Pretending to Be Human Is Exhausting Again Today - Chapter 2

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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Pretending to Be Human: Episode 002

I, Deina Ripeon, was the Princess of the Empire.

As a Princess, I held the second rank among the Emperor’s children—fourth in total. Being female, I was far removed from the line of succession, blessed with a fate that would allow me to live my entire life sheltered like a delicate flower in a greenhouse.

That is, if I had not been born with cursed eyes.

‘It’s a curse, a curse has been laid upon me!’

From birth, I possessed deep navy hair and golden eyes—features that stood in stark contrast to the platinum blonde and pale blue eyes that marked the Imperial Family. Because of this, the Priests and members of the Imperial Family branded me a cursed birth, pointing fingers in accusation.

Had my appearance been the only peculiarity, the persecution would have ended quickly. But the childhood that followed was a relentless string of misfortunes, as though I had been cursed by the Deity itself.

‘Have you heard? The Princess’s Wet Nurse hanged herself!’

‘During her debutante ball, a chandelier fell and—’

‘The Playmate was found in the Lake in the Garden! In a place so deep a child could never reach!’

‘With misfortunes striking one after another like this, she must surely be a demon reincarnate!’

Inexplicable calamity perpetually circled around me.

At first, I made excuses that it was not my fault, but I abandoned that pretense by the time I turned ten. The Attendants who had listened to my words died one by one, or fled from my side, unable to overcome their fear.

When the Playmate I had confided in finally died, I could no longer even bring myself to weep.

As if the curse itself ravaged my health, I grew more haggard with each passing day.

Before I could even reach adulthood, the curse had stripped away my freedom to walk.

By the time rumors of me had spread throughout the Empire, my father—the Emperor—abandoned me.

‘How repugnant. Never let me see your face again.’

He sent me to a Separate Palace, far removed from the Main Palace, under the guise of recuperation. In truth, it was nothing short of confinement.

The Emperor who abandoned me, the Empress who treated me as though I did not exist, and Siblings who turned away.

As a child, I was left alone in the Separate Palace, abandoned by everything that came before.

‘What a wretched existence.’

Whenever I was forced to attend Imperial functions in my wheelchair, I was treated like a weed clinging to a wall—overlooked and subjected to contemptuous remarks.

After such treatment became routine, even the Servants of the Separate Palace began to disregard me.

Perhaps death would come sooner rather than later. By the time I reached adulthood, even the will to live any longer had withered away.

‘It seems everyone wishes for my swift demise.’

At some point, I noticed poison in my meals. After ten years of observation, I knew exactly who the culprit was. The betrayal stung, but only briefly.

I silently accepted the sweetened poison, seasoned with every possible ingredient.

‘If I refuse to eat, I’ll starve anyway. There’s no escape.’

As time passed, there came a day when I could barely leave my bed, let alone venture outside.

‘This is truly the end.’

The poison in my meal felt more potent than before.

Those who desired my death had finally decided upon my cause of death.

“…I shall eat well.”

I swallowed my rage and resentment along with the meal.

Afterward, I dressed in my finest nightclothes, applied fragrant oil to my hair for the first time in ages, and lay upon my bed. I prayed devoutly before sleep, hoping that whoever came to remove my corpse would not be cursed.

I closed my eyes and cast my fading consciousness into the distant abyss beyond death’s threshold.

Just as I believed this wretched, hopeless life was finally coming to an end.

[Really?]

A whisper reached me.

[Do you truly have no regrets?]

The dying me—no, the dead me—could not possibly answer. Yet some voice began to speak on my behalf, as if of its own accord.

[I hate this. Humans who deserve happiness dying in misery? It’s abhorrent. And to surrender so helplessly like this—it’s not like you at all.]

That voice laughed, a strange and peculiar sound.

[This cannot be how it ends, Deina. You don’t want this ending. I don’t want it. We don’t want it. Deep down, you wish to live longer, don’t you? You wish to find happiness?]

Who in this world would ever wish to die?

It was a question that needed no answer.

[I want to live longer. I don’t want to abandon humanity. I love being human.]

The conversation made no sense. The voice seemed to hear the cries of my soul and respond, yet it changed the subject on a whim.

Its manner of speech was strange too—like some being from another world who had only just learned to speak as humans do.

[So let’s seize one more chance. It’s alright. I’m here with you.]

Was it offering to help me? Or was it trying to steal my body?

I recoiled at that thought, but the voice answered of its own volition once more.

