Spring in My Grasp - Chapter 60

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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(60) Don’t Leave Me

Alexis had been leaning against the doorframe for some time, but when the hope of hearing Rowan call for him again faded, he decided to take a walk down the corridor to clear his mind. As he wandered, he suddenly heard the voices of Lea and Eloze drifting through an open doorway.
“This is truly a serious matter.”
Lea said quietly.
“I’m terrified that Rowan might ask to leave because of this.”
Alexis, who had been about to pass by, froze in his tracks.
“After nearly losing the baby today… she might very well ask to leave with the money she’s prepared. I don’t know what to do. Everything is already in place.”
Alexis’s heart plummeted.
“Leave? Why would she? Weren’t things good between her and the master?”
Eloze asked. Lea sighed heavily.
“It was always a political marriage, and when she was at the Count’s Estate, she was cast away to the Annex. Of course, she was satisfied with life there, but she’s always been prepared to leave at any moment, never knowing when or how she might be forced out. After all, returning to the Hartwood Marquis Family would only mean a cold reception.”
“But how could a noblewoman survive outside with nothing?”
“You simply don’t know Rowan yet. She’s so unpretentious and resourceful. From the Annex onward, she grew all her vegetables and herbs herself, and she’s carefully saved every penny from selling anything of value. You can’t compare Rowan to ordinary noblewomen. I’m certain she could thrive anywhere. Perhaps even better than I could.”
“I suppose that’s true… I was so shocked when I first met Rowan.”
Eloze murmured thoughtfully. Someone like Rowan would undoubtedly survive brilliantly whether she worked as a clerk or opened her own shop. She was certainly not the typical noblewoman.
“She adores Leonius so much since his birth… Perhaps because she never received good treatment from her own family, Rowan is especially devoted to him. But after experiencing something like this, she could leave at any moment and take Leonius with her.
“But the master wouldn’t allow it.”
“Of course not. He truly loves Rowan.”
At that moment, they heard Leonius whimpering softly. As Lea soothed him, she continued.
“But Rowan is no ordinary woman either. If she set her mind to it, she could flee with Leonius to somewhere Alexis could never find them.”
“But they’re so close now, and they have a child. Surely she wouldn’t…”
“Why not? If she had truly abandoned all plans to escape, why would she still have me keep the money she’s been saving for that purpose? Whenever I ask her what to do with it, she simply tells me to keep holding it. If she intended to stay with Alexis, would there be any need to keep that money separate?”
“Now that you mention it, that does make sense.”
Alexis could hear no more. His breath caught in his throat, and he hurried away with quickening steps. He didn’t know where he was going. Moving aimlessly from place to place, he eventually found himself in the Glass Garden.
All the plants she had cherished and cultivated at Count Glister’s Annex had been transplanted here. There was also a flower bed that Lea loved and a new vegetable garden she had created. As Alexis entered the Glass Garden, his eyes began to tremble.
‘She could abandon all of this and leave…’
A woman capable of leaving behind everything she had so carefully tended and nurtured. Alexis collapsed into a chair, his eyes hollow and vacant. Now it wasn’t the Temple that was the problem. If any issue arose, if she ever felt she no longer needed to stay by his side, Rowan was always prepared to leave. The thing he had feared most—her disappearance—might be exactly what she wanted.
Especially after nearly losing Leonius today, it must have dealt Rowan a devastating blow. Alexis, who knew better than anyone how deeply she was attached to the child, believed she was lost in thought because of it. The question was: what was she thinking about?
He sat in the Glass Garden until darkness fell. His Aunt Ureia came to mind. His aunt, who had been trapped in the Annex, wailing and suffering from melancholy. Yet even in that place where she had languished, Rowan had shone brilliantly. Wherever she was, she gleamed and did what she could.
But what was he? No matter how much he was called a hero of the Kingdom and accomplished great deeds, without her he was merely a hollow shell. If Rowan had never existed, even if his holy power had truly awakened, he would never have worked so diligently as a Holy Knight. He was no different from his aunt. If Rowan were not by his side, then no matter how tremendous his holy power was, he would be nothing but useless. He would return to that empty life of before.
‘No, I can’t let that happen.’
Alexis’s face contorted in anguish. He couldn’t even breathe properly, his breathing ragged and desperate.
He couldn’t return to that life again. That hollow existence where nothing meant anything and nothing could fill the void. What meaning was there in living as an empty shell, abandoning one’s soul? He could never go back to days without Rowan.
“What are you doing here?”
As he sat in the darkness, buried in his own torment, he suddenly heard a voice calling to him. Alexis lifted his head. There, silhouetted in the doorway of the Glass Garden, stood Rowan.
“You’ve been gone for so long. I wondered where you’d gone.”
She stepped closer to Alexis.
“You should at least light a candle. It’s so dark here—aren’t you afraid sitting alone like this?”
Her tone was as casual as always. Alexis stared blankly at her shadowed silhouette.
“You haven’t even eaten dinner.”
Rowan fussed at him.
“Come on, let’s go eat together. I was lost in thought too, so I skipped dinner as well.”
Tap, tap—her hand gently struck his shoulder as he sat. Alexis, still dazed, reached out and caught her hand. Very carefully.
“Rowan.”
He called her name.
“Yes. I’m here.”
Rowan replied. The hand holding hers trembled faintly.
“Nothing like today will ever happen again.”
Please.
“Never worry.”
Please.
“I promise you.”
Alexis’s desperate eyes looked up at her. Rowan nodded.
“Of course.”
Rowan wrapped her hand around his in return.
“Besides, our son is so much stronger that the Temple means nothing to him anyway.”
Rowan spoke words that would make anyone who heard them gasp in horror, as if it were the most natural thing.
“So.”
Alexis’s voice wavered.
“I….”
He tried to speak, but his throat kept closing. Something welled up inside, making it impossible to form words.
“I….”
Unable to hold back any longer, Alexis’s head dropped. His large frame bent as he suppressed silent sobs. Yet he never released Rowan’s hand.
“Alexis, what’s wrong?”
Alarmed, Rowan pulled his face into her embrace. His face nestled against her belly. The silent trembling was so intense she could feel it through her own body.
“Alexis.”
Rowan gently stroked his silver hair.
“You were frightened too. Well, what happened today wasn’t ordinary.”
Rowan patted his back as she spoke.
“I was terrified as well. Our son being such an extraordinary person—I really need to raise him carefully so he doesn’t become too peculiar.”
“….”
“I don’t know much about holy power or such things, but can it really levitate like that? Does that mean you can also levitate in the air?”
“….”
“If that’s possible, would you hold me and let me float in the air? It sounds fun.”
Alexis pulled her waist close with a rough embrace and steadied his breathing. Then he lifted his head again as if nothing had happened.
“What, pretending you didn’t cry.”
I giggled softly.
“Well, look what you’ve done—my dress is soaked because of you.”
Embarrassed, Alexis roughly wiped his face with one hand.
“You’re such a crybaby.”
I carefully dried the corners of his eyes with the edge of my dress. At my tender touch, Alexis said nothing and simply surrendered his face to my care.
“I wonder what all those people who praise the Holy Knight would think if they knew he was such a crybaby. It’s a shame that only I get to see this side of you.”
“…Because it’s you.”
Alexis spoke in a voice heavy with emotion.
“Only with you.”
….
This time, I found myself at a loss for words. Even after living together for years and having a child, there were still moments like these when things felt strangely awkward between us.
“Come now, let’s go inside. After all that crying, you must be starving.”
“Rowan.”
Alexis called my name with a serious expression. Had I teased him too much? I twisted my lips and asked.
“What is it?”
“Don’t ever leave me.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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