My Illusion Is Survival - Chapter 63

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 63

 

“Where are you trying to go at this hour?”

 

“You’ll know when we get there.”

 

“Weren’t you the one who didn’t want to let me go outside?”

 

“We won’t be leaving the manor grounds.”

 

He didn’t deny it either. The entire time I followed Azel, I was filled with wariness.

 

‘He might have learned something strange from somewhere again.’

 

Since Azel’s impulsive actions had become more frequent, and I never knew when or how he might trouble me next, I needed to stay on guard like this.

 

The place we actually arrived at was the estate garden.

 

“How unusually quiet it is.”

 

“It’s late.”

 

The garden that was always bustling with people was quiet now that the sun had set. Throughout our walk along the deserted, peaceful path, Azel didn’t say much.

 

“You should probably look ahead instead of just staring at my face.”

 

Thanks to that, I just kept staring at his face.

 

His profile was so serious that it was hard to look away.

 

‘His profile looks like a sculpture carefully carved by a master craftsman.’

 

In the end, I failed to notice the stone at my feet and my body swayed greatly.

 

‘If I fall like this, it’ll be so embarrassing!’

 

But I never actually fell. As the woody-toned fragrance circling my nose grew closer, a firm arm instantly supported my waist.

 

My floating body was now pressed too closely against Azel, making the unfamiliar scent from him even more distinct.

 

“I told you to be careful.”

 

“Did you put on cologne?”

 

When our words overlapped as they slipped out carelessly, our gazes became entangled as well.

 

Normally, this would be the timing for what I called a “face attack,” but for some reason, Azel was being well-behaved now.

 

“…I just, tried it once.”

 

Would it be strange of me to find his awkward gaze-avoiding even more heart-fluttering?

 

I was too flustered myself to ask why he was doing something he’d never done before. For some unknown reason, I felt embarrassed.

 

“Is it bad?”

 

“The scent?”

 

“…”

 

Only after I awkwardly shook my head did Azel begin walking again as if nothing had happened.

 

“Um, I think you can let go of my hand now.”

 

However, the arm that had been supporting me was now holding my hand.

 

“Keep holding on. You might fall again.”

 

He was embarrassed about the cologne, but holding hands didn’t seem to bother him at all. I couldn’t understand his standards, and while I grumbled internally, Azel’s steps finally stopped.

 

We were in front of the greenhouse site where construction had recently begun.

 

“They’ve built more than I expected?”

 

They said they were rushing, and indeed it had taken on a proper framework. At this rate, it would definitely be completed soon.

 

‘Just how much manpower did they pour into this…?’

 

I was looking at it pitifully, thinking about the tremendous labor that must have gone into it, when Azel’s voice suddenly drew closer.

 

“I’m going to plant the red flower you gave me as a gift in this place.”

 

“…A flower?”

 

When had I ever given him a flower as a gift? When I thought about it, something came to mind.

 

“What’s this?”

 

“A gift.”

 

“…You call this a gift?”

 

“Yes. It’s similar to the color of your eyes, isn’t it? Isn’t it pretty?”

 

‘Is he talking about what I forcibly pressed into his hand while demanding he tell me his name?’

 

I knew Azel couldn’t forget things, but I never expected him to remember even something like that and bring it up, so I was quite flustered.

 

“If there’s anything else you’d like to plant besides that, tell me. I’ll get whatever it is.”

 

“Do you need to decorate it with things I like?”

 

It was a strange thing to say. After all, I would have to leave without even seeing this greenhouse completed.

 

“It’s a space made for you. So it should be decorated with things you like.”

 

Made for me? When I quickly looked at Azel, he completely turned his head away, avoiding my eyes.

 

“What are you doing right now?”

 

“…I can talk like this, can’t I.”

 

Even though the position was too awkward, he really didn’t turn his head back.

 

“Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed?”

 

“No.”

 

For someone saying no, his visible ear was quite red.

 

‘Should I pretend not to notice?’

 

While examining the unfinished greenhouse up close, I realized something.

 

‘He built it in a place clearly visible from my room.’

