If I Were Reborn, I Wouldn’t Marry You - Chapter 81

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 81

“Huh, what?”

I stammered in confusion, my face bewildered.

Even though I was a native speaker of the Imperial language, I doubted my ears, wondering if I had heard correctly.

‘Did he just say he was jealous?’

Seeing Leonhardt’s ears turn bright red as if they were on fire, while he turned his head away to avoid my gaze and only showed his profile, it seemed like I had heard right…

‘Him?’

Without realizing it, I found myself looking at Leonhardt with unfamiliar eyes.

And for good reason—Leonhardt had never shown signs of jealousy even when we were married.

It was during the early days of our marriage, when I still had illusions about married life.

There was once an important party, but Leonhardt had urgent business and couldn’t accompany me.

Even Father and my brothers had scheduling conflicts, so as a last resort, I brought one of my guard knights as my partner.

Since we were newlyweds, bringing another nobleman I was acquainted with would obviously start affair rumors, so I decided to just be a slightly bad boss instead.

Sir Walter, who went with me as my partner, was known by everyone to be a devoted husband.

‘Everyone knew it was an unavoidable situation, so there wasn’t much reaction.’

But it certainly wasn’t a pleasant situation for me.

I heard several barbed jokes from noble ladies who were trying to put down the young Empress.

‘Things like whether His Majesty the Emperor had already allowed me to attend parties with men other than himself as partners, even though we were newlyweds.’

I returned to the palace a bit more tired than usual and complained to Leonhardt about the noble ladies’ ‘jokes.’

Leonhardt’s response was so indifferent that I wondered if he had properly heard me.

‘But we’re newlyweds!’

Even when I openly grumbled because I was thoroughly upset, Leonhardt didn’t even notice that I was angry.

‘Does he really like me?’

At this point, I became puzzled.

No matter how indifferent a person might be, love usually comes with some degree of possessiveness or jealousy.

Since he expressed so few emotions, I wondered whether he was jealous but I just couldn’t tell, or whether he didn’t get jealous at all.

And I got my answer not long after.

‘It was clearly a situation that could cause misunderstandings, but Leon just pretended not to see it…’

It would have felt less awful if he had gotten angry with me instead.

When I pressed him while furious to the tips of my hair, he remained silent for a long time before even saying, ‘If it’s just a casual relationship, I’m fine with it.’

‘Bad guy.’

Objectively speaking, it was a very blue-blooded attitude.

Couples in political marriages often had separate lovers.

As long as it didn’t affect succession issues, turning a blind eye was almost expected.

Only after soaking several handkerchiefs with tears did I accept that we were a couple who had an ordinary political marriage, similar to others.

‘When we were in a relationship where jealousy would have been legitimate, he didn’t say a word…’

And now?

Of course, I know that Leonhardt’s words were a failed joke.

‘I should have just laughed it off appropriately.’

I missed the timing.

Like an idiot…

“Haha, you know. You’re my best friend.”

I tried to salvage the atmosphere by laughing awkwardly, albeit belatedly.

However, the air that had felt refreshing just moments ago now seemed to press down on me.

The love that Leonhardt thought of was soft, tender, and warm.

Not a desire to completely possess someone.

Leonhardt wanted to be Miela’s breath and life, just as she was to him.

No, he wanted to monopolize Miela’s entire world.

‘This can’t be normal love.’

It was fortunate that he at least knew his feelings weren’t typical.

He smiled bitterly in self-mockery.

At some point, Leonhardt became unable to fully reveal himself in front of Miela, fearing that his ugly desires would be discovered.

In a state of extreme tension, he carefully selected only the soft, tender, and warm things from within himself that were closest to ordinary love to give to Miela.

But as his feelings grew, his desires began to consume those soft, tender, and warm things.

Gradually, it became difficult even to pretend to love Miela purely.

At some point, it became too much to suppress his desires.

But Leonhardt had to manage it.

If Miela learned of his true feelings and ran away, this precarious relationship built on lies would crumble.

Then one day, there was a government meeting that Leonhardt absolutely had to attend.

Unfortunately, Miela also had an engagement that day that required bringing a partner.

Even the men of House Roderick couldn’t accompany her.

So in the end, Miela took one of the Empress Palace’s knights as her nominal partner and returned in a bad mood.

The two of them ended up having dinner together that evening for the first time in a while.

During the meal, Leonhardt remained consistently silent.

The reason Miela had gone to the party with a knight was ultimately because he was busy.

Even knowing this, if he opened his mouth now, petty jealousy would obviously spill out.

Jealousy over people around Miela was seated in the deepest abyss of his desires.

Even Miela, who would normally chatter to break the silence, was quiet, so only stillness circulated in the dining room.

It was when the meal was almost over.

Miela, who had been hesitating for a moment, spoke up as if tossing out the words.

“You know, Marchioness Bellua asked if His Majesty the Emperor had already allowed me to attend parties with men other than himself as partners, even though we’re newlyweds.”

Leonhardt felt confused by the unexpected words he heard while off guard.

Her tone was certainly casual, as if she was telling him about something impressive that had happened that day.

But it didn’t seem to be Miela’s complete true feelings.

For Leonhardt, who lacked social awareness, that was as much as he could discern.

Leonhardt pondered how he should respond.

And before too much time passed, he finally opened his mouth.

“It’s simply a party partner, after all.”

Even as he spoke, Leonhardt felt somewhat confused.

He wasn’t sure if this was an appropriate response.

He quietly observed Miela’s reaction, as if waiting for a grade.

The way she pressed her red lips tightly together seemed like she was somewhat displeased.

‘Did she mean she wanted me to go with her next time?’

It wasn’t very seemly for an Empress to bring a knight as her partner, rather than family members or a grown son.

If it wasn’t about the partner issue, then perhaps Marchioness Bellua’s words had made Miela uncomfortable.

While he was pondering which might be the correct answer, Miela, who had finished eating first, stood up from her seat.

Scrape.

She deliberately made noise pushing her chair, as if showing her displeasure.

“Right, just a simple partner.”

By the time Leonhardt registered Miela’s words, she was already leaving the dining room.

“Emil, did you enjoy your trip?”

“Yeah, I really didn’t want to come back…”

Miela was spending time with Emilian Noyen under the pretext of catching up with a friend who had returned home after several years.

Although she was acting as if she had tremendous interest in Emilian’s travel stories, Leonhardt knew that Miela wasn’t really interested in Emilian’s tales.

She just didn’t want to talk with him.

However, even if it was a conversation used as an excuse, the two people who had been friends since childhood looked intimate.

Even now…

“Emil, duck your head for a moment. You have something like thread stuck in your hair.”

“Really? Where did it come from?”

When Emilian slightly lowered his head, Miela carelessly ran her fingers through his hair.

Emilian’s well-groomed hair became disheveled, but neither of them cared.

“Alright, go on now. That Young Lady over there wearing the blue dress.”

Leonhardt gritted his teeth.

At that moment, Miela glanced back toward Leonhardt.

She seemed to have instinctively looked this way, sensing the intense gaze.

Leonhardt belatedly composed his expression.

Fortunately, Miela’s gaze only briefly touched Leonhardt’s face before moving away.

Leonhardt secretly let out a sigh of relief.

He could tell without looking in a mirror.

Just moments ago, he had completely failed to hide his feelings of being utterly consumed by truly ugly jealousy.

The only thing that his daily growing desire could never invade was his will not to disappoint Miela and his wish for Miela’s happiness.

He was fortunate not to show his lowest point to the one he loved.

However, Leonhardt shouldn’t have felt relieved at that moment.

Rather, he should have found some excuse to get rid of Emilian Noyen.

Before Miela became more interested in Emilian.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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