That’s Not What Kissing Means! - Chapter 82

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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That’s not what kissing means!

Episode 82

The Grand Cleric concealed his sinister gaze.

This time, he absolutely had to succeed.

He could never forget that day when he failed due to the previous Duke’s unexpected actions.

If he could absorb the military power of House of Ashford…

He would be able to spread his holy will.

* * *

From the moment he received the knot from the Grand Cleric, thoughts of his mother never left Theo’s mind.

A long time had passed since he lost his family in an instant.

Memories weren’t something to be forgotten. They still remained in one corner of his heart.

His mother had visited the Holy Kingdom until just before she passed away.

To pray for her son’s well-being.

But why…

‘Does God really exist?’

He couldn’t understand why he was asking himself such a question.

Seeing Theo lost in deep thought, Evelyn asked with concern.

“Are you alright?”

Though they had come to the library as usual, Theo seemed completely unable to concentrate on his books.

He turned his head to look at Evelyn.

The worry in her blue eyes was entirely directed toward him.

“Sorry, I made you anxious.”

“…”

“I’ve lived my life burying my parents’ deaths in my heart. Thanks to that, I threw myself into work and was able to protect the family safely.”

There were even those who criticized Theo for being too cold rather than grieving.

He let out a small sigh.

“I thought I was fine, but I don’t know why I’m like this today.”

“It’s because you’re not fine.”

“What?”

Theo’s eyes widened at the unexpected answer.

Evelyn closed the book spread open on the desk.

“Shall we go out for a walk?”

Then she grabbed Theo’s sleeve and pulled him out. He followed Evelyn as if entranced.

Around the library, everything was forest except for the bell tower.

The two walked in search of a secluded place. The sound of birds chirping could be heard through the fresh greenery.

Evelyn carefully opened her mouth.

“I can’t even begin to imagine Theo’s pain. But I could immediately tell that what you said earlier was wrong.”

“…”

“Theo, you’re not fine. The family portraits still hang in the manor. You’re still dwelling in the past.”

Evelyn’s calm voice continued.

“Theo, have you ever cried freely even once?”

Robert had once said that his master was a person of strong will who had never broken down.

In other words, he hadn’t confided his pain even to those close to him.

“Young Theo may have competently protected the family, but he failed to take care of himself. He didn’t even have time to reflect on memories and accept his grief.”

She stopped walking and looked at a large tree.

“When emotions are neglected, they tend to take deeper root. They’re just buried underground, out of sight.”

Theo’s thoughts came to a halt at these unexpected words.

He had never looked deeply into his own heart before.

For a long time, he had endured many things alone.

Because he thought it was natural, he never once considered that he should take care of himself.

Perhaps that’s why Evelyn’s words brought him confusion.

His mother’s knot had made him face the longing he had kept at a distance.

Evelyn looked up at him. Her clear face was filled with a smile.

“I’ll give you homework today.”

“Homework?”

“Face your tree, Theo. Look at the wounded bark and examine the broken branches.”

“…”

“I’m not telling you to forget painful memories. All of that accumulated to make you who you are now.”

Her gentle voice reached him.

“Let’s comfort young Theo… who couldn’t even cry freely.”

It’s not too late, is it?

She asked with a smile.

As the quiet comfort reached his ears, Theo’s eyes wavered greatly.

Along with great relief, his chest felt heavy like waterlogged cotton.

After Father passed away, he had to fight against those who constantly coveted the family.

He had to prove daily that the head of Ashford was strong.

But the emotions he had ignored all this time had become part of him, hardened in place.

However, with Evelyn’s single remark, the loneliness he had buried began to raise its head.

She told him that accepting grief wasn’t weakness, but simply facing oneself.

* * *

That night, Theo faithfully carried out the homework Evelyn had given him.

He looked into his neglected childhood self.

Recalling when he suddenly lost his family, he asked questions.

How were you back then?

And he realized.

The child had been terribly lonely and everything had been overwhelming.

