The Physician of Traditional Medicine Returns from Murim - Chapter 227

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 227

Im Juweon was an ordinary high school senior in South Korea.

She lived a daily life similar to other students attending liberal arts high schools.

When she woke up, she went to school, at school she attended classes, after classes she did self-study, came home to do additional studying, and slept when drowsiness came.

Her grades were around 5th place in her class.

She wasn’t bad at studying, but she wasn’t exceptionally good either.

…Actually, she thought she was good at it until middle school, or even until her first year of high school.

“Our daughter just doesn’t try hard enough, but if she did, she could even get into Korean University!”

Back then, she believed her mother’s words completely. That once she got to high school and got her act together, she could go not just to Korean University but even Harvard.

Of course, after entering high school, she soon understood her place.

Korean University was a place where even being 1st in the entire school, not just the class, might not guarantee admission. And the habit of studying carelessly couldn’t be fixed overnight.

Still, until her second year, she thought she could at least get into a recognizable university in Seoul.

‘Even Jigeouk University is going to be close…’

At some point, she realized the reality. Even that was only possible because she was lucky – Jigeouk University’s admission scores had dropped significantly in recent years and there was a regional talent program.

Im Juweon just accepted it as it was.

“When we go to Seoul later, Juweon will live in Sinchon, right? I’m going to live alone near Hongdae!”

“What do you mean Sinchon.”

Looking at her friend who still didn’t know reality was pathetic, but she didn’t tell her.

She’d realize it soon enough anyway.

In her first year, they used to dream together about college life in Seoul, but now it all felt pointless.

She’d just go to college according to her grades and somehow get a job.

Then she’d earn enough not to starve to death.

“Oh, why why! You didn’t forget our promise to go clubbing right when we turn twenty at midnight, did you?”

Did they make such a promise?

“I already found a hair salon on Instagram? I’m going to dye my hair this red color. This kind of pink seems like it needs bleaching…”

What was this about clubs and hair dyeing? Why would she need to do such useless things?

Even after going to university, she’d have to manage her grades just like in high school to get into a decent company.

Even after getting into a decent company, well, wouldn’t she need to start preparing for retirement early?

“Right, right. Let’s just study. You need to get into university to go to Seoul, don’t you?”

Im Juweon let out a deep sigh.

It was her friend’s life, so what did she care?

“Should we buy an officetel in Seoul in advance for when Juweon goes to university?”

“What? How do you know which university Juweon will go to and buy a place in advance?”

“Oh, the department head keeps talking every day about how rent in the metropolitan area is rising~. We could collect rent and then live there ourselves, and collect rent again later, right?”

“Even so, that’s getting too ahead of yourself! Besides, they say officetel prices don’t go up!”

“Is that so?”

But her parents were a bit, no, quite burdensome.

It seemed unlikely she’d go to university in Seoul anyway. Less than 50%, no 30%… no 10%?

Of course, there was still more than half a year left, so if she worked hard from now, she might be able to go, but everything was so uncertain.

“If I do end up going to Seoul, I’ll stay in the dormitory, so Mom and Dad should prepare for your retirement.”

“Oh my, yes! Our Juweon shouldn’t worry about anything and just study!”

She didn’t even know if she could go to university or not.

She didn’t even know if she’d be alive next year, so what was this talk about buying an officetel in advance? Just add it to the parents’ retirement preparation.

‘It’s not that I particularly want to die or anything.’

But statistically, traffic accident deaths were the most common, so who knew if she’d die tomorrow or not.

‘I’ll probably be alive to take the college entrance exam though. …I really hate it.’

Would her parents be disappointed if her grades came out as they were now?

Well, it couldn’t be helped anyway.

‘If I just worked hard, I think I could get into a Seoul university.’

Her father had studied from a poor family in an era with much more competition and graduated from a prestigious university.

She had inherited good brains and received all kinds of support, yet couldn’t raise her grades.

Simply because of lack of effort.

‘Some people study 14 hours, even 16 hours.’

If Im Juweon studied 14 hours, no, just 10 hours a day, she could probably get in.

‘Let me pull myself together and work hard.’

Even after watching motivational videos earnestly, her resolutions always lasted only three days.

Some days she was relatively successful and studied for 8 hours.

‘Let me sleep a bit and then do it.’

Other days she slept all day and ruined the entire day.

When she woke up, her head would be a bit clearer. Sleeping was recovering stamina, so it was okay.

‘Let me work hard tomorrow.’

There were plenty of days when she didn’t study at all like that.

On average, did she even study 4 hours a day?

‘And I call myself a high school senior.’

I calculated the pure study time in my diary, and whenever Mother cut fruit for me, I felt deep guilt.

‘Since I ate this, I’ll study for exactly 3 hours. I can do it.’

But concentrating for 3 straight hours happened maybe once or twice a month at most.

Within 30 minutes, Im Juweon was lying on her bed.

‘I’ll sleep for just 1 hour and wake up to study with a clear head.’

Of course, an hour later Im Juweon turned off her alarm.

‘I’ll wake up at 6 tomorrow.’

Since I messed up today, I absolutely have to do it at dawn.

Even while making this resolution, she hoped tomorrow wouldn’t come.

It would be nice to just keep sleeping. Why do I have to wake up again?

And Im Juweon naturally turned off her phone at 6 o’clock.

‘Getting a good sleep and then studying gives the best chance of being in good condition. I just need to do 10 hours today.’

