I’m a Villain, but I Want to Live a Long Life - Chapter 156

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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“I know you did it on purpose.”

Rubel’s face went blank.

“I went to your room more than ten times. I also went to Duke Haren’s office several times.”

“…”

“But I couldn’t see you at all. There was no way I could find you. How could I find you when you were determined to hide?”

The forest was quiet.

“And then you suddenly appeared yesterday, and what did you say?”

Last night, I was in Duke Haren’s office.

It was to share the information I had received from Walter.

Duke Haren’s cooperation was essential to make contact with Hanod and plan for the future.

After hearing about the situation, Duke Haren immediately increased security near the Academy.

Not only did he secretly deploy several guards to protect Hanod’s safety, but he also assigned guards to me.

My guard was supposed to be someone named Gaspard, whom I had seen in the forest on the day of the Dearmant incident.

That was until Rubel suddenly burst through the office door.

‘I’ll do it myself.’

‘…Rubel?’

‘Of course, I alone won’t be enough. Please give permission to bring Tigris knights into the Academy. Even tonight if necessary.’

Rubel was resolute.

His argument was that both infiltrating Hanod’s meeting place and interfering in Sorad royal affairs were dangerous.

He insisted that my guards must be composed entirely of Tigris people.

His logic was that only someone who knew me well and whom I knew well could be entrusted with my protection.

And the emotion I felt while watching such a Rubel was… bewilderment.

Because Rubel had been avoiding me for several days already.

“What the hell is this?”

Rubel looked at me with a slightly tense expression.

“…What do you mean.”

“Do you want to get stronger and be reinstated?”

Rubel hesitated and frowned.

“I never said anything like that…”

“I heard everything. From Duke Haren.”

A short breath escaped through Rubel’s lips. He somehow had an expression tinged with slight betrayal.

I stared at him intently and finally asked the question I had been pondering for the past few days.

“Are you trying to distance yourself from me?”

Then Rubel, who had been turning his head halfway to the side, looked at me. I didn’t avoid his gaze and met his eyes directly.

The night of the Dearmant incident. I remembered that day’s events clearly.

‘…You said you liked me.’

The words Rubel had said while looking at me collapsed.

It wasn’t something blatant like ‘I like you.’ But it definitely had that nuance.

‘No matter how inexperienced I am with romance, I’m not stupid enough to miss something like that.’

It became clear once I gave up on the plan to connect Estelin and Rubel.

The gaze that avoided mine when I stared directly.

The tips of his ears that turned red without resistance at the slightest teasing words.

And ultimately, all the words Rubel had said to me that night.

At first, I was bewildered. But that emotion soon changed.

Into something strange I had never felt before.

It was mysteriously liberating, and even when I was still, my body felt like it was floating in the air.

It was an emotion I had never experienced in my previous life or this one.

The more I thought about it, the more I felt like I was becoming an idiot. Yet my insides kept tickling, making me confused.

But after making someone feel that way.

‘Not showing even a trace of yourself from the very next day… does that make sense?’

My clenched hand trembled slightly.

At first, each day passed incredibly quickly. Even in the midst of being busy, my heart fluttered whenever I had a moment.

What should I say if we met? What expression should I make?

And how should I… respond?

I worried alone like that until I perfectly realized that Rubel was avoiding me.

I steadied my breathing.

I heard from Duke Haren.

Rubel had shown signs to the Duke that he wanted to build his strength and return to the Empire.

In other words, that meant he wanted to reclaim his lost position.

‘If Rubel has made up his mind like that.’

He will achieve it.

I couldn’t be sure about others, but I could be confident about this. Because I knew that Rubel was the male protagonist of this world.

Rubel was someone who could reclaim the imperial throne if he had the will. He had both the qualifications and ability to do so.

I kept my mouth shut and looked down at the ground. The occasional breeze seemed to cool even my head.

It was true that Rubel had said he liked me.

But even so.

‘Me. With Rubel?’

An answer didn’t come readily.

This was why I had been anxious for the past few days.

Then at some point, I vaguely realized what I was really afraid of.

Until now, Rubel had been a disappeared prince.

He was in a position where he never knew when or where he might be attacked, always having to hold his breath and hide his appearance.

He had nowhere to lean on. Nowhere else but me.

‘But that’s not the case anymore.’

I had thought this way before.

When training with the Tigris Knights, Rubel’s growth rate was tremendous.

Within a few months, he had surpassed most of the elite soldiers, and his abilities were even more impressive.

‘Rubel will continue to change.’

Now that he had even made a resolution, it would be even more so.

