Pretending to Be Human Is Exhausting Again Today - Chapter 38

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Struggling to Pretend to Be Human Today Episode 038

 

The Emperor frowned, seemingly displeased with my relaxed attitude.

 

“It seems you have no intention of telling me what triggered this change.”

 

“I still don’t understand what you’re talking about. Perhaps it just appears that I’ve matured with age?”

 

“You were already a mature brat in the old days.”

 

“I may have grown even more. Do you remember how many years ago it was when Your Majesty and I met as father and daughter?”

 

“Hah.”

 

The Emperor clicked his tongue as if finding it absurd.

 

“Do you think I would have missed even a second of your behavior?”

 

‘Of course you were monitoring everything. You have control obsessions after all.’

 

I said it knowing full well. Someone like him would definitely have planted spies in the Separate Palace.

 

Of course, even so, he wouldn’t know the fact that I had been reincarnated.

 

“You’re not going to say you changed just from experiencing a near-death crisis, are you? From mere poison…”

 

“Mere?”

 

But I couldn’t let this comment slide. I narrowed my eyes and looked at the Emperor’s arrogant face.

 

“Your Majesty, death changes everything. Life and death are not simple turning points.”

 

“Do you think I don’t know that? The fine excuses of those who say they’re prepared to die, that they’ll stake their lives…”

 

“No, Your Majesty doesn’t understand.”

 

I took another step closer to him. Then I looked him straight in the eyes so he would listen to my words until the end.

 

“Those who have truly seen the end of life do not carelessly discuss death. They don’t stake their lives either. Knowing that what lies at that end is utterly futile, they merely cling to life desperately to avoid reaching that place.”

 

I was reflected in the Emperor’s blue eyes. As if making a vow to myself, I spoke to my reflection in those blue eyes.

 

“That’s why the experience of death, the death before one’s eyes, inevitably changes everything. This is the same for a beggar on the street as it is for a sage. The fearful certainty that one will not see tomorrow’s sun is something those who haven’t experienced it cannot understand.”

 

Death was common on the battlefield. The battlefield was a place where enemies who had just shared rations with me, colleagues who had asked me about breakfast that morning, could instantly turn into corpses.

 

Common yet heavy, heavy yet unforgettable—that was the future called death.

 

Asmodina, and Deina, were both parties who had experienced it twice.

 

That’s why they didn’t discuss death carelessly.

 

“…Are you daring to lecture me about ignorance?”

 

“We are all ignorant. Even if we know about death, humans remain ignorant about life until the very end.”

 

Even the sages of the Demon Clan who live for hundreds or thousands of years don’t claim omniscience, so how dare a human who can’t even live a hundred years run their mouth.

 

I raised the corner of my mouth slightly and said:

 

“If Your Majesty feels that I have changed, it might really be because of death. I’ve learned that I won’t die from small, trivial threats and accidents.”

 

“Do you consider them insignificant beings?”

 

“Of course not. Rather, I, who can’t even fulfill my duties as royalty, would be more insignificant. I’m just saying that mere sibling quarrels aren’t grand enough to warrant discussing death.”

 

The conflict between Franz and me was like a kind of staged play. Predetermined opposition, predetermined arguments—nothing that significant.

 

The reason the Emperor was suspicious was probably because I had achieved an unexpected victory over Franz.

 

‘Though I’m not the least bit happy about beating that fool.’

 

I stepped back from him.

 

“I got carried away because I used to fear death so much. Please forgive me.”

 

“Hmph, you speak so well. Knowing full well that I will let this conversation pass without question.”

 

‘Right, there’s no way you’d leak stories that tarnish the honor of the Imperial Family.’

 

When I smiled brightly, the Emperor waved his hand as if disgusted.

 

“You were like this before too. You had a cunning side while pretending otherwise.”

 

‘If you’re reminiscing about memories, why didn’t you treat me well back then?’

 

The complaint almost slipped out, but I barely held it back.

 

“I wanted to hear a more substantial answer, but it can’t be helped. I’ll ask about this matter again later.”

 

“…Aren’t you curious about how I survived the brink of death, how I became healthy?”

 

“Don’t be stupid. Don’t you know it’s useless to interrogate about facts that even spies couldn’t uncover? You’d just come up with some pathetic excuse anyway.”

 

He snorted, saying he had no intention of engaging in tedious philosophical discussions.

