In This Life, I Want an Oscar, Not a Husband - Chapter 3

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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This life, I choose The Oscars over a husband.
Chapter 3

“Ah, but if that’s the case, I won’t be able to feed you the other actor’s lines. You said the script changed, right?”
“No, it’s fine. Just keep it as is.”
…?
Keep it as is?
Faced with Ha Eun-rae’s answers that continually defied her expectations, Je-gal Se-yeon hesitated for a moment before nodding.
“Well… sure, then.”
At her response, Ha Eun-rae broke into a radiant smile and bowed her head.
“Thank you so much!”
Just moments ago, she’d been negotiating with the director like a seasoned actress, but now her brightened face bore the characteristic naïveté of someone in her twenties.
Yet this strange sense of déjà vu—was even this an act…?
While Je-gal Se-yeon felt a twinge of unease, Ha Eun-rae suddenly rose from her seat and ducked beneath the desk…?
Then she poked her head out slightly and spoke.
“Action whenever you’re ready!”
“Ah…. Yes….”
‘Strangely adorable.’
Come to think of it, the female lead ‘Soo-in’ was a character who ate beneath desks and slept under beds, believing herself to be a ghost.
Was she really reenacting that…?
The Cinematographer beside her suddenly burst into laughter.
Je-gal Se-yeon nearly laughed as well but held it back.
An audition had to be judged objectively.
“Action.”
The moment she called action with solemn resolve.
The Cinematographer quietly lowered the camera toward the space beneath the desk.
In that brief moment, Ha Eun-rae—no, ‘Soo-in’—with her hair completely disheveled, was captured on camera.
Like a true specter, she crouched beneath the desk, her eyes rolling expressively.
The sight was eerily unsettling, yet—
‘Cute.’
What was this?
This cuteness.
She’d written ‘Soo-in’ as merely a hikikomori patient, but Ha Eun-rae was layering her own unique charm onto the character.
And yet there was no absence of that particular desolation unique to someone who’d been gnawing away at their own inner world for so long.
The behavior of someone who believed themselves to be nonexistent in this world—a ghost—came through subtly in her expressions, in the tips of her fingers, in the very ends of her toes.
The way she avoided stretching her body fully, or how her eyes rolled to constantly scan her surroundings while in that crouched position—it all looked unstable and pitiful.
Like a frightened kitten.
The unexpected image of Soo-in that emerged caused Je-gal Se-yeon to glance at the script a beat too late.

[Hyun-woo: Ahem… Pardon me.]

Right, of course.
Hyun-woo had to enter now.
“Ahem.”
The moment Je-gal Se-yeon cleared her throat while reading the script.
Ha Eun-rae, who had been pressed flat against the desk pillar, suddenly flattened her entire body against the floor.
Simultaneously, Ha Eun-rae’s hair spread wide across the ground.
“…!”
What was that—that feline movement.
Adorable.
I felt it again, but truly… she really was adorable!
The moment Je-gal Se-yeon witnessed that scene, the storyboard in her mind began revising itself frantically.
Originally, this scene was supposed to be shot from the male lead’s perspective looking at the female lead.
It was meant to objectively illuminate how sorrowful Soo-in’s life had been, living like a ghost all alone, while the male lead would feel a measure of pity.
That was the only way the romance would feel like it could begin.
Because it was written out of obligation—a sense that “it had to be this way”—Je-gal Se-yeon hadn’t been able to envision the direction for this scene clearly.
But watching Ha Eun-rae’s performance, directorial ideas began gushing forth.
The character had transformed!
“I… beg your pardon…”
When Je-gal Se-yeon delivered Hyun-woo’s line, Ha Eun-rae’s Soo-in, still lying face-down, lifted only her gaze to look at the camera.
Does she know the camera position has been adjusted?
Je-gal Se-yeon was startled once more.
In Ha Eun-rae’s eyes, which had seemed frightened at first, a sudden glimmer of light sparkled and gleamed.
What… what was that?
And in the next moment, Ha Eun-rae lifted her head sharply.
The way her movements shifted from slow to suddenly fast, the subtle variations—they evoked a cat far more than a human, and it meshed perfectly with the ghost concept.
If we shot this handheld, it would create an even more ethereal quality.
Before she knew it, Je-gal Se-yeon found herself drawn into Ha Eun-rae’s performance with such thoughts.
Ha Eun-rae, having lifted her head, crawled toward the camera, and her eyes took on a wistful, distant gaze.
“…Yong-mok?”
Tears began to fall steadily from eyes that had been dry just moments before.
The sight was so poignant that Je-gal Se-yeon didn’t even notice the script had changed.
Only when she finally collected herself and delivered the next line did it happen.
“Um… I heard you’re a tenant living here…”
“Honey, you finally came to me. Did you become a ghost too?”
…?!
Je-gal Se-yeon finally grasped how this actress had rewritten the script.
Ha Eun-rae smiled, tears clinging abundantly to her lashes.
“I missed you!”
She had pulled it off—that delicate performance of crying while laughing.
And Je-gal Se-yeon’s mind became extraordinarily complicated.
Because she had finally grasped how to reshape the script.
Honestly, the next audition barely registered in her thoughts.
The female lead for this film was already decided.
All those accomplished Korean National University of Arts graduates were unnecessary.
Je-gal Se-yeon’s only choice now was singular.
Ha Eun-rae—a twenty-one-year-old newcomer who had never shot a proper film.

