I Won’t Pick Up The T*ash I Threw Away Again - Chapter 66

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#66

“Instead, I can only give you 30 minutes. Anything longer is impossible as I have my own schedule. As you can see, I was on my way to work at the Imperial Palace.”

“Good. That’s enough.”

Fillen smiled and extended his hand.

“Shall we go inside then?”

Go inside? Where?

“You’re not thinking of entering my house, are you?”

“Why not? Wouldn’t that be better for having a conversation?”

“No. It wouldn’t be good.”

Who would want to let him into my house? I had absolutely no intention of doing that.

“Let’s have our conversation here.”

Fillen’s brow furrowed.

“You want to talk on the street?”

“I’m more comfortable with that.”

Being on the street meant I could ask for help from people around if something happened.

With people watching, Fillen wouldn’t be able to act recklessly either.

“If you don’t like it, I’ll be going now.”

When I actually turned around to leave, Fillen urgently grabbed my arm.

“You’ve become quite impatient since we last met.”

Well, that’s because I don’t want to sit face-to-face and talk with you.

Fillen hesitated for a moment, which was unlike him, then spoke.

“…Now that I think about it, I think I was too indifferent to you all this time. I’m sorry.”

Should I say it’s fortunate that he realized this now?

“I’m sincerely reflecting on it. So I’m asking you… Won’t you come back to the domain?”

Even after I gave him such a harsh rejection yesterday, seeing him come here and say such things, he really must want me to return to the domain.

But what should I do, Fillen.

“I’m sorry, Your Grace.”

My heart has already completely left.

“As I told you at yesterday’s party, I have no intention of returning to the Williot Estate.”

I had let go of my dream of becoming the Duchess Williot when I left the Williot Estate.

It would be a lie to say not a single trace of regret remained, but my desire not to return was much stronger.

I no longer wanted to be ignored by him and live watching his moods.

At my answer, Fillen’s face instantly turned bright red.

“I’m bending over backwards like this, yet you’re being stubborn to the end.”

I’ve never been stubborn.

“What exactly do I have to do for you to come back? Tell me what you want. I’ll grant it.”

“You don’t need to do anything.”

I answered calmly.

“Because I have no intention of returning no matter what you do. So please, Your Grace, give up as well.”

Having this back-and-forth with him was exhausting both physically and mentally. I wanted to stop now.

“Please.”

I pleaded earnestly, hoping never to be entangled with him again over such matters.

Then Fillen’s expression crumbled. It was the first time I’d seen him look like that.

“We’ve spent so much time together, yet you’re abandoning me so easily.”

Who abandoned whom?

I was so dumbfounded and speechless that I was momentarily at a loss for words.

I wanted to snap back asking what nonsense he was talking, but considering Fillen’s status, I refuted as calmly as possible.

“Your Grace was the one who abandoned me first.”

Then Fillen bit his lips tightly.

Since he’s not denying it, it seems he hasn’t completely sold his conscience.

“That’s why I said I was sorry.”

His words and expression didn’t match at all.

“I sincerely regret being indifferent to you and snapping at you all this time. I apologize.”

“Thank you for apologizing, even now.”

“Is that all you have to say?”

When I nodded to indicate that was the case, Fillen let out a big sigh and covered his face with his bandaged hand.

There was some blood on the pure white bandage.

He was fine yesterday, but did he get injured in the meantime?

Since I had fond feelings as much as I had bitter ones, I was somewhat worried.

But I didn’t voice it. I didn’t want to give him hope by saying something unnecessary.

Even if it seemed somewhat heartless, it was better for both him and me to cut things off decisively while I could.

“If you have nothing more to say, I’ll be going now.”

I bowed to Fillen and turned around.

“Wait…”

Fillen suddenly grabbed my arm.

“Ah!”

At his stronger grip than expected, I frowned slightly and looked at the arm he was holding.

“…!”

That’s when it happened. Fillen threw my arm away and drew the sword at his waist.

I staggered for a moment from that, but fortunately regained my balance quickly and didn’t fall disgracefully.

Fillen looked somewhere while holding his sword, then soon slashed at empty air.

“…No wonder you won’t come back.”

Golden eyes filled with killing intent stared at me.

Meeting those eyes, I felt a chill as if I were standing in the middle of a street on a cold winter day without a single coat.

I wrapped my arms around myself and stepped back. My legs were shaking and I felt like I might collapse at any moment, but I forced myself to endure.

“Princess Tebesa.”

His voice also carried a chill. His attitude was completely different from before.

