Siena Dating Agency - Chapter 110

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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110.

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Siena’s heart raced like a metronome set to its highest speed.

‘What should I say.’

What should I answer… that wouldn’t hurt Johan.

As she thought this, she suddenly realized.

No, she had actually already known.

In this situation, there was no way to avoid causing hurt.

‘No matter what I say, Johan will be hurt.’

Because it would be a rejection either way.

‘Because I have to tell him I don’t have feelings for him, that I don’t share the same emotions.’

And because I came on this date while having such feelings.

To minimize the hurt, I should have refused when he asked me on the date.

‘…I’ve already messed up.’

This was the accurate answer.

“…”

There was no way to avoid hurting Johan anyway.

Then being honest was the best courtesy Siena could show.

“Actually…”

Siena hung her head while looking down at the table.

“…I’m sorry, Lord Marquis.”

A voice barely leaked through her dry lips.

Johan just looked at her without answering.

His blue eyes trembled faintly, but Siena, who couldn’t meet his gaze, didn’t notice.

“To me, you are just… the Lord Marquis.”

“…”

“I’m sorry for not properly refusing from the beginning and dragging it out ambiguously. And for hurting you because of that.”

Her heart pounded wildly on its own, making her breathing labored.

‘Ah… this stings.’

A crushing pain washed over her heart.

Siena, who had been lightly biting her lips, continued with difficulty.

“To be completely honest…”

“…”

“I think I was a little afraid too.”

She clenched her hands that hung below the table.

She could feel her small nails digging into her skin.

“…I didn’t want to be disliked by you, Lord Marquis.”

Siena herself knew how selfish these words were.

The greed of wanting to remain a good person to him while not even liking him.

‘I’m sorry, Johan.’

For hurting you because of my greed.

Siena took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

Her interrupted monologue continued.

“Even though I don’t share the same feelings as you, I truly like you, Lord Marquis. Of course… as a person.”

“…”

“So… I didn’t want to ruin my image. I wanted to look good to you.”

“…”

“Just as I think of you as a good person, I hoped you would see me the same way.”

Her voice trembled thinly.

She was aware of it herself but couldn’t stop.

Because if she closed her mouth again here, she would be repeating the same mistake.

“I want you to be happy, Lord Marquis, and I hope everything you desire goes well. I want you to always smile.”

“…”

“Your smile is more beautiful than anyone else’s.”

Without realizing it, her head hung even lower.

Her vision seemed to blur, but she didn’t cry.

No, she felt like crying but was desperately holding it back.

‘I can’t cry. Get it together.’

If I show tears here, that would be another form of selfishness.

‘It’s cowardly for the person causing hurt to cry.’

I don’t have the right to cry.

Biting the inside of her lips, she barely managed to get out the last sentence.

“I should have clearly conveyed such feelings…”

Siena took a short breath.

And exhaled.

“I’m sorry for acting foolishly.”

When all her words ended, exhaustion overwhelmed her entire body.

Her shoulders drooped as if a tightly pulled string had snapped.

On the table remained only the coffee growing cold, the half-remaining cake, and a heavy, settled silence.

“…”

“…”

She had said everything she needed to say.

But she couldn’t guess what kind of reaction would follow.

‘Will Johan get up from his seat.’

Or will he say he’s disappointed.

Or will he smile with a hurt expression.

Whatever reaction it was, she had to handle it.

But… honestly, she wasn’t confident.

Time gradually passed.

To Siena, one second felt like ten seconds.

How long had she endured like this.

It was Johan who broke the long silence.

“…I see.”

His voice was low and dry.

He looked down at the raspberry tart placed in front of him with his eyes cast downward.

His long, white fingers meaninglessly fidgeted with the teacup handle.

Siena gripped the hem of her dress.

‘Right, of course he’s angry.’

It was a natural reaction.

Rather, getting angry or being criticized might make her feel more at ease.

But Johan said something completely unexpected.

“I knew.”

At those words, Siena’s brow furrowed.

‘…What?’

She quickly raised her head.

But what was even more unexpected… was that Johan was smiling.

It wasn’t a lonely or miserable smile, but just his usual proper smile.

No, looking closely, it was a little different from usual.

The corners of his eyes were slightly drooped.

As if trying to hide it, his lips were neatly curved upward.

“…You knew?”

“That your heart lies elsewhere.”

“….”

“From the beginning… I didn’t think the chances were very high.”

Johan set down his teacup and turned his gaze toward the window.

His hair, catching the light, seemed to shimmer translucently.

“It was the same when I liked Violet Bringer. I didn’t fully believe there was a possibility then either.”

He turned his gaze back to Siena.

“The expressions of the Center employees always seemed complicated.”

“….”

“Though you were helping with my request, there was always this feeling of ‘what happens after this?'”

Johan briefly lowered his eyes as if catching his breath.

His long, white eyelashes cast shadows in the light.

“Yet the employees never gave up. Even knowing my request was difficult, you tried to find a way until the very end.”

“….”

“Especially you, Lady.”

At those words, Siena’s fist clenched tighter under the table.

“You took on my request, wrote scripts, created situations… Every time I made a mistake, you helped me find direction again.”

“….”

“Watching that, I thought to myself.”

“….”

“How wonderful and precious ‘effort’ truly is.”

His voice was firm and calm.

Yet there existed a subtle crack.

Through that gap, something long suppressed seemed to seep out with a tremor.

“The Center employees gave their best even to requests with no visible possibility. For my sake.”

“….”

“So I wanted to try it too. Like you, Lady, like the employees… to make an effort, to find courage.”

Johan looked directly at Siena.

He still wore that gentle smile.

“Of course, it’s not that it doesn’t hurt. To gather courage and confess, only to receive rejection… it stings.”

“….”

“Still, I’m grateful to hear your honest answer.”

“….”

“It must have been difficult, but thank you for finding the courage as well.”

At those words, her breath caught.

‘…Johan.’

Her mouth felt dry as if she’d swallowed sand.

At the same time, a pain like having her heart scooped out with a spoon pierced her chest.

Whether Johan knew this or not, he added one more sentence.

“You are an upright person. This must be why I fell for you.”

…This is insane.

‘He’s really lost it.’

How can someone be like this.

After being rejected.

After being turned down right to his face.

‘Saying thank you when he’s hurting.’

What exactly is there to be grateful for?

‘What’s upright about someone like me.’

I pretended to be fluttered when I didn’t even like him, and dragged things out because I lacked the courage to reject him.

‘Someone cowardly who only spoke up when the other person noticed—how is that upright?’

Siena bit her lip hard.

Her eyes grew hot.

She was holding back, but… there was no way she could endure after hearing such words.

As her vision blurred, the red of the strawberry cake smeared like watercolor.

Suddenly, Johan’s voice reached her.

“Then I’ll just be Johan Beloster.”

It was an unexpected statement.

Siena’s eyes widened.

“…What?”

Johan added matter-of-factly.

“I’ll stay by your side only to the extent that Lady Willow won’t feel burdened.”

For a moment, she was speechless.

‘…Stay by my side?’

What does that mean….

Various interpretations collided in her head.

Was he giving up, or saying he’d wait.

Or was it somewhere in between.

Johan continued without waiting for Siena’s reaction.

“In doing so… I think the ending might change.”

His voice remained quiet.

But what was contained within that quietness was not resignation.

He had delivered a declaration that he wouldn’t give up, in the most gentle form possible.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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