Since It's My First Time Being a Lady, I'll Cause Some Trouble - Chapter 34

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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A Lady Does Mischief for the First Time 034
But contrary to expectations, despite Bessy’s efforts, Misty refused to believe the stories about Ulfina.
After all, what noblewoman in the world draws blood at a gambling den, steals her family’s land deeds, and turns the slave trader who kidnapped her into merchandise herself?
Tales of losing fortunes, being swindled, or nearly ruining one’s house are far too common among the nobility—they tend to forget such things entirely.
Her face made it obvious what she was thinking: ‘The slave trader business sounds a bit exaggerated.’
But spreading such rumors in whispers is one thing; saying them outright to the person involved is quite another.
Especially when it comes from that person’s own personal maid.
“…You’re joking, aren’t you?”
Misty seemed to think this was some kind of hazing ritual. The lady must have colluded with her maid to make fun of me, she was certain.
“Listen, Bessy.”
“Yes?”
“Did you mention that I also rendered a naval officer impotent?”
“Oh my!”
“Try to keep your wits about you.”
Misty stared at us in confusion. Her mind was probably drowning in the question: ‘What on earth is this conversation?’
“You mean to say the young lady personally rendered a military officer impotent?”
“Well, of course I didn’t do it with my own hands.”
“Then it was an accident after all.”
“My parents didn’t know, but I submitted an application to the navy without their permission. He found out and tattled on me to my father. I got so furious that I sent an anonymous letter to the officer’s wife saying I knew her husband was keeping two households.”
The person who blocked Ulfina’s naval enlistment was Lieutenant Norton, an alumnus of the Earl’s school.
Norton was a rather authoritarian and patriarchal man who couldn’t abide the idea of a woman becoming a soldier.
It just happened that Norton learned of Ulfina’s application to the navy.
When Lieutenant Norton visited the Earl’s residence, he gave the Earl and Countess quite a speech, saying that “a lady ought never to hold anything but a needle and should always conduct herself with propriety.”
Setting aside Norton’s nonsense, when the Earl and Countess learned that their only child had secretly tried to enlist in the military without consulting them, they were beside themselves and pecked at Ulfina mercilessly.
I got scolded along with her for failing to notice while my mistress was sneaking about.
I was absolutely speechless! How was I supposed to detect her writing applications and posting letters in secret while everyone slept?
In any case, the enraged Ulfina refused to let Lieutenant Norton off lightly for ruining her plans.
She fumed that he couldn’t even keep his own affairs in order, and yet he dared interfere in others’ lives. She gritted her teeth and finally did something reckless.
“…But why impotent specifically?”
“I just gave a little hint, and the lady used it quite effectively.”
Norton had no shame in hiding his infidelity.
His wife wanted a divorce, but her father, unwilling to lose a son-in-law from a distinguished military family, pressured her to endure it and bear children instead.
As a result, she faced both sympathy and mockery in society.
Ulfina exploited this fact.
She sent an anonymous recipe to Lady Norton.
[If you wish for vengeance and freedom, serve this dish to your husband.]
It was an extravagant meat dish seasoned generously with expensive foreign spices—far too luxurious for such an unworthy husband.
That Lady Norton followed through with such a suspicious letter suggests she simply could not endure her wretched marriage any longer.
Not long after Ulfina sent the letter, rumors spread throughout Araf that Lieutenant Norton could no longer perform as a man.
Norton desperately denied the falsehood, but his wife’s divorce suit—filed on the grounds that she could not bear children due to “her husband’s condition”—only drove the rumors deeper.
Even her own father, who had insisted she endure his infidelities, abandoned the son-in-law and slipped money to the judge to render a swift decision.
Unable to bear the public gaze, Norton fled to the remotest region far from the Imperial Capital even before the divorce was finalized.
After the Nortons’ divorce was formally concluded, the Earl began to suspect Ulfina.
The timing between the sordid rumors and the couple’s separation was simply too convenient.
When he pressed her, Ulfina answered boldly that she had poured oil on a house already burning.
‘Go ahead and report me! Do it! Imagine the scandal if it came out that the Earl Nezet’s daughter sent a recipe to render a man impotent to his ex-wife!’
The Earl and Countess were too aghast to say a word.
If that happened, Lady Norton would face assault charges, and Ulfina would be arrested for inciting assault.
The Earl collapsed on the sofa sobbing, and the Countess scolded her daughter harshly. Ulfina, of course, was unshaken.
For the record, I was the one who suggested the recipe.
There wasn’t a drop of poison in it. It was simply a matter of spices with catastrophic compatibility meeting in a fatal accident.
Every servant who had been present and thus learned the full truth of the incident had to undergo special discretion training.
The abilities of Dasther and Nikolai were remarkable. No servant remained ignorant of Ulfina’s transgression, yet not a whisper of it ever escaped the household.
Until today, that is.
I’ve done wrong by those two and the Earl and Countess, but things have come to this.
Still, Ulfina’s exploits will never be revealed to the world. The Seibow Guild employs only those with sealed lips.
Misty, who had been quietly listening to Bessy’s and my exchange, composed herself as if she had never been flustered at all.
“…So that’s the concept, then.”
“It’s not a concept.”
“Yes, I understand.”
Misty’s mind seemed to be refusing to accept Ulfina’s eccentric behavior, and truthfully, I hadn’t expected her to simply go along with it either.
‘She’ll understand once she actually sees it happen, I suppose.’
* * *
Misty of the Seibow Guild, a bodyguarding and security specialist organization, was a veteran operative.
Those she had protected ranged from wealthy commoners to complicated royalty, and the locations she had guarded spanned from the hideouts of clandestine organizations to ancient palaces.
Extensive experience meant having faced and overcome countless unpredictable situations. She took pride in her ability to handle any emergency that arose.
Experience was the greatest asset, after all.
This time, her Protected Target was Ulfina Nezet—an ordinary noble lady one could find anywhere.
A woman who had recently witnessed an unsavory murder and was warned she might face retaliation from the criminal.
Yet now that very Protected Target had become entangled in a hostage crisis.
“Ahhh! Ulfina!”
“Young lady! What should we do…!”
The Nezet couple and their servants were paralyzed by panic, and the Military Police Sergeant who had rushed to the scene upon receiving the report attempted negotiation.
“Please, calm yourself. Put down your weapon and release the hostage, and I swear no charges will be pressed.”
“What? Charges? No charges? Don’t you understand the situation? Are my demands really so difficult? Huh?”
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Three shots fired into the air.
The hostage, terrified by the warning shots, was on the verge of losing consciousness.
“Damn it…”
The Military Police Sergeant bit his lip in frustration.
The Hostage Taker had a gun.
That alone was a problem, but the greater issue was the bombs strapped to his body.
One wrong move and everything—hostage and surroundings alike—would be blown to pieces.
Like a veteran of a renowned bodyguarding guild, Misty had faced situations like this several times before.
Stopping a hostage crisis was simple: eliminate the Hostage Taker.
Whether the subject held a gun or wore explosives, the approach was the same—distract the Hostage Taker and launch a surprise attack.
But…
‘This is… this is… how am I supposed to handle this?’
Misty swallowed hard.
For the first time since taking on this job, she—who had always remained composed in every situation—felt genuine panic and confusion.
‘If only I had kept my wits about me…!’
No, wait—shouldn’t it be the other side that needs to keep their wits, not me?
‘I’m going to lose my mind.’
Misty stared hard at the Hostage Taker.
‘What am I supposed to do when the Protected Target is the one staging the hostage crisis!’

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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