My Body Has Been Possessed By Someone - Chapter 191

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 191
The Queen closed the door behind her as she entered.
“Neither of you is in your right mind.”
A quiet fury rippled across the Queen’s face.
“Alexei, thanks to you, the engagement party is finished.”
“Your Majesty? But the marriage ceremony….”
“The marriage ceremony will proceed tomorrow at the Grand Cathedral in private.”
At those words, Alexei furrowed his brow and asked.
“In private? Why would you do that?”
“Why indeed?”
Fury blazed in the Queen’s eyes.
“Thanks to the spectacle you’ve made of yourself, the prestige of the Friedrich Royal House has been tarnished. If we proceed with the ceremony in this state, it will become nothing but a laughingstock.”
At her words, Alexei’s face fell completely.
“I am disappointed in you, Alexei. You should understand what this marriage ceremony means.”
Marriage ceremonies were typically conducted by the High Priest. This was the first time the Divine Spirit himself would take the stage.
That was why this engagement was so extraordinarily special.
It was a golden opportunity to demonstrate the kingdom’s prestige before all the major figures of the Continent gathered in one place.
Until Alexei ruined it.
Alexei’s face flushed. Confronted with the consequences of his own actions, he finally began to come to his senses.
“Tatiana, you should leave now. I think it would be best if you slipped out through the back door.”
The Queen gestured toward a small side door.
“If you go out and make your way down the corridor, you’ll reach the Palace Garden.”
“Yes, I understand.”
“We shall discuss what comes next in due time.”
It was what I wanted. Before anyone could stop me, I opened the back door and slipped out.
I walked down the long corridor as the Queen had instructed.
As I finally emerged into the Palace Garden, the cool night air kissed my face.
I walked calmly toward the Lakeside in the garden.
I collapsed onto a wooden bench and buried my face in my hands.
‘Why does this keep happening?’
No matter how much the world refuses to bend to one’s will, wasn’t this too much? I sighed and lifted my face.
….
And I saw him. The figure who had approached without a sound.
A ceremonial robe embroidered with golden thread, his pristine white vestments gleaming pale beneath the moonlight.
I gazed at the vestments wavering before me, then slowly lifted my head.
And our eyes met for the first time in a very long while.
Raphael looked down at me with an utterly expressionless face.
At that gaze touching me after so long, I found myself swallowing involuntarily.
“Don’t ever come looking for me again.”
It was the first time our eyes had met since that day.
How could so much change in merely a few months?
Perhaps it was the castle’s austere beauty, as if woven from moonlight itself. I was discovering for the first time that white could possess such overwhelming presence.
Moreover, his jawline had grown sharper than when I last saw him, and his eyes were deep and dark, as though submerged in fathomless waters.
It made him feel like a stranger I’d never known.
Then he spoke.
“Why did you give your heart to such a man?”
Despite the cutting words, his voice was serene as a lake in a vacuum where no breeze dared blow. I answered without hesitation.
“I didn’t know he was like that.”
I laughed at my own words.
Yet they were sincere, utterly true.
Who could have known Alexei possessed such depths? Not I, not the Queen, and certainly not he himself.
“What do you wish for now?”
But Raphael seemed unmoved by sentiment and swiftly changed the subject.
“Do you desire marriage with Prince Lorenzo?”
I couldn’t answer immediately. I couldn’t discern his intention behind the question.
Here, in this place I had chosen by rejecting his proposal, I was betrayed utterly.
I had expected him to witness this misfortune and condemn me, mock me, or at least murmur something like “you should have taken my hand instead.”
He did none of those things. He merely asked what came next.
“If you do not wish it?”
“Do as you will. Whatever it is, I shall follow your wishes.”
At those surreal words, my mind snapped back into focus. He was offering me the choice to come to him whenever I wished.
‘Why?’
Did he not remember what I had done?
Even if he wanted me dead, I would have no grounds for complaint—yet he offered to help?
I was so astounded that I found myself asking without thinking.
“Aren’t you angry with me?”
Raphael blinked, as though he didn’t understand the question’s origin.
“Ah.”
But soon, as if realizing, he answered softly.
“You need not keep your promise to me. Not if another path serves you better.”
I had never heard such logic in my entire life.
I gazed up at him in bewilderment. His face was pristine, unmarred by pretense or falsehood.
He harbored no resentment toward me whatsoever.
“Of course, I am disappointed. But I feel nothing for you.”
Nothing.
In those words, I finally found the answer.
Raphael does not rejoice. He does not grieve, does not rage.
He simply obeys when commanded. That was all.
Despite all the countless rejections and betrayals I had shown him, his emotions had never once been wounded.
No—from the very beginning.
‘He has almost no emotions.’