[No, you misunderstood. You and I are one, so this isn’t about helping. It’s something else entirely.]

Then what is it?

[It’s remembering. Recalling the memories of when you were me. The memories of when human Deina was Demon Asmodina. When I was a Demon who loved humanity.]

In that moment, my eyes opened.

* * *

“…!”

The first sensation upon opening my eyes was a gritty dryness, as though sand had been scattered across them.

I blinked desperately, trying to force back tears, when I belatedly noticed a change occurring in my sluggish body.

‘Good heavens, it doesn’t hurt.’

My belly, which had always stung as if I’d swallowed thorns; my lungs and throat, which had labored with each breath as though suffocating; my limbs, which had felt heavy as if weighted down—all of it suddenly felt light.

It had been so long since I’d felt the absence of pain that the present moment felt almost strange.

My joy was short-lived. Dizzy from the flood of decades and centuries of memories swirling through my mind, I squeezed my eyes shut once more.

‘Asmodina.’

The name of the voice that had spoken to me at death’s threshold—no, my name from the past.

Only then did I realize that all these memories belonged to my previous life.

Daughter of the Demon King, vanguard commander of the Demon Realm who had seized victory in dozens of wars, and a heretic of the Demon Clan who had loved humans.

‘Good Lord, I was truly the reincarnation of a demon.’

The delusion of being “the reincarnation of a demon”—which I had desperately denied as mere rumor—had become reality.

I couldn’t collect myself as the memories of my past life suddenly poured down upon me.

My sense of self hadn’t wavered. Both personalities were remarkably similar, after all.

The problem was the sheer volume of memories.

It felt as though I’d been forced to memorize dozens or hundreds of books.

Particularly troublesome was her peculiar taste.

‘My past self certainly had a fondness for humans.’

Perhaps because I was a heretic born in the Demon Realm, where individualism held no sway, I had adored human tales.

Human heroes, romance that transcended station, artists who overcame adversity—I’d even heard myself speak of marrying a human.

It was a past wholly incompatible with Deina’s life, having been betrayed by humans.

Yet since both identities were mine, Asmodina’s affection for humans and Deina’s repugnant memories intertwined, leaving me nauseated.

It was a tangled emotion—liking yet wanting to despise.

I was attempting to suppress those past feelings and calm my turbulent heart when—

“…and!”

“Ahhh!”

A grating commotion assaulted my ears.

‘Who is in my bedroom?’

I wanted to focus on organizing my memories, but the noise was far too loud to ignore.

Disregarded Princess or not, what business did anyone have making such a racket in someone else’s bedroom?

Unable to contain my irritation any longer, I spoke.

“Be quiet.”

The words that left my lips for the first time in ages flowed out more easily and gently than I had anticipated.

I was quite pleased that speaking no longer caused my chest to ache, though I concealed my relief and rose from the bed.

I needed to see with my own eyes what was causing such an infernal disturbance.

“What is all this commotion doing in someone else’s bedroom?”

And I was taken aback by the sight before me.

Two familiar figures were locked in a struggle.

One was Hans, the Chamberlain I occasionally glimpsed beyond my window, and the other was Liribel, the Maid who cleaned my room.

‘A lovers’ quarrel… surely not.’

Seeing Liribel thrashing about with her collar seized and Hans radiating murderous intent, this was clearly no trivial matter.

“That’s impossible, absolutely impossible! I know I killed you!”

Hans muttered incomprehensibly, and my muddled mind couldn’t make sense of his words. I waved my hand dismissively.

“I don’t know what’s happening, but… shouldn’t we at least release that child first?”

“So you were in on this all along!”

Instead, my words only seemed to inflame Hans further. He swung his dagger toward Liribel.

Startled by his action, I reflexively thrust my right hand forward.

Though the movement was unconscious, the Demon Clan’s power coursing through my body faithfully accomplished what I desired.

[Shadow.]

It felt as though my voice from the past echoed from behind me.

In that same instant, the shadow on the bedroom floor transformed into an awl and pierced through Hans’s arm.

“Aaahhh!”

Hans writhed across the ground.

I stared at him blankly, when the freed Liribel looked at me with a bewildered expression and spoke.

“B-black magic?”

‘Oh no.’

I should have used magic that wouldn’t draw attention!

I hurried to make an excuse, but Liribel spoke faster.

“Wow, that was so cool!”

It was pure admiration, like a young boy catching a rhinoceros beetle for the first time.

Flustered by this unexpected reaction, I blinked blankly.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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