 

When I looked up, I could see my room. The position where I could look down anytime from my window really seemed like a gift prepared for me, just as Azel said.

 

“You came out to the garden whenever you had time. Ron told me. He said you were very interested in plants.”

 

…That was just because I was trying to catch your attention.

 

‘So that’s why it had to be a greenhouse.’

 

He had completely misunderstood my frequent garden strolls.

 

He genuinely believed that my pretense of being interested in plants to avoid being chased from the garden was sincere.

 

Just as my mood was about to turn strange, Azel’s voice continued once more.

 

“I’m also thinking of getting rid of all the basements in the manor.”

 

“…Why would you do that?”

 

“You said you hated underground places. You probably won’t have to go there anymore, but there’s no need to keep something you dislike.”

 

Had he remembered even that?

 

‘Even if he can’t forget things, this is cheating.’

 

His kind consideration, unaware of my true feelings, pricked sharply at a corner of my heart.

 

‘What kind of expression should I make at times like this?’

 

I should just say thank you, that I’m moved, smile and make a fuss as usual. But now, faced with his pure goodwill, strangely my mouth felt bitter as if I’d swallowed bitter water, and no words would come out.

 

“…Is that what you wanted to tell me by suggesting we take a walk?”

 

So this was all I managed to say with difficulty. Though it was a question that would have been better left unasked.

 

“You looked depressed.”

 

“Did missing Arachne’s Thread make me look that depressed?”

 

“No. You’ve had a depressed expression ever since we met. So I wanted to make you smile, but I don’t seem to have any talent for that sort of thing.”

 

Now I understood. The strange aegyo he’d learned from Simoer, the midnight walk. It was all an effort to cheer me up.

 

‘He should have just stuck his face close to mine like usual.’

 

If he had, I would have laughed louder. I would have made a fuss without thinking, saying my heart was pounding.

 

But this kind of careful consideration was actually more troubling.

 

‘This way, I can’t even use his face as an excuse.’

 

At that moment, he finally turned his head toward me.

 

“It’s gotten late. …Let’s go back.”

 

His embarrassed, awkward expression was ridiculously watching for my reaction. He seemed concerned about my response, which wasn’t as enthusiastic as usual.

 

Because of that, I realized one more thing.

 

‘He’s changed.’

 

That wasn’t an expression skillfully crafted to seduce me. Like his gradually softening tone, Azel was changing like getting soaked in a drizzle.

 

And that,

 

was the same for me as well.

 

“…Yes. Let’s go back, us.”

 

I was so terrified of that fact.

 

*

 

“Should we stay together a little longer?”

 

Just as they were about to enter their respective rooms, Azel hesitated at the sound of Elpis’s voice calling out to him.

 

Though he had moved his quarters next to hers under an absurd excuse, that didn’t mean their interactions had increased.

 

The problem was the ghost incident that occurred after he visited her in the middle of the night. Since then, he hadn’t entered her room, making her current suggestion feel even more awkward.

 

However, perhaps sensing his hesitation, her well-shaped lips let out a joke.

 

“I won’t eat you, so don’t be so scared.”

 

“Who was the one scared when a ghost supposedly came?”

 

“The person who held my hand and came all the way here couldn’t have been replaced in the meantime.”

 

Was it just his imagination that her crescent-shaped eyes looked different from usual despite everything? But he had no reason to refuse.

 

Before he could even take his first step, a small remark brushed past Azel’s ear.

 

“…Thank you.”

 

The problem was the memory that flashed by like lightning right after.

 

“We meet again?”

 

‘What was that just now?’

 

His mind went blank for a moment at the voice that seeped in like an auditory hallucination. He felt a strange sense of déjà vu from her figure turning to look at him while holding the door handle.

 

“Are you going to keep standing there?”

 

Though he belatedly came to his senses at Elpis’s voice calling him, Azel’s heart was still pounding.

 

Perhaps that scene just now might have been a memory from his forgotten past.

 

Because that earlier scene was definitely unfamiliar within his unforgettable memories.

 

“Azel? Is something wrong?”

 

“…No. I’ll be right there.”

 

However, he couldn’t tell Elpis about that fact just yet.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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