Surviving as Jang Hee-bin's Child Court Lady - Chapter 85

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 85. Whoever Dies, Whoever Lives
The King’s words struck me like a shockwave, overwhelming my entire being.
Only then did I truly understand.
That life and death were no different from one another.
That life and death were inseparable existences bound together.
Saving one person could inevitably lead to another’s death.
It wasn’t just Suk-ui.
Jang Hee-bin, the Palace Maids of Chwisuondang, the Crown Prince and Yi Hwon as well….
All those I wished to save faced this same cruel truth.
That question Han Sang-gung had posed to me in the early dawn.
“What do you think you are?”
I had finally found the answer.
A being standing upon the blade of history itself, holding a coin with two faces—life and death.
That was who I was.
That was the burden my small, insignificant, powerless self had to bear.
In that moment, darkness engulfed my vision.
It felt as though I were plummeting into an endless abyss.
Then, the King’s voice reached my ears.
“Sang-seon. Tell the ministers I will be slightly delayed.”
The King spoke to me as I stood there, dazed and hollow.
“Hwang Bong-bong had something to discuss with you. Let us step inside for a moment.”
The King turned and began walking.
With trembling steps, I followed him toward Hee-jeong Hall.
As spring faded and summer ripened, I had grown accustomed to the landscape of Hee-jeong Hall.
My heart, too, had grown familiar with the King’s presence.
A monarch sometimes merciless, sometimes burning like wildfire.
A steel-willed ruler who bent all to his will.
The emperor of the factional strife who had driven countless officials to their deaths….
Even knowing what manner of man King Sukjong truly was, I had grown increasingly accustomed to him.
I had come to appreciate his human side, and eventually to regard him with familiarity.
…Only now did I realize how foolish such thoughts had been.
My feet felt impossibly heavy as I walked, watching the scarlet dragon-embroidered robe before me.
The King’s steps continued onward.
We passed through the courtyard, then through the inner chamber where we had often met in private.
The King came to a halt only when we reached the depths of Hee-jeong Hall.
The attendants quietly opened the ornate doors.
A place I had never visited before.
I soon realized this was the King’s Private Chamber.
Had this been merely days ago, I would have felt great joy at the prospect of seeing the King’s Private Chamber.
But now, everything had changed entirely.
The moment the door to the inner chamber closed, a suffocating pressure crushed down upon me.
“Sit.”
King Sukjong commanded.
With a desk between us, I sat facing him across its polished surface.
King Sukjong rummaged through a drawer.
Presently, he withdrew something and placed it upon the desk.
The object wrapped in plain cloth was difficult to identify at first glance.
“Unwrap it.”
Bewildered by this cryptic command, I unfolded the cloth shrouding the object.
“….”
The first emotion that flooded through me was confusion.
‘…Bom-bomi.’
An all-too-familiar form lay before my eyes.
The curse doll I had called by the name ‘Bom-bomi’.
This eyesore had vanished last spring—a fact I had long since accepted.
I had suspected that Yong-hee, who had been Suk-bin’s spy, had stolen the doll, but it was merely conjecture without proof.
Bom-bomi’s whereabouts had remained an inexplicable mystery all this time.
‘How did this object come into the King’s possession?’
Lost in confusion, I recalled yesterday’s events.
The Naegumwi had conducted a thorough search of every chamber in the Royal Palace.
‘Was Bom-bomi discovered during that search?’
It was a plausible theory.
Yet what mattered most was where the curse doll had been found.
‘Who could have been keeping this?’
My first thought was naturally of Yong-hee.
After all, she had been spotted outside my chamber on the day Bom-bomi disappeared.
‘But…Yong-hee took nothing with her when she was expelled except a few changes of clothes.’
In that moment, King Sukjong’s question pierced the silence.
“Do you know anything about that doll?”
It was an ambiguous question.
Not ‘Is it yours?’ but rather ‘Do you know anything about it?’
‘The King is testing me.’
Though I felt certain of this, I had no luxury of hesitation in my response.
I made my decision swiftly.
‘At least now, I must not lie.’
While I could not claim to have always spoken only truth, I had consistently maintained the same account regarding ‘Bom-bomi’.
A doll I had happened to find near Seonjeongjeon Hall.
That was my unwavering answer about ‘Bom-bomi’.