There was no one to comfort him. Overwhelmed by his duties as head of the family, he didn’t even have the luxury of consoling himself.

He faced all the sobs that child had poured out.

Theo acknowledged the pain he couldn’t express at the time and comforted his own tree.

The stone in his chest that he hadn’t noticed became lighter just from examining it.

And he realized.

His young self had tried hard to forget the happy past.

Even if he seemed to be holding up well, he was still an immature child.

Fearing that anguish might burst forth, he had to suppress his longing time and again.

The wounds couldn’t heal properly; they were only covered with calluses.

If he had continued to ignore them, they might have festered and burst someday.

Theo smiled softly.

Evelyn had already seen through his young self, whom even he had been indifferent to.

After recalling everything from old memories to his parents’ final moments, dawn began to break.

However, there was still an unresolved question remaining.

Why had Father ended his own life?

It had been an unexpected tragedy.

In the end, the case was closed without ever finding out the reason.

Because both the cause of death and witnesses were clear.

That day was still vivid in his memory.

The fierce rain that soaked his entire body, his lips trembling from the cold…

And the terrible scene that had left young Theo unable to move.

His father’s final moments were still deeply embedded in his mind.

As were his last words.

Trust no one unless their sincerity reaches you completely…

Why had he left such words behind?

‘Was he betrayed?’

But the previous Duke wasn’t someone who would end his life because of betrayal.

The more he thought about it, the more tangled his thoughts became, so Theo left his room.

He chose to take a walk to clear his head.

As he stepped into the garden, dew-covered flowers greeted him.

Come to think of it, he hadn’t done any flower arranging since coming to the Holy Kingdom.

The previous Duke had decorated vases with flowers daily for his wife, and young Theo had followed his father’s example.

When he last saw his father, he had asked Theo to make his mother happy.

Since then, Theo had faithfully brought flowers every day, following that final wish.

Even though there was no one left to see them.

Looking at the flowers in full bloom, Theo recalled the past.

Young Theo had prepared an armful of flowers for his mother.

Looking for her son who hadn’t returned for quite some time, the Duchess came out to the garden and found Theo.

His small body was buried in the flower bed, covered with petals.

She looked at her son and smiled brightly.

‘I thought a flower garden was walking toward me. You’ve brought spring with you.’

The image of his delighted mother was vivid before his eyes.

But the memory before him quickly faded, and reality unfolded.

The tender scene had changed to the temple garden.

Feeling the cool dawn air, Theo continued walking through the temple garden.

Past the flower beds, past the trees thick with leaves.

A gentle breeze carried the scent of flowers.

It was the pink flower tree Evelyn had mentioned before.

The petals hanging precariously fell in a shower, settling on his hair and shoulders.

Faint sunlight filtered down through the dense leaves.

As if announcing that morning was approaching.

It had been good to comfort his younger self and face the emotions he had avoided.

But further sentimentality would be a luxury. It was time to return to being Duke Ashford.

Remember the past, but don’t become weak.

He reminded himself.

He had to erase the memory of his mother that had been so vivid just moments ago.

The emptiness he felt now, the bitter feelings… it was his responsibility to sort through them.

As Evelyn had said, perhaps he was still dwelling in the past.

Even though he knew he needed to move forward.

Theo began retracing his steps.

As he passed the large shade and rounded the flower tree, the vast flower bed was revealed again.

And there in the distance, Evelyn was walking toward him.

As if she had known he would be here, she smiled gently.

Why was it?

The moment he saw Evelyn wrapped in the bright sunlight, his mind became distant.

The shadow that had been oppressing him all along began to disappear.

Only then could he understand.

That Evelyn was his light and his future.

“Did you go swimming in the forest or something?”

Evelyn approached and laughed aloud as she looked at Theo.

His shoulders and hair were still covered with pink petals.

Soon she spoke.

“I thought a flower garden was walking toward me.”

“…”

Those words he thought he would never hear again seeped into his ears like a miracle.

At the dazzlingly brilliant sight—

Theo couldn’t say a word.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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