“I ask you one last time. Will you really not return?”

“…Yes.”

I forced out my voice that barely came out and answered.

Then Fillen slashed at empty air again and mounted his horse.

And he rode away without looking back.

What? Is it over?

Worried that Fillen might come back, I stared intently in the direction he had disappeared, but he didn’t return.

“Phew.”

Only then feeling relieved, I let out a big breath and patted my chest.

“It’s really… over, right?”

Since he said it was the last time.

I was a bit worried since Fillen was the type to change his words as easily as flipping his palm, but surely he wouldn’t cling to me again after I rejected him this thoroughly.

He was a man with higher pride than anyone else.

So this could be considered the complete end of my connection with Fillen.

That was joyful, but on the other hand, I felt melancholy because this also meant my connection with the Williot Duchy was completely over.

The Dowager Duke and Duchess Williot who cherished me so much.

The servants and landfolk of the duchy who thankfully followed the words of someone who was merely a fiancée.

And even the duchy’s advisors who grumbled but helped me greatly…

I couldn’t cut off my longing for everyone in the Williot Estate except Fillen all at once.

But I had no intention of turning back or stopping.

Because this was the path I had chosen.

I intended to keep moving forward.

* * *

The killing intent he felt the moment he grabbed Leilah’s arm.

Fillen had faced the same killing intent before.

The Emperor’s shadow, Hilltain.

That bastard being attached to Leilah meant the Emperor had assigned him to protect her.

‘So she really did become his concubine.’

It was a fact he already knew, but having it confirmed again made him feel quite terrible.

But that was all. Fillen had decided, as he said, not to give Leilah any more chances.

Unless she came crying and clinging to his legs first, this would be the last time he extended his hand from his side.

And Leilah had coldly brushed away that hand.

“….”

Recalling that fact somehow made a corner of his chest throb. His mood also sank dismally.

It was all because of Leilah.

His mood had soured because a mere count’s daughter dared to argue with his words and tried to go against his will.

Now that he wouldn’t see her anymore, he wouldn’t have to feel this way again.

As Fillen returned to the manor, struggling to compose his mood that had hit rock bottom, the butler came running to him in pale shock.

“Y-Your Grace!”

The butler, who valued dignity, running so urgently meant a very urgent problem had arisen.

Had Leilah come back again?

Or had the Emperor done something strange again?

“What’s the matter?”

Fillen, who had dismounted his horse, asked the butler with slight tension.

The butler standing before Fillen shouted.

“A-An urgent message just came from the domain…!”

Ah, so it’s not about Leilah.

Fillen finally felt relieved.

“M-Miss Sisly has gone into labor!”

No sooner had he felt relieved than the butler brought up disturbing news.

Labor when there was still time left before the due date.

The first worry that came to him was whether something might be wrong with the child.

Fillen frowned deeply and mounted his horse again.

“We return to the domain immediately.”

* * *

As soon as I entered the Imperial Palace, I felt countless people’s gazes.

People stopped what they were doing and stared at me. I could see people openly whispering too.

I had expected people’s stares to be severe, but it was worse than I thought.

Though sighs were boiling inside me, I pretended nothing was wrong on the outside and entered the Records Room.

When titles were inherited or someone newly received a title, everything was recorded and stored in the Records Room.

I had come to the Records Room to see if there were any precedents of women receiving titles in the past.

As far as I remembered, there weren’t any, but you never know.

I hoped there would be some. That way, it wouldn’t be strange for me to receive a barony.

I looked around the Records Room broadly. Since the Empire’s history spanned over a thousand years, the amount of recorded materials was enormous.

The vast materials made my jaw drop just looking at them.

I should start looking from records about 100 years ago.

At least I knew for certain that there were no such precedents before that time.

I took materials from the bookshelf and brought them to a table set up in one corner of the archive room.

Then I sat on the sofa and carefully examined them, going back in time starting from materials from 100 years ago.

But nowhere was there any record of a woman receiving a title.

In the past, there was a female doctor who made great contributions in war with her excellent medical skills, but even she only received rewards, not a title.

It was the same even when families had no male heirs. The title didn’t go to the daughter, but was inherited by the man who married that daughter.

Simply for the sole reason of being a woman.

While it wasn’t legally prohibited for women to hold titles, it was as good as secretly forbidden.

But if I were to receive a barony, I would become the first person to break that custom.

The word “first” felt too heavy.

I put down the materials I was looking at onto my lap and let out a deep sigh.

“…Am I really going to be okay?”

“With what?”

“…!”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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