I had thought he was simply someone who didn’t express much, but that wasn’t it.
From the beginning, the range of emotions he experienced was far too narrow. That was simply who he was.
Did Raphael notice what I was thinking? For a moment, bewilderment flickered across his eyes.
“I understand that my foolishness can displease others. I am endeavoring to improve.”
Improvement. Effort. It seemed he regarded it as a flaw.
I spoke carefully.
“Don’t speak that way. I simply came to understand why you are as you are.”
“You need not understand me.”
Raphael cut through with words sharp as a blade.
“I am prepared to follow whatever you desire, so you need only command what you wish.”
After a brief pause, he continued.
“If you do not wish to marry Prince Lorenzo, please tell me. I will refuse the wedding ceremony tomorrow. A marriage without the priest’s blessing becomes void.”
“….”
“What is your will?”
His words were correct. What mattered now, in this very moment, was the situation I faced.
I, who had been staring at him intently, exhaled a sigh.
“What I want is….”
* * *
After my conversation with her ended, Raphael moved forward.
And I retraced the conversation with Kanna Adis.
It was something I always did. I would retrace and retrace again—had I made any mistakes, had I perhaps displeased her?
I had to.
Just as Kanna Adis had discerned, my capacity to feel emotions was inferior to others, and by that same measure, my ability to perceive the emotions of others was equally lacking.
That was why, when dealing with Kanna Adis, my mind would go blank with tension.
I deliberated over every single word before speaking it. Lest my thoughtlessness and emotional coldness displease her.
My eyes froze over with cold.
I didn’t understand.
What mistake had I made that she would ask about me? Why….
‘Why did she think I would be angry?’
I had already told her countless times that I would do anything for you.
So if you abandon me, if it makes you happier, then being abandoned is only natural.
Then why did you say such things?
‘I should have shown anger.’
Had I done so, she might not have noticed my deficiency.
Raphael learned that if a similar situation arose next time, he must show at least some anger.
This was how I had learned, and continued to learn. Like a doll mimicking humanity.
“Gasp!”
Walking through the Palace Garden, Raphael stopped in his tracks.
“I, I greet the Divine Spirit.”
Raphael stared intently at the man before him—a wretch trembling as though he might collapse at any moment, terror draining the color from his face.
“Astan.”
The priest’s complexion turned ashen. His knees quivered uncontrollably.
“Do you… do you remember me?”
“How could I forget you? You were prepared as a sacrifice for me.”
Astan could bear it no longer and collapsed to his knees, convulsing violently.
“Why are you like this?”
Raphael tilted his head, genuinely perplexed.
“I didn’t create myself. So why do you fear me?”
Yet despite his words, Raphael’s eyes were merciless.
He remembered what Astan had done to Kanna. What had transpired before his own eyes. Three years of disrespect inflicted upon her.
“Please… please spare me. I beg you.”
As Raphael drew closer, Astan wept and pleaded. To him, Raphael was a terror he could never overcome in his lifetime.
To create the next Divine Spirit, the Grand Temple had sacrificed countless priests.
He had witnessed their life force being drained before his very eyes.
Astan was meant to be one of them.
Had Raphael not fled midway, that would have been his fate.
“Please… please save me…”
Raphael inclined his face.
Why was he already weeping?
I hadn’t done anything yet.
Though it was understandable—he had witnessed the entire process of my transformation into a Divine Spirit.
But he should know it was not of my own will.
Rather than make excuses, Raphael reached out his hand.
Kanna. She is my god.
Those who insult a god deserve death.
‘And I too deserve death.’
Created by absorbing countless lives and divine power, I myself was sin incarnate, my very breath a transgression. A cursed existence deserving of oblivion.
So I sought to die, yet she saved me.
An innocent girl who knew nothing, offering me bread and milk, applying medicine, commanding me to live.
Not only that—ignorant of what my body was made from, she came to heal me each time I was wounded or broken.
Unaware of how horrific my blood was, she grieved each time it spilled and wiped it away with care.
Each time Kanna did this, I gazed down at her pristine nape and thought of a fawn.
Like a young deer approaching to lick the wounds of a poisoned monster. Innocently.
Foolishly.
And yet.
Raphael reached out his hand. Just before it could touch the weeping, pleading Astan.
“Horrible.”
Those words she had spoken months ago pierced him like a blade.
Raphael lowered his hand. He looked at Astan, who was on the verge of losing consciousness, then turned away.
And so I walked. Slowly, then quickly, then slowly once more,
until finally I came to an abrupt halt.
I placed my hand over my chest.
“…?”
I tilted my head in confusion.
Whenever I recalled her words, there was a strange ache somewhere deep within my heart….
But then again. As always.
I couldn’t quite understand it.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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