* * *

‘The atmosphere isn’t bad at all.’
After finishing my performance, I swept my gaze across Je-gal Se-yeon’s and the Cinematographer’s expressions.
Having passed through countless auditions and meetings, I was a virtuoso at reading such atmospheres.
An actor is fundamentally a profession of being chosen.
No matter how astronomical an actor’s fee might climb, it doesn’t mean you can freely pick whichever projects you desire.
And on this set, the casting decision rests with director Je-gal Se-yeon.
I knew exactly what kind of person Je-gal Se-yeon was.
‘I’d met with her before because I wanted to appear in one of Je-gal Se-yeon’s works. I didn’t end up getting cast, but…’
That film, incidentally, had surpassed ten million viewers.
Tch.
It stung that she didn’t pick me, but Je-gal Se-yeon is a master of touching comedies that make South Koreans laugh and cry.
Given that this meeting was with such a director, I had thoroughly studied her entire filmography beforehand.
The same applied to her feature directorial debut, 【Living with a Ghost】.
Honestly, it wasn’t that entertaining.
Since it was a director’s work that excelled at both pathos and comedy, my expectations were high, but the romance fell short…
Still, I remember the comedic opening was quite amusing.
‘As expected, she nails the mise-en-scène of the comic elements brilliantly.’
I’d even jotted down parts I found lacking or enjoyed while watching, and the shortcoming I’d identified in 【Living with a Ghost】 back then was this:

The connection between the female and male leads was weak.

“Why did you decide to change that part like that?”
Je-gal Se-yeon asked with a slightly surprised expression.
“I thought it would be more interesting if the female lead was in the car with her lover instead of her parents when the accident happened. So I set it up so that the female lead mistakes the male lead for her dead lover.”
That was true.
I had attempted improvisation partly to hide the fact that I hadn’t memorized the script, but I was genuinely acting out the parts I felt were lacking.
When I watched the film back then, I thought that for the chemistry between the two leads to shine more brightly, their narratives needed to be woven together more deeply.
In true romance, when two people’s voids meet, they explode with an almost maddening intensity.
Just like….
‘The way I wanted to meet Kim Do-woon and fill my void regarding family.’
“So you set it up so the male lead resembles her ex-lover? That seems a bit contrived….”
“I don’t think they need to resemble each other.”
“But then why would she mistake him for her lover?”
“Because she’s lonely.”
I gazed at Je-gal Se-yeon quietly as I spoke.
By the way, Je-gal Se-yeon had been filming my face the entire time.
So while I was looking at Je-gal Se-yeon, I maintained a 75-degree angle toward the camera as I spoke.
It was the angle at which my acting looked best.
‘Who told me that again….’
With that thought, I continued.
“Soo-in has been alone for so long, hasn’t she? She believed herself to be a ghost, isolated herself, and resolved her guilt that way. But truthfully, she must have been lonely. She wanted to connect with others, and so the moment she saw a man who didn’t really resemble—”
I recalled the day I first met Kim Do-woon.
Honestly, he wasn’t my type.
The man who showed up in a red sports car near the film set despite my saying it was fine, then took me to a fancy restaurant.
His pretentious tone, his excessively kind demeanor, the way he kept praising my appearance—these were all behaviors that wouldn’t normally have attracted me.
But—

“You’ve been in some controversy recently, haven’t you?”
“Ah… yes.”
“People really don’t know what’s good and just talk nonsense. Right? Don’t worry about that sort of thing. Honestly, I like you, Eun-rae. And if you become my woman, I’m going to shut all those people up. I will.”

Because I was lonely.
Because I wanted someone to take my side without hesitation.
Romance doesn’t begin when two perfectly matched souls recognize each other.
It’s closer to a fantasy born from my own emptiness.
“You wanted to believe that man was your lover. And in my opinion, that kind of love….”
I felt a sudden swell of emotion rising within me.
Regret. Sorrow. Despair.
And at the same time, as always, I found myself thinking about how I appeared on camera in moments like this.
Through countless monitoring sessions, I had learned something.
I—
‘Look beautiful in moments like these. Graceful, magnificent.’
“…There’s no reason.”
I let a single tear slip down my cheek, acutely aware of the camera’s gaze.
And in that instant, watching Je-gal Se-yeon and the Cinematographer’s expressions, I knew for certain.
I’ve passed this audition.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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