronged and frustrated. Right?”

The boy stared blankly at his young sister. He felt as if his inner feelings, which even he didn’t fully understand, had been completely exposed.

It was very embarrassing, but he wasn’t angry. Lillieta’s innocent face as she chattered was so pure. He could clearly see that she was trying hard to understand him.

“Right? Lillieta’s right, isn’t she? Richard didn’t run away because you hate Leonhardt. You ran out because you wanted to talk more but couldn’t find the words!”

Above their heads, sunlight filtered through the hydrangea clusters that hung like fluffy clouds. Lillieta’s blonde hair sparkled in the light.

“You know, Richard, what you wanted to say and what Leonhardt wanted to hear are actually the same thing, aren’t they? The reason Richard wants to become a holy knight—Leonhardt is curious about that too! So, if you just try talking again, Leonhardt won’t be angry and Richard won’t feel hurt, right?”

Her golden head tilted to one side. Her violet eyes narrowed as she checked Richard’s expression. A small, lovely smile.

“Lillieta, am I right?”

And now, years later.

Before his eyes, the grown-up Lillieta tilted her head and asked.

“Am I right?”

The sister he thought he had lost forever due to his own fault had miraculously returned and was asking him the same question as in childhood. Her calm face showed no sign of blame or resentment.

Just like back then. Simply trying earnestly to understand him.

The grown man gave the same answer as when he was a child.

“Yes, Lillieta… you’re right.”

Richard collapsed weakly. Crouching at the feet of his sister sitting on the bench, he continued speaking as if confessing.

“I had… three opportunities. My first question was how I could find you. His Holiness the Pope received an oracle and answered. You cannot be found.”

“…”

“My second question was whether you were alive somewhere. For this, His Holiness said no oracle came down. God didn’t give an answer…”

“…”

“And my last question was whether I could have prevented your disappearance if I had followed you that night. God spoke through His Holiness the Pope. Yes… yes, I really could have prevented it.”

He clutched his face with both hands. His thick-knuckled hands trembled.

“I finally… I finally faced it. The truth I had tried to deny somehow. Because of me… you disappeared. Lillieta, I couldn’t bear it… I absolutely couldn’t bear it. Not with a clear mind. So Lillieta, it is my fault. Even God said so.”

“Richard.”

“So… when you say it’s not my fault, I feel even more miserable. At first I was afraid you’d resent me, but now I’m afraid that you don’t resent me. I know… I know it was my fault.”

He clenched his teeth so hard his jaw tensed, then let out a groan-like laugh.

“Haha, I’m really trash… such trash. I’m sorry, Lillieta. It’s all because of me that you suffered in that terrible world. I’m sorry…”

“Richard, look at me.”

Lillieta reached out to Richard crouched at her feet. She forcibly grabbed and pulled down the hands covering his face. Richard looked up at her with wet eyes.

“You know, the world where I grew up had no divine power, no pope, no holy knights. Most people there think there’s no such thing as God. I’m the same. Richard, I don’t believe in God.”

“What?”

“Of course, this world might have gods unlike that place. They even give oracles. But I don’t care what God said. So I’ll speak only in clear facts.”

“Clear… facts?”

“The one who kidnapped me and erased my memory was a wizard named Pascal. Not you. That’s clear. Whether you could have saved me that night or not isn’t clear. No one can know that, since we can’t turn back time.”

“No, but God—”

“Right, I don’t believe in God, but you do. So let’s say God said so. Let’s say you could have stopped it but didn’t. Let’s say that’s a clear fact. So what?”

“So what?”

“So, do you think I’d resent you for not stopping it? Did you think I’d blame you for everything I went through? Did you think I’d want you to be punished, to suffer like I did?”

Lillieta looked down at Richard’s wavering eyes, that same color as hers, and smiled bitterly.

“That’s impossible. I could never do that, Richard. Rather…”

She bit her lips tightly, then hung her head low.

“Why did you live so hard? Why did everyone…”

Her voice came out wet. Richard’s eyes widened. Lillieta continued without lifting her head.

“Why did you break down just because I was gone? Why did Leonhardt break off his engagement, why did mother waste away like a ghost, why did father go into seclusion… why did everyone live so miserably?”

“…Lillieta?”

“If everyone had lived too well after I disappeared, that would have been a little sad, but there was no need to suffer this much. You could have been a little happy. After grieving appropriately, the remaining people should live well, but why, like you were being punished, when no one did anything wrong, why, why did everyone…”

“L-Lillieta, are you crying?”

Richard hurriedly got up and cupped her face. Lillieta blinked slowly.

“Richard, do you think the me who returned would be happy seeing how miserably my family lived, thinking ‘they loved me this much, my absence was this significant’? No. That’s not it. I’m not happy at all. I just want to somehow turn everything back to how it was…”

Her tears seeping through her blinking eyelids touched his hands cupping her cheeks. Richard flinched as if burned. Lillieta closed her eyes.

“Because it feels like everyone became unhappy because of me, like everyone spent ten whole years in such hardship, like I ruined everyone, I’m so sorry for that… I can’t breathe.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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