But if that happened. In the future, if Rubel really became emperor.

What then?

At that time, it wouldn’t be just me by his side like now.

There would be many people other than me who would care for and support him.

In the original story, among them, the person closest to Rubel was Estelin.

As Adam and Amon had said, pure and abundant divine power.

A heart more good and upright than anyone else in the world.

Above all, Estelin was an honorable person.

She had nothing to hide from Rubel.

She loved Rubel and was a perfect lover and comrade who supported him unconditionally.

‘Although the two didn’t end up together, I can’t completely erase the fact that Estelin was a great help to Rubel.’

During the past few days while Rubel was avoiding me, I thought about that point.

And I came to a conclusion.

“That day.”

“…”

“The day I collapsed.”

I felt Rubel looking at me.

“I heard everything you said. …And what you did too.”

I was referring to when he had kissed my hand.

Rubel’s eyes widened. I met those eyes for a long moment. Then I finally parted my lips and spoke quietly.

“I want you to think seriously about those feelings again…”

Rubel’s expression instantly hardened.

“When I reached out to you in the Cursed Land, honestly, it wasn’t from pure intentions. You know that too.”

The Tigris family was in danger at that time. And I knew what kind of ending awaited at the end of that path.

That’s why I saved Rubel. Because I wanted to keep the missing prince like an insurance policy.

I was nothing more than someone who tried to use him.

“The words about becoming each other’s weapons were just nicely packaged lies. Actually, I don’t have any ability to see the future either.”

My gaze dropped slightly.

“I lied to you. I had to take you with me that day no matter what. Because I thought that was the only way for me, for our family to survive.”

Unable to look directly into Rubel’s eyes, I continued speaking.

“So, so what I’m saying is…”

“…”

“I don’t want you to feel indebted to me.”

When I finally raised my head with difficulty, Rubel had a somewhat confused expression.

“I don’t want you to feel sorry toward me. And I don’t want you to mistake your feelings because of that guilt. That’s why I…”

“I noticed your lies a long time ago.”

Rubel cut off my words with a very cold voice. I flinched and closed my mouth while looking at Rubel.

“When you’re hiding something. Do you know what your expression looks like?”

“…”

“…Selene. You think you know me well.”

Rubel’s frowning face was pale.

“It’s the same for me.”

“…”

“Sometimes I can tell just by looking at your expression. What you’re thinking. What you’re hiding.”

“…”

“I was the one who pretended not to know even though I knew about your lies. Because such things didn’t matter from the beginning.”

Rubel’s voice grew slightly louder. I stared at him blankly without saying anything.

Rubel’s eyes were shaking. This was the first time I’d seen him unable to control his emotions like this.

This was the same Rubel who had remained calm even when it was revealed that Duke Haren was his grandfather.

“I…”

As his words trailed off, Rubel looked down at the ground weakly. Then after a long while, he finally raised his head again.

His face clearly showed a pained expression.

“You think I feel indebted to you?”

“…”

“So you think I said those things that night just because of something like that?”

I couldn’t give any answer.

I just stood there quietly, looking at Rubel’s face that was still coldly frozen.

“This is why.”

“…”

“I avoided you because I was afraid you’d be like this.”

Rubel took another step toward me.

“Because when I see your face like now, the words I wanted to say won’t come out. Because I needed time.”

His wavering eyes suddenly became cold as ice.

“Yes, that’s right. I admit it. There were times I felt sorry toward you. I told you before, that I felt uncomfortable because I couldn’t be of any help to you.”

As expected, Rubel seemed to have something like a sense of duty toward me.

It was bitter, but it was something I had somewhat expected. I nodded my head.

“But the order is wrong.”

However, at the words that followed, I froze blankly again. Cold wind swirled around us.

“It’s not that I developed these feelings because I felt sorry.”

“…”

“I started feeling sorry because I had these feelings.”

Rubel’s clear voice pierced through the wind and reached my ears distinctly.

“You asked if I intended to reclaim my position. Yes. That’s what I plan to do.”

“…Rubel.”

“Not as a fugitive with nothing like now, but to become someone who can give you everything I want to give you.”

Rubel came closer. Now we were standing with barely two spans between us.

His characteristic cool scent wafted over, and then the final words followed.

“Because then I think I’ll be able to say confidently, without these damn guilty feelings, that I want you to stay by my side.”

At that moment, the surroundings became quiet as if it were a lie.

“I like you.”

“…”

“Not because of debt or guilt. I just like you.”

“…”

“I’ve liked you for much longer than you think. Selene.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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