My Unrequited Love Is an Absolute Secret - Chapter 65

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 65

As I drove toward home, my heart remained heavy.
I was certainly relieved to have finally resolved Aemerus’s stalker problem, which had plagued us for so long.
Yet I still had the matter with Jessie to contend with.
I needed to tell Jessie that I had no intention of distancing myself from Aemerus.
My resolve was already firm.
Would Jessie be deeply disappointed in me?
That was what worried me most—how he would react.
But there was nothing I could do about it.
Aemerus wasn’t a criminal, after all.
For Jessie to dictate my relationships, no matter who he was, would be an overreach.
I had no intention of being swayed back and forth simply because I harbored unrequited feelings for him.
When should I tell Jessie?
Since this was a sensitive matter, it seemed best to speak to him face-to-face.
A text or phone call, where tone and expression couldn’t be properly conveyed, might easily lead to misunderstanding.
Lost in such thoughts as I drove, a Hair Salon suddenly caught my eye.
As if enchanted, I pulled over and stepped inside.
“Lili? It’s been ages!”
The hairdresser, who had been greeting customers, recognized me and lit up with delight.
I had been coming to this Hair Salon since childhood, holding my mother’s hand.
The hairdresser was a second-generation Korean-American, so she understood Korean hair texture well.
“How have you been?”
“Oh, I’m always the same. Coming from School? Just a trim today like always, right?”
I had always maintained my hair at waist length, only trimming it regularly.
It all started when Jessie once complimented my long natural hair, saying it suited me well.
Wanting to look beautiful in the eyes of the Jessie I secretly loved, I had stubbornly kept my hair long even through sweltering summers.
Looking back, it was a foolish decision.
“No, this time I’d like to cut it short.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Good thinking! Lili, I’ve told you countless times that you have a small face and would look great with a bob cut.”
The hairdresser guided me to a chair, even more excited than I was.
Since only one customer was getting a perm, I didn’t have to wait and could get my cut right away.
“Since this is your first bob, let me cut it to shoulder length first? If it gets too short, it might look strange.”
“Actually, there’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a while now.”
“What’s that?”
“Hair donation.”
There were several nonprofit organizations that accepted hair donations for cancer patients.
I first learned about this during middle school.
It was through a boy at my school who had been growing out his hair to donate it for his younger sister who had childhood cancer.
I’d always thought I’d do it someday when the opportunity came, but only now did I finally make the decision.
“You’re going to donate? Then you’ll need to cut your hair even shorter—are you sure you’re okay with that?”
“Yes, I’m fine with it. Hair grows back anyway.”
“That’s true.”
The stylist draped a cape around my shoulders and nodded in agreement.
“The person who receives a wig made from your hair will be truly happy.”
The stylist had been delighted when I said I’d cut my hair short, but now as she was about to actually do it, she looked reluctant.
After carefully combing through my hair, she took out her scissors and spoke.
“So you’re really going through with this?”
“Yes.”
I gazed at my reflection in the mirror.

***

It was the day of Caroline’s rehabilitation therapy.
When Caroline saw me coming to pick her up, she gasped in surprise and let out a cry.
“My goodness! Lili, you cut your hair?”
I sat behind the steering wheel and asked with a bright smile.
“Yes. I cut it yesterday. How does it look? Does it suit me?”
“I can’t believe you didn’t cut it short sooner. It looks absolutely beautiful.”
“Right? It’s so convenient now that it’s short.”
Whether shampooing or blow-drying, it takes just five minutes now.
The shorter length still feels unfamiliar, and I’m surprised every time I brush my hair back.
But that’s nothing compared to the convenience I’ve gained from cutting it short.
“Why did you suddenly cut your hair?”
Jessie, who had helped Caroline into the car and then climbed into the passenger seat, asked.
He looked somewhat displeased.
“I’ve wanted to donate my hair for a long time. I just finally made up my mind and went through with it this time.”
I answered casually, as if there was no particular reason for cutting hair.
“Your mother must be thrilled. She’s been nagging you forever to cut your hair short or tie it up.”
At Caroline’s words, I burst out laughing.

‘Stop dragging your hair around like a ghost and look more like a proper student with a neat appearance!’