“Yes, Your Majesty. I do.”
“What is it that you know?”
“This is… Bom-bomi. A doll I found near Seonjeongjeon Hall and played with.”
“But how did such a doll come into my possession? Do you have any notion of how?”
“I’m afraid I don’t know, Your Majesty.”
I shook my head.
“I’m curious myself. How did you come to have this doll, Your Majesty? It’s been quite some time since I lost Bom-bomi.”
“Lost it?”
The King did not answer my question about how he had obtained the doll.
“Yes. I kept it in my room, but it vanished without a trace around last spring.”
“So you lost the doll… I see.”
The King, who had been lost in thought, nodded slowly.
“Yes. You have always been honest with me, Hwang Bong-bong. I find no reason to doubt your words.”
The King picked up the doll again.
Thinking he meant to return it to me, I extended my hand, but I was mistaken.
He tossed the doll beneath the low table.
“It grows late.”
He said.
“My officials must be waiting. I should take my leave.”
The King rose to his feet.
Yet there remained words I needed to speak.
“Your Majesty. The Palace Maids of Sung-gyeong Hall…”
In that moment.
The King raised his index finger to his lips.
It was a gesture that said ‘hush’—discreet yet absolute.
“Do not indulge in needless sentiment. You merely spoke what you witnessed.”
“…”
“Now that I have heard of it, the matter falls to me.”
Do not protest.
Obey my will.
His voice carried such intent.
“Whether one dies or lives is not a concern for a child like you to bear. Do you understand?”
Though I struggled to find words.
“…I understand, Your Majesty.”
I answered in a voice barely above a whisper.
The King offered me no further opportunity to speak.
He departed the Private Chamber with firm, resolute steps.
Though I knew I should follow, I stood motionless for a moment.
A wall.
A mighty wall, rippling crimson, receded from my sight.
I could not scale that wall.
I could not breach it, nor find a way around it.
King Sukjong told me not to worry about it.
But I knew better.
The consequences of the Sung-gyeong Hall incident that began with me would soon come crashing down.
And the guilt born from those consequences would be mine alone to bear.
***
A day passed after the palace maids from Sung-gyeong Hall were dragged away to the Uigumbu, then another two days slipped by.
On the fourth day.
I was tending to Yi Hwon in Jinsudan.
“No, no! This can’t be!”
A short scream and sobbing echoed from outside.
“No! How… how could this happen…? Sob…!”
Startled by the sudden commotion, I cracked the door open slightly.
What came into view was Suk-ui Park, barefoot and stumbling out, tears streaming down her face.
“Yun Sang-gung…! Yun Sang-gung…!”
Suk-ui wailed as though her soul had fled her body.
“My lady, please compose yourself. Please, I beg you…”
“How could His Majesty issue such a cruel command? To execute Yun Sang-gung. To put the palace maids of Sung-gyeong Hall to death…!”
Suk-ui’s voice broke.
In that moment, time itself seemed to stop for me.
“Your Majesty… how could you be so merciless? Your Majesty…”
Suk-ui sank to the floor, her face buried in her hands.
…
I could only stare blankly at Suk-ui’s form.
Yun Sang-gung’s death.
And the deaths of the palace maids from Sung-gyeong Hall…
“Please, my lady, compose yourself. What if someone hears you…?”
“But…they were my family. My people. And now even the survivors are being cast out. Who am I to lean upon now? Who?”
Yun Sang-gung and the other palace maids were executed.
Even the survivors were all expelled and banished.
I couldn’t even draw a breath.
Before the catastrophe I had wrought, I was powerless to move a single finger.
“Bom-bomi.”
…
“Bom-bomi? Are you there?”
…Sob.
I crumbled entirely.
Yun Sang-gung, who had always been warm to me.
The affectionate and caring Nurse Attendant and nurse attendant.
The kind palace maids of Sung-gyeong Hall…
I had saved Suk-ui.
And because of my actions, countless Palace Maids of Sung-gyeong Hall who had committed no crime lost their lives.
I had to save someone going forward.
I too had to survive.
The meaning was unmistakable.
From this moment on, I would have to be prepared to accept someone’s death.
A crushing weight of guilt pressed down upon me.
It was my burden to carry forward—a weight I would bear for the rest of my life.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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