She set a goal.

She failed.

She resolved that tomorrow would be different.

She failed again.

“Mother, my head hurts so much. I’ll just go to the Traditional Korean Medicine Clinic briefly and then study.”

“Oh my, are you okay? Should Mother go with you? You must be under a lot of stress.”

Im Juweon couldn’t bring herself to say it was because she slept too much.

“It’s right nearby anyway. I’ll go and come back alone.”

I really need to do it properly after I come back.

She clutched her throbbing head and went to the Traditional Korean Medicine Clinic.

* * *

“You’re saying I have depression?”

Im Juweon frowned.

I waited a moment for her to think, but Im Juweon soon shook her head.

“I’m not particularly depressed though. I don’t cry or anything like that.”

“Depression doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be depressed and crying all the time. Loss of interest in daily life, lack of motivation, and inappropriate guilt are also within the scope of depression.”

“How can daily life be interesting when you’re a senior in high school? It’s just study, study… I was always like this with things that don’t interest me. My personality is somewhat cynical.”

This was a typical characteristic of depression patients without insight.

Though expressions are changing to mood disorders or depressive episodes, people still only think of those who are depressed all day when depression is mentioned.

“Even when you hate studying, you can look forward to a delicious lunch, or enjoy talking with friends.”

“…There are kids like that, I guess.”

Im Juweon’s eyes became even more cynical.

But she soon chuckled, remembering that she too seemed to have highlighted the meal schedule with anticipation back in middle school.

“I do seem to have no interest in anything. But inappropriate guilt really isn’t it. For a senior, I really don’t study much. I just pretend in my room and watch motivational videos all the time.”

From my perspective, the inappropriate guilt was more prominent.

She lacked confidence even when expressing her thoughts, and hesitated even when arguing back.

While better than patients who insist they’re absolutely right in terms of treatment possibilities, the symptoms themselves were clear.

“I don’t cry while walking down the street, and I don’t cut myself, so shouldn’t I be okay? My family is harmonious, and I have friends. I think I do well in studying compared to how much I actually study.”

That’s just my personality. I’m not extremely depressed. I don’t even think about dying.

She acknowledged that her mental health wasn’t good, but it wasn’t quite an illness.

“You don’t only get treatment when you’re stabbed and have a hole. You go to the hospital even for fractures, sprains, or even when muscles get a little stiff.”

It was very common, but also a regrettable phenomenon of missing the early treatment period.

Depression, like physical illnesses, can start like a cold and become pneumonia, or start as a sprain and tear ligaments.

Some people lecture that you should overcome that period yourself and change your mindset.

But it’s difficult for both the person saying that and the patient themselves to accurately judge how serious the symptoms are.

“Is that so…”

Im Juweon had mental barriers as she couldn’t escape social prejudice.

But perhaps because she was young and had lived as a model student, treatment cooperation wasn’t completely impossible.

I opened the DSM diagnostic criteria for depression and explained while circling each item.

“Weight loss, you said you had that, right?”

Starting with the most objective part.

“Yes. I don’t eat well…”

“Hypersomnia is definite, and you have fatigue too.”

“Yes.”

“Depressed mood – I think you have it, but let’s say you don’t. Decreased concentration would naturally accompany it.”

“Is not being able to concentrate on studying also a symptom of illness…?”

“Yes. Self-blame and guilt. You also blame yourself. And your interest in daily life has decreased.”

“…”

I pointed out each subjective symptom one by one.

Since she didn’t deny the symptoms that were there, she accepted that more than 5 applied.

“Not everyone lives like this?”

“No. You can get better too, Juweon.”

“Do kids who study well do it overflowing with motivation rather than forcing themselves to sit there like me…?”

She opened her eyes wide for the first time since entering the Traditional Korean Medicine Clinic.

Hmm, it was a bit different from being full of motivation.

“It’s not about connecting it to whether you study well or poorly. There are friends who do worse than you, Ms. Juweon, right?”

“Many of them.”

“Were those friends this uninterested in daily life?”

“…They’re already thinking about going to clubs, waiting for game updates…”

“That’s right. Moods are naturally good sometimes and bad other times, bad sometimes and then good again. You feel good because the weather is warm today, and happy when problems are solved well. Then you also feel uncertain about tomorrow.”

“I just don’t feel anything and wish everything would disappear.”

That’s the problem.

Im Juweon nodded her head.

“Why am I like this? It’s not like I’m going through anything that difficult… Come to think of it, Father works all day but still gets happy thinking about doing something for me.”

Her eyes, which she said weren’t depressed or tearful, became moist.

Revealing guilt once again.

“In your current situation, don’t think too much about ‘why am I like this.’ It could be about studying, university, or it might not be.”

In psychological therapy, we would dig into that area, but that’s a domain requiring professional help.

Negative thoughts done alone tend to lead into a labyrinth the more you think about them.

“It probably started in the mind. But when you feel unpleasant emotions and chemical imbalances occur in brain neurotransmitters, it becomes difficult to control your mood from a certain point. That’s why it’s called a mood disorder.”

“Ah…”

First, I made it clear that it wasn’t Im Juweon’s fault.

The distorted cognition needed to be corrected.

At the same time, it was a point where pharmaceutical intervention was needed to correct the neurotransmitters.

“Then, can this get better? Do you treat it with traditional Korean medicine?”

I nodded my head.

Fortunately, Im Juweon was beginning to show willingness to receive treatment.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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