 

‘It seems he has no plans to pursue or investigate further yet.’

 

Though I still found it suspicious that he gave up so readily, it was fortunate for me. At least it was one less thing to worry about.

 

“Anyway, I’ll praise you for finishing the Arena event well. You wrapped it up nicely despite the Empress’s interference.”

 

“You knew about that? Then about Loreil’s matter too…”

 

“I said I dislike pointless questions. Do you think there’s something I don’t know?”

 

‘I suppose so.’

 

I was so disgusted that I decided not to ask unnecessary questions.

 

“As a reward, I’ll give you the return to high society that you wanted, along with freedom to enter and leave the Imperial Palace. From now on, wherever you go, whatever you do, do as you please.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

He said it lightly, making it seem like no big deal, but it held great meaning for me. From now on, wherever I went, I would be treated as ‘royalty.’

 

‘Finally, I’ve taken a step forward.’

 

I was feeling rewarded, clenching my fist inwardly, when the Emperor continued speaking.

 

“Since that’s settled, you’ll need to do one more thing. The next social season won’t open until spring anyway, so you’ll have time.”

 

“What kind of task?”

 

“Across the sea, a princess from Jins Kingdom is scheduled to seek asylum in the Empire. Go meet her and handle introducing her to the Empire.”

 

“Asylum?”

 

I widened my eyes at the unexpected story.

 

‘Jins Kingdom is a country that trades frequently with the Empire. Someone from that country is seeking asylum?’

 

Seeing my confusion at not understanding the situation, the Emperor continued his explanation.

 

“A rebellion broke out in Jins Kingdom. The king was dethroned, and his children either died or sought asylum. Our Empire decided to welcome the princess.”

 

“I didn’t know you would show such merciful consideration.”

 

“As if. It’s all been negotiated.”

 

Meaning he had already gained enough benefit to accept the asylum.

 

But being involved with asylum seekers would inevitably lead to gossip, so I expressed my reluctance.

 

“This doesn’t seem like something I should handle. Moreover, asylum due to rebellion—for the immigrants from Jins Kingdom in the Empire…”

 

The Emperor stopped me as I tried to delay as much as possible, using health as an excuse if necessary.

 

“Of course, I’ll provide compensation. This isn’t something to be done in exchange for returning to high society.”

 

It was an obvious statement. This exceeded the scope of politics expected of a princess.

 

But the compensation offered was beyond my imagination.

 

“I’ll give you a manor.”

 

“…Pardon?”

 

“There’s one direct territory left. I’m saying I’ll entrust you with managing that manor. Just like your brothers did.”

 

A manor—in other words, he meant to give me land to govern.

 

I couldn’t close my mouth at such an enormous compensation.

 

It wasn’t uncommon for royalty to manage the Emperor’s direct territories. Franz and his younger brothers all had regions they were responsible for.

 

But this only applied to princes—never once had a princess been entrusted with management.

 

‘Suddenly giving me such a direct territory? No, that can’t be right. This is probably…’

 

I immediately caught on to the Emperor’s true intention.

 

“Jeina received this too, didn’t she?”

 

That Emperor wouldn’t give me special treatment alone. I spoke with that conviction.

 

“How clever. Yes, that’s right. Jeina already received a better manor than yours.”

 

The Emperor smiled, raising the corner of his mouth. At his sly tone, I inwardly gritted my teeth.

 

“At the end of this year, an opportunity arose to eliminate all the corrupt officials. Thanks to that, several direct territories became available. We were already short-handed, so it looked like there would be a position for you.”

 

“If you were going to give it anyway, it doesn’t seem appropriate as compensation.”

 

“Which would you prefer—near the Neutral Zone far from the Capital, or near the Capital?”

 

Like a merchant haggling over goods, he told me to choose between a thorny path and a paved road.

 

I sighed and nodded.

 

“I accept His Majesty the Emperor’s command.”

 

Still, a direct territory was better than nothing. At least it meant having somewhere to set foot outside the Imperial Palace.

 

The Emperor seemed pleased with my answer and raised the corner of his mouth. But I was smiling too.

 

‘Having land will make it easier to move without worrying about the Temple’s watchful eyes.’

 

He probably had no idea that real demons would appear in his direct territory.

 

The Emperor and I laughed, celebrating our different successes.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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