If I Were Reborn, I Wouldn’t Marry You - Chapter 84

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 84

“But I’m jealous.”

Leonhardt regretted these words the moment he spoke them.

He had crossed the line that had been drawn between him and Miela.

The line he had tried so hard not to cross for the sake of maintaining his minimal qualification as a husband on paper.

The two years of the second round must have made him careless.

He felt ashamed of this foolish mistake after so long.

Yet at the same time, he couldn’t let go of the subtle expectation that perhaps they were now close enough for him to say such things.

Leonhardt glanced sideways to gauge Miela’s reaction.

“Huh, what?”

However, Miela, who had made a flustered sound as if confused, fell silent afterward without any further reaction.

The atmosphere grew heavy in an instant.

But he couldn’t take back words already spoken.

Leonhardt trembled with fear that he might have ruined even this hard-won opportunity with his own reckless behavior.

Fortunately, Miela remained as kind as ever.

“Haha, you know. You’re my best friend.”

Despite being clearly flustered by Leonhardt’s sudden display of feelings, she still smiled at him.

Though the word ‘friend’ stung his heart like a piercing pain, it was a familiar ache by now.

The 18-year-old Leonhardt who had been too blinded by the pain of unrequited love to see anything else had become a 22-year-old Leonhardt who could pretend to be fine with an expressionless face.

And now, two years later, Leonhardt had become capable of feigning laughter even while uttering words that denied his own feelings.

“Right, but I’m still jealous.”

Because the kindness Miela had barely regained was too precious for him to let go.

Leonhardt forced the corners of his mouth up into a smile.

But this was his limit.

An awkward silence lingered between the two for a while.

Just before the atmosphere became irreversibly uncomfortable, a boy’s voice broke the silence.

“Miela! Where are you?”

It was Caspian.

Miela’s face, which had been unable to hide her troubled expression, instantly brightened.

“I’m over here!”

She waved her hands enthusiastically even though her figure couldn’t be seen through the trees.

“I’ll come to you, so wait there. We might miss each other otherwise.”

“Okay!”

Perhaps worried that another silence might fall while Caspian approached, Miela launched into an explanation with an artificially bright voice.

“Since you took so long to come back, Caspian and I came looking for you together. We agreed to go back if we couldn’t find you after 30 minutes, and I guess 30 minutes have already passed.”

Fortunately, just as Miela finished her explanation, Caspian spotted them.

“I thought you had gotten lost too!”

Caspian scolded lightly, rolling his eyes.

“Sorry.”

Miela smiled sheepishly.

Her attitude was much more natural than when she dealt with him.

His already battered heart ached as if being squeezed.

But since he couldn’t repeat the same mistake twice, Leonhardt simply watched the two with the best smile he could muster.

Caspian shook his head and sighed.

“Miela, I thought you were the more mature type, but you’re just a kid after all. I should have gone with you.”

“Wow, you’re the biggest nag among all the people I know.”

Miela walked while covering her ears with an exaggerated expression.

Caspian, who had quickly caught up to Miela as if to guide the way, continued his scolding.

It was only scolding in words—it was actually affectionate concern.

“Ah, really! Such a nag.”

Miela seemed to understand this too, as her reaction was gentle.

Caspian and Miela walked side by side while Leonhardt quietly followed behind them.

As if trampling down the greed that had somehow grown within him.

“This is awkward…”

“Huh? What did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

I didn’t have the confidence to make eye contact with Leonhardt.

I walked while pretending to be absorbed in conversation with Caspian.

However, I missed the timing to respond about every other time.

I couldn’t help but be concerned about Leonhardt, who was slowly following a few steps behind.

I glanced back toward Leonhardt.

Leonhardt wasn’t the type whose expressions were easy to read, but that was only true during the first round.

As a child, his features had softened, and his personality had become somewhat gentler, so now I could more or less tell what he was thinking.

‘I think it’s also thanks to the longer time we’ve spent together.’

During the past two years, it felt like we had grown closer than we had in over a decade during the first round.

Thanks to this, I easily noticed that Leonhardt was in a very dejected state.

‘What’s wrong? Why does he look so down?’

I reproached myself with what must have been countless regrets.

‘I shouldn’t have reacted like that. Things were finally getting better.’

It seemed like I had ruined our relationship again.

Our relationship was already somewhat precarious as it was.

It had become ambiguous since our marriage had disappeared along with the regression.

‘We say we’re friends and that he’s like a younger brother, but…’

He was someone who had once been my husband.

He obviously couldn’t be a younger brother, and I wasn’t the type who could remain friends with an ex-husband.

Our relationship was one where we had glossed over this complex and subtle dynamic by calling it friendship.

Until two years ago, I had liked this relationship.

It meant I no longer had to be the Empress.

But after time passed and my head cooled, thinking about it again, it also meant that Leonhardt was no longer my husband.

I had lost my husband Leonhardt, who had been blunt and oblivious, with very peculiar taste in women—or perhaps he just didn’t like me—but who was also subtly affectionate and very sincere.

Honestly, I was so exhausted during the first round that right after the regression, it felt like a not-bad trade.

‘I even felt liberated and happy about it.’

But I felt a bit wronged belatedly.

And in such a ridiculous situation at that.

‘If you had said such things when you were my husband, I would have liked you for much longer.’

It was an emotion that I stubbornly insisted was just slight fondness, not love, because of my pride.

But changing the name tag didn’t change the essence.

The drizzle that arrived only after the beautifully blooming flower had withered felt only bitter.

I slowly gathered my thoughts.

‘Our current relationship is probably for the best.’

After learning in the first round that Leonhardt didn’t love me as a woman, I had once wondered why he had proposed to me.

And the conclusion I reached while nursing my wounded pride was that.

‘He didn’t particularly like anyone else, and since Roderick and I were of great help in his becoming Emperor, he wanted to repay the favor.’

Since our marriage had started for such a reason, if I didn’t show interest in this round, there would be no proposal.

Then we would each live our own lives.

Suddenly, my stomach felt sour as if I had taken medicine on an empty stomach.

‘Why?’

I had even thought it would be nice if he got together with Angela, who liked Leonhardt.

Now of all times?

‘No, is “now of all times” actually right?’

Looking back, there was only one reason I could afford to act so nonchalant while pushing Leonhardt away.

‘Because I couldn’t truly feel that I had lost Leon.’

And for good reason—Leonhardt’s attitude toward me hadn’t changed at all before or after my regression.

So he still acted as if he were my husband.

‘And at some point, he even started acting more affectionate.’

That’s why I was so thoroughly mistaken.

I thought I’d be fine even if Leonhardt disappeared from my life.

‘It was a delusion I had because I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like after losing him.’

But Leonhardt’s single statement made me realize the existence of feelings I thought had withered away and disappeared.

My mouth felt bitter.

However, my towering pride wouldn’t easily accept reality.

‘Get a grip, Miela. Are you thinking of pathetically falling into unrequited love again?’

I couldn’t even remember the moment I started liking Leonhardt.

But the moments when I struggled not to like Leonhardt were still vivid even now.

It had been painful, sad, and devastating.

I didn’t want to go back to those times.

‘This current state is for the best.’

I tried to act rationally.

It wasn’t easy.

I had prided myself on becoming much more rational after my regression, but that was almost like a delusion born from improved circumstances.

The past that was also the future, which I thought had disappeared, still remained within me.

‘So persistently…’

The realization came in an ordinary moment, in an ordinary way.

I wasn’t starting to fall in unrequited love again.

I was still in love with Leonhardt.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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