I’m a Villain, but I Want to Live a Long Life - Chapter 111

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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‘This person is Lady Hemera.’

It was the first time I had seen her face directly.

Dazzling golden hair that half-covered her white forehead, and deep blue eyes.

In the windy landscape, the Duchess was smiling more brightly than anyone else.

Looking at her, I could understand why Father had missed his wife so much.

Even though it was just a photograph, I could feel a gentle and comfortable atmosphere from the Duchess.

But what was even more surprising was…

‘She really looks alike.’

As Rubel had said, she looked exactly like me—that is, Selene.

Especially her smiling face was so similar that my heart unconsciously pounded.

As I felt my chest tighten and took a slight breath, Rubel muttered.

“What could have been the connection between these three people?”

I quickly looked up.

Rubel was bent toward me, looking at the photograph. His eyes sparkled beneath his lowered eyelashes.

“The clothes the ladies are wearing.”

I looked at the photograph again. Indeed, the three people’s attire caught my eye.

The two duchesses were wearing identical formal uniforms. Meanwhile, the Former Empress was alone in comfortable casual clothes.

“The ladies—no, our mother and Lady Laurent—what they’re wearing looks like Rishion Academy graduation robes.”

Rubel nodded while looking at me. I pondered for a moment before continuing.

“The cottage being close to Duke Halen’s domain means it’s also close to the Academy.”

“That’s right. It’s just a short distance through the forest.”

“Then maybe the two people attending the Academy secretly snuck out of the forest and discovered the cottage? And that’s where they met your mother.”

Rubel made a slightly contemplative expression before agreeing.

“…Yes. That’s also a possibility.”

I nodded and added.

“Besides, the three of them were of similar age and the same gender. They could have become close quickly.”

‘It was the same with Rosette and Estelin.’

Being of similar age makes it easy to grow close at some point, without even realizing it.

As I carefully examined the photograph, I muttered quietly to myself.

“But you said earlier that cottage was Father’s hideout.”

Rubel nodded.

“Then it seems like it wasn’t just these three people who gathered at this cottage, doesn’t it?”

“…”

“Seeing that Count Bastin knows this cottage as Father’s hideout means that at least our father was included in that friendship.”

I could feel Rubel staring at me intently. I held out the photograph to show him as I spoke.

“Considering that our father and His Former Majesty were close friends… your parents likely met at this gathering too.”

It wasn’t just the three ladies who were close, but rather three couples who were close.

Drawing that conclusion made everything from the letter’s contents fall into place.

How the Former Emperor and Former Empress met through friends.

How they naturally fell in love and promised their future together. How they exchanged hearts through letters after the Former Emperor went to war.

How the three ladies relied on each other while waiting for their respective lovers.

I stroked the surface of the photograph with a strange expression.

“…They were all more uniquely intertwined than I thought.”

However, rather than a sense of achievement from uncovering the truth, a different emotion filled my chest.

Because there was still one unresolved matter remaining.

The Former Empress’s background. The truth about her past and family.

Those fragments had yet to come together.

I finally looked up. And I asked Rubel in a calm voice.

“Rubel, do you know anything about your mother’s parents? I mean, about your maternal grandfather or grandmother.”

Rubel, who had been lost in thought, looked up at me. He shook his head faintly.

“I’ve never heard about them. I think she said there were other people who raised her.”

The people who raised the Former Empress were probably the elderly couple in the other photograph.

‘Should I tell him that Duke Halen might be Rubel’s maternal grandfather?’

Looking up at Rubel’s face, his expression was calm and composed.

His quiet eyes beneath thick eyebrows, and the line from his nose to his chin even looked noble.

But…

‘He wasn’t like this when we first met.’

When I first met him in the Cursed Land, his atmosphere was quite different from now.

Rubel back then was a fugitive. Living an anxious life, never knowing when, who, or where someone might attack from.

This child’s childhood, which I didn’t know about, must have been a continuous time of predicting ominous possibilities.

The family he suddenly lost, and an uncertain future. The dangers and hardships that might come at any time.

I knew too well what that feeling was like. I had lived a somewhat similar life in my previous existence.

That’s why it was problematic.

‘If it’s revealed that there was actually another family he could rely on.’

I couldn’t guess whether that would come as relief or betrayal.

‘Besides, Rubel has struggled with matters concerning his mother several times…’

Though I pretended not to know, on nights when his feelings became complicated, Rubel always came to my room.

And he would sit silently by the window for a long time before leaving. I could draw that lonely expression with his back to the moonlight even with my eyes closed.

As I unconsciously bit my lips tightly, Rubel suddenly asked.

“Selene, are you okay?”

I quickly looked up. Rubel was looking at me with a puzzled expression.

“Ah… it’s nothing. I just have something to think about.”

Rubel hesitated and closed his mouth. Then after maintaining silence for a moment, he asked calmly.

“Is it something you can’t tell me?”

My eyes widened.

I reflexively shook my head but couldn’t bring myself to speak. My feelings were complicated.

‘What if telling him makes Rubel hate Duke Halen instead?’

Conversely, the same applied to Duke Halen.

‘No matter how long he’s been searching for his daughter, Rubel is the missing prince.’

Just revealing their shared bloodline would clearly make him a target for many people.

The Empire already had a new imperial authority firmly established, and in such circumstances, few would welcome the return of the ‘missing prince.’

Of course, Duke Halen seemed like a good person. But I couldn’t be certain whether he would bear such risks.

As I unconsciously made a groaning sound, Rubel, who had been quietly watching me from across, spoke.

“Selene.”

But his voice sounded slightly strange. When I looked up, I saw a rather serious expression.

“Do you remember what you said to me on the first day we entered the Ducal Palace?”

I blinked blankly. Rubel had a quiet and calm expression.

“You said we should become a symbiotic relationship.”

“Huh?”

“If I became your weapon, you would protect me.”

“…Ah.”

Those words brought back old memories.

The day I brought Rubel back from the Cursed Land to the Ducal Palace. It was definitely what I had said in the meeting room with Ansun present.

“You’ve been remembering that all this time?”

When I asked with surprised eyes, Rubel smiled bitterly.

“How could I forget?”

His voice saying that sounded somehow pitiful.

“…I’ve been keeping that in mind. All this time, constantly.”

Rubel, who had been looking at me, slowly lowered his gaze. His eyes somehow trembled slightly.

“But… I’m increasingly unsure. What use am I to you right now?”

Rubel silently traced the table slowly with his index finger. Light wrinkles formed on his clean brow.

“Just look at today.”

“….”

“Our current relationship isn’t symbiotic. Unless you count me parasitically depending on you one-sidedly.”

As if holding something back, he let out a long breath and stared directly at me.

Meeting that gaze, I opened my mouth with a flustered expression.

“No, what are you saying right now….”

“I want to be helpful to you too.”

“…What?”

“But right now, I feel like I’m just a burden. …It’s painful.”

My mouth gradually fell open. I was so surprised I couldn’t easily find words to respond.

“I know you don’t need my help. You’re already amazing as you are.”

He let out a bitter laugh. It was somehow a self-deprecating smile.

“This might sound ridiculous, but….”

“….”

“At one point, I was even envious of your maid.”

My eyes widened.

“Arranging your bed, washing your feet. Even if it were just tasks like that, I really could have done them gladly.”

I couldn’t understand at all what he was saying right now.

After hesitating for a long while, I finally parted my lips.

“No, you….”

“….”

“What are you talking about? A maid? No, more than that, saying you’re useless.”

Rubel met my gaze with calm eyes.

“There are many things you can’t tell me.”

“…That’s,”

“I’m not saying I resent you for it. It’s probably all because I’m untrustworthy.”

“What?”

I was at a loss for words.

But then, Rubel, who had been watching me, flinched slightly.

“Ah….”

Then he soon whispered with a short sigh.

“…Sorry. I said something unnecessary.”

His low voice trembled slightly. I continued to stare at Rubel with wide eyes.

Rubel had a somewhat complicated expression.

“My words came out wrong. It’s not your fault.”

“….”

“I know it’s all my problem. The fact that you can’t rely on me is also something I need to handle.”

With deeply sunken eyes, he forced a smile.

“Selene, it’s okay if you can’t trust me. It’s true that I haven’t been able to help you at all until now. But I’ll keep trying. So that we can have a symbiotic relationship, like you said in the beginning.”

“….”

“Until then, even if you’re disappointed in me, there’s nothing I can….”

“Wow, I really can’t listen to this anymore.”

Finally cutting him off, Rubel closed his mouth. His smile had already disappeared from his face.

I took a breath and spoke firmly.

“No, you seem to be misunderstanding something.”

“….”

“Why would I be disappointed in you? I’ve never been disappointed, not even once!”

Rubel hesitated, then smiled faintly. I looked at him with a confused expression.

Soon he muttered quietly.

“…You never had expectations from the beginning.”

“What?”

A sigh escaped me involuntarily.

One mountain after another—I wondered why such thoughts were in Rubel’s head.

“Why are you being like this?”

When I asked in an incredulous voice, Rubel quietly looked at me.

“I admit that I haven’t told you everything. And I’ll apologize. There were various reasons. But it wasn’t because I don’t trust you!”

“Then what is it.”

“I’m just worried!”

A slight tremor appeared in Rubel’s expression. He looked at me quietly, then muttered.

“Why would you worry about me….”

“Because Duke Haren might be your grandfather! That person who was here earlier might be your family…!”

I closed my mouth mid-sentence.

Silence fell over the drawing room. I looked at him while barely managing to steady my breathing.

Rubel was expressionless, but deep confusion swirled in his eyes.

I finally held my forehead and let out a deep sigh.

“See…! Where would you find someone who wouldn’t be shocked by something like this….”

But at that moment.

The sound of something crashing came from behind.

When I turned my head, I saw the floor in chaos with broken dishes, cookies, and overturned teacups.

Beyond that, someone was standing at the doorway.

It was Duke Haren, holding a tilted tray.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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