It was one of Harry’s Mother’s frequent nagging points.
Sure enough, when Harry’s Mother saw her return from the Hair Salon, she was absolutely delighted.
And Aemerus was….

‘Can I touch your hair?’

Startled by her sudden transformation, he asked for her permission before doing anything.
When Harry nodded, he gently stroked her hair with the careful touch of someone petting a cat.
In fact, her hair was so short that his hand barely made contact before it ended.

‘The back of your head is really round.’

Then he offered some cryptic observation—whether it was praise or something else, I couldn’t tell.
‘I suppose it was meant as a compliment…?’
Even if my new hairstyle didn’t suit me, Aemerus didn’t seem like the type to hold back the truth based on his nature.
In any case, I decided to take it as his own form of praise and move on.
“You donated your hair?”
“Yes. They said they’ll make wigs for cancer patients.”
“That’s such a noble cause. How did Lili find out about it?”
While Harry exchanged various words with Caroline, Jessie remained silent.
Only after they arrived at the Rehabilitation Center and Caroline went in for her treatment did he finally open his heavy mouth.
“Is this your answer?”
“What?”
“I asked you to keep your distance from Aemerus, and you put off answering me. Then you came back with your hair cut short. Is that your answer?”
“Aren’t you reading too much into just hair?”
“Lili, I’m not in the mood for jokes right now.”
“….”
I hadn’t wanted to have this conversation in the Hallway of the Rehabilitation Center, much less while waiting for Caroline.
Letting out a shallow sigh, I finally answered directly.
“Yes. You’re right. I won’t distance myself from Aemerus, and I’ll continue being close to him going forward.”
“Even if I don’t want you to?”
Harry nodded slowly, but with unmistakable resolve.
“Even if you don’t want me to.”
Jessie’s expression shifted to one of disbelief, then he let out a hollow laugh.
“Lili, how long have you known Aemerus? Two months? Fine, let’s be generous and say three months.”
“….”
“Meanwhile, how long have you known me? A full ten years. And yet I’m losing to someone you’ve only known for three months?”
“At least Aemerus doesn’t interfere in my relationships.”
“That’s not because he won’t—it’s because he can’t. He has no right to.”
“Then what about you? Do you have that right?”
This time, Jessie pressed his lips firmly shut.
“No matter how close childhood friends we are, no matter that we’ve known each other for over a decade—that doesn’t give you the right to say such things.”
“What if… what if I liked you?”
“What…?”
My mouth fell open in shock.
There was a time when I dreamed of being confessed to by Jessie.
That he’d always liked me, Lili, for such a long time.
Even in my countless sweet daydreams, a confession like this had never existed.
“…Let’s move somewhere else. We still have time before rehabilitation ends.”
Jessie had no intention of confessing so awkwardly either.
He sighed, brushed his hair back, and stood to leave.
The two of us stepped outside the Rehabilitation Center and sat on a bench tucked away in the corner.
“…”
“…”
Breaking through the layers of silence that had accumulated was difficult for either of us.
‘Jessie likes me? No. He said “what if,” so it’s probably not real.’
Wasn’t he making such a hypothetical because he disliked Aemerus so much?
“I like you, Lili.”
As if to mock me, Jessie drove the point home once more.
“…How long?”
“For a long time. Longer than you think.”
Jessie rubbed his face with his hand.
“As you know, my situation is… I’m not in a position to be in a relationship. That’s why I had no choice but to stay as your friend.”
It was a moment I had dreamed of for such a long time.
A moment I had desperately longed for, yet strangely, my heart remained calm.
Perhaps it was because one unresolved question was piercing through my heart.
“Would you have confessed to me even if Aemerus didn’t exist?”
“That’s…”
To my question that slipped out like a murmur, Jessie couldn’t answer. Unfortunately.
“I know you’ve met other girls besides me. Julia, Chloe, and probably a few more I don’t know about.”
“Lili.”
“You like me but you’re not in a position to date? Then why did you meet those girls?”
“I never dated any of those girls.”
Jessie’s face as he said this was so confident.
It almost made me seem strange for being angry instead.
“Lili, you’re… different from those girls. You’re precious in a way that can’t even be compared.”
“That sounds no different to my ears.”
I stood up first, intending to end the conversation.
“Give me a chance.”
Jessie grabbed me with a more desperate expression than ever before.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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