If I Were Reborn, I Wouldn’t Marry You - Chapter 105

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 105

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“Are you saying a man who is affectionate and considerate is someone like Floyd Young Master?”
I reflexively started to answer Leonhardt’s question before hesitating.
If I were to categorize Floyd Young Master by type, affectionate and considerate would certainly fit.
‘Though I can’t be certain since we’ve only met briefly….’
But he was definitely different from the affectionate and considerate man I preferred.
‘If I’m being honest, the current Leonhardt is closer to the affectionate and considerate man I described?’
Of course, there was still something slightly lacking.
Compared to before my regression, the difference was nearly as dramatic as the change Leonhardt showed after meeting Emilian, but….
Having grown up surrounded by my family’s exceptional love for their youngest, Leonhardt’s occasional indifference struck me quite profoundly.
After deliberating for a long moment instead of answering immediately, I eventually gave an ambiguous response.
“That’s a bit excessive. I think I prefer something more understated.”
Perhaps to those who spread rumors about the men of Silvaren being romantic, Floyd Young Master might appear adequately affectionate.
‘But that’s my preference. So what.’
Since Leonhardt’s question was subjective anyway, what did it matter if my answer was subjective too?
It wasn’t an exam.
I had answered lightly, but upon hearing my response, Leonhardt became even more serious.
“A man who is understated yet considerate and affectionate….”
Leonhardt, wearing a grave expression as he pondered, asked me another question.
“What does that feel like?”
My mouth didn’t open immediately.
It was a vague feeling I hadn’t yet fully articulated, which flustered me somewhat.
“Hmm.”
I tried to choose an appropriate answer, but my thoughts wouldn’t organize themselves.
I ended up saying what I was thinking directly.
“I wish you showed a little more expression than you do now? And….”
Once my mouth opened, my desires kept cascading one after another.
I had already acknowledged that I liked Leonhardt romantically.
Even if I wore the Empress’s crown again, I wanted to marry Leonhardt and envision our future together.
‘Since I’ve already tried once, I can do better this time.’
My conclusion, arrived at after going in circles, was firm and confident.
However, if Leonhardt remained the kind of man I had to search for sincerity within—still as expressionless and detached as someone searching for a four-leaf clover in a meadow—I could never have married him.
‘Whatever happens later, neither I nor Leonhardt will marry. We’ll just live as we are.’
Of course, in this scenario, I would be choosing not to, while Leonhardt would be unable to.
As I imagined myself in my mind’s eye preventing Leonhardt from marrying another woman, I laughed wickedly like a villainess from a novel.
‘A future that will never come.’
My plan for Leonhardt to marry as soon as he grew up was proceeding very smoothly.
Quickly regaining my composure, I naturally continued with what I had been trying to say.
I’d been lost in thought for a moment, but Leonhardt was equally absorbed in his own contemplation, so the silence felt entirely natural.
“I prefer people who are honest with their emotions.”
This wasn’t a requirement for being a kind and considerate person—it was simply my own desire.
He seemed to have a naturally small emotional range to begin with, yet Leonhardt always suppressed his feelings.
It appeared to stem from the influence of his childhood.
And the emotion Leonhardt suppressed most effectively was anger.
I too was the type who made an effort not to be emotional for the sake of pride.
But Leonhardt was far worse than I was.
Just before the regression—back when our relationship had reached its lowest point.
‘I wanted to just let it all out and be done with it, and I’d been driven into such a corner myself.’
Looking back now, there were times I’d been unnecessarily harsh with Leonhardt.
‘I pouted like a child, insisted stubbornly like a brat… In hindsight, I was so immature I can’t even explain why I acted that way.’
Yet despite all that, we never once had a real fight.
I was the only one who got angry, while Leonhardt simply endured and let it pass.
‘Even excessive patience has its drawbacks.’
In the end, half my frustration came from feeling like I was talking to a wall, and half from the rational voice telling me I shouldn’t treat Leonhardt that way, so I stopped my petty sulking—but after that, things between us felt awkward.
Suppressing emotions was like wearing a mask when facing someone.
‘It would have been healthier to have one big fight and clear the air between us.’
Looking back at my first life, that was my greatest regret.
My mood turned bitter as I stared blankly at the sky, and Leonhardt remained quiet too.
He seemed to be lost in deep thought.
We fell silent for a long while like that.
It was Leonhardt who broke the silence first.
“Is being honest with your emotions really always good?”
It was a faint voice I might have missed if I’d been lost in deeper thought—so faint I almost didn’t catch it.
Like a desperate plea for help from someone so paralyzed by terror they couldn’t even scream.
‘Coward.’
All those Empire people who say you’re scary are just wrong.
To my eyes, you’re nothing but a frightened little rabbit.
It’s been so long since I brought you out of the Separate Palace, and you’re still like this.
I stretched out my arm and ruffled Leonhardt’s hair—he was now only about a centimeter taller than me.
I deliberately ruffled it roughly, as if to say “cheer up even if it’s rough,” but Leonhardt silently accepted my touch.
No, he seemed to welcome my rough affection.
‘Look at me, being mean to someone who’s being so obedient.’
I carefully smoothed out his disheveled hair as I spoke.
“You’re not someone with a warped personality like Prince. So what’s wrong with being honest with your emotions?”
I’d intended to convince him quite logically, but Leonhardt didn’t answer.
“Huh?”
I nudged Leon lightly with my elbow, prompting a response.
Then Leonhardt opened his mouth with a faint voice.
“…In some ways, we might be similar.”
For a moment, I couldn’t grasp the meaning behind Leonhardt’s words.
“Are you saying that right now, I might have a character as corrupted as Prince’s? Am I interpreting this correctly?”
When I asked in bewilderment, Leonhardt nodded with a heavy expression.
His expression was so intensely serious that it seemed this was something he had been wrestling with deep in his heart.
“Hmm.”
I fell silent, lost in thought.
I wanted to dismiss it as absurd, but Leonhardt’s gravity made that impossible.
I continued questioning him to find the source of this misguided belief.

* * *
“Do you really feel that you and Prince share similarities?”
“…Sometimes.”
In truth, it was quite often.
Whenever I refined the emotions I could show Miela, I often felt that I resembled Prince in essence, though our directions differed.
After answering with rare honesty, Leonhardt studied Miela’s expression.
Miela narrowed her brow as if troubled.
Fortunately, her reaction wasn’t one of revulsion or fear as Leonhardt had long worried it might be.
“Well, you’re brothers after all, so there could be some similarities….”
Miela opened carefully, then drove her point home with firm resolve.
“You’re a far better person than Prince. Though admittedly, people stranger than him are extremely rare.”
By Miela’s measure, I would be better than Prince. …Slightly.
At least I possessed the self-control not to act on my impulses.
‘Though it’s probably because I fear being hated by Miela.’
Leonhardt, who had been nodding formally, found his cheeks suddenly cupped in Miela’s hands.
Miela’s eyes widened as she gave him a stern look.
“You don’t believe me?”
Meeting those transparent, crystalline eyes, Leonhardt felt his insides turn completely inside out.
Perhaps that’s why, even knowing this was a conversation that should end, he laid bare his heart.
“You don’t really know what kind of person I am.”
Leonhardt spoke with a melancholy tone, gazing at his reflection in Miela